Naruto's Ninja Handbook

The shinobi have their rules…and Naruto has his. The difference? Well…pretty much everything. Slight Crack! Fic, Drabble-ish

Disclaimer

The Naruto Cast does not belong to me, they belong to Kishimoto Mashashi.

Anything that does not belong in Naruto belongs to me, unless said otherwise.

Key

Rule Shinobi Rules

Rule Naruto's Rules

Shinobi Rule #1: Do not draw attention you yourself

Naruto Rule #1: Wear the most obnoxious, eye-catching clothes. This makes you not only the prime target for attacks, but it also has a high possibility of making you a main character of the series known as 'Naruto'.

Shinobi Rule #2: Do not be loud; be as quite as possible

Naruto Rule #2: Always be loud. Always. This helps draw attention to yourself. (See Rule #1)

Shinobi Rule #3: Always assess what's going on before jumping in to battle

Naruto Rule #3: Jump right into the fray without even bothering to check to see what's going on. This guarantees best chance of success.

Shinobi Rule #4: Blue Eyed Blonds with whisker marks are annoying

Naruto Rule #4: Blue eyed….Hey….Wait a minute!

Shinobi Rule #5: Respect your superiors

Naruto Rule #5: Call old ladies 'baa-chan' and old, perverted men 'Ero-Sennin' at all times. Turn your nose up and ignore all those you think are idiots.

Shinobi Rule #6: Do not steal anything that does not belong to you, especially sealed scrolls.

Naruto Rule #6: Steal a sealed scroll so you can learn an S-ranked jutsu, and then later use said jutsu to beat the crap out of your traitorous sensei.

Shinobi Rule #7: Shinobi are tools to be used

Naruto Rule #7: Shinobi are their own person, and have the right to choose what they want to do, or don't want to do.

Shinobi Rule #8: Eat things that could benefit your body and improve your performance.

Naruto Rule #8: Ramen is the healthiest thing on the planet. Always eat ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. An added variant is having a drink of expired milk you're your ramen breakfast.

Shinobi Rule #9: Do not show your emotions; Shinobi are emotionless

Naruto Rule #9: Always show emotions; without them, you are an empty shell, an emotionless being that no one enjoys being around. (Like Sai…)

Shinobi Rule #10: The mission is always the most important thing; it must be completed at all costs, even if it means sacrificing your comrades.

Naruto Rule #10: The mission is the second most important thing besides your comrades; those who do not complete their missions are trash, but those who do not look out for their comrades are even worse than trash.

Hey, if you want to add a rule to this list, let me know in your review! However, it HAS to be able to be contradicted by Naruto. Credit will be given in the disclaimer, as I will be constantly updating this if anyone helps with the rules.

Constructive Criticism and Compliments welcome. Flames and Spams will be laughed at.

Tropi