My heart was pounding as I got out of the car. My legs were already numb. Mimura had brought me to the hospital to see Kiriyama. I was so happy, yet so scared and nervous. When my feet hit the ground, I had to lean against the car to keep myself from falling.
Mimura just told me how he really liked me and didn't like how I liked Kiriyama, yet he brought me to see him.
Mimura, the same guy who used girls, and KNEW he could get a girl if he wanted her.
He was being so... Kind.
We walked together in silence. We approached the sliding glass doors without a word, and finally, with our lips zipped, we walked to the front counter.
A pretty blonde woman, mid thirties, looked up at us and smiled warmly, "Hello, and welcome. How may I help you?"
Mimura spoke.
"We're here to visit Kazuo Kiriyama?" He smirked, and leaned on the counter, holding the ladies eye contact. She blushed and smiled shyly, "Oh course. Let me look through this file here."
Mimura grinned and said, almost seductively, "Why thank you."
In any other state, I probably would have been jealous. In fact, I was. But just a little.
The lady looked through a manila folder, and finally pulled out a paper.
"Kazuo Kiriyama... Says here he's only allowed to be visited by his Father. Sorry you two." She smiled apologetically and slipped the paper back into the manila folder.
I suddenly felt angry.
I needed to see Kiriyama. He probably didn't want to see me, but I just wanted to know if he was okay! Mimura's lips parted, but before he could speak, I blurted, "Is he okay?"
My eyes were wide in worry and I bit my bottom lip. From the corner of my eye, Mimura looked down at me but I couldn't see his expression. The lady shrugged and pulled the paper out once again, "He had undergone surgery yesterday, so he's recovering, and has another surgery tonight. But from the little knowledge I have about the situation, he's getting better. You'll be seeing him again in at least a week or two. Sorry again."
I looked down at my feet.
Damn...
Mimura merely shrugged and nodded, "It's not your fault."
And then we walked out the doors. I shuffled sadly towards the car, when Mimura grabbed my shoulder, "Where do you think you're going?" He whispered in my ear before dragging me back towards the hospital. "Hey! She just said we couldn't visit him!" I growled.
But he steered me around the doors, and towards a bench, where he sat down. Oh course, I sat beside him and shot a glare in his direction, "What's this about? I thank you, I really do, for bringing me here to visit him in the first place, but it's okay that we can't!"
Mimura
nodded, his eyebrows knit, "Ya. And that's why you're crying."
I
scowled and reached up, feeling under my eyes. I WAS.
I didn't
even know that I was crying. That was how out of it I was.
"We're
getting in there, whether that nurse likes it or not. I was able to
sneak a peak at that paper. He's only on the second floor. We just
have to get in there, in room 256. Chi, I know you want to see him.
It's risky, but you have to trust me."
I looked down at my sneakers and bit my lip.
We could get into so much trouble.
"Chisato." He said quietly. I looked up at him with bleary eyes.
"Trust me." He took my hand and squeezed it.
I opened my mouth to protest but closed it again, hesitating before finally nodding.
Mimura smiled, and, still holding my hand, lead me behind the hospital. There was a tall, ugly man smoking leaning against the walls. Mimura flared his nose when the man glared over at us. Mimura and I froze as he leered at us, when finally, he just walked away.
"Uhm, weird?" I mumbled, but Mimura wasted no time before letting go of my hand and quickly walking towards the back entrance. I leaned against the wall heavily, coughing into my hand; cigarette smoke still lingered in the air.
Mimura looked into the long, rectangular window on the door, cupping his hands around his eyes. "Alright. Good. These are the stairs," He whispered, beckoning for me to go towards him. I obliged, and when I was beside him, he quietly pushed open the door. He put his finger to his lips, and I nodded, tip toeing after him. As quietly as we could, we snuck up the stairs when we got to a platform with a door labeled, "Floor 2."
My sides ached.
Curse my unfitness!
I gripped my waist with my hands and Mimura peered into the window before nodding to himself and pushing this door open as well. The smell of anesthetics and new cars hit me, and I wanted to cover my nose. I hated doctors and hospitals, They scared the crap out of me. Along with needles.
Ick…
The hallways were just a little empty, and nobody saw us entering. So, Mimura and I casually walked down the hall. A man in a wheelchair passed by us.
"I'm surprised that it's so empty…" Mimura whispered as we came around a corner.
But before I could even get around it myself, I ran into Mimura's back. He spun around and pushed me back around the corner, "Go, go, go!" He urged, and I immediately started to run. I bit my tongue, trying to hold back the scream that pushed on my shut lips.
