Disclaimer: Alas, alack, I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, or any characters or places thereby related. Oh, woe is me!

Alternate Fantasy

By Draic

Chapter One: Forgotten Angel

"Squall Leonhart!"

I looked up from the mess of papers on the desk in front of me and squinted to try and focus on the figure standing in my doorway.

"What is it?" I asked, irritated at being disturbed. The figure said nothing, but moved purposefully towards me. There was a soft swoosh as the door slid shut behind them, and my blurry vision finally cleared up, revealing blue garb, feminine features, dark hair, and a pretty, scowling face.

Oh no. I sighed. Here it comes…

Rinoa slammed her palms onto the desk and glared at me. "Do you have any idea how late it is, Squall? You haven't been sleeping properly for weeks!"

My eyes flickered towards the small clock on the edge of the desk, but I slowly and deliberately put down my pen and folded my arms, trying not to yawn. Now was not the time. "I have a lot to do," I told her, and waited for the retort I knew was coming. I wasn't disappointed.

"Well, there's a surprise," she returned. "And why might this be, I wonder?" Rinoa paused, then shook her head irritably, dark hair waving over her face. "Squall, you're still doing it!"

"Doing what?" I asked, uninterested.

"You still don't trust anyone to help you out! We had this conversation a few days ago, in FH. Remember? Squall, you never let anyone help you and you never give anyone even a clue when you're in over your head."

My reasons still haven't changed, Rinoa. What's the point of talking to other people about my problems? They've already got their own to sort out. It's better to stand on my own two feet and handle what I'm given, rather than relying on someone else for support. What if they can't handle the pressure? I'm not going to let everything come crashing down on top of me just because someone else can't handle it. No, on top of everything else that's the last thing I need.

I uncrossed my arms and rubbed my eyes. "Rinoa… What's your point?" I asked wearily. She rolled her eyes and sat on my bed.

"Squall, just because you're the head of Garden, it doesn't mean you can't still be a total idiot sometimes. You don't have to do everything yourself! All this work that keeps you up at night - Do you think Cid ever did paperwork? He had a secretary, you know!"

I blinked. He did? I never noticed. Maybe they were too busy to ever leave their office, wherever that is.

"Why should I dump all this work on someone else?" I demanded.

"Because you're too important to everyone to collapse when we need you most!" Rinoa snapped, and stormed to the door.

I was shocked by her ferocity. It sounded just like the fights we'd had after the Timber mission. Rinoa had changed since then, had matured a little, perhaps. But for the most part she was light-hearted, playful, often annoying, but… pleasant to be around. What had brought this on?

As the door slid open again, Rinoa turned her head slightly and said in a calmer tone, "Besides, it won't be 'dumping' work on anyone. If you share work, it makes less for each person to do. You obviously weren't taught that as a child." A glimpse of wings and she was gone.

I wouldn't know - I can't remember my childhood. I rubbed my eyes again and tried to concentrate on the work in front of me, but the tiny print just couldn't reach my brain. Hyne, I can't stand this paperwork much longer… It would be nice to sleep in… Maybe Rinoa was right… Maybe I should get a secretary…

I moved slowly and collapsed on my bed, staring through my hair to the ceiling above. Who could I find to be my secretary? …Would I have to pay them? …Maybe I can dig up whoever Cid was using…Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow…

Sis… Are you gonna come back? …Or am I all alone?

"Wake up, Squall."

I groaned, and turned over. Just a few more minutes, I told myself.

The feminine voice persisted. "Come on, Squall, you slept in for most of the morning. You have to get up sometime."

I frowned slightly, eyes still closed. I thought she wanted me to get some sleep…

I felt the pressure on my arms as someone forcibly pulled me to a sitting position. "Rinoa, please…" I moaned as I slowly opened my eyes.

I was faced with the multicoloured midriff of the girl who'd woken me. Wearing something new today? Odd…As I blinked my eyes a few times, she knelt by the bed, bringing her face to eye level. A coherent thought finally pierced my brain. That's not Rinoa…

A hand moved to brush a few blonde wisps out of her face, and eyes blue as the sky stared into mine.

"Quistis?" I said slowly.

