A/N: Man, I forgot how much of a headache chaptered fics were. I always have trouble keeping on the path, which sucks because there are really not a lot of subplots in this one. Crazy. But yeah, between sickness and replaying Kingdom Hearts (I had such a relaxing MLK weekend break), I managed to write this! I tried to make it longer but still not ramble (something I'm not terribly good at?)

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearst, SquEnix does.

Antithesis

"You get sadder the smarter you get."

III

"I like it when you laugh, Ienzo! You don't expect a sound like that from someone like you."

"What do you mean?"

A shrug. "I'm not sure, you just look so preoccupied all the time, but then you turn around and smile and laugh like it's the easiest thing in the world."

A smile, a laugh.

"See?! Like that!"

- - -

When Ienzo first began to reference Myde in the lab, Even and Aeleus gave each other looks of surprise. Their surprise, however, turned into quiet content as Ienzo slowly began sleeping in his dorm room and leaving his dissertation in the lab, forgotten and near-finished. It had been a long time since they had seen him get along with someone new; the boy was far from extroverted, even if he wasn't exactly antisocial.

"Perhaps this is a sign," Aeleus muttered one early morning, sipping idly at his coffee cup and perusing Ienzo's dissertation with a red pen. He was pleased to see that spelling and grammar errors were absent and the only criticism he could give was lack of explanation on certain points and the occasional choppy sentence. A satisfied grunt permeated the air as he turned the page.

Across from him, Even shrugged. He, too, was idly sipping coffee, but instead of an undergraduate dissertation, he was reading his own handwritten notes on the prior day's research. When he spotted a non sequitur, his eye twitched violently. They would have to perform that experiment again.

"Or perhaps it's just a young man going out and making friends," he returned snidely. "Life isn't a novel." Even paused and looked over to Aeleus with sardonic eyes. "But of course, I can't expect an English major to understand something like that."

Now it was time for Aeleus' eye to twitch. The fact that Even constantly mocked his college studies put considerable strange on their acquaintanceship ("friends" was a strong word). In fact, it sometimes seemed that the only thing keeping the two on good terms was their concern for Ienzo, and Aeleus considered that reason enough to stay on good terms with the man.

"How are Xehanort's memories coming?" muttered Aeleus after a moment of brittle silent. He could barely restrain an expression of annoyance as Even launched into a boisterous account that would surely last for the next cup of coffee.

He hoped it was a sign.

- - -

"Ienzo? Ienzo! Wow, I didn't expect to see you here!"

Ienzo couldn't help but smile as Myde rushed down the stairs of the stage, somehow managing not to trip over his dress shoes or murder someone in his mad frenzy. The Radiant Garden University Auditorium was packed with misty eyed mothers and stony shouldered fathers, reluctant younger siblings and bored older ones, all there to see some relation or another play their hearts out for an hour straight. Friends also dotted the seats, supportive and curious as to what their favorite orchestra member had been doing locked up in the practice rooms for the past month. This was where Ienzo fell into place and he noted with pride that he barely winced when Myde pulled him into an overenthusiastic hug. Perhaps it did mean that much to him, but he would never know; no one wanted to watch research for hours on end.

"You did well," Ienzo muttered, barely returning the hug before stepping away. "I didn't know you could play the sitar that well."

A laugh escaped Mydes lips and he reddened in embarrassment. "Yeah, it's my first true love!" he proclaimed. "The guitar only came in because, well, you can't really play the sitar in a rock group. Doesn't work like that."

Chuckling, Ienzo nodded and cast an uncomfortable glance toward the door. At least five people in the groups around him were crying and the emotion pervading the air was making him feel quite out of place. He wondered if Myde planned on scouting out other friends or if he would fancy the idea of just leaving now.

"You want to get out of here?" asked Myde, casting his own wary gaze to the tears. "It's getting kind of depressing and I'm pretty sure my other friends are out partying or something." Something sparked in his eye at this statement and a grin swept over his face. "You should meet them! That's what we'll do, c'mon!"