We ran back into the stairway, and sat down on the concrete.
"Shinji, what was that about?" I seethed. His looked up, his face screwed up in frustration, "There was a nurse coming from the hallway. We're lucky she didn't see me."
Almost on cue, the sound of high heels clip clopped in the distance.
We waited in silence, and then finally, the sound of her walking died.
Mimura stood up and brushed himself off. "Okie dokie…" He breathed in through his nose then out of his mouth before pushing open the door.
Again, we walked as casually as we could down the hallway, but before we turned the corner, we peeked around it to make sure that the coast was clear.
It was.
Mimura licked his lips and nodded, so we started around the corner again. There was a small sign hanging from the ceiling that read Recovery.
Just as my mind registered the words, my phone vibrated in my pocket.
Mimura's eyes flicked towards my pocket, but I pulled my phone out calmly. He read over my shoulder, but he continued to walk forward.
It was from Yukie, asking why I wasn't at school. I put my phone back in my pocket, ignoring the message.
Mimura and I finally came to room 256, and I felt numb all over again.
I had never done anything like this.
But Mimura seemed perfectly calm and casual as he pressed his ear against the door.
There was a beeping noise in the distance.
The smell was giving me a headache.
There was another vibration in my pocket, and Mimura's eyes were on me again; he looked frustrated. I rolled my eyes and just waved my hand, "I'm ignoring it."
Before I even finished, Mimura started to lightly push the door open. The beeping noise grew louder, so it was obviously coming from his room… it was slow…
And it gave me a sort of calm feeling.
Mim nodded his head and pushed it all the way open, putting his hand on my lower back and lightly pushing me in. My palms were sweaty and my tongue was dry.
I looked down at my feet, almost afraid to see him… afraid of seeing him bandaged and bruised even though he hadn't been touched anywhere else…
I heard the door close behind me. My heart was hammering hard in my chest.
"Chisato..."
I cracked my eye open when Mimura whispered my name, but kept my gaze down.
"We have limited time…" He whispered right into my ear. He sounded a little urgent, but calm.
I nodded and bit my lip taking a step forward and then opening my eyes all the way, looking forward. Kiriyama was laying quietly on the gurney, his face… serene.
My heart gradually slowed down as I took a few small steps towards him. His eyes were closed, and his hair was frayed under his head.. everything about him seemed perfect except for the bandages all around his neck, and the needle in his arm hooking him to the I.V.
I felt myself calming down, and my muscles started to relax. I swallowed and opened my mouth, but closed it again. I was relieved…alls I needed was to see him but… I didn't want to leave yet.
So as I approached him, got closer, and closer, until I was standing right beside his resting form, I found the urge to touch his face becoming near unbearable. I started to wring my hands uneasily, and I glanced back at Mimura, who was standing against the wall, his hands in his pockets. "Uhm…" I mumbled. My voice cracked.
I felt tears forming in my eyes, my surroundings becoming a little blurred.
I felt ridiculous, standing there, rubbing my eyes, holding back sobs.
Why was I such a crybaby? Such a loser?
There was a mumble, and my eyes shot open again. Kiriyama's eyebrow twitched, and his eyes started to flutter open. I froze up.
And then, I was plummeting into the universe. Little sparkling lights dashed around me when I met those dark dark eyes…
But they were different. Black still, but not cold…
He blinked at me, and I wanted to smile. To give him a hug.
"Mat…sui…." He mumbled. At this I had to smile just a little. I was so happy, and so relieved… he was okay. It felt like a heavy object was lifted off my chest, and everything seemed brighter.
But something wasn't right.
His eyes weren't cold and dark, and emotionless… they twinkled, and showed emotions. Like Fear and Curiosity.
"The… field trip… I forgot to… turn in my paperwork.. for that…" His eyes started to close again as though he were tired, and his voice was a drawl.
The Field trip? Oh ya… we were given papers to have signed by our parents….
I slightly grimaced.
I had forgotten to do that too. At least we had till Friday…
"I can turn that in for you if you want," I whispered. It was like I was treating a delicate, baby bird. His head slowly nodded, but his eyes stayed closed, "Could you.. get it from my school bag?" His voice was so light that I had to lean in to hear it. I looked over at the other side of the bed and saw the messenger bag we were all issued in the beginning of our first year in Middle School.
