"The grinch is in," Cuddy greeted House in front of his office. He ignored her and walked through the glass doors to see his team waiting for him.

"House," Cuddy whined.

"Sorry, didn't see you there, and you are aware that its march." House said with a smile as he returned to the hallway.

"Its not just a seasonal nickname, you must be excited for April's showers, and you heard me but didn't see me?" Cuddy said listing off everything that came to her mind.

"Yup, I'll go talk to my team about it. Maybe they can help," House said with a pout.

"House, it's been a full week and you haven't taken on a patient." Caddy said crossing her arms.

"I've been busy." House answered dryly.

"Playing with your thumbs, because you certainly haven't been in the clinic." Cuddy responded.

"I'll take a patient by the end of the day," House promised. With a smile Cuddy walked away.

"Taub, Kutner go do my clinic duty." House ordered without a hello to his team. Obediently, they marched off. House smiled to himself at how well he'd trained them into subservient little doctors. He wondered if he could order Thirteen to get his dry cleaning.

"What about us?" Foreman asked.

"Don't you have trials to run?" House asked with a roll of his eyes.

"Not right now." Foreman answered.

"In that case, Rueben." House said throwing a ten-dollar bill at him.

"It's ten in the morning." Thirteen scoffed.

"Need my protein, it's going to be a busy day." House said leaving her at the table as he entered his office.

House always found it amusing how people assumed that he hated holidays. Sure, he hated Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, but he loved April Fools Day. While on an ordinary day he enjoyed his pranks and just generally annoying people, April 1st was the day that he took joy in planning, and this year would be special. Everything seemed to be lining up perfectly. Cuddy had a board meeting tomorrow, Cameron had the day off today and was due for her period tomorrow, Chase only had two morning surgeries, Foreman was Foreman, and Wilson was scheduled to get a shipment of medical marijuana. Everyone else, he'd have to manipulate into his plans.

April 1st was just one day away, and he'd already begun to set his plans in motion. He had eight people he needed to tick off: Cuddy, Wilson, Foreman, Chase, Cameron, Taub, Kutner, and Thirteen. He had already set his plans in motion to annoy Foreman, Cameron, and Chase. He had to cross the ducklings off the list first.

For Foreman he would do nothing. He knew Foreman would be waiting for it, especially after seeing a pissed off Cameron and Chase, so he would do nothing. The paranoia and frustration would get Foreman better than any prank could.

For Cameron, he had snuck into her locker to subtly change things around. She wasn't in today, so she'd see bright and early to see that House had switched her Medical Journals with a copy of Penthouse and Playboy. He'd also taken pleasure in switching her small scrubs with extra large ones, and emptying her box of tampons and replacing them with adult diapers.

And for Chase, he'd switched the charts on his hysterectomy and testicular cancer operations for tomorrow. He'd also bribed a nurse to assign him only bowel restrictions after his first surgery, and to page him to do every enema for the next week.

House also knew what he would to Cuddy. Tonight he's sneak onto her computer and alter her desktop, send out a mass email, and maybe put some of her Hawaiian vacation photos into her slideshow for the board meeting to take place tomorrow night.

Now, all he had to do was convince Thirteen to help him with his biggest prank and tomorrow would be all set up.

"Should I just go home?" Thirteen asked appearing in House's doorframe.

"Actually, there's something I wanted to talk to you about." House started. He would need to do some serious manipulation, and Thirteen was a tough opponent.

"Yeah?" she said looking mildly concerned.

"There's been a sexual harassment filed against you. Taub says you've been trying to grope him." House said with a perfectly straight face. Thirteen gave him an odd look.

"Would you like to get him back?" House offered hoping she'd take the bait.

"What are you getting at?" Thirteen said putting a hand on her hip. She'd seen through his ploy.

"Tomorrows April fool's day, and I can offer you amnesty if you help me out." House said bluntly.

"What would I have to do?" she asked smiling slightly. House gave her a smile pack not expecting her to be so keen about joining his plans, and of course he was happy that she'd bought his lie about amnesty. No one was safe on April 1st.

"I want to admit you, unknown illness, high fever, headache, rash," House started. Thirteen nodded.

