Animosity

Lesson Three: Body Never Forgets

His heart was pounding as he stared at the concrete wall in the Underground Terminal, certain that this was the wall Neku Sakuraba had fought so hard to save. It didn't look all that interesting- just grey concrete and some weird black graffiti. Kind of similar to the mural in Udagawa, but much more pronounced, though the black had long since faded to grey.

You can still go back. The wind had started up again, ever so softly, singing Sakuraba in his head. He could still turn around, go back to his old life playing cards with friends, listening to music, watching Ishida skateboard with little Mina yelling for him to watch his head, doing algebra problems on warm evenings with Risuna as she talked about sewing this and embroidering that- there was still time to forget it all.

He pushed his headphones closer to his ears and let the white noise surround him for a moment. You can still go back, he thought.

Sakuraba, the wind said.

"Hello?" There was no-one around- the last train had come through an hour ago. He took a deep breath. "If this is all some giant joke, let me know now before-"

The wall, which before he was so certain existed, suddenly vanished. It was as though it had served as a solid illusion; as though the wall was less a physical and more a mental construct. He felt lightness in his head as he stepped into the hallway.

It was so quiet his breaths seemed to take up more space than his body. He walked carefully, quietly, wary of the piles of trash scattered at almost random intervals. After a while of keeping his head empty he suddenly became aware of the sound of water running- it became louder and louder until he stumbled upon the legendary Shibuya River.

"Shit," he said, suddenly awed. He lowered his headphones off his ears and onto his shoulders to let the sound in. It wasn't tumultuous, but steady, and pulsed with a rhythm that was like- like something. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes and he sunk to his knees. Why, after months of hearing Sakuraba, was it all just to lead him here?

"Beautiful river, isn't it?" He turned around; there was a man, neatly decked in Pegaso, standing behind him. "Shibuya River, I mean."

"Uh," said Kousuke. The man seemed familiar. "Do…I know you?"

"Sort of," he said with a grin, rubbing his chin with one hand. "In more ways than one. Name's Hanekoma. Pleasure to meetcha."

He shook the offered hand. "Listen, Mr…H." He never was good with names. "I have…well- um. You see, uh-" Nice, Kousuke. How elegant.

"So you're him, huh?" Mr. H tilted his head. "Never figured you'd have dark hair, but I suppose reincarnation doesn't deal with little things."

"S-sorry?"

"Take a walk we me?" There was a bridge over the river he was absolutely certain wasn't there before. "I've got someone who'd like to see you."

It must be Neku Sakuraba. His head hurt from the thinking and from the noise, which had slowly grown in intensity- an all-consuming pounding, like the steady beating of his own heart. "W-what do you know about Sakuraba Neku?" He had to shout just to hear himself.

"Hmm? No need to shout."

"But-"

Mr. H stuck his hands in his pockets. He was, by far, the most naturally intimidating person Kousuke had ever met. "-Unless you're hearing it. You must be farther along than we thought."

Kousuke stopped. "That's the thing," he said. Mr. H turned around, a half-curious expression on his face. "One day I start hearing a voice. The next day I'm having seizures from looking at graffiti, and then I'm looking up dead people in archives, and now I'm walking through some kind of weird sewer with a person, no offence, that creeps the crap out of me, and you're telling me about reincarnation and pretending there's no noise when there is." His nails dug into his palms from clenching his fists. "What the fuck is going on?"

Mr. H said nothing, but turned towards a concrete wall in their way and moved his hand as though he was going to open a door in it. And then there was a door, and he turned back towards Kousuke.

"Last stop, Dead God's Pad," he said. "Welcome home, Phones."

x x x

Kousuke Mimura was not Neku Sakuraba, but he was pretty damn close. Joshua could see it right away, as Sanae dragged the little kid in- same shuffle, same headphones, same aura. Sure, the reincarnation hadn't gone smoothly, but Joshua was ready to deal with dark features. Not every kid in Japan was going to have blue eyes, and not every kid in Japan was his Neku.

x x x

"This is the one, Josh," Mr. H said, and shoved Kousuke into the middle of the most bizarrely located (and bizarrely decorated) bars he had ever seen. The room was empty but for a kid about his age lounging on one of the couches, with silver hair and violet eyes-

"Joshua," he breathed, falling to his knees. Oh, God, it was that kid from before, from in his head, with the smirking and the gun and the shooting and he'd seen him before, a long time ago- looking at the mural, reach out and touch, the sound of someone running and then good night Neku, it's time to destroy Shibuya.

"Hey!" Someone was shouting from far beyond his blurring vision. "Shit, we're losing him again! Shit! Someone-"

x x x

"It's you, then," Neku said to him in a dream.

"Huh," replied Kousuke.

"Yeah." The Neku who stood before him wasn't the twenty-year-old he had seen on file or the seventy-year-old who had died, but someone who could have been him if he tried hard enough. "Listen. A lot is about to be thrown at you, but you're going to have to deal. It's how we all grow as people, right?"

"Uh," said Kousuke.

"They've been waiting for you- and me, I guess- to come back ever since I died, and now that you're here I'm going to move on. I'll leave you with a bit of me, 'cause otherwise you're a fish on land. Oh, and by the way." He turned, and began to walk towards a place Kousuke knew one could never return from. "Joshua's an ass. Don't let him trick you into thinking otherwise."

There was a flash of light, and Neku Sakuraba disappeared.

x x x

"Easy does it, Kou. You've just had an epiphany. How d'you feel?"

"Been better," he said. He lifted his head off the couch and slowly moved himself to sit upright. The bar, which had previously been empty, was now full of Reapers crowded around him- he just hadn't been able to see them before. "Sorry for yelling at you before, Mr. H."

"Not a problem. I don't hold grudges against people who don't know better."

"Which reminds me." He moved the headphones over his ears. "I have some friends- Risuna and Ishida and his sister Mina- that you guys might be interested in."

"In time," came a voice from beside them. Joshua was working his way through the throng, Reapers moving aside to make room for him. He flashed a smirk. "I'm just glad to have you back, Neku."

x x x

It took some quick thinking to explain his new brilliant blue eyes to his classmates, and even he took his time before he knew for certain who was a Player and who was a Reaper and who wasn't part of the Game at all. Ri backed off a little at first, but after a while though she didn't understand she could accept. She never spoke with Shiki the way Kousuke had with Neku, but she did visit the Underground Terminal every once in a while- after all, she had a job with Mr. Mew now, and it was taking up most of her time. Ishida and Mina, on the other hand, declined the invitation and kept their distance. Kousuke had enough of Neku's memory to understand why.

He did eventually accept the role of Conductor after a couple of months observing the Game, and Joshua seemed to find it hilarious that it only took seventy-odd years to convince him to do so. Yeah, Josh was an ass. But Kousuke wasn't Neku, not entirely, so he could handle one effeminate Composer a little better.

Risuna passed away in time, just like all mortal people do. Kousuke had lived long enough to understand that sometimes reincarnation softens you a little bit. And hey- destiny's bigger than any sort of animosity.

Fifteen years don't take all that long to go by, anyway.

Miiii saaaaa kiiii

x x x