Before Ienzo had time to agree or protest, he was being swept out the door. Myde mumbled something about the stagehands getting his mammoth of a love ("I just can't bring myself to tell her she should lose some weight, y'know?") back to the orchestra department and killing them if he found a dent on the instrument. The muttering went on until they were walking down some quiet alley toward an apartment building on the other side of town.

"So is your dissertation finished?" Myde asked. The question was a tradition; something that meant so much to Ienzo deserved to me asked after. Myde had found he rather liked listening to the young man's ramblings on his beloved paper and Myde saw his love for his sitar reflected in the relationship.

"My coll–my friend, Aeleus, is revising it," replied Ienzo, a small smile gracing his features at the word 'friend.' The word was rarely factored into his vocabulary, but when it appeared he couldn't help but notice the warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. "When I saw him today he said he thought it looked very good, save for a few obscure terms or poorly worded sentences. It's due at the end of the week, actually."

Myde gave an approving nod and a low whistle. "I bet you'll do great on it! Man these shoes hurt. Do you care if we go by my dorm so I can change?"

"Not at all."

"Okay! So, what've you been doing at the lab? I mean, I've been seeing a lot of you lately, so I guess the work has slowed down?"

Ienzo's gaze slid over to his friend and he let out a snort. "Even has been dominating everyone with his own research," he muttered bitterly. Seeing Myde's confused expression reminded him that his friend had no idea who Even was. "Even joined the research group a few months before I did, valued because of his in depth studies in amnesia-related psychological problems. The first apprentice suffers from amnesia and Ansem has always been set on uncovering his past, so letting Even onto the team was common sense."

"Aren't you a psychology student, though? I mean, I don't see why you haven't been doing anything for the past few weeks."

Another laugh left Ienzo's lips and Myde decided he didn't like the noise; it was too dark and depressing and old. "I've been assigned to 'upkeep lab equipment and exhaust all avenues of claiming new laboratory facilities.' In other words, they don't believe me capable to understand the research they're doing at the moment. Really, though, what they're doing isn't complex; psychological solutions to amnesia are still very primitive and ineffective and I highly doubt someone as dense and arrogant as Even can–"

Silence suddenly gripped the two. Ienzo's lips pursed, his brows moved closer together, and his fingers went up to rub the bridge of his nose. The look Myde was giving him was one of confusion, partly due to the sudden break in speech and partly due to the spite in his words.

"I apologize. It's just a sensitive topic," Ienzo muttered. "I really would rather not talk about the lab at the moment. Tell me about your friends, your music, marine biology, something that matters to you."

Blinking, Myde turned his gaze back to the sidewalk and away from his friend. The tone of Ienzo's words still haunted him and he was trying to think of some topic that could erase the creases on his friend's brow.

"Well, my friends aren't that cool," he began, grinning. "Like, not as cool as you, at least. There's a ninety percent chance at any given time they're off getting into trouble of some sort. I mean, they used to be good eggs, they're not dumb at all, they've just kind of lost sight of what they want to do. Ralene used to have this huge drive to invent some kind of particle smasher or another, allegedly because she just wanted to see what kind of explosion it would make, and she was making a lot of progress, but now she's just obsessed with her boyfriend. It's kind of creepy. But man, they support me! I'm sure I could say I was going to stop eating and subsist solely off of music and they would be there with me all the way, even if it was to finally say 'Dude, eat. This isn't going to happen.'" Myde smiled sheepishly when Ienzo laughed at this, shaking his head. "You might like them, even if they're a bit loud. Oh, this door."

Myde made a sharp right, accidentally bumping into Ienzo but directing him in the process. He fumbled with his key for a moment before pushing the door open and running up the stairs two at a time.

"C'mon, I want you to listen to this song I wrote the other day!" Myde called from the second floor. Ienzo wondered how someone could move so quickly in such a short amount of time, but stopped short of theorizing an algorithm for such a question. He shrugged the thought off and followed, only slightly out of breath when he arrived at Myde's door.

