All I Want For Christmas Is You

*Author*: WhipOfLightHeartOfSword

*Rating*: PG-13 (Sorry guys, no lemon this time around. Just WAFF. The juicy, naughty stuff's being saved for the sequel. ^_~)

*Disclaimer*: I am not the owner of Gundam Wing, only the story premise of this particular fanfic. This is a not-for-profit fanwork done by a fan for the enjoyment of other fans, nothing more.

*Warnings*: Yaoi (gay romance)

*Pairings*: Treize/Wufei (main), Duo/Heero, Quatre/Trowa

*Timeline*: The little blurb at the beginning takes place just before Trieze was killed. It's been some time since I've watched the series, even more so since I've seen Endless Waltz. So, I kinda threw cannon to the wind and made the timeline suit my purposes. I forget everyone's age in cannon when the series ended. I know they were 15 at the start of Operation Meteor, but I totally don't remember how long the war lasted. I seem to recall something that they were stil 15… O_o? Too young for my purposes, so I simply decided that it made sense for the war to take a few years (more logical to me considering its scale than this idea that the whole thing ended in 12 months). Thus in this fic the pilots were 19 at the war's conclusion, which puts them all at 23 at the start of the story. Treize I've settled on as being 32 years old.

*Feedback*: Yes please, but no flames. If you don't like the story go find something you do like rather than wasting the time writing something I'm only going to ignore. Constructive criticism however, is welcome, and I'm always open to it.

*Summary*: They were enemies on the battlefield, and spent their time basking in newfound love when no one was looking. Before the war's end Wufei and Treize promised they'd be together, should both survive its conclusion. Then came the fateful battle where Treize was killed by Wufei's hand. Four years later Wufei's still grieving, not knowing that Treize never died. Miraculously he survived, but has remained hidden, not willing to face the pilot only to find Wufei's over him. Will this Christmas see them finally together?

A/N: This was begun Christmas Day 2006 and finished sometime around New Years. I thought it silly to post it then, considering it still had considerable editing needed and people would be well out of the Christmas mood by the time it was ready for posting. I did start posting in on AFF a year later, but never got around to getting it up on FFnet. This was my first Gundam Wing fic, and I'm so pleased with how it's turned out.

This was inspired by the song "All I Want For Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey. Due to FFnet's aversion to putting song lyrics in fics (even as quotes), I've neglected to put them in. Which actually works out considering the majority of this fic is far more angsty than that song is, lol!

*UPDATE*

Okay, total apologies to everyone who's been reading this fic. I have no good excuse for why it's been a couple of years and the updates never came. I mean, maybe because this fic has been posted in completion on another site… I forgot… Who knows? (Not me, at least.) I should have had the presence of mind to finish posting it during Christmas this year, but I'm in Japan at the moment which is not a country that really celebrates Christmas, so my holiday was decidedly… odd, and hardly felt much like a holiday. Actually it was a bit sad whenever I thought about the fun I was missing out on back home. Anyway. Better late than never, ne? So, I'm going to do exactly what I said I'd do back when this was first posted and break it back into its chapters, rather than have several chapters thrown at you all in one shot. Chapters 1-4 then, are what's already been posted for the past couple of years. Chapter 5 is where you should navigate to if you're looking for new content, and also the review responses for the parts originally posted together as chapter 1.

Also, minor changes have been made since I finally sat down and watched the ep where Treize dies, rather than depending on friends who somehow forgot how he died and gave me incorrect spoilers *shakes head*. I cried, but in some strange twist of fate Wufei killing him actually works to make this fic more believable. I don't know about you guys, but if I killed the person I loved I'd be a hell of a lot less likely to get over it and move on too, ne?

~*~Part 1~*~

He was warm…and safe. Strong arms tightened their hold on him, and as he let himself melt a little into the form he leaned against, he felt as if he could almost forget there was a war, or that the next mission could be his last, or that he could wake up tomorrow to hear that the person who had slowly become more important to him than anything had been taken from him and turned into just another casualty. One of many.