The eyes seemed to sparkle as she flashed her teeth in an amused smile. "What, don't you recognise me?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head in confusion, and it suddenly dawned on me that she was not wearing her glasses. I felt her standing and followed suit, but couldn't help looking her up and down distractedly. Her usual red skirt and top had been replaced by a deep green material that bared her left leg and right shoulder, overlaid by a thick strip of cream that wound around her body, beginning with her right foot and vanishing somewhere around her left elbow. Attached to the cream strip were countless ribbons of various colours and lengths. I would have said something, but it was really none of my business if she'd chosen to give herself a makeover… besides, I'd been struck dumb by what she'd done to her hair. Tufts of blonde stuck out from her head at odd angles, each tied with ribbons akin to the ones that lined her outfit. I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed by the complete change in the formerly neat, composed Instructor.

"Come on, Squall, you're going to be late!" she insisted, and tapped her foot impatiently. She even seemed completely oblivious to my shock. Now there was something new.

I shook my head again and tried to gather my thoughts. Quistis in green…Why the change? …I didn't think she could afford another outfit… and her hair!

I blinked. Hang on, late for what?

As I opened my mouth, she threw a pile of clothes at my head. "I'll wait outside while you change," she told me, and her footsteps told me she was heading for the door. As I pulled a pair of pants off my head, she added, "And then you can tell me who this Rinoa is."

The door swung shut behind her and as it clicked, her words finally registered.

WHAT?!

I jumped off the bed, spilling the clothes all over the floor, and moved to the door, impatiently waiting for it to slide open. It didn't, and I looked at it in surprise. It was wooden. It had hinges and a doorknob. It wasn't the automatic door that had been there last night.

What the hell is this!?

I pulled the door open and stopped, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar perspective; I found myself staring across a hallway at a row of doors. My room had been opposite a long window.

What in Hyne's name…

I turned to look back around the room I was in - tiny bed shoved up against the right-hand wall, small table in the opposite corner… this miniscule space was a cadet's dorm. I shook my head in confusion and my eyes fell upon the clothes on the floor: short pants, a blue vest and some sort of long purple scarf.

The only explanation was that it was all some elaborate joke, and I'd been the victim. I thought I'd let them know years ago that I wouldn't accept this sort of messing about.

"What are you waiting for?" Quistis asked from behind me. I whirled and narrowed my eyes accusingly at her, as she stood there with hands on hips. "Hey, don't glare at me like that," she continued, playfully poking me in the chest. "I don't care what side of the bed you woke on this morning, if you get me a detention you'll be partnering Gerssan for tomorrow's classes."

I was momentarily thrown off track by the strange threat and unfamiliar name, but decided to ignore it until I sorted out the matter at hand.

"What," I demanded, gesturing over my shoulder at the room behind me, "is this?"

Quistis was unimpressed; she merely raised her eyebrows at me and said, "…It's your dorm, Squall."

"This isn't funny, Quistis," I warned.

She shook her head, arms spread wide. "And I'm not laughing, Squall." I stared at her in utter confusion, and she pressed on. "What is with you this morning? I don't suppose this has got anything to do with Rinoa, does it?"

Rinoa. Of course. I'd bet this was all supposed to be some sort of 'fun' remedy for all my worries.

"Where is she?" I growled.

"How should I know?" Quistis cried, throwing up her hands. "I've never met the girl! You tell me where she is!"

She's never met… Confused suspicion turned to panic as I desperately sought for any trace of humor in her eyes.

"…You're serious, aren't you?" I whispered, as my world spun around me. Quistis' puzzled look began to adopt a tinge of concern.

She doesn't know who Rinoa is. She honestly doesn't have a clue… What the hell is going on? My mind was racing as I struggled to make sense of what was happening.

"Squall… are you feeling alright?" Quistis asked. "Maybe you should go see Doctor Dincht."

"Are you kidding?" I asked her distractedly. "If I go in to see him, I won't get out until lunchtime for his speeches. That guy just likes the sound of his own voice."

Quistis chuckled, and I stared at her in sudden alarm. Where the hell did that come from? I don't even know a Doctor Dincht… The only doctor I've ever had was Doctor Kad… Doctor…

I blinked and looked around. What had I been doing?

Quistis was standing in front of me. "Sorry, what did you say?" I asked her.

Her eyes had been twinkling for some reason - she'd obviously been amused at something. But now her expression had changed to one of confusion.