"I hope you don't mind the mess, I haven't had a chance to clean up in awhile," said Myde as he pushed the door open. Ienzo was greeted with a barrage of clothes, music sheets, coffee mugs, and CDs, a mess he would have usually found repulsive. In this case, though, the mess was a natural extension of his friend; Ienzo could already see the small systems running through the piles. Blue clothes were pushed in one corner, books on marine biology in the middle of the room, pants stacked in the bookcase, mugs nestled in the neutrals, sheet music crammed into the trash can, and even more chaotic organization painted across the rest of the room.

"I like it," Ienzo said simply. Myde gave him a surprised look and time seemed to pause.

"I'm glad," replied Myde at last, shock settling into happiness. He picked up his guitar (where did that come from?) and plugged it into a small amp (that was not there two seconds ago), strumming a few chords before sitting down in a plastic chair (it blended in to the chaos!). Ienzo instinctively closed the door and made his way toward the bed.

"Do you mind?"

"Nah, make yourself at home."

Plopping onto the bed, Ienzo watched Myde become completely enraptured in the tune his fingers skillfully picked out. The music flowed lazily through the room and into Ienzo's ears, but when it vibrated off of his eardrums he experienced a peace he would never find in the lab. It wasn't long before he found himself slipping his shoes off and lying down on Myde's ocean-like comforter. This must have given Myde the impression of boredom, because he stopped.

"Keep playing," Ienzo insisted. "It's beautiful."

Myde's laugh substituted for the music of his guitar and Ienzo could almost see the blush on his friend's face. "If you say so. Maybe some lyrics…"

As much as Ienzo fought to hear the words Myde sang, he couldn't, for sleep claimed him along with the notes floating out of Myde's guitar. It was surprising, really, how easy sleep came; usually he sat up for hours contemplating the lab.

The thought made him frown in his slumber.

- - -

"This is my dorm," Ienzo said shyly, pushing the door to his room open in the same way Myde had a week before. Myde was mildly surprised that strict organization and perfect cleanliness didn't meet his eyes; rather, papers were strewn about and coffee mugs abandoned, notes were tacked to the wall, and what looked to be a graph made purely of string was being constructed above the desk.

"I'm not surprised," Myde laughed, striding over to the desk and inspecting the graph, which wasn't a graph at all. Rather, it was a crude bulletin board littered with newspaper clippings and outdated coupons. "You would be a packrat."

Ienzo huffed. "I am not a packrat."

Then you won't mind me throwing away this three year old coupon book?" Myde teased, dangling the said book over the trashcan.

"It was a gift," Ienzo insisted, snatching the book up and putting it back on his desk. "I don't throw away gifts." When Myde raised a challenging eyebrow, Ienzo huffed and distracted himself by straightening a stack of papers, only to knock them all over.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath. Hopefully the pages weren't in some kind of order; he couldn't remember.

"Ah, look what you did, Ienzo!" joked Myde, smiling and patting his friend on the back. He bent down and picked a few sheets up, a particular sentence catching his eye on the lineless paper. It was underlined in red ink and the letters were elegant and stoic, obviously penned by Ienzo's careful hand.

Proposed ingredients of a heart: Pulse, fear, hope, despair, and memory.

Then, tiny and hard to make out, an annotation:

Simple and foolish. Impossible; reject.

Myde blinked for a moment, his own mind trying to form a list of what it would consider the ingredients of a heart to be. Before he could truly comprehend the task, the paper was being pulled out of his hand.

"Research?" he asked carefully. Ienzo cast his eyes to the page and sighed.

"Yes. At the beginning of our experiments we polled a group of scientists asking what they considered the ingredients of a heart to be," muttered Ienzo in return. He thumbed through his papers until he found another underlined section. "'The ingredients of a heart are as follows: light, darkness, and a human shell.' Any fool could have come up with such a vague explanation. What of the soul? The emotions? Do light and darkness constitute feeling? Then, 'A heart is the product of opposing forces within a being.' The same! They're all the same."

Ienzo's eyes darkened with frustration and he angrily shuffled the papers before slapping them onto the desk. Surprised by this sudden outburst, Myde could only move a comforting hand toward his friend's shoulder. Ienzo did not shake it off.

