Chapter 25: Reach

Sometime when I dream of you, I dream that you are up above. I am looking up at you, and you…that's what scares me, I am not sure if you are looking back at me…

Maybe you aren't. For maybe you are looking ahead, up at the sky. That is what I fear. I fear that if you are looking at the beautiful clouds, the azure sky in my dreams…

Then it means that I mean nothing to you now.

Isn't that so selfish? I know I've always been. For something as pure as your heart shouldn't bother with something as tainted as me. I've- and still do- reminded myself every time that you are light, and I am darkness. And so, because darkness dies when light shines…

I am nothing in your world.

But you are everything in mine.

You are my world.

Then…how ironic is it, that my world is something I cannot reach?

For in my dreams, you are always too high above me. Too far from me to be able to reach out to you and pull you closer.

This I am certain about, but it cannot be confirmed. For in those dreams…

I never try.

I never try to reach you, not because you seem too far.

But because I am afraid that if I were to reach out to you…

You would not do the same.

--

Summer nights felt so long.

That was the thought that echoed in his head as the town clock rung with the moon peering from above. And that constant ache he had been enduring for more than two weeks now- though it felt like months…he was starting to be familiar with it. But it was at this time when the weight of solitude turned into daggers.

Like every night since, he stood under the tree with the near-white blossoms bright above him. He stood there. Remembering. Waiting.

For what?

For with waiting, you can only wait if you know something was going to return. But he, he knew that what- who- he needed would never forgive him. He deserved it. He deserved to stand alone and cold like this, with the longing and regret weighing down his shoulders. It was selfish to even want her back.

But still, he hoped.

"Sasuke." A voice softly called behind.

His chest felt lighter and hid breath quickened. He turned

But the image in his mind faded. The pale-rose hair replaced with platinum blonde. The fresh-mint eyes disappeared under aqua blue.

The ache silently washed over his chest again.

"Ino…san."

She must've seen how pale his face was, or maybe how tight his voice was. It was getting harder and harder to hide his pain. Was he that obvious now?

"Is there something wrong Sasuke?" No, the way she said his name…it wasn't the same.

Her blue eyes, framed by her long hair glowing a light-gold in the silvery light, showed genuine worry. She came closer to him, bringing her head to his chest. He lightly held her as he silently continued to watch the sakura dance in the wind.

He felt her nuzzle deeper into the cloth of his coat and then murmur something.

"Did you hear me?" She lifted her face from him and looked up.

He realized that she had asked him something and looked down.

"Our wedding preparation is tomorrow." She repeated quietly.

With the moonlight glowing on her delicately pale skin, he could see how happy she was. A pang of guilt washed over him. For what she saw on his face would never be the same expression he was seeing on hers. And all this he was doing for her…it would always be fake.

She was pretty. And perhaps he would've liked her when he first arrived here, or at least grown to love her. Maybe he even would've been able to return the smile she gave him now.

She deserved someone else. But they had no choice, right?

"Ne, Sasuke?"

"Hn?" he looked at her as she sleepily laid her head back onto his chest.

"I love you."

He watched the cherry blossoms dance by.

--

"What do you think of this, Sasuke-denka?"

He looked up at the ribbons, rich in reds and fringed with flowers, that were tied overhead high on the walls. They were bold and bright, compared to the white purity of the church.

A ribbon fell on his head, a maid gasped and apologized frantically until another servant crashed into him with a basket full of flowers in his hands. He only gave a curt nod and walked off, only to have more people crash into him.

"That looks wonderful! I can't wait until tomorrow!" Ino gushed to the maids that were arranging the flowers in the front. The large window of stained glass poured lights of turqoise, lime, and cherry to the deep Venetian red carpet and gleamed over the petals.

He rubbed his forehead. The scent of roses was too strong for him. And their seemed to be not enough air in the church hall to keep over a hundred people content. At least…not enough air to keep him happy.

His head felt heavy, and he could not think clearly. Whenever he tried to think of something else, it would always go to the marriage.

Tomorrow, he would be married. To Ino.

And to be married…would that mean…

Forever?

"Sasuke?" He heard her call out. "Where are you going?"

"I need some fresh air." He mumbled. From the shouting and the orders from the servants, she probably didn't hear him.

But he left anyway.

The fresh air in his lungs, cleaner and lighter, did him no good. There was still that sickness in his stomach. And the light breeze seemed too cold, while his body felt feverishly hot. But the worst was his chest.

It still hurt.

He found himself in a field of gravestones, extending far into the forest that framed the church. A sea of gray stone, marble, granite, glossy with intricate gold poems and names carved on them. He never had visited the village church. He was never the religious type. But now, as he saw the elegant gravestones surrounding him for the first time, he realized how ironic it was.

This church belonged to the village. For them to pray, hope. But these names on stone…they were not the villagers. Not the thousands of villagers who have died of starvation.

They were of the royals.

He must've spent half an hour searching for their names. Uchiha Mikoto. Uchiha Fugaku.

And it was when he wandered into the forest path when he realized he wasn't alone.

Among the polished stone was a figure. A girl in a dress, with her back towards him, in front of a simple wooden cross that did not belong. She bent down and placed a bouquet of flowers, whispered something and then stood.

He noticed that she had long rose hair.

It blew in the wind that passed between them. The end of her satin crimson gown picked up and ruffled.

She had noticed him too.

"This was the best I could do for him. I visit him everyday now too."

Her voice was like the wind, chilly and brisk.

"I never got a chance to teach him how to use a longbow."

He tried not to flinch at her accusing words. They stung.

"Sakura-

"Why are you here?" The sharp tone cut right through.

"I…" Trying to say how sorry I am…to ask you to forgive me…

But why should she?

He was too scared to ask.

"I'm getting married tomorrow. To Lady Ino of the Yamanaka House."

"Congratulations." Her voice didn't seem the least bit happy for him. She didn't seem to care.

Perhaps that was the one thing that hurt the most.

"It wasn't my idea, I didn't want to. It was an arranged-

She gave a harsh laugh. "What? Like you think I'm actually sad? You think I still want you back? After all you did?"

"Look, it wasn't my fault-

"And so what? What if it wasn't?" She gritted. "Naruto's still gone!

"Nothing you do can bring him back!"

"I didn't mean for it to happen. Trust me!" He shouted. Why wouldn't she believe him? How could she possibly think that his emotions were lies? He shook, and gathered the courage to yell.

"None of it was a lie! I loved you! And…

"I still do."

She stayed silent. And after a few moments, she did something that hurt him even more.

"I don't need you.

"I never did."

She seemed so certain. Maybe it was true. She didn't need him. But still…but still…

"Just…please…" He begged. "I'll…I'll do anything…"

"Of course you would." She said softly. "…as long as it doesn't risk your title. As long as you keep your family happy.

"Why don't you just finish me off right now?"

His chest turned to ice. The thought of it turned him cold. "I would never do that."

Her voice turned fiery, her fists shook. "And why not? Your family had no problem betraying my parents. You had no problem ruining my life! If it weren't for the Uchiha, I would have parents! I would have a home!

"You already know who I am. I'm Haruno Sakura! The survivor of the family the Uchiha killed twelve years ago! And you…

"You're Uchiha Sasuke. A weak, lying, backstabbing, Uchiha!"

And maybe it was just him. But he swore he heard a hint of desperateness, or maybe even sadness when she said.

"Don't you get it? We can never be together!"

"It doesn't matter-

"Go away. I don't even want to hear your voice anymore. You mean nothing to me."

"Sakura-

She shrieked.

"I said, go away!"

He did.