"You said you were going to air this show next week," sneered Wesker to Kenichi. "Been a pretty long week, hasn't it? More like nearly two years!"

"Yes," piped in Chris, sat cradling his half eaten gun. "We've been sat in this studio while that Emilee stares at us gormlessly for two years thinking of questions!"

"We're starving!" shrieked Sheva. "You haven't let us leave for food! It's a good thing Wesker has survived so well, his body has been eating its own fat! Us on the other hand…" She had grown a rather respectable beard in the two year period.

"I got me some questions!" spluttered Emilee who had finally found them after rifling through the paper work.

"…we hate you…" whispered Wesker, his eyes narrowing. "All the KFC I've missed out on. All the sequel games we could have been in…"

"Does Kenichi need to slap a bitch?" asked the director. "The more you moan, the longer it takes."

When everyone had finally settled down, Emilee took her place in a high chair opposite them, pulled out the papers and cleared her throat.

"Right, First question is to Chris… um… 'why are you such a… r-retarded hulk?'" her voice quivered on the last word. It was okay for the people who had sent the questions in, THEY didn't have to face the retarded hulk in question who was trying to shoot the floor with his half eaten gun, and failing miserably.

"Hulk! I'll show you hulk and retarded! Grrr!" He ripped open his shirt, to reveal pale, fleshy skin stretched over bone as a result of not eating for two years. He beat his chest and ended up cracking a rib. With a sob he fell to the floor. "I… guess the answer is… I wasn't dropped on my head as a baby, but they did use me as a basketball."

The only noise that could be heard was Chris's sobs and the sound of squeaky leather as he rocked back and forth.

"Ahem, the next question is for you Sheva… 'I pity you for putting up with him...then again, how come you don't learn to shoot properly? I mean well, your AI.' "

"Huh? Who said that?" asked Sheva, who was walking into the wall. "I'll find you eventually, just let me follow your voice." She maneuvered her way around the walls, knocking over ladders and lifting them back up, moving Chris's seat even though he was about to sit back down and using a whole health spray on Chris's tiny bruise which caused an outrage.

"I see. Well, next question…" Emilee swallowed nervously as she looked at the paper. "Is for Wesker. Why are you… Kenichi, you read it!"

She stuffed the papers in the directors' hand who read aloud the question without fear.

"Why are you such a douchebag? Something we'd all like to know, hmmm."

Wesker's jaw dropped open, his face turning as red as his eyes.

"Douchebag? I'll douchebag you, you douchebagging bagging, bag for life! The proper term is ASSHOLE. GET IT RIGHT."

"Then, why are you an asshole?"

Wesker handed Kenichi a stack of papers titled 'Obligatory and cliché reasons why villains are such arseholes, part one.'

"Part two to forty-four are in my locker," he said as the director started to thumb through the papers, looking for the perfect excuse.

"I like that one," Emilee pointed to reason number twelve. "They are so sexually frustrated and annoyed that they can't wear a ladies dress in public, they want revenge on the world."

"Meh… mummy issues, bullied as a kid, dead parents, dead wife and kids, fell into some acid. These are all good, but Wesker is a dangerous asshole, we need something a bit more…Ah here we go!" He passed the page to Wesker and told him to read aloud.

"I'm an ass because one day I was browsing my emails and someone had sent me a chain mail. It said if I didn't pass it on, my mum would die, my dad would die, my house would burn down, my dog would be sick in my shoes and I wouldn't be kissed by my crushed! Obviously I didn't pass it on and all of that happened. From that day forth I swore to avenge my mum, dad, house and my shoes and assumed everyone I met was responsible for the chain mail!"

His eyes grew large and teary as he sunk to the floor whimpering about how he missed those lovely shiny shoes.

"Right, well…" continued Emilee. "Now we have that cleared up, next question is again for Wesker… if he's up for it…" he had untied his shoes and was glaring at them, hissing, "You'll never live up to my old shoes. Never!"

"Anyway… Wesker, have you ever had fleas?" there was no response for a few minutes, so Sheva spoke up on his behalf.