"I–I thought you were studying the effects of darkness on the heart, not the heart itself," Myde said, voice tinged with apprehension and confusion. He glanced at the papers and noted that they were dated a few years back; now he knew his answer.

"This was our preliminary research; after all, you must understand what you're studying before you add in outside stimuli." Ienzo straightened up and shook his head, periwinkle hair falling into a strange array of organized chaos. With a disgruntled sigh, Ienzo's hands flew up and combed it back into place, long strands once again framing his face while unkempt bangs still flew this way and that across his forehead. Myde chuckled at this rare display of vanity and gave Ienzo a friendly rub on the head.

"Hey–!"

"Ienzo," began Myde, words careful, "I still don't think it's a good idea for you and your peers to be messing around with the heart in such ways. Your own hearts might be consumed in the process, whatever that entails."

With a soft sigh and a shake of his head, Ienzo gave Myde a wary look. He knew that Myde only meant to look out for him, but the musician just didn't realize the weight of the research. If they discovered a way to purge the heart of darkness– to control the darkness of hearts–they could purge entire worlds (because of course there were other worlds; there had to be) of it and bathe the universe in light! Steely eyed, Ienzo turned toward Myde and fisted his hands.

"We have to. I have to find a way to make this world better, to bind darkness and keep the shadows away, because if we don't they'll come and destroy everything. I­­–we­ won't let that happen!"

A cool silence filled the room, prowling between Ienzo and Myde with a calculating rush. Somewhere in the distance, a bell tolled what Myde could only think to be an ominous note. He suppressed a gulp and fought to smile.

"Just promise me you'll be careful, okay?" he asked, mortified that his voice was barely more than a whisper. "I–I'd rather not lose someone who's become such a great friend."

Ienzo moved to pick up his heavy black satchel, nodding as he hoisted it over his shoulder. "I promise, Myde," he replied, a smile gracing his face. "I'd rather not lose this friendship either."

"Wha–"

Another silence passed as Ienzo pulled Myde into a hug, but this one was warm and lighthearted. The tickle of Ienzo's breath on the side of Myde's neck made the musician shiver and before he could register all of it, Ienzo was pulling away walking toward the door.

"That bell means it's time to get to the lab," he was saying. "Are you working tonight?"

When Myde didn't respond, Ienzo gave him a confused look and asked his question again. Then, "Myde, are you there?"

"What? Oh! Yeah. Yeah, sorry! I got…distracted. I'm working. I'll see you tonight then?" Myde mentally kicked himself as he exited Ienzo's room, turning to watch his friend lock the door.

"Of course. Good bye."

While Ienzo turned and walked down the hall, Myde took the stairs. Both turned to glance the other out of the corner of their eye, but neither saw the other do the same.

- - -

"My liege­­­–"

"Ienzo, do not address me with such formality. What brings you here in such a rush?"

"Ansem, sir, I was hoping to reinstate my request–"

"–to build a new lab in the castle? Don't get such a sour look on your face; people will always cut you off when you're redundant. What are your reasons this time, Ienzo? Did Aeleus spend a few extra hours training? He's already as large as a house."

A pause, then a laugh.

"Come now, we've no room for such offended looks. Tell me what your reasoning is."

"My–Ansem, sir, I believe it is dangerous to continue our research considering our proximity to the denizens of Radiant Garden."

"A well-thought thesis."

"The next steps in our experimentation require contact with darkness itself, as you know, and it worries me that there is a possibility of it infecting the people of Radiant Garden if some kind of accident were to happen. By relocating into the basement of the castle, we would minimize the chance of…infection."

"And what of my reluctance to continue this experimentation? How will you convince me that it is unnecessary?"

"Sir, if you have hope for the future of your people, you will continue this experiment. By understanding the heart and darkness within the heart, we will gain the ability to cure the world of evil. It's idealistic, yes, but completely plausible; look how close we already are! I want them to be safe. I want to do good for them. Unraveling this mystery will give us all the power to do that. Don't you want a future like that for your children? Your children's children, even?"

