Disclaimer: do not own Transformers.

Rating: T

Summary: G1 AU, oneshot. The thing was that one of them could spend your entire life with you, but in the end, you would just be a one-night stand. Many cross-species, one-sided, selfish pairings implied.

Characters: Sparkplug Witwicky, Spike Witwicky, prominent mentions of Wheeljack and Bumblebee.

Pairings: Implied Sparkplug/Wheeljack, Spike/Bumblebee, mentioned of Carly/Ironhide, Raoul/Tracks, Chip/Prowl, Astoria/Powerglide, implied a few unnamed human OCs with a few unnamed Autobot and Decepticon OCs, that whole shebang.

Author note: So many wacky pairings…This should be crack. Why isn't this crack?!

Also: One of silvane91's bunnies…again DX

One Night Stand

The engineering lab was a very tense place to be. Sparkplug and Wheeljack were working on something, side-by-side, almost like any other day. However, the two "friends" no longer had a sense of familiarity, and the words exchanged between them were merely professional and decidedly cool. After a while, Sparkplug excused himself, and Wheeljack didn't even look up from his project.

Spike, who had been feigning disinterest in the hallway, gave Carly and Chip an uneasy glance. Carly nodded at him, mouthing Go talk to him, and pushed him gently towards his father.

He found him just outside of the base, leaning against the walls and looking up at the stars. "Hi, Dad."

Sparkplug gave him a forced grin. "Hey, son."

"Dad, about you and Wheeljack…"

Sparkplug chuckled mirthlessly. "So you know about that?"

"Dad," Spike said, giving his father a tired look. "They knew weeks before Chip and Prowl officially got together and they knew the instant some of the 'Cons showed interest in those military test pilots. So I think everyone knows about your conversation by now." He sighed then, rubbing his eyes tiredly—one of the mannerisms that he learned from his father at an early age. "Dad, I'm not that eight-year old kid anymore. If you want to get into a new relationship, well, as long as you're happy…"

"It's not that, son," Sparkplug said suddenly. "Don't think I don't know you. I know you'd be ready."

"Well…then why…?"

"Why I rejected him?" Spike blinked in surprise at the wording, but nodded. Now it was Sparkplug's turn to sigh. "Son? Remember…that time…when you caught me with that woman?"

Spike started, eyes widening, and looked away almost immediately. He hadn't expected his father to bring up such a subject. They hadn't talked about it, hadn't really settled the matter…it was one of the many demons in the Witwicky attic. Spike had gotten home early one day, roughly a year after his mother passed away, and had heard noises from his father's room…

Spike had spent two months living at Chip's place while the unfortunate mediator tried to get father and son to reconcile. All in all, it was a period in their lives that both of them would rather forget.

"Dad," Spike started, but Sparkplug was already looking into the distance, continuing.

"You called me a weak, sick, pathetic old man."

"…Dad…"

"But you were right." Sparkplug turned to look at his son, who was more than a little baffled. "And it's because of that that you—that both of us—should understand this situation better than anybody." Sparkplug gave another tired sigh, and an almost pitying glance towards the entrance of the Ark. "Look at them, Spike. People see the 'Bots and even some of the 'Cons getting together with weak, pitiful humans, and they rejoice. They think that it's proof that we're like them—that we're valued by them that way. But they don't see that all we are is just a band-aid fix…a one-night stand, is all."

Spike was a bit shocked by the bitterness in his father's words, and at his silence, Sparkplug continued. "What's a human's lifetime to them? It has all the value of a single night. And the way I see it is…They're hungry, son. They're hungry, and desperate, and…and just plain lonely. They're fighting over here while their significant others are holding down the fort over on a distant planet, and the loneliness is eating away at them." Another long pause, and Spike tried to think of words in the Autobots' defence, but Sparkplug was already saying something else. "I think it's the only reason why the 'Cons are in on it too. They're here, fighting too, and they see another opportunity for…for pleasure, I suppose. To satisfy their hunger. It's a passing fling to them, is all."

"But those are the 'Cons, Dad," Spike said. "The Autobots…they actually do love us, Dad."

"Yes, they do," Sparkplug answered, almost sadly. He squinted now in the light of the setting sun. "Just not that way. There's a difference between love and hunger, son, and sometimes one overrides the other when it shouldn't."

"Well…what about 'Jack? Do you love him that way?"

Sparkplug ignored the pointed question, answering only with, "He'll get over it." Sparkplug paused for a moment, and then continued. "He has a partner waiting for him over on Cybertron, you know. Almost all of them do."

He was looking at the skies again, and in the distance they could spot Powerglide, probably returning from a visit with Astoria. "You know that Powerglide has someone—I think her name's Moonracer—waiting for him back on Cybertron, right?" Sparkplug said. Spike just nodded. "I told her, too. That girl needs to know, because to put it in the crudest words possible, if it ever comes down between the love of a poor little rich girl and the love of his own spark-mate, we all know who Powerglide is going to go for in the end. He's pledged to be Astoria's partner for the rest of her life…but in the end, she's just a one-night stand, as we are."

"And you know what she told me? She told me that she knew. She knew—but that she'd make it one night that he'd never forget." There was a pause, and then Sparkplug continued again, more softly now, as though talking to himself as much as he was talking to his son. "For some people, one night is enough for forever…but it isn't enough for me."

Spike looked at his father, and then looked away again when he realized that, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't deny his father's words. He realized then that, had seen it, of course, the almost desperation that the Autobots had looking for human company, and he had ignored it, because…it disgusted him.

Carly and Ironhide, Astoria and Powerglide, Raoul and Tracks, Chip and Prowl…The Autobots did love them. Just not that way. And though many Autobots were accepted, many were also rejected, and now Spike knew why. It was selfish of the humans to withhold their affections, just as it was selfish of the Autobots to ask them of such. And as much as he loved Wheeljack, Sparkplug wasn't obligated to give himself to that hunger.

And as for those who willingly went into such relationships...they were either deluded, or worse, that they knew, each of them, that morning was rapidly approaching.

"And here we stand," Sparkplug continued, so softly now that Spike strained to hear his words. "Here we stand, perhaps as the only beings who can give them that sense of fulfillment that they're so missing. And it's either to give yourself over to that hunger, or watch them starve the rest of your days. It's a terrible choice, Spike, and may you never know that pain."

They sat in silence for a while, father and son, and then Sparkplug left to continue working in that lab where he was both invited and unwanted.

Eventually, Bumblebee wandered over, asking something of Spike, and somehow the boy realized that he didn't like the way that Bumblebee was looking at him—optics all bright and desperate. And just as that thought entered his mind, a little voice inside his head asked him, Is one night worth it?

He closed his eyes, looked away, and said, "No."