Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade or any of its characters.

Warnings: Shounen-ai – boys' love, AU, some drinking, not re-read (I don't really have the heart to do that and make the story much longer)…. Usual stuff, I think.

Pairings: Tala/Kai, Bryan/Kai, mentions of Rei/Kai

A/N: Well, hello there… another chapter is here, I'm sorry it's a little bit shorter than usually, but I needed to end it there otherwise it would be way too long. *grins evilly* .

Thanks to all kind people that reviewed, I'm really thankful to you, you know. You made me feel that this thing is worth writing after all. *hugs all the reviewers*. Alright I won't bother you any longer… go on, read and enjoy^^.

~~**~Lost Past~**~~

Tala turned to stare at the youngest Demolition Boy.

"What do you mean he came to Spencer?!"

Uh-oh… Ian really didn't like the glare that was sent his way.

"Just what I said… Kai came to see Spencer." When Bryan's glare joined the redhead's Ian gulped down and decided that maybe if he'd tell them the whole story it would give him a little more time to live – and maybe he will even have enough time to be able to write a goodbye letter to his lover?

"I was just returning with Spencer up to our room from our date and we met Kai downstairs – the guy there wouldn't let him up," maybe that would make the two glares at the receptionist and no at Ian? "and well Spencer told him to fuck – off," oh he knew that those weren't his lover's exact words, but… who cared, really, "and he told Kai that he'll take him up – and then Kai said that he didn't want to see the two of you, but that he came to see Spence'. Once up Spencer sent me to your room and told me that I'm not supposed to let you know that he's here… so you really can't go to Kai!" He pressed his back firmer against the door, he didn't want the two to just barge into Spencer's and his room, he didn't want Spencer to know that he was stupid enough to fail his lover's trust, no he would give his life up before that … uhm, okay, maybe not exactly life but… a hand? Left maybe? He was right-handed so he really didn't use it that often, right?

Tala and Bryan exchanged a look. Oh they will kill that receptionist (or at least make sure his life will become a living hell), but that will come later, right now their problem was Kai. How was it possible that Kai didn't want to see them and came to Spencer? Spencer?!

"I guess… we really did mess up before…"

Bryan nodded and was sure that the miserable expression that appeared on Tala's face was mirrored on his own. Maybe the really wanted Kai back so badly that they messed up – forced too much on the younger one probably.

"So… he's with Spencer now?" He asked slowly and when Ian nodded he sighed. "Maybe that's good." Curious blue eyes glanced at him and Bryan shrugged. "If anyone can get him calmed it's him."

Tala blinked and nodded.

"Yeah… we shouldn't go there probably, at least not now."

Ian sighed happily, glad that they finally got it and moved away from the door – only then realizing that it was a mistake, because the door suddenly opened and the two older teen ran out and on the other side of the hall – straight to Spencer's and Ian's room. His eyes widened.

"HEY!!!"

***

Kai sighed looking at his new/old friend. He didn't say much through all this time, he was just sitting on the couch with Spencer, staring holes into the table in front of them and sipping his hot chocolate – second one that Spencer made for him. And he was beginning to calm down, as if he knew this whole feeling from somewhere and he probably did too, he probably spent some times like in the past – from what he saw of Tala and Bryan he must've been troubled by the two of them in the past as well – and even though that the troubling thing wasn't bothering him much, the familiarity and the thought that he didn't remember it, depressed him greatly. And Spencer probably – fuck, he SURE as hell knew from the experience when to give Kai time to himself and not ask anything. The silence between them remained a little longer until Kai put his almost empty cup on the table.

"So… you and the shrimp, hm?" Kai blinked and his eyes widened when he called Ian a shrimp and he quickly looked up to see if he was forced to his defensive state, if Spencer was mad for that little slip. But the older one surprised him by chuckling and then laughing quietly as he looked at Kai.

"I see that spending time with Bryan and Tala has exactly the same effect on you as it had before." Spencer chuckled again and nodded.

"Yeah, me and … Ian." He smiled, his eyes resting on the smaller teen. "It doesn't bother you, right? With the things written about you and that nekojin on your team…" Spencer frowned as he saw the light that took residence in Kai's eyes disappear and the younger boy shook his head.

