Introduction – Missing

The holidays on the Upper East Side were always a lavish affair, lights on every tree, mistletoe and wreaths spread along Fifth Avenue. This year, a black veil hung over the top of the food chain, it was impossible to forget that Bart Bass would never again buy out a company he killed, and that Chuck Bass was nowhere to be seen.

Up in the Waldorf-Rose foyer, were a few people that Cyrus deemed "extended family" and thus, had to see in 2009 with them. Serena, Eric and Lily, the Archibald's minus the Captain, Jenny on Eleanor's invitation, and Dan on Serena's. The missing ones were Aaron, who stayed behind in Argentina, and Chuck.

Blair sat on one of the perfect cream-colored couches, Nate on one end, Serena in the middle. Serena slouched back, her pain visible, Nate with his head in his hands, but Blair sat primly on the edge of her seat as always. Shoulders straight and back rigid, glass of scotch in hand. She held onto it so tight, that her knuckles were white.

She had refused to celebrate the holidays this year. She refused to celebrate anything until Chuck returned, safe, to her arms. She took a small sip from her scotch, and let it burn her mouth before swallowing. She couldn't drink scotch for shit, she didn't know how, nor did she actually enjoy it, but the taste was familiar and comforting.

On the couch across from hers, Cyrus chatted animatedly with Dan about something insignificant, her mother discussed with Lily and Nate's mother near the window and Eric and Jenny laughed in the loveseat. She was subconsciously tuned into all their conversations – her mind really only on one thing.

It seamed to her that this small get together lasted hours, she longed to tear down the façade, and just lie in her bed till all hours in the morning, tears down her face. She longed to cuddle with Cyrus while watching Breakfast at Tiffany's and let all her pretenses go. She longed to eat doughnuts with her mother while Cyrus read passages from Pride and Prejudice. She thought of how if he were here, her life would be perfect.

She had broken all their invisible rules, she had stepped over that thin line they had created. She had changed the game – or stopped it. Either way, she had lost.

She looked around her, at the people that formed her life, how it all seamed to fit into one room. Somehow amidst everything that was the Upper East Side, the elite seamed to understand and comfort each other. And when one of them fell off the map, it affected all of them. Because no matter what an outsider thought, as the fireworks went off in the background, their was something missing at this soiree. It was subtle, yet the conversation was less enthusiastic, the light was missing from certain eyes, and the smiles were less pronounced.

"So what am I supposed to do now Chuck? You're calling the shots."

Jack Bass had followed his nephew around for two weeks to 13 different locations across the globe. He had discovered him in various states of consciousness and every time, he proceeded to accomplish the mundane task of cleaning him up and stuck him in a hotel and waited.

This time was different, Chuck came out of his room, dressed in a clean and pressed suit, brief case and suitcase in hand, coat over his arm, signature scarf and all. He looked… like Chuck Bass. Except for the hair – he had taken to wearing it disheveled and not slicked back.

"Nothing. I've just made several arrangements that will please you – I would say. I conferenced with the board, and they have agreed to allow you to act as CEO for 12 months – under their complete supervision – at the end of which your job will be analyzed. If you did well, I'll give you the permanent position until I'm ready to take over. As for me, I have a few things I need to do. I'll always have a phone, so I'm reachable, but at a number that only you, the board of Bass Industries, and Lily Van der Woodsen know of. I expect it to stay confidential. If the press asks – no comments and more importantly, if anyone of my friends ask – you know absolutely nothing. You received a letter from me in the mail that only stated details about work."

Jack smiled, very pleased, but still curious.

"And what of the rest of the assets?"

"Everything is taken care of, but in short – it is mine and Lily's. You are welcomed to stay in my penthouse at the Palace, and I don't think you will be pressed for money, seeing as you're receiving the same salary as my father."

Jack frowned slightly, and Chuck glanced at his watch, "I must be going."

He made to leave, but Jack stuck his arm out, "One more thing – why does Lily know of your number?"

"I'm afraid that's none of your business."

It was 6 AM and Chuck was coming from Blair's. He unlocked the front door, and walked into the salon, to find Lily asleep on the couch. She was still dressed, and her head lolled slightly back.

Chuck shook her slightly, and her eyes fluttered open.

"Chuck, your home."

He lifted the corner of his lip, "Not really. I just… I just wanted to apologize. And I wanted you to know that I won't tell anybody, and since I was the highest bidder – no one else will know."

Lily wrapped her arms around Chucks neck, "What do you mean not really Chuck?"

"I… I need to go, to get out of here. I've been messed up for a really long time Lily, and… this family – has been the closest I ever got to normalcy, and I want to thank you for that. But, I need to figure some things out – I need to do it, like you said, for the people I care about. I can't hurt everybody around me anymore. Like I said – I've been fucked up for, forever, and I need to fix some things."

His eyes bore a few tears, much less then Lily's, because the salted water streamed down her face.

"But Chuck… we can help you, we care about you, we are your family, and we can help you fix those things, here at home."

He shook his head, "No. I need to do this by myself."

She nodded, holding him closer; he pulled away to look her in the eyes. "Theirs something I need to ask of you though, a favor."

"Anything."

"I need you to keep an eye on Blair for me. She's a lot more fragile then people realize, and just make sure Serena's there for her. And if anything seems off, you can reach me here, ok?" he handed Lily a folded piece of paper with numbers scrawled on them.

"Ok," she nodded.

She stood to accompany him to the door, "Chuck? She might not wait for you, you know?"

He looked her in the eyes, his no longer brimmed with tears, but they were freely flowing, he chuckled, "People do not give you enough credit for your perceptiveness Lily. Anyways, that's kind of what I'm hoping for, for her. I'm hoping she forgets all about me. As l long as I know she's happy, I'll be okay."

"I'm not, you bring out the best in each other. You wouldn't be willing to change for anyone else."