He closed his eyes tightly against such thoughts, not wanting to let his mind go there, but unwilling to delude himself either.

"I have to go," he whispered, hating the words, and hating even more that once again he was faced with the only certainty their relationship had.

They could very well never meet again.

"I don't want you to," the one holding him murmured, resting their cheek atop his head.

"I must. I have to report, and if I don't get back soon enough people will get suspicious," he sighed. "They can't find out about us, Treize."

"I know," Treize Kushrenada, the one who was supposed to be up there on his list of people who were of top priority to kill, reached up a hand to stroke his hair for a moment, toying with the short tail at the nape of his neck before he released his hold. He pulled back and stared into the onyx eyes of the young man who'd captured his heart. Who'd brought light and joy to his battered mind and soul every time he laid eyes on him.

The young man who'd started out as his enemy, but in the years since had become to him so much more.

"Wufei? Before you go, I need to ask you something, and I want an honest answer."

"Then ask," he answered.

Treize took a moment to gaze at his secret love, the one he had to hide from the world. His dragon. The one that no one knew about, except as his enemy on the field of battle. Forcing himself to remember that said dragon had to leave, he went ahead with his question.

"I love you, Wufei. I know that's a somewhat strong sentiment all things considered. But I think it's the most accurate way to describe how I feel about you. And I hate that it has to be like this between us. Sneaking around, lying, keeping secrets from people we don't want to keep things from. Especially things like this," he stepped up the pace, seeing the younger man looking a bit anxious.

"Right now it can't be helped, and if that's the way things have to be, then so be it, as long as I still have you. But when it's all over, when the war is ended and it doesn't matter whose side we were on, will you come stay with me? Be my partner openly, and if it works out, maybe even permanently?"

He was stunned. Speechless. Treize wanted him to stay and have a real romance with him? A rare smile lit his face at the thought. Gods but that sounded so good.

"I'd love to," he said.

Treize grinned and pulled him back into his arms. How he would have loved to kiss the beautiful Gundam pilot right there, but he held himself back. When they'd first discovered an interest in each other that had nothing to do with battle it was because he was simply being a gentleman, now it was for an entirely different reason.

Fighting on different sides, never knowing if and/or when they'd see each other again, both felt it better to wait. It was foolish to get too attached to someone who should have been your enemy. They couldn't afford to let personal feelings get in the way of their ability to do their jobs.

It hurt badly enough already, being separated the way they were. And what if they were caught? Now as it was they could claim it was no more than friendship; mere sympathy for someone of a kindred spirit. It would hurt even more so if they were to be involved intimately, actually let themselves become truly close, and then face a charge of fraternizing with the enemy. So beyond the occasional hugs and holding hands, and once or twice cuddling next to each other, they refrained from physical contact.

Supposedly, it would also make it easier for one to face the loss of the other to the war's hungry appetite. Force the romance to stay in its early stages, and then perhaps they could file it away amongst the many 'what ifs' and 'might have been' that accompanied their memories. But now, neither of them was so sure. If anything though, it had given them proof that what was between them wasn't just lust. It was more than that, far more. And if they were this close now, even with all the restraints they placed on themselves, then one could only imagine how inseparable they'd be if allowed free rein to let their relationship grow.

He sighed, "I have to go now, really."

"Just promise me that you'll come back, and that you're mine," Treize said. It was the only regular verbal acknowledgement he made towards what was between them.

"I promise," he said, then forcefully extracted himself from his love's arms, making his body move away even though it didn't want to.

"But you have to promise me the same," he looked back, meeting Treize's eyes one last time.

The older man nodded solemnly. "I do."

He smiled softly, and turned away, swiftly climbing out the window and leaping as silently as possible to the ground one story below…

"HEY! 'FEI-MAN!"