"I didn't say anything, Squall," she replied, and folded her arms. "You were just telling me you didn't want to see Doctor Dincht."

I stared at her. Did I? "Why would I say something like that? I feel fine." I looked around at the empty hallway. "Hey, what time is it? Shouldn't we be in class?" I caught her expression of complete amazement and asked, "What is it?"

"What happened to Mister Grumpy?" she returned. "The way you were acting, I thought you were going to bite my head off. What's this girl done to you?"

I stared at her blankly. "What girl?"

She gaped at me. "That's what I've been trying to find out! Who is Rinoa?"

"Rinoa?" I repeated. The name meant nothing to me. I shrugged.

"Squall, I asked you who Rinoa was only half a minute ago and you were shocked that I didn't know. And now you're trying to tell me you don't know who she is either? Either you're making this whole thing up as some ridiculous joke, or…"

She paused and looked at me suspiciously. Despite the many protests and questions I was building up, the only one that came out was, "Or what?"

She shifted her feet, began fiddling with her ribbons and wouldn't look at me. "I want you to tell me the truth, Squall," she said softly. "This girl Rinoa…" She took a deep breath and looked up. "Have you been cheating on me?"

I fell all over myself laughing. "Cheating on you?"

Quistis blushed and looked down, shifting her feet. "Well, it was just that…"

Hang on… "Cheating on you?" I reiterated, shocked and confused. Cheating on her… on Quistis? Wouldn't that mean we're… Isn't she… what's going on? Quistis looked none too pleased, but at least she had the fire back in her eyes.

"Oh, so now you've forgotten me? Well, let me remind you…" She did an odd little bow and clapped her hands. "For your personal entertainment, we bring to you… Me! My name is Quistis Miranh. I'm eighteen, I have blonde hair and blue eyes and I'm training to be a SeeD at Balamb Garden. I've also been going out with you, Squall Leonhart, for about four months now."

I just stared at her. Somehow, I couldn't quite grasp what she was talking about. There was an odd buzzing in my head, like there was a voice screaming out, "She's lying!" But, no… she was right… somehow she was telling the truth, but I was hearing lies. Quistis… no, there was nothing wrong with her last name… was there? Four months… yes, close enough… training? Of course Quistis was still training as a cadet – what else would she be? So why was part of my mind telling me this didn't make any sense? I rubbed my forehead distractedly and then stared at my hand. There was something odd about my head.

Quistis was still looking at me expectantly. "I think… the infirmary is a very good idea," I told her.

"Oh… okay. Um, do you want me to come with you?"

I smiled at her. "No, it's alright Quistis. I don't want to make you any more late."

That got her. She even managed a "But, Squall…" but she caught sight of her watch and started looking agitated.

"Hey, just tell Instructor Segal that I was sick and you had to take me to the Infirmary," I advised her. "You can't get in trouble for that."

She looked relieved. "That's perfect! Thanks, Squall…" She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and darted off. I watched her go with a smile, then headed off in the other direction.

As I made my way through Garden, I found myself admiring the craftsmanship of its makers. The delicate, streamlined curves of the walls and hallways, matched with the efficiency of the design… the pyramid-like tower with the spoked 'wheel' of hallways lined with lush foliage at the base… It was definitely a beautiful building, and a great place to live, however strange it seemed when considering our profession. We were mercenaries for hire, when it came down to it. But, watching the people passing by, I could say with great certainty that we wouldn't choose to be anywhere else.

I continued studying the passers-by and waved to those I knew. Some waved back, but there were a few people who waved to me that I didn't recognise at all… Except as I stared at them in surprise, I realised that I did know them after all. Ordinarily I wouldn't have been too worried - some I didn't have that much to do with - until I suddenly realised that the unfamiliar boy who had just nodded to me was Durran Kovish, who I'd shared a dorm with for almost a full three years now.

Perhaps I really did have a problem. Some weird sort of semi-amnesia or something.