"Yeah it's… cool." Kai mumbled and his hand reached for his cup again, longing for the chocolate – the excuse to keep silent. He didn't really want to talk about Rei – he didn't even want to THINK about him right now, about the mess that awaited him when he'll return. About the talk, explanations… everything. He longed for the feeling he had just few seconds before to return, longed for the feeling of being lost in time where nothing else than him, his chocolate and the silence existed. No Bryan, Tala, Rei or whoever else (he wasn't even beginning to think about Brooklyn or the pig others called Tyson).

A hand on his shoulder startled him and he looked up meeting Spencer's gaze.

"It has to be kind of freaky." The older boy grinned and Kai chuckled because Spencer COULDN'T have ANY idea of how freaky it really was…. How freaky and confusing it was to realize that he had a past, a past that he could actually like, and a past without Voltaire. And with these guys.

"So… I know you too." Kai whispered in a quiet voice, now sure that it was like that and he didn't even need to see the other nod.

"Not as good as Bryan or Tala, though," Kai didn't bother to interrupt Spencer and point out that he didn't know any of them on the same level, right now, "but I was the one you guys went to when you wanted to talk."

Kai blinked and lifted an eyebrow in doubting expression. Not that he didn't believe that Spencer would be the one he'd talk to… it was the 'want to' part that made the statement so… unbelievable. Not that Kai wasn't here right now – with Spencer, but … That wasn't the question of wanting to talk, because Kai at first didn't even know that his final destination will be here, his feet brought him here on some… impulse – 'habit' , his mind whispered quietly and Kai blinked, disturbed from his musings when he heard a chuckle.

"All right, let me rephrase that… I was the one that FORCED you to talk when it seemed like you needed to let it all out." Spencer grinned and winked and Kai found himself chuckling as that he could understand – and it kind of explained his instinct to come here.

"So? Are you going to tell me or do I have to force you once again?"

Kai looked up at Spencer before sighing and shrugging.

"I'm… not sure if there is something to talk about. It's just that… I'm confused about everything, until now I thought that my whole past was spent with Voltaire, I thought that I was alone and… " He sighed again, playing with the chocolate in the mug, "And now I find out that it's not true, that there was something, something I think I may actually like and… it's-" Kai stopped searching for a right word… what was it like? "It's like… now that you told me there ARE supposed to be some memories, I feel like I know the place where they SHOULD be, I just… don't remember them. Like if there was a mist in the back of my mind containing the memories with you and when I get close enough to find out what they are, the mist just… disappears. You all are familiar to me; I just… don't remember you. It's frustrating." Another sigh escaped him as he leaned back, closing his eyes. "I know I'm probably not making any sense, sorry." He muttered and blinked, when he heard Spencer chuckling.

"Actually you're making a lot of sense." The blonde smiled, sitting closer to him and trying to resist the urge to mess up Kai's hair… "You'll remember sooner or later." He offered smiling.

And Kai gave a sad grin before nodding. "I know it's just… Bryan, Tala… you all – I don't know how am I supposed to behave, I don't know what you expect from me and-" There was a hand on his shoulder that stopped him in his rambling and he looked up to meet Spencer's eyes.

"Kai, no one expects anything from you. Tala can be a bit… intense, sometimes but he wouldn't want you unhappy. Neither would Bryan, the three of you - back then the three of you were a- pack or something; no one could come between you, not even I. And they took the parting really bad, and want you back, want you BADLY back. But they will learn that after you were picked up from the orphanage you had your own life, you don't have to stay with us if you don't won't to, they'll understand."

Kai sighed before looking away… he knew Spencer was right – or at least he hoped he was, but… now he wanted his memories back even more. Because of the way Spencer described it… it seemed like he shared some kind of bond with the two, something he'd like to get to experience again. Or at least remember it.

"Could you… tell me something?" He asked hopefully, looking up at Spencer. Maybe if Spencer told him he would remember? "You mentioned orphanage, Tala and Bryan did too, tell me something from 'back then'?"

To that Spencer sighed and slowly shook his head.

