I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while but I'm here now! Thanks for the reviews Jest, Remy and Julih! I see I've gotten many hits that means people are reading but not reviewing…:pouts: oh well.
Chapter 3: To Love or to Hate
I usually sleep in until late afternoon on a Sunday but today I woke unexpectedly from a slight touch to my shoulder. I opened my eyes suddenly; my vision slightly blurred ,even though, within the darkness of my room I could still make out the white hair, and obsidian eyes that could belong to only one person.
"Near?" I said sleepily.
"Did I wake you?" he whispered.
"Obviously" I sat up, shivering slightly. "What time is it?" I asked searching blindly for my clock. "4:00…I think." he replied blankly. My eyes narrowed. "Are you serious!?" I sighed dramatically, plopping my head back on to my pillow. I pulled my blanket over my head. Near gently tugged the blanket. "What!?" I angrily poked my head out of my cocoon. "….."
"You said if I ever needed to- never mind." he ended swiftly heading towards the door.
My eyes widened in realization.
"Oh I-wait!"
"Its ok." he closed the door to my surprise quite gently. He didn't sound upset, but with Near who would be able to tell? I stared silently into the darkness surrounding me and sighed frustrated.
I should hate him.
I need to hate him,
Because if I don't I might start feeling something,
Something I shouldn't be feeling towards him.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got to class early despite the rude awakening earlier, and I arrived mentally prepared for any challenge that may be thrown at me. I was now back on course with my goal fully reinstated to its former position: Defeat Near and take your rightful place of first in line to succession.
I stared briefly at the white haired boy sitting only a row away from me his attention fixed solely on the board ahead of him. Look at him, trying to look all high and mighty. Mind you Near was slouched in his chair looking at the bored as if in a minute he would fall asleep but that did not concern Mello. I continued to stare, at his hair, at his skin, the movement of his childlike eyes and the undeniable pout to his lips I rested my chin upon my hand and lowered my gaze to the smooth beige surface of my desk. Why am looking at him? I need to focus so I can become better than him. I opened my ears to the teachers words but It was futile, I couldn't concentrate. My mind was helplessly consumed with thoughts of Near.
The bell rang and I jumped out my seat somewhat eager to get a hold of Near. I followed him out the door into the crowded hall, down the corridors. I wanted to say something but I couldn't, I wanted to stop him from walking away but I couldn't. Something was preventing me from doing so. I swallowed a couple times, my nervousness had caused my throat to dry. Why am I nervous?
I outreached my hand ready to catch Nears attention.
"Ne-"
"Hey!" a high pitched voice called out from behind me. I turned then glanced back. I lost him. Sighing I addressed Linda with my most uninterested tone of voice.
"What do you want?"
" Notes!" she said cheerily. I gagged inwardly. There was this one part in biological psychology I didn't understand to well or at least didn't agree to well with.
"What part?" I inquired hoping my inquiry would get her straight to the point and this conversation ended with.
"Well mostly on the topic of hate. You see I think hate is the imitation of love."
"What?" I said a bit taken aback by her statement. "Why do you think that? I was now curious of her opinion.
"I mean…to me" she hesitated. "Hatred is self-chosen bondage to another in order to give meaning, structure and connection to a fragile self." I looked down at her in thought as she continued.
"The lie of hatred is that it can connect a person with others as love does, without risking love's vulnerability and heartache." she laughed childishly. "I guess you can say hate's dirty little secret is that there is pleasure in destruction.
"Sooo I need your notes so I can understand this concept a little better."
"Yea sure." I agreed slightly impressed as I searched my notes.
"I have to say I wasn't expecting something that wise to come from you."
"Hey just cause your on the top list in brains in this school doesn't mean the rest of us are completely incompetent." she retorted sticking out her tongue as she took my notes.
"Yea, yea well you got me thinking which is a first on your part."
"Meanie."
"Yea? How do those notes feel? Good?"
"Yup!" she answered happily skipping away.
"You better hurry or you'll be late to class."
I stared after her retreating form before a small smile slowly crept upon my face.
Hatred? The imitation of Love? No way.
What a stupid idea.
Love is completely different from hate.
Completely…
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Classes didn't end until late-mid afternoon causing a stifled yawn to escape me as I exited my last class.
"I'm beat." I said tiredly to an equally exhausted looking Matt at the entrance to the Main house. "Same here" He said immediately pulling his gaming device out his pocket. How ironic.
"Didn't you just say you were tired?"
"Never to tired for video games."
I rolled my eyes "Of course".
"Anyway, I think I'll sleep a little before dinner, so I'll be up in my room."
" I want to come to."
"Where?"
"Sleep with you." he said staring at me seriously. I stopped standing as still as a statue.
"Ha-ha I was just joking!"
"Oh.." I rubbed the back of my neck embarrassingly.
"Man, you take everything so seriously."
"Sorry"
"its ok"
"I'll wake you when its time to eat okay?"
"Alright."
I got to my room with nothing in particular in mind of what I should be expecting. I mean one would expect their room to be in the exact peace they left it in, and all was in such peace of course all but the bed I was to take my short nap upon. For a small pale skinned boy had decided to intruded onto this space and I found him sprawled over the surface of my sheets.
"What are you doing here!?"
"I was waiting for you?"
"Why?"
"Because you were following me today." I felt the blood in my veins rush to my face.
"No I wasn't."
"You was, he said calmly getting off my bed. And I want to know why."
I wasn't following you. I hate you."
….."
"That wasn't what you said yesterday."
"Yea well today is not yesterday."
…."
He gazed emotionlessly into my eyes.
"Your right." he answered, heading past me. I pinched my nose frustrated.
Just let him go."
"If you let him go that's it."
"You can go back to hating him all you want."
"The door's opening."
"Make your choice"
Near stopped feeling a hand grasp his wrist. He turned to Mello a hint of curiosity reflected in his eyes.
"Wait." I said calmly pulling Near back into the room.
"I... want you to stay." and with that I slowly closed the door behind us.
Is hate really the imitation of love? I guess in this case...it maybe.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What the hell? What did I come up with? Nex chapter is going to have to be a lemon dont you think? i pretty much set it up that way hehe And just because he asked him to stay doesnt nessesarily mean he choose love him Imma tell you right now, this is going to be the most strangest relationship every had by man, a true love and hate union. Well what you think? REVIEW please I need inspiration to write!
-PhiloSophe