Worst of all was when I got to the infirmary hallway. "Hey, Squall!" A dark-haired boy of about ten was calling to me and his face would just not click. If he knew my name, did that mean I knew him? Had I ever seen him before? Or was he just someone I passed in the hall? As I hesitated, he jogged up to me and bombarded me with a series of questions: "Hey! Where ya goin', Squall? Why aren't ya in class? Have you got an outdoor class today? Lowen had an outdoor class the other day and almost got eaten by a Bite Bug. Have you seen Lowen? He came out this way and Jani was chasing after him but I can't see Jani either. Do you know Jani? She likes you. If my Instructor asks you where I am, don't tell her, okay? She doesn't like Lowen and Jani doesn't like her cause she said to Brigady that…"

He had me backed up against a wall, but at this point I'd managed to edge around him sideways until he was no longer blocking the path down the southwest hallway. So as soon as he paused for breath, I blurted out:

"Uhh… I'm not feeling too well, uh, kid, so, uh, I'm going to, um, go. Bye!"

And I fled down the hallway, just short of running in panic. I burst through the double doors at the end of the hall and began, "Doctor, I need…"

Doctor Kadowaki looked up. She was wearing an apron and a hairnet.

"Let me guess… you need a hot dog?" she supplied, pointing at me with a spatula. My mouth worked soundlessly. "For your friend, of course," she continued, waving the implement and giggling. "'Cause he's lying there on his deathbed, and he grabs your hand and whispers… 'If only I had a hot dog… maybe I would have the strength to carry on...'" She laughed. "Really, the excuses you kids come up with… like that young lady who tried to tell me she was allergic to everything else we had to offer, and so she HAD to have the last hot dog… Although I rather like your story – I've always dreamed of being a doctor. Anyway, here you go… Squall, isn't it? Hope your friend feels better! Ha, ha!"

She prodded my hand with a stick of meat on a bun and I grabbed it by instinct only. Somehow I managed to close my gaping mouth and stammer out my thanks. Totally bewildered, I backed out of the Inf- Cafeteria.

You've lived here for about a decade, Squall, and you can't even remember how to get to the Infirmary. Fantastic.

At least the kid was nowhere in sight. On the other hand, I could have asked him for directions - he seemed talkative enough…

"Hey, Squall! Is that hot dog for me?"

I jumped at the booming voice behind me and spun around, holding the hot dog out like a sword. Whereupon the tall, dark guy took it and said, "Thanks, Squall, they're always out of 'em by the time I get there."

"You know?" someone said, and then I realised with a start that it had been me.

Raijin looked confused. I knew the feeling.

"Uh…Okay…" he offered. "Well… see ya, Squall. And thanks again for the hot dog!"

In a trance, I called my farewells to the cadet's retreating back and then cursed as I returned to the problem at hand.

I should have asked him where the infirmary is. Since he knows my name and I can remember his, maybe we could have had a normal conversation.

A short young woman in uniform walked past. Her hair was chestnut brown and I caught a flash of green eyes.

"Selphie?" I called, hopefully.

She stopped and turned to look at me. I hurried to catch up before the chance left.

"Selphie, can you tell me where the infirmary is? Please?"

Selphie looked up at me with those twinkling eyes. She sneered. "Lost your way, hotshot?"

I should have been used to Selphie's unfounded animosity towards me by now, but for some reason it was especially astonishing at that moment. What I should have found astonishing was that I had actually been expecting a cheery, civil reply.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Could you find me someone who will tell me where it is?"

She was all set up with her eyes narrowed and even had her lips in a thin line and everything when someone called out to her from behind me and spoiled the whole effect.

"Hey, Selphie!"

We both turned to the tall blonde guy who was jogging up to us. He wore a blue-green t-shirt underneath a singlet that was mostly purple except for a white streak across his chest, and a second that ran down the left side of his body, continued after the gap of his stomach on his long reddish pants. "I thought you were going to wait for me, Sel!" he said, and grinned as if that was a joke. Considering Selphie's usual temperment, perhaps it was.

Hang on, did he just call her 'Sel'?

"Yeah, sorry Seifer," Selphie replied, eyes flickering towards me and looking more irritated than sorry.

Sorry? To Seifer?

The blonde followed the shorter girl's eyes and suddenly seemed to notice me. "Oh, hey Squall. What's up?"

I gave a start. Yes, Squall, this is called having a conversation. Maybe Seifer isn't your best friend, but you get along pretty well. So why did it feel so weird to be addressed like that?