"I'm sorry I can't." At Kai's frown he explained further. "It'd be just a projecting of my memories – you'd just imagined the things how I remember them not you. And we were both viewing the things that happened different, so it wouldn't help you one bit with remembering, it could just confuse your mind even further."

Kai blinked.

"That sounded… awfully professional."

Spencer shrugged as he stood up from the couch.

"I read." At Kai's lifted eyebrow a smile crept on his face. "I read a LOT."

Kai didn't bother to ask him how he manages to with Ian who was probably an attention-whore and instead just watched as Spencer made his way to the door.

"So… do you think you're ready to meet those two idiots without freaking out?"

The smaller boy actually thought about that… was he ready? He knew Spencer told him that they weren't expecting anything from him, but that stupid feeling on the back on his mind when Tala and Bryan shot him that hopeful glance last time, the feeling of not wanting to let them down was still there. And Kai groaned before nodding – it seemed that not only Bryan and Tala will have to understand that Kai had a life of his own, but Kai will have to learn not to feel some… imaginary pressure and try to remember by force.

Spencer smiled.

"Good… because I think we'll see them a little sooner than we wanted actually." The blonde grinned and opened the door – and Kai watched the other three members of Demolition boys stumble into the room…

Kai blinked staring at the three that were sitting on the floor with their eyes wide; staring at Spencer as if they were kids got caught with their hands in the jar with sweets that they weren't supposed to touch. And a chuckle escaped Kai, then another and another and before he knew it he was laughing quietly – and it felt good, so good because the tension slowly disappeared from his body, it didn't really matter that he didn't remember anything if he could just sit there with an almost empty cup of hot white chocolate in his hands, laughing at the struck expression of Bryan, Tala and Ian… that was good enough, for now.

Bryan grinned sheepishly before nodding towards Tala.

"His idea."

Blue eyes widened.

"It was NOT!"

"It was."

Ian sighed before standing up and walking over to his lover, well he was there already, he could as well find out how mad he was…

"I'm sorry?" He offered, looking at Spencer for any sign of anger in other's features. But Spencer just smiled and shook his head, before his arm rested on Ian's shoulders.

"It's okay." The blonde whispered and turned back to look at chuckling Kai, grinning Bryan and pouting Tala… just like when they were kids – and Spencer didn't hope for a picture like that anymore, right now it didn't even look like Kai didn't have his memories and with a blink Spencer noticed that for first time in their presence from the time he returned Kai looked… happy. Sincerely happy.

And Spencer giggled before pushing the smaller boy out of the room – he was smart enough to let the three some time alone… and well if they will be alone that meant he and Ian were going to have some time for them too…

Bryan, Tala and Kai were sitting in the room, the two staring at Kai who did his best to look down and try to stop the occasional chuckles that still escaped him.

The redhead blinked and cleared his throat and when Bryan and Kai looked at him he offered a little grin.

"So… care for a little celebration of the… 'get together'? Spencer should have a vodka somewhere around here…"

Kai looked up at Tala, dubious expression on his face – he knew he couldn't hold his liquor and Rei wouldn't be happy if he knew Kai did drink something without him – and he winced inwardly before something in his mind snapped. Rei didn't trust him enough to know that he wouldn't start anything with anyone while he was still with him so why was he supposed to respect Rei's wishes then? Well and it wasn't like Rei said he didn't like Kai drinking… the nekojin's exact words were something along the lines of Rei not liking Kai going into pubs without him, and well… they were going to stay in the room, right? So no pub… and they probably won't drink much alcohol anyway, really how much of alcohol could two Russians have in their room? And with one of them still being under-aged?

Kai blinked when he felt two pairs of eyes full of expectations on him and he nodded.

"Fine."

Really they couldn't have much alcohol in the room, the hotel wouldn't allow it.

… if he just knew how wrong he was…

***

Bryan sighed as he watched Tala and Kai… damn he really hated it when he was sober and Tala was drunk like that. Well, after this experience he could say that he really hated it when Tala AND Kai were totally drunk and he was still sober (or not SO much drunk) because Kai was currently half-lying on Tala, giggling as the redhead was hugging him close to his chest whispering something into his ear.