I smiled, and turned to look at Mimura, who looked a little surprised, before walking around the bed quickly and opening his bag. I felt a little thrilled… I was getting to search around in Kiriyama's bag.
He had his folders neatly aligned, and it only took a second or two to pull out the field trip permission form. We were all really excited about the Field Trip. It was a camping trip, taking place at a really cool camping park. It was reserved for our class, and we'd be gone for a week.
I sat up and started to walk around the bed again, when suddenly, Kiriyama's upper half lurched forward. I jumped, nearly dropping the paper.
His eyes were wide and his mouth dropped. I backed up a step, when his bottom lip started to tremble and his eyes glistened with tears.
"G…grey…" He muttered, his whole frame starting to shake. "Go back… t-t-to.. GREY." His voice shook along with him and then, he started to cry.
He sobbed and thrashed in his sheets. Kazuo Kiriyama, leader of a gang, started to CRY. He sobbed, and moaned and sniffed. I was frozen in the spot as I watched him, my own mouth agape. And then, just like the time of the incident in the cafeteria, everything became a blur. I felt Mimura grab me, and we started to run. My head was near empty as we dashed down the hallways. I remember a voice calling after us, along with Kiriyama's moans and sobs in the background. I remember Mimura picking me up and running back to the car, and then speeding off. I was sort of in shock.
Wasn't Kiriyama incapable of feelings? Wasn't Kiriyama unable to CRY, to SMILE, to LAUGH and to even get angry?
But just then, I saw him cry. I saw him look genuinely upset, and break down. I saw his eyes twinkle with a child like curiosity. I heard his usually dark, emotionless voice riddled with some sort of emotion that had never been there before. Why?
Why why why why why why why?
Was it because of his near death experience?
Did something happen that I didn't see?
What made him… change so drastically?
So I sat there in the speeding car, thinking.
Mimura's POV
(I dunno, I just felt like trying something a little new! Tell me if you guys like reading Mim's POV. I'm not gonna change the whole thing into it, I just wanna write about his thoughts and feelings.)
My knuckles were white as I gripped the steering wheel. My heart pounded in my rib cage... my body was numb, yet my muscles tingled. Adrenaline pumped through my system like liquid fire.
I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath. As I came to a stop sign, I looked over at Chisato; her expression was deadpan.
She didn't move. She wasn't moving, at ALL, ever since Kiriyama's outburst…
Grey… what does he mean by, "Go back to grey?"
I started to drum my fingers against the wheel and pressed my foot on the gas, going forward. I glanced at her hands, and saw that she was still clutching the Field Trip form.
I turned mine in last week.
The field trip was in three weeks. End of middle school Bonanza I suppose… Shuuya said he was gonna bring Liquor, and I might as well bring some condoms.
My heart panged.
My lips tightened and my grip became stronger on the wheel. I had sex with girls a lot. I flirted with girls a lot. I liked to mess with girls… a lot.
And even though Chisato and I had grown closer, I still did those things.
Though, I haven't been laid since then, which, in reality, hasn't been that long.
It made me feel bad whenever I flirted with girls now though. It made me feel guilty.
Or when I kissed other girls, it just didn't feel right.
Maybe it was because she didn't cake her lips in lip gloss. Or maybe it was because she had small kissable lips.
But whatever it was, it made everything wrong. I didn't fall for girls. I Never, fell, for girls. They were like tools. Toys if you must.
Putty in the palm of my hand.
So I WASN'T, falling for her. I just had a soft spot for her. I respected her, didn't LIKE like her. I thought she was cute, not bangable. (Though, I will admit, I was after her virginity for awhile.)
I liked the way she smiled, or the way she giggled, not the way she… she… she never TRIED flirting with me. And if she did It went by unnoticed.
And plus, if she has, it wasn't like the other girls, so who says she even interested?
Wait, what?
I groaned under my breath and ignored the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose and start slamming my fists against the dashboard. I wasn't even THINKING straight, what was wrong with me?!
"Are you okay?"
Oh, and there was her voice. Soft, and petite. Not low and seductive.
I like it a lot.
Wait, no I don't.
"Mimura?' Are you okay?"
Stay frosty man… stay frosty… she's getting to you. All this crap I just getting to you… that gossip, and Kiriyama…
"Shinji! Mimura! You're driving too slow!"
Suddenly, I was ripped from my thoughts, and I realized that I was going 20 mph in a 50 mph highway.
I pressed my foot on the gas and we lurched forward. My head hurt.
Oh god how I needed a nap.