"You'll get worse tomorrow, and you'll think you're dying. I'll bring in Taub, Kutner, Wilson and basically any one else I feel like bringing in. You'll need to manipulate a kiss good bye. Then I'll casually invite them all to a differential where I mention that I noticed the rash around your mouth was different from the one on your neck and you tested positive for Herpes." House finished.

"Okay," Thirteen agreed.

"Seriously?" House asked. He had been prepared to offer her a few days of vacation or even a better parking spot.

"Now, how are you going to make me appear sick, and what happens when they 'diagnose me'?" Thirteen asks.

"Make up, and lying. Then we'll throw in some random symptoms to throw people off. I'll throw some blood into your catheter." He shrugged.

"I'm not letting you actually give me a catheter or a real central line." Thirteen said sitting down on his couch.

"Even better, no urine, and I'll only give you saline." House tried.

"I want something in return for the saline." She said biting her lip. House nodded.

"No doing your clinic hours for the next month, assign it to one of the boys, and make someone else make the coffee from now on." She said.

"Done," House nodded, "and no enemas or stool sampling for the rest of my fellowship."

"Deal," House said rummaging through his desk drawer. He stood up and moved to sit on the couch next to Thirteen. Pulling out his Halloween (another holiday he didn't hate) effects kit he began to apply bumps to Thirteen's face.

"Any chance you're allergic to anything?" House asked his hand growing tired by the time he got down to her neck.

"Did you honestly not read my file?" she asked. He shook his head.

"Rabbits and chocolate." She answered.

"You're allergic to chocolate?" House asked. She nodded.

"I feel like its some rule that all female have to love chocolate." House mused to himself.

"Well, I hat hives more than I love chocolate." Thirteen answered.

"How bad are these hives" House asked. Thirteen shook her head.

"Come on, it would save me almost an hour of make up work." House pleaded.

"And you'll be under doctor care." House continued.

"I'll give you ten percent of Kutner, Foreman, and Taub's next bonus', and I mean you're pretty much getting today and tomorrow off." House said. A smile curled on to Thirteen's lips.

"I'll be right back." House said exiting the office. He came back moments later with a Hershey's bar from the vending machine down the hall. Tossing it to Thirteen she took a bite, and set the bar down.

"Take a few more." House prodded.

"Give it a minute." She replied annoyed, but soon her neck and hands began turning red.

"I want anti itch meds." She added.

"Done, now look all tired like you just passed out. I'm going to call for help." House said noticing Foreman approaching with his sandwich.

House stood up and leaned out the doorway, "Foreman come quick."

Foreman ran over. Dropping House's sandwich on the desk he came to look at Thirteen who was lying on the floor. Her eyes fluttered open.

"She passed out, and it looks like she's spiked a fever. I'll admit her, you take her into an empty room." House yelled trying not to smile. Everything was going so well.

Foreman lifted her into his arms and House followed him to the elevator. Arriving downstairs, Foreman found an empty room while House started a chart.

"I'll take her temp." He said picking up a thermometer. He pushed it into Thirteen's mouth. 98.6 flashed a few moments later.

"101.1" House lied, quickly throwing the thermometer away. Foreman wrote it down, and alerted the nurses.

"How are you feeling?" Foreman asked Thirteen.

"Ehh," Thirteen grumbled. House looked over at her. Sure enough she was covered in hives as well as the fake mouth rash.

"I'll take blood, get the team back together for a differential and meet me in ten." House snapped. Foreman nodded and ran out. Thirteen looked up at House and smiled.

"Twenty bucks for some blood," House said reaching into his pocket. She stayed quiet for a moment contemplating the offer before nodding. He went through the drawers to get a needle and took two tubes.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go taint these. The nurses will be in to do all that patient-y stuff that I'd be able to explain to you if I ever saw the patients. Anyhow, tell them you only want me to start you on a central line and do the catheter. Also they'll give you some corisol cream." House said.

"Sounds good," Thirteen nodded taking Houses money and slipping it into her pocket.

House smiled as he walked the blood up to the thankfully empty lab. After inserting the herpes virus, and throwing in some extra platelets, he headed to his office to see Kutner, Taub, and Foreman waiting. This was going to be fun.