Wufei jolted upright, hand immediately going for his gun, which lucky for his impromptu living alarm clock had the safety on. Not that that meant much when in the hands of a former Gundam pilot, but his ability to almost instantaneously identify and register a friend—even if he was pissed at said friend—made up for it.

Duo just laughed, uncaring of the fact his friend: A. had just pulled a gun on him, and B. had been asleep. He leaned over Wufei's desk and playfully ruffled his hair, ruining the severe visual effect given by his now formerly tight ponytail.

Wufei, irritated at being touched by someone, and even more furious at himself for falling asleep while at work, smacked the ex-02 pilot's hand away, growling. "Maxwell, is there a reason you feel it necessary to disturb me?"

Duo grinned. "Hey, better me than Une, right? Anyways I came in to tell you that said Lady asked us all to a meeting, so you might want to get down there quick. Oh, and by the way, what do you want for Christmas?"

Wufei looked at him half incredulously, half plain old expressionless stare that he gave people probably more often than any other look. "What does that have to do with anything, Maxwell?"

The braided man sighed. "It's standard procedure this time of year to ask, 'Fei. There's only two weeks left before Christmas."

The ex-Shenlong pilot stood and walked towards the door. "So? Isn't it also standard procedure to keep what you're getting someone a secret? Surprise me."

He left Duo to follow him to the meeting room at his own pace, while he desperately tried to get that dream, no, memory out of his head. 'Shinigami, even you couldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas.'

This time of year was painful for him, like no one knew. It was around this time four years ago that Treize had asked him to stay with him after the war, and have a real relationship like they'd so badly wanted.

But then he'd gotten killed that same night, just before Christmas.

That day was for some unknown reason even more painful than the day he'd lost Meilan. Even worse was when he stopped trying to fool himself and owed up to the reason.

He'd loved Treize, in a way he never had Nataku. In a way he'd never loved anything. It was 'true' love, just like you read about in stories but never expect to actually find in real life. Nataku had brought out a fierce respect in him, and an appreciation for someone so strong and dedicated. But Treize was different. With Treize, he wanted to possess the man's entire being, and give his own in return. To be with always, and grow old with. To come home to, confide in, to share everything past, present and future with.

And the war had taken it from him, just as it had everything else.

Even worse, he'd been the tool the war had used to strike that fatal blow. Him. His Gundam. They'd both played the good little soldiers and fought each other just like they were supposed to…

And here he was four years later, with the death of his beloved still hanging over his head. Haunting him, refusing to let him move on. Not that he minded… it was only justice, really.

The Chinese agent closed his eyes tightly and shook his head, hating that he still felt this way over it. He supposed he'd never really get over it completely, but oh gods did it ever hurt.

Subsequently he couldn't stand Christmastime anymore. It just no longer held any joy for him, being such a harsh reminder now. Every year he put on a brave front for his friends. After all, they didn't know, and never would if he had anything to do with it. His time with Treize, no matter how brief it was or how 'casual' it remained, was his most precious memory, and he'd die before he'd see it slandered by someone who just didn't understand, or wasn't willing to because they saw the man in an entirely different—and not likely to change—light.

So he'd suffer quietly through another year, and cry himself to sleep as he'd done ever since the man died. Then it would be over and he'd pretend it never happened, just to get to do it all over again the next year.

Wufei reached the conference room, and made his way over to his customary spot in the seat closest to the door. Quatre and Trowa were already there. They discretely moved farther apart when he entered, but it didn't stop the keen-eyed martial artist from seeing how intimately they'd been sitting together a moment before.

His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing, not willing to pry into business that wasn't his.

"Hey Wufei, glad to see you finally out of that office," Quatre said. "Honestly, you're closed up in there so much I'd almost think you were going to move in."

"Yea, 'Fei-man, you really gotta get out more," Duo chirped up, catching the tail end of the conversation as he and Heero arrived and took their seats. Heero sat closest to the head of the table, Duo in between him and Wufei. Quatre and Trowa were directly across from them.