The redhead's hand moved from Kai's hip to his ass, groping him and when Kai jumped and blushed, Bryan rolled his eyes, why Tala was ALWAYS a pervert when he was drunk… he really didn't know.

"I gotta- gotta pee." The smallest of them chuckled before standing up on shaky legs and giggled once again as he almost fell down on Tala once again, before slowly walking to the wall leaning on it and moving towards the direction of the bathroom.

And when Tala sat up and licked his lips watching Kai's frame, Bryan had to roll his eyes once again.

"Watch it, Bryan." The redhead muttered. "Watch that tight ass… I'm going to get it tonight."

"It's Kai." The gray-haired boy growled, damn… he really didn't like this and he was sure Tala will regret his words the next morning when he'll be sober.

"So? He likes me." There was a glint in blue eyes as Tala stood up slowly, his gaze predatorily trained on the bathroom door.

A lift of eyebrow.

"And how did you find out that?"

"He didn't mind me groping him."

THAT was exactly the reason why Bryan wanted to be drunk too… so he wouldn't have to care.

"He is DRUNK."

Tala grinned wolfishly and shrugged.

"So?"

Yeah… Bryan really didn't like being sober. He blinked when Tala walked towards the bathroom and stood up. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I told you I'm going to fuck that ass tonight." A chuckle escaped the redhead.

Bryan gripped Tala's shoulder, squeezing lightly.

"Don't – he won't be happy tomorrow and-" and suddenly he was pushed away as angry blue eyes glared at him.

"Shut it, Bryan, you never care so why now!" Damn why couldn't Bryan understand that Tala wanted to fuck someone? And Kai's ass seemed really inviting, so sweet and nice…

Bryan's eyes flashed before he pushed the redhead into the wall glaring at him.

"Because this is Kai. I won't let your stupid drunk ass scare him away, just when we got him back! You know he wouldn't like you fucking him, not now, you heard how confused he was while talking to Spencer! And you would regret driving him away when your idiotic mind'll start working again!"

Tala stared at him wide-eyed and Bryan sighed, relieved. It seemed that at least something that he said got to redhead's brain as the boy blinked before turning away and stuttering.

"I-I think I s-should go… to sleep…"

Bryan watched as one shaky hand ran through red hair and as Tala disappeared in the bedroom – well it didn't seem as Spencer and Ian were returning here tonight so they can as well stay and sleep, and with Tala sleeping Bryan won't have to be afraid of the redhead doing anything stupid anymore… at least that.

He was just about to thank whatever God that was paying attention to him for giving Tala's brain a one sober moment when the door of the bathroom opened and giggling Kai stumbled out, and Bryan looked at him, for first time realizing how good that giggling sounded. He didn't notice it back in the pub when they met first time, but it felt… nice. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch and he frowned – no he shouldn't feel the need to smile, not here, not now… and really the psychopath Bryan Kuznetsov just… didn't do smiling.

But when Kai felt right into his arms mumbling something softly and cuddling to him – Bryan thought about rethinking that stupid law. They weren't in Abbey anymore, maybe… maybe he could smile, just a little? Just a tiny little bit because the body cuddling to him was so warm, and so familiar and it was KAI and Bryan sighed, giving up and letting his mouth smile as much as it wanted… for now. And Bryan even chuckled as he felt Kai's legs giving up under his weight and caught him before he could fall down, and he chuckled again lifting the boy into his arms, pressing him close to his body and looking towards bedroom – before sighing and deciding that it would be better to not provoke the alcohol in Tala's veins and sleeping on couch.

His smile widened when he felt one of Kai's hands fisting in his shirt and his warm burden yawned and snuggled closer – and the thought of how damn CUTE Kai was in that moment filled Bryan's mind as he lowered the boy on the couch. He was sure Kai would kill him if he ever found out that anyone thought that he was cute, but… well what Kai didn't know didn't hurt him, right? And in that moment Kai was really cute – like a small kitten that spent all day playing outside and now returned tired home.

Bryan's hand brushed Kai's locks out of his face and was going to pull up, when he felt the hand on his shirt tightening.