- - -

When Ienzo entered the coffeehouse that night, Myde immediately noticed the dark circle under his eyes and the weakness of his gait. In less than ten hours, Ienzo had gone from healthy and upbeat to looking like an insomniac.

"What happened to you?" Myde asked, gaping. "Dude, let me get you an espresso or something, you look like you went through hell."

"Thank you."

Myde blinked as Ienzo sat down and stared blankly at the tabletop, his mouth muttering voiceless words as his brow knitted together. A whir spiraled through the room as Myde opted to make a cappuccino instead on the basis of they were a little more fun. When Myde sat the cup down on the table, Ienzo jumped.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to–"

"No, it's fine. Thank you. I wish I could stay, but I would only get scolded more," Ienzo answered back, the last words bitter in the air. He rose in a fluid motion and his hard gaze softened at Myde's confusion. "I convinced Ansem the Wise to build an underground laboratory in the castle and Xehanort demanded we begin it today. So if I'm not around, I apologize. I don't see why they want me to help build…" Ienzo's words turned into inarticulate mutterings as he walked toward the door.

"You're pretty scrawny," Myde called behind him, smiling. "I don't see why they want you to build stuff either. I mean, yeesh. You'll probably get in their way anyway, so you should just stay here!"

There was a pause before Ienzo turned around, smiling. A slight laughed permeated his lips and he returned to his abandoned seat. Myde now sat across from him, all smiles and sea eyes, ready to get away from the bore of work and dark of night. Ienzo idly sipped his cappuccino.

"So, if you didn't study psychology, what would you study?" asked Myde after a moment's peace.

"Linguistics; the origin of words, specifically. Semantics, syntax, and the like have never interested me. What would you study?"

"I'm studying the two things that excite me most now; I can't really fathom wanting to know a lot about something else, to be honest. I guess education would be cool, though." When Myde looked up, he saw that Ienzo was dozing into his fisted hand, eyes fluttering between wake and sleep. "Hey, come take a nap on the couch back here. I don't want you falling asleep on some street corner or under a giant marble block or whatever the heck they use to make things in the castle."

Myde rose and helped his friend to his feet, slinging one of Ienzo's arms around his shoulders to keep him from slipping to the ground. They slowly made their way around the corner and to the break room, where a plush couch rested against a slightly chipped wall. It only took a few moments for Myde to clear his things from the couch and he searched for a blanket while Ienzo lied down.

"You really are tired, aren't you?" Myde said quietly, words intended for the air around him. He tugged a blanket from the top shelf of a bookcase and unfurled it over his slumbering friend. "They shouldn't overwork you like that." Myde gave Ienzo's head an affectionate rub before turning to walk out of the room.

As he went to flip off the light, Ienzo mumbled something.

"What? I couldn't hear you."

A slightly irritated sigh reached Myde's ears and he had to hold back a laugh as Ienzo struggled to turn over on the couch.

"Stay," he muttered before dropping his head back into his pillow. Myde blinked at the request and was suddenly torn; Mrs. Potts' was a twenty four hour store, but…

"Hold on."

As Myde went about locking doors and turning off lights, he couldn't help but smile; he didn't really know why. He scrawled a note out and taped it to the door: Will return at 6AM. After stepping back to survey his work, Myde ventured back into the break room and sat on the floor, back to the couch. He tugged a tiny bit of the blanket around his shoulder and peered curiously at Ienzo; he looked troubled even in his sleep. A cough broke the expression, though, and Ienzo turned over once more, an arm looping awkwardly over Myde's shoulders.

"Night, Ienzo."

- - -

"You mustn't slack, Ienzo. Do you want the whole operation to dwindle and die because of you?"

"Don't be too hard on him. Ienzo has never really had a friend outside of the lab; allow him this one bond."

"If Ienzo devoted more time to research then–"

"He has never missed a session before; none of us can attest to that. Leave Ienzo be. Let's go check the progress of the lab."

- - -

A/N: Ugh. Agh. Ogh. Ogh? Oh well. Uh, yeah, that's that. Review!