"Well unlike some people, Maxwell, I actually don't shirk my paperwork," Wufei shot back. "Or shorten people's names when they've told me repeatedly not to."

"Touchy boy," Duo scoffed. "You need to get laid. Replace that stick in your ass with a dick, or go get a girl. Something."

"Excuse me?" Wufei couldn't believe he'd just heard that from Duo in a conference room, where Commander Une was supposed to be walking in any moment. She'd skin him if he said something like that in her presence at work.

"Not that I condone the way Duo phrased it, Wufei, but he's right," Heero spoke up.

'What?' Wufei's mind did a double-take. Where was this coming from?

"You're always alone when you're not with us, and that's not good. You need someone. Girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, just stop distancing yourself and find someone. I mean look; I have Trowa, and Heero and Duo are together. You're the only one without a significant other. It'd be better if you had someone to come home to. Someone to talk to when we're not around," Quatre said.

"They're not wrong, Wufei," Trowa added his two cents in.

Pain exploded in the Chinese agent's chest as his friends unwittingly touched on the one subject he especially didn't need touched on at this time of year. How dare they? They knew shit about his love life, or how he felt about being alone.

'Because you made sure it would be that way,' an insidious little voice in his head reminded him.

'Shut up,' he told it. Not telling them about Treize was a necessity in his eyes. As for whether he chose to date or not, that still wasn't any of their business. Mentally he growled. Why was it that whenever people started dating, it suddenly became necessary to them for all of their friends to be doing the same? Absolutely infuriating.

But it didn't stop the pain.

Or the next thing that shot through his mind. Why the hell were they having this conversation?

He decided simply to ask. "And when did all of you find the time to pair off anyway? I for one don't have anywhere near enough free space in my schedule for anyone." There, that should get them on a good long tangent.

Quatre answered for himself and Trowa. "A few months before the war ended. Almost four years now. Which might have been a problem with how busy this job gets except for Lady Une allowing us to stay together as partners if we kept it low-key while on the job and so long as it didn't become a mission factor."

Wufei had to give him that. Working together definitely was a time-saver. So long as one didn't piss one's boss off.

"It'll be a year and a half for Duo and I come this spring, though Duo was chasing me around long before that," Heero said with a wry yet fond glance at his partner. "Lady Une's stipulation about being partners was definitely a life-saver. I don't know if we would have made it otherwise with the work schedules we have.

"Really," Wufei said dryly. Well wasn't that nice for them. It still didn't do anything for his situation to have such an accommodating commander, especially when he'd never have need of such accommodations. He planned on it.

He stood up to leave, not willing to stay in the room and wait for them to get around to harassing him again for still being single, while they all got their loves handed to them practically on silver platters, lucky bastards.

'Not like I haven't done anything to deserve this. Maybe this is karma coming back to haunt me for falling in love with the enemy.' And how the hell had they gotten onto such a topic in the first place again? Not that it mattered anymore. The damage was done, he was pissed off, and the wounds he identified as his memories of Treize were threatening to cause him embarrassment should he be forced to stay around them any longer.

"Hey, 'Fei-man where're ya going? Une's going to be here any minute?" Duo called after him.

Wufei's retort died as he opened the door, only to find his commanding officer standing poised to open it herself.

"Why, thank you Agent Chang," she said, blinking in surprise. "I hope you were just being courteous and not trying to leave."

"No, Lady Une. I'm staying," he said, fighting to keep himself together. He needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. The pain was getting out of his control, and this was the worst time for it to happen.

But since he was at work there was nothing for it except to deal with it and hope he could get through the meeting and get out and home before he broke down. Which wasn't going to be easy, from the looks everyone was giving him as he went back to the conference table and took up his seat again.

