Damn tired, not really sure what all I wrote, if ya don't like let me know an I will take it down an try again.

Chapter 4 – Crazy Lamborghinis

"Almost makes a Lamborghini kind of cute when they do that."

Inferno yanked his hand back from where he'd been caressing Red Alert's spoiler and blinked up at Ratchet. He smiled sheepishly as the sound of Red Alert's systems purring from his attention began to wind down. "Um… what about cute?"

Ratchet grinned as he ran a portable scanner over the offline Security Director's back. "I was referring to Red Alert's purring. As glitchy as he may be, he is still very much a Lamborghini."

Inferno frowned as the comment immediately brought back Red Alert's last words before falling into stasis lock back in the woods. "I am a Lamborghini." He looked down at the red and white mech laying peacefully on the repair berth before him. "What do ya mean very much a Lamborghini?"

"Those with frames compatible with the human Lamborghini design, AKA Lambos" Ratchet flicked Red Alert's spoiler for emphasis resulting in an involuntary twitch from the mech, "are very sensual creatures; proud too. Personally I think it's why every last one of them seems to be half a click shy of being… oh what's the right word? To borrow a few human sayings… an egg shy of an omelet, the elevator doesn't go to the top floor, the starting gate is open but he's still asking directions, and my personal favorite…the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead. You follow?"

Inferno blinked at the medic again unable to formulate a response. "Uh… so how's he doin'?"

Ratchet folded up the portable scanner and leaned against the repair berth. "Well, he's one lucky son of a glitch. If that shot had entered his back plates a mere two inches higher we'd need a new Security Director. Oh, don't give me that look, he'll be fine. The new coolant pump and energon conversion unit I've installed are doing their job. The other minor repairs are also holding up so long as he takes it easy. I'd love to kick him out of my med bay when he onlines but I don't think he's going to cooperate; fragger never does." Ratchet leaned down closer to Red Alert's audio and raised his voice. "Because some mechs seem to think there is no such thing as taking it easy or light duty or anything that does not involve working their aft into the ground."

Inferno narrowed his optics and frowned. "Give the poor mech a break. There's no need to…"

Ratchet straightened and fixed a glare at the fire truck. "If you want to remain in my med bay I highly recommend you not finish that sentence."

Inferno glared back for a moment then turned his optics away in defeat not wanting to leave Red Alert's side. He ignored Ratchet's smug look as the CMO turned to input the recent scan results onto a datapad. He was jolted upright when a loud bang echoed across the room as the med bay doors slammed open.

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Red Alert felt good. Correction, he felt fantastic. He was warm, comfortable, and something was causing the spoiler on his back to radiate these amazingly pleasant tingles throughout his entire frame. He was well aware of the fact that he was unnaturally offline, a fact that should have had him in a panic; but he couldn't bring himself to care as he continued to give in to the sensations his body had not felt in a long, long time. And then he felt a vibration through his frame as if something had crashed nearby.

"Hey Ratch! Sorry to intrude but Sunny an me got into this fight and now I can't move my left arm so I kinda need a…"

Good feelings gone. Red Alert mentally twitched at the shouting voice. Fight? Red Alert's glitch suddenly kicked into high gear completely drowning out everything else. Intrude? Intruder?! Decepticons! They must have knocked me offline! I've been captured! They won't get anything out of me! I'm taking as many of them down with me as I can by Primus! In a feat most medical experts would have deemed impossible, Red Alert booted all of his systems up…at the same time. Quick as lightning, his optics unshuttered and he leaped forward with a terrified scream. "Noooo!! I'll tell you nothing you Decepticon filth!! You hear me?! I am no easy spar-ack!!!" His legs swung forward as he was halted in mid air by something grabbing his collar then slamming him down onto the floor. His back hit the ground with a loud crash sending all the air in his intakes rushing out and effectively stunning him.

Ratchet released his grip on Red Alert's collar moving his hand to rest on the Lamborghini's chest. "Great. Barrel of high grade says I'm going to have to re-fix something I just fraggin' repaired!" He slowly raised his head to glare up at Sideswipe who flinched and took a step backwards. "You just had to open your fragging mouth didn't you? Why are you even in here?! If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, when Red Alert is offline in the med bay you do what Sideswipe?!"

Sideswipe looked down at the floor and muttered something under his breath.

Ratchet narrowed his optics and hefted a wrench. "I can't hear you!"

"Keep quiet and maintain a minimum distance of one hundred meters."

"Very good, now were you quiet?"

"I guess not."

"Uh huh and how close were you?"

"Aw come on Ratch I was just…"

"I said how close was your sorry virus infested slag heap of a processor?!"

"Ummm, I dunno, twenty meters maybe? But Inferno was…"

"Inferno was helping to calm Red Alert! You couldn't keep Beachcomber calm with altered high grade energon goodies and a Grateful Dead concert!"

"What is Grateful…?"

"Inferno, move Red Alert to one of the private recovery rooms. This won't take me long." Ratchet began walking towards Sideswipe who began wisely inching back towards the med bay doors. "I hope you've made your peace with Primus because you have about thirty seconds left on this plane of existence."

Inferno, ignoring Sideswipe's sudden yelp, kneeled beside Red Alert on the floor. "Red? You ok?"

Red Alert cycled his optics and tried to focus in on the large red blur hovering over him. "I really hope you are Inferno because I don't have the strength to try resisting again."

Inferno smiled and gently slid an arm under Red Alert's legs and shoulders. He easily carried the smaller mech to one of the private recovery rooms and placed Red Alert front down on a repair berth. "How's yer back?"

"Mmph" Red Alert mumbled into the berth surface.

"That good huh?"

"I woke up thinking I was a Decepticon prisoner, got body slammed by a homicidal butcher of a medic, and now it feels like half my back is being dipped in a smelter. So far, I am going to have to say that I am not impressed with how my day is going."

Inferno chuckled while pulling a chair up to the repair berth. "Ok rough start, but now ya got lil ole me for company. Can't get much better than that."

"Little old you? Inferno you are many things but little is not one of them." Red Alert managed a smile when Inferno laughed again. He loved hearing the fire truck's laugh.

Inferno sat down with a sigh and ran worried optics over the prone form lying in front of him. On a whim he began running his fingers along Red Alert's spoiler again. He smiled when the red and white mech started purring and nearly melted into the repair berth surface. "Feel good?"

"You have no idea." Red Alert turned his head to the side and offered Inferno a blissful smile. "So what did I miss?"

Inferno bit his lip not really wanting to tell Red Alert how close he'd come to losing him. "Ya got shot in the back; probably when ya pushed me outta the way when that seeker dove down on us. I owe ya my life." He paused in his caresses and leaned closer to Red Alert with a frown. "Ya shoulda told me you were hurt Red. Ya scared me sparkless!"

Red Alert raised his head off the berth and stared at Inferno for a long moment. "I don't think it would have made a difference. Besides, what I did with the time instead was well worth it." He grinned at Inferno's expression and placed his head back down on the berth.

Inferno stared dumbly at the Lamborghini with his jaw hanging open. "Worth it? Red! You were shot! How is that worth a kiss?!"

"I said well worth it; and I stand by my statement. I will be expecting more in the future by the way."

Inferno gave his head a shake in an attempt to get his processor to catch up. Exactly how the tables got turned on him was throwing his logic circuits for a loop. "Now wait just a second! Since when did you become the aggressive one? I was the one who planned and…"

"Are you complaining?"

Inferno spluttered like a fish out of water before answering with a strangled "no!"

"Then shut up and kiss me already." Inferno leaped up and had Red Alert engaged in a passionate kiss before the chair hit the floor.