Disclaimer : Sadly I don´t own Monk

Note : This is set somewhere during Season 3-7, Natalie´s there and Stottlemeyer is divorced

Even before Leland Stottlemeyer knew exactly where he was, he could tell this was an uncomfortable place, which was comfortable at the same time, strangely enough.

Or maybe he was just the one being uncomfortable.

The question yet to be solved was, why ?

At this thought of solving things Monk immediately popped into his mind.

The Captain would have laughed hadn't he instinctively sensed that the vibration of his laughter would hurt like hell.

He tried to open his eyes, but found himself unable to.

Too exhausted…

Drifted the words through his mind.

Next he tried to move something else, anything, just to calm himself down by proving that he still was alive and not stiff and buried in a coffin.

To his utmost relief his fingers and toes responded to the silent command.

Seconds later he regretted his actions as a wave of pain rushed through his system.

He seemed to gain more consciousness as more pain mingled with the present, just created one.

Now that he was more awake he was finally able to open his eyes.

White blankets covering him and white walls to all of his sides were his first expressions.

I'm…in a hospital ?

Memory pieces flooded his mind.

There were people..and shoots…so much noise..

He slowly started to remember.

We'd been on the heels of these bastards when…when they tricked us…lured us into an ambush…

..but..how did I get out of there ?

Just in that precise moment no one else but Lieutenant Randy Disher entered the former deserted room.

He looked troubled, even Leland could see that from the distance with his eyes half closed. But it wasn't the kind of troubled look you have when you are in panic. No, this one had already entered the next stage.

Randy was beyond simply worrying. He was that worried that he obviously had trouble sleeping and standing still in one spot for a longer amount of time.

And it also seemed that his worry robbed him of his ability to recognize if the person in front of him was asleep or not.

With a long sigh Randy sat down in the chair next to the Captain's bed and gave him a very concerned look without saying a word….for now.

Then suddenly, after what seemed like five minutes of hard thinking and considering the pro's and con's, the words were gushing out of Randy's mouth, his face and the expressions on it no longer under his control.

"I am- I am so sorry, Captain !" He semi-cried out, his arms flying around whatever he could reach of Leland´s body in a desperate attempt to hold him apologizing without crushing him and thus waking him up.

Even though the grip Randy had on his hand, Leland dared not to move or say anything. Meanwhile the younger cop had broken out into uncontrollable sobs that were shaking his whole body through and making him tighten the hold he had on his boss´s hand, as if it was his anchor, the only thing to still keep him in reality.

Here and there a high-pitched, tearfilled "Sorry !" could be heard.

After what seemed like another two minutes Randy slowly regained control over himself again, ending this sobbing tirade with an awkward squeak, a mixture between a suffering sigh and the too early attempt to speak again.

"Sorry for that." He apologized again, blowing his nose with one hand and still refusing to let go of Leland´s.

"But,...it´s..it´s just-" Randy stopped, squeezing his eyes shut.

Stottlemeyer almost jumped when he felt something wet on his hand.

His lieutenant had started crying, yet he was trying his best to keep his voice even as he said the following.

"It´s just that I almost lost you....you know ?"

Randy hugged him again, though this time as softly as if the Captain was made out of glass.

"...and I couldn´t bare to lose you..." Randy whispered, his voice filling with tears anew.

A little reluctant the cop stood up, but turned one last time before he left the room.

A smile was playing around his lips, his whole appearance suddenly shy - a stark contrast to the events that had just taken place.

"Get well soon, Leland.....I love you." He added, blushing.

Then he went out for good, silently closing the door behind himself.

Stottlemeyer just lay in his bed, frozen in shock.

He had endured the crying and the hugging, but three little words now left him speech- and thoughtless.

On the edge of his hearing and also consciousness Leland was able to hear Randy say something about pain relievers to a nurse.

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