Four bound together to make this place
A home that even they could not disgrace
Working hard with just one thought
Perhaps respectability could be bought
So try me on and perhaps we'll see
Which founding freak is most like thee
She never liked to be alone
Or to figuratively feast on just one bone
She worked so hard at the oldest profession
That a priest exploded at her first confession
Had a knut and looking for fun?
Then off to Helga you would run
Never a bridesmaid and never a bride
Rowena behind large books would hide
Alone in her room she would often "study"
A large cucumber was her only buddy
But she did find what she did like
Now she needs a man like a fish need a bike
He was brave and bravest drunk
His halitosis could kill a skunk
Six foot six and yet short in "stature"
"Little" Godric jokes were no laughing matter
Though wet spots on his bed were rare
His drying rag soon will sit on your hair
Lubricants and fangless snakes
Were what odd Sal did like to make
To snakes he'd talk yet they'd not reply
Their mouths were always full is why
In breeding he made some strange selections
Yet his offspring win near all elections
Long ago these fools did vie
To get something right on the first try
Brains-in-a-hat they thought would work
For one more duty they could shirk.
So put me on and we'll pretend
Your House actually matters in the end
Brains and beauty here do best
Leaving work and toil to the rest
Fiercesome battles or brave cause
Give those here a moments pause
Like to read and run away?
Then into Ravenclaw you will stay!
Have a strong back and a weak mind?
Here your fellows you will find
Lack the stuff between the ears?
You're among friends, have no fears
Let others plot and fight the fight
In the Hufflepuff herd you'll feel just right.
Simple in thought, charge straight ahead
Complex schemes from your mind have fled
Brave in battle and quick in bed
Six feet under you'll soon rest your head
Thinking makes your head hurt so
So into Gryffindors you will go!
Cheat them once and betray them twice
Taking advantage is very nice
Just stay out of Azkaban
No family reunion, that's the plan
Power and riches with little work?
Then into Slytherin another jerk!
Every house has its own tradition
Each one a separate path to perdition
Get up here quick, don't say a peep
Lets get this over, I need my sleep.
(Note: "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." -Gloria Stienem)
A home that even they could not disgrace
Working hard with just one thought
Perhaps respectability could be bought
So try me on and perhaps we'll see
Which founding freak is most like thee
She never liked to be alone
Or to figuratively feast on just one bone
She worked so hard at the oldest profession
That a priest exploded at her first confession
Had a knut and looking for fun?
Then off to Helga you would run
Never a bridesmaid and never a bride
Rowena behind large books would hide
Alone in her room she would often "study"
A large cucumber was her only buddy
But she did find what she did like
Now she needs a man like a fish need a bike
He was brave and bravest drunk
His halitosis could kill a skunk
Six foot six and yet short in "stature"
"Little" Godric jokes were no laughing matter
Though wet spots on his bed were rare
His drying rag soon will sit on your hair
Lubricants and fangless snakes
Were what odd Sal did like to make
To snakes he'd talk yet they'd not reply
Their mouths were always full is why
In breeding he made some strange selections
Yet his offspring win near all elections
Long ago these fools did vie
To get something right on the first try
Brains-in-a-hat they thought would work
For one more duty they could shirk.
So put me on and we'll pretend
Your House actually matters in the end
Brains and beauty here do best
Leaving work and toil to the rest
Fiercesome battles or brave cause
Give those here a moments pause
Like to read and run away?
Then into Ravenclaw you will stay!
Have a strong back and a weak mind?
Here your fellows you will find
Lack the stuff between the ears?
You're among friends, have no fears
Let others plot and fight the fight
In the Hufflepuff herd you'll feel just right.
Simple in thought, charge straight ahead
Complex schemes from your mind have fled
Brave in battle and quick in bed
Six feet under you'll soon rest your head
Thinking makes your head hurt so
So into Gryffindors you will go!
Cheat them once and betray them twice
Taking advantage is very nice
Just stay out of Azkaban
No family reunion, that's the plan
Power and riches with little work?
Then into Slytherin another jerk!
Every house has its own tradition
Each one a separate path to perdition
Get up here quick, don't say a peep
Lets get this over, I need my sleep.
(Note: "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." -Gloria Stienem)