"Now then, I'm just going to get down to business," Une said as she reached her position at the head of the table. "These last couple of weeks you all have been working very hard—"

"You can say that again," Duo muttered. Heero kicked him under the table as Une glared.

"As I was saying, you've all been working hard for us, and the rest of the Preventers and myself wanted to give you a little gift this Christmas."

Out of the folder in her hand Une pulled five small packets and passports. "Your passports are all due to be renewed, so I did it for you before they expired. These packets each have an airline ticket and a key to a cabin in a winter resort in the Swiss Alps that we've reserved for you all to spend Christmas in together, away from missions and paperwork, and all that other stuff."

"Oh my…" Quatre trailed off, truly touched by Lady Une's thoughtfulness.

"Lady, for once I'm speechless," Duo said.

"I wouldn't say entirely speechless, Maxwell," Wufei quipped. "This is very nice of you, Commander," he said to Une.

"Thank you," Trowa said simply.

"Thank you very much," Heero added. "This is perfect." He couldn't wait to spend Christmas in the Alps with his lover and friends.

The others echoed his thoughts, except for Wufei. Christmas in the Alps sounded wonderful, but the packet said it was reserved for them for two weeks, starting in two days.

He'd hoped to have much of that time alone when he wasn't at work to steel himself so he'd be able to hold it together when he saw them on Christmas Day. One thing he'd never do if he could help it was break down in front of others. This was not going to make it easy.

"You're all very welcome," Une beamed, a rare sight while at the Preventer Headquarters. "Now, I want you all to finish what absolutely needs to be done today, then get home and take care of all your loose ends so you'll be ready to leave on Wednesday morning. And I don't want to see you all again unless it's on vidphone telling me how beautiful it is up there."

"All right! Done deal," Duo cheered, shooting out the door, dragging Heero along by the wrist.

"Merry Christmas, Commander Une," Heero called as he tried not to trip over anything while his lover steered him haphazardly.

"We really appreciate this, Commander," Trowa said. Quatre nodded his agreement. "This is really quite generous of you."

"As if you were one to talk about generosity, Winner," Une chuckled. "Now, you and Barton go and have a wonderful time."

"Will do," Quatre grinned as the two of them made for the door. "Coming Wufei?"

"I'll be right along," he said.

"Okay," Quatre smiled, if a little subdued, before he and his own lover disappeared from sight.

"Are you alright, Wufei?" Lady Une asked, before he himself could try to either leave or say anything to her.

"I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Wufei responded with a question of his own.

Lady Une gave him a pointed look. "Don't think I'm an idiot. I've seen you. Every year the other pilots, even Heero and Trowa, get all excited, and you just get more sullen and introverted than ever. Then, in a few weeks when it's all over, you go back to normal with a sense of relief about you. What is it, Wufei?"

Unwilling to tell her a lie, but not wanting to drag it out and possibly have the others get involved, he decided to tell Une part of the truth.

"I lost someone dear to me just before Christmas while the war was still going on. I guess I still miss them, that's all."

"Oh, Wufei I'm sorry. I hope this trip at least eases a little of that hurt for you," she said genuinely. Part of her would have liked to ask who it was that he'd lost, but she decided against it, knowing that if he wanted anyone to know the details, he'd volunteer them in his own time.

"Me too. Thank you Lady Une," Wufei forced a smile onto his lips. He needed to get out of there, fast. "I'm going to go now, my work is already done for today." Done long enough that exhaustion from all the long hours the pilots had been putting in had managed to catch up to him. Thus the incident of falling asleep on his desk and the dream and his current battle with his emotions.

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Wufei. Have a good time."

With that, he left the conference room, forcing his composure to stay intact. Grabbing his coat, laptop, and keys, he bid goodbye to the other pilots to keep them from getting suspicious, and headed for his car.

By the time he got home, he only had enough time to put his stuff down in the living room and lock the door, before the tears could be held back no longer and he collapsed on the couch and cried.

~*~TBC…~*~