"They tried getting on him once. But… have you SEEN how much hair gel he uses! They got their little leg stuck and decided to commit suicide. The flea kingdom knew not to attempt to even infiltrate his hair. Nothing can. Look-"

She pulled out a grenade launcher and some fire rounds. Aiming for Wesker's hair, the air became engulfed in flames for a few seconds. Everyone was expecting the blonde to be completely bald but his hair didn't even have a scratch or marking.

"It must have its own force field," said Sheva, pocketing the grenade launcher. Wesker seemed unfazed by the attempt of arson, so Emilee continued.

"Chris, this ones for you," Chris sat up like a puppy who had just heard 'walkies!' and started panting happily. "We all know you're gay for Wesker, why don't you just admit it?"

"Excuse me?" spluttered Chris. "Gay for We-? Errr, who is 'we'? I'd rather be gay for a lady, I uh, mean, I love boobies! They are fine! I don't like Wesker and his smoldering sexy body, his slicked back shiny hair, his large muscles, his voice that makes me melt….mmm…" there was a ping near Chris's crotch and he jumped up and threw his arms forwards. "Y U NO BELIEVE I DON'T LIKE ME SOME WESKER!" Struggling with his trousers, he rushed outside trying to not be noticed.

"Good grief," said Kenichi, massing his temples. "I asked them if I could work on the Mass Effect set, but Capcom begged and begged, even watched me shower until I said yes… Seriously. Anyway, let me ask the last question." He took the papers off Emile and turned to the blonde on the floor.

"So, Wesker, will you have my babies?"

Wesker looked disgusted. "YOUR babies! Eww! Why would perfection like me mate with something like you!"

"Not ME!" yelled Kenichi waving the paper. "Whoever asked this. Look, she left her phone number." He handed Wesker the paper. "The girl on there!"

Wesker glared at the paper for a while. "This isn't a girl! It's a piece of paper! And, if it wants my babies, where do I put my pork sword to impregnate it?" he started tearing a hole in the middle of the paper muttering aplhabetti spaghetti and how to heal paper cuts on your private parts.

"Oh, for crying out facepalm," said Sheva facing away from Wesker with his new papery girlfriend on the floor. "I just had to work with idiots. One of the only good examples of a woman in a video game and they stick me with a bunch of idiots… I could have been in Hollywood by now."

Emilee looked towards Kenichi with a grimace. "Sorry about… er, this. I didn't think it would go this bad…"

"Bad?" Kenichi raised an eyebrow. "Wesker is trying to get it on with a piece of bloody paper, Sheva thinks she's on stage in Hollywood and has started singing 'I dreamed a dream' …I don't even want to know what Chris is doing, but I'm questioning the stack of Yaoi I found in his locker and the rest of the cast has died from starvation! This is one of the best days I've had in a while! And the best part is, it's home time, fuckers!"

He grabbed his bag, beamed at Emilee and sauntered out the studio. Emilee looked at everyone else who had not even noticed it was time to leave and chased after Kenichi. She had another few questions to ask.

"So, I heard from Capcom they're planning a resident Evil 6 soon, and you're in charge!" She thought this news would please him, but instead his face paled and he looked out into the distance where he could see the executer having a cheeky fag, next to his massive axe. He dashed frantically down the corridorr picked up the executers axe and held it about his head ready to make himself into Kenichi sushi, a manic expression on his face.

"Resident Evil 6? THAT!"

It's over! I'm so SO sorry it took me so long to update. I haven't been in the mood to write anymore but I want to finish off all my stories for anyone who might be still reading them.

I feel awful for making everyone wait T.T Forgive me and I'll bake you some cookies. :D

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and reading the story as a whole. *sniff* we've come so far. I remember when you were all knee high to grasshoppers on our first day, now you're all fine young men and ladies! XD

Thank you so much to all my readers and reviewers. I'm glad there's someone out there who finds my retarded sense of humor funny. :P You probably won't be hearing anything else off me, but keep an eye out just incase. I'll still be reading and favoring stories, so I'm looking forwards to any future stories you may be planning!