"…Uh…Can you tell me where the infirmary is?" I managed faintly. He frowned, but before he could say anything I added, "Please, no more questions. I think I have a kind of amnesia. I don't remember where the infirmary is, but I have to go there so they can fix me up. Okay?" I said, trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh, amnesia, hey? Weird…" He caught the look on my face and continued. "Ah, the infirmary is next to the training area." I stared at him. "…You don't remember where the training centre is?" he guessed, seeing the anguished look on my face. "Oh, uh, it's… HEY! SELPHIE!" he shouted at the small figure striding off down the main hall. She'd obviously tired of the company. Seifer turned back to me. "Look, Squall, just check the directory, okay?" He even pointed it out - all of twenty paces away - and sprinted after the brunette once more as I clapped a hand to my head in disgust. Why the hell didn't I think of that? It's so blindingly obvious.

As Seifer reached the shorter girl, I heard him asking, "What was that about?"

Selphie gave him a look and started up the stairs to the elevator, but I caught the start of her rant.

"The guy's a complete moron, Seifer. I can't understand why…"

I managed to restrain myself until the elevator doors had snapped shut and the pair risen out of sight before I dashed madly to the directory.

Better memorise this… again… in case I need to go somewhere else in a hurry. Let's see… clockwise from here, it's the cafeteria, quad, then the library, the dorms, and the infirmary! Yes! Then the training centre and the…magic testing area…

I didn't even bother wondering why I felt such surprise at the name of a place I'd been in so many, many times before.

I ran to the infirmary, tried to shake off the sudden visions of cars and hesitantly called, "Doctor?"

"Yes?" came a voice from one of the adjoining rooms.

What was his name? Dr. Dincht? …I know a Dincht, don't I? Don't I?

A man in a white coat appeared, holding a trash can. "Oh, Squall! I was just cleaning up. What can I do for you?"

He was blonde, short and stocky. Though I was somewhat relieved to notice that he was clearly in his forties and unlike the ten-year-old, I recalled seeing this man many times before.

Oh, thank Hyne. Finally, I can set this straight…

"Doctor… I think I've got a sort of amnesia…" I began, then realised that was practically all I knew about it.

"Oh really?" The doctor seemed impressed. "Well, I haven't had that in a while. What have you forgotten?"

I actually considered the question before I caught the broad smile etched on his face. He laughed and shook his head. "Oh come on, you shouldn't have been caught out by such a pathetic joke as that."

"Sorry," I muttered. "It's been a difficult morning."

"I can imagine," the doctor sympathised. "But I'm afraid if it truly is amnesia, there is nothing I can do for you. No reliable medicine but time."

"Fantastic," I said, rubbing my eyes. "Can I at least lie down for a while?"

"Oh, sure, go ahead." He gestured to the room he'd just left.

He sure sounds familiar… I wish I knew why…

"Oh," he said casually as I passed, "if you happen to have any Guardians junctioned, it might help to get them out of your head for a while. They do tend to put a lot of strain on the mind… not to mention the body."

"Thanks," I said, wondering if he was hinting at something or if my screwed-up brain was just getting me paranoid.

However at the sight of the bed, all thought fled from my mind. I practically collapsed on the white sheets and closed my eyes…

I was standing in the rain, staring off into the distance. "Sis… Where are you?"

"I'm here, Squall."

"Sis?"

I couldn't believe it. Sis was back!

"Elle! You're back! I was doin' real good by myself. Did you see? …I missed you, Sis. I…"

She laughed, but it wasn't a nice laugh. It was high and cold, not at all like Elle's light laughter.

"Sis…?"

"You fool. You weak, pitiful fool. Did you imagine you had gotten rid of me? I have all the power this time… Squall. I hold all the keys. I will make you watch those you love suffer and die and then I will kill you. And this time, there will be no one to stop me."

She laughed again; the same high, chilling laugh. Elle turned to me and pulled out a silver knife.

"Sleep well, little brother."

I woke up screaming.

Oh, Hyne. Elle…?

I brushed damp hair away from my sweat-streaked face and concentrated on breathing evenly again. My eyes focussed on the SeeD uniform hanging from the hook on the wall. Yes, I was a SeeD. I was in my room. I sighed in relief and lay down again.

That was pretty bad. It was so real… How the hell did my mind drench up something like that?

I shifted my weight, trying to get comfortable under the hot, sweat-soaked sheets. Sleepily, I turned my head.

There was a silver knife sticking into the pillow, a finger's width from my face.

Oh, shit.