A mumbled 'stay please' reached his ears and he blinked – and before he could think about anything he found himself lying down, next to Kai, hugging him close – he didn't notice blue eyes watching them from the next room, nor did he see the tormented expression on Tala's face as the door to the bedroom closed quietly.

Tala lay down in Spencer's bed, his arms over his eyes as he took a deep breath. The image in the living room was enough to sober him up and he felt a weird feeling in his chest tightening and unreasonable anger towards Bryan seeped into his mind. He shouldn't be this angry at Bryan right? He really didn't have any reason to be, right? And surely not because he was holding Kai like that, right?

He knew, he knew it but that still didn't stop the anger and the stupid green monster called jealousy, but why would he be jealous? He was physically attracted to Kai, he knew he was, but who wasn't? The boy had great body and he was nice too… He knew he was stupid for drinking that much – that his mind was so clouded that he wanted to sleep with Kai when Kai didn't want it. Kai was his friend after all and even though he told Garland he wanted to get Kai it was more because he just wanted to make him stay with them (and as he said before Kai's body wasn't half- bad too), but it was still just the urge to make a friend stay, to find a way to make sure he won't leave them so why-

His eyes widened as his arms fell from his face and he stared at the dark ceiling.

"Fuck… I think I love him." He whispered into the silence of the room, almost begging for something to answer him, to tell him that it was stupid because he didn't love Kai, because Kai was really just his friend and what he felt right now was just a jealousy he felt because it seemed that Kai was warming up sooner to Bryan, but the room remained silent and Tala frowned, knowing it was not true… because if it would be he wouldn't be mad only on Bryan, right? He'd be angry with Kai as well, but when he thought about the smaller boy he didn't fell any anger… only helplessness and longing and that clutching on his heart and he felt like breaking something up (preferably something that belonged to Bryan), before stomping to the other room, pulling Kai from Bryan's arms and pull him into his, bring him close and never let him go…

But… how was it possible for someone to fall so helplessly in love in such a short time? His mind argued with him, giving him hope that maybe, maybe he really didn't love the ruby-eyed angel, but then… the feeling of protectiveness and affection towards Kai was there before too and maybe when they were kids he didn't realize it because his mind was too innocent - yeah, like something like 'innocence' existed in the Abbey, his mind scoffed, but Tala ignored it in favor of figuring out the thing with Kai. He loved him even back then – like a brother, like a second – younger twin because even though Bryan was really important to him, Alexander, Kai was always… Kai. He was always something special – Tala remembered the time when some kid stole one of Kai's fairy-tales book (even though Alexander would never admit it was full of kid stories) and Tala went to take it back, and returned with Bryan holding him up, all bloodied and with few ribs broken (in the end he really needed Bryan's help with getting the book back) but it didn't matter. It was for Alexander and if it was for Alexander – Kai, Tala would give up anything, just to see the boy smile…

…so… he probably loved him back then too. It was just that now… the affection he felt turned into love – and now that he thought about it, he didn't want Kai to stay because of their friends… he wanted Kai to stay because of HIM. He wanted Kai to feel the same for Tala that Tala was sure he felt for Kai…

The decisiveness marked Tala's features as the redhead stared at the ceiling in the dark room.

"I'm going to woo him." He whispered a quiet promise and once again… the silence was the only answer he got. But this time he didn't mind… silence was good – it helped him think, and right now he needed to think of a way to make Kai fall in love with him too, because really he wanted Kai in his arms with the knowledge that he could press his lips against younger boys whenever he wanted without Kai being mad at him.

Yeah… he needed a plan. And first step in that plan will be never to drink any alcohol – never, because the two times they did drink with Kai, Kai wound up in BRYAN"S arms… and that was something Tala didn't want to. He knew he was maybe selfish but he wanted to posses every part of Kai, wanted to make sure that the blader was his and only his.

'And I don't want Bryan touching him like that. ' was Tala's last coherent thought before he fell asleep. If he wanted to make Kai fall in love with him he needed all the strength he could muster, because he planned on succeeding – even if he'll have to fight with Bryan over Kai's affections.

~~**~End of the chapter~**~~

A/N: So? What do you think? Like it, not? Is it worth a review???