I pulled the keys from the ignition after pulling into Chisato's driveway. I let out a breath and looked over at her. She looked over at me.
Her cheeks were really pale, and her eyes were dark. It was almost like she wasn't even looking at me, but through me.
"Thank you." She said. Suddenly, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. My heart started to pound. Everything was going in slow motion as she got closer and closer.
And then she rested her head in the crook of my neck.
She was… hugging me?
I awkwardly wrapped my arms around her thin waist, still a little surprised because I thought she was going to KISS me, and after a second, I pulled her closer. She was practically sitting in my lap, and I could actually feel her heart pounding against my chest.
She was holding onto me tightly.
Like she never wanted to let go.
When she finally drew back, I noticed that her eyes were misted over with tears.
"Thanks a lot. I mean… for bringing me to see Kiriyama, and sort of… being there for me. I mean, I was thinking the whole way here, and I realized that you were just always there whenever I needed someone around. Like, you helped more then my friends when whoever spread that rumor… well, spread the rumor. And hell… we haven't even been friends that long, no offense, but I know that we've become closer. I never imagined it to happen, but it did… and I'm just happy about it…" A single tear slipped down her cheek and I wanted to wipe it away so badly, but she reached up and beat me to it.
"I owe you a lot…" She reached over to the door but I grabbed her shoulder.
I wanted to talk, too.
"You don't owe me anything. Consider it my apology for being a dick to you in homeroom. And you probably wouldn't think I have, but I've realized a lot too."
I held her gaze steadily and noticed her eyes were brimming with tears again and just as one fell, I wiped it away with my thumb.
She seemed frozen again, but atleast I could see in her eyes that she understood.
Finally, Chisato turned away and opened the door. She seemed to hesitate before hopping out of the car. Something she didn't know was that it wasn't even my car.
It was my Cousin's. He left it at my place, hiding the keys. There was this little nook around the back of my house where he hid it, so my dad would most likely never find it.
My cousin said that if I got caught by the police, that he wasn't involved at all so I tried not to use it often. And GOD that was hard…. I mean I'm still only fifteen. Just got my permit.
I watched her walk around the car, and wondered if I should have gone after her. Sat with her, comforted her… talked to her.
My hands, which were in my lap, started to tingle. I wanted to run out there as she opened her front door. But then she slipped inside and the urge was now just a dull tickle in my fingertips.
What was wrong with me??
Chisato's POV
I sighed heavily and tossed my key on the table before flopping lazily onto my couch. My muscles were sore and my eyes were hazy. I was tired, yet wide awake, and felt really fidgety. I had the paper in my hand still, and thought vaguely if I should walk to school.
That's when I remembered my cell phone. I grumbled under my breath and reached down to my pocket.
Nothing.
I patted it a little anxiously, and reached to my other pocket.
Nothing.
I shot up and shoved my hands into my pockets and felt my stomach clench.
"Oh no… Where's my cell phone?"
Mimura's POV
I heard a really weird vibrating noise in the seat next to me, and dismissed it as empty soda cans rattling around on the floor. I started to slow down as I approached my house, scanning the windows and the drive way for any sign that my dad or mom was home.
They weren't, so I pulled the car into the driveway. I unbuckled, left the gas on, and hopped out the car, fast walking to my back yard fence. I unhooked the door, and opened it; it was one of those two door type deals, so it was wide enough for my car to fit. After doing this, I ran back to the car, jumped in, didn't bother buckling, and drove slowly but surely into my backyard. After making sure it couldn't be seen, I turned the keys and pulled them from the ignition.
I heard the vibrating noise again.
I cocked my brow and looked down at my feet; there was no way that the cans could have been moving now. I glanced over into the back seat, and the vibrating continued. My eyes flicked over to the seat next to mine, and saw it.
A small, flip phone, with a flashing screen. My hand shot out and I snatched it, flipping it open quickly, "Hello?" I said breathlessly, feeling my heart speeding up a bit.
I became excited.
This WAS Chisato's PHONE after all.
"Uhm, Hi? Who is this?" I heard a girl's voice on the other side. Haruka.
I bit my lip, trying not to burst out into laughter,
"None of your business," I replied, and continued, "But right now, Chisato's phone is in MY possession, and it will be unless you tell her exactly what I'm about to say." I felt a devious grin spreading on my face.
I had no doubt in my mind that this would be fun.
So, with all thoughts of Kiriyama aside, I started to work my magic.
I made this chapter a lot longer then I usually do, and I really hope you guys like it!