I couldn't describe the feelings her smile made me feel.

Or the way her laughter just, made me want to join in.

And how her hands around me felt, right.

This is wrong. I don't feel this way about girls.

I wasn't actually following the choreography. I know, its a shock and a horror. Stefan would be cursing at me if he was here. I was having too much fun to care. But it wasn't only fun I was feeling and it was this revelation that was making me feel alot more dizzy and weak-kneed than I should have been feeling. Something was so wrong, and yet so unbelievably right. I took my hands out of Ronnie's and went to place them on her hips to raise her up, but my hands froze.

I took a big breath and subtley pushed Ronnie from my body and smiled faintly at her. What was going on with me? I thought I knew who I was...what I preferred. I was only close to her for a few minutes and my head was spinning. This is sick. Wrong. I must have eaten something off.

"Thanks Jez. That was really fun and you should count yourself lucky you weren't injured." Her eyes lit up as she laughed. Look away.

"Welcome. Lola. Gone. Ages." You are now officially a bumbling idiot. Can you hear yourself?

"Are you alright Jez?" She looked concerned.

I nodded. I didn't think I could handle much more. My mind was working overtime. I couldn't seem to understand why my body was reacting like this to Ronnie. Ronnie! Of all people - a girl. It wasn't normal for him. No other girls had ever made him feel like he was dizzy just by being near him. I'm supposed to be gay.

"Well, you certainly don't look it love. How about I cheer you up eh?" She was leaning into me. Alarm bells starting sounding in my ears. If she came another inch closer I might be able to count the freckles on her nose. Oh yep, there's six.

And suddenly she couldn't come any closer; her lips were on mine and her arms around my neck. She felt warm and soft. Her lips tasted like sweet honey. I couldn't pull away, and even though the voices in my head were reminding me of my 'male preferences', I wouldn't break this kiss for the world.

Unfortunately Ronnie had other ideas.

She pulled back and patted me on the cheek. It seemed to snap me back to reality. That kiss was wrong. So wrong. I shut my eyes and rested my forehead on hers. I could feel her breath tickling my nose.

"You do know I, well, bat for the other team Ronnie."

"I know."

"Then why-"

"Because I needed to, for my own sanity. I thought, I hoped that if I kissed you that maybe you would fall in love with me too." Hell. She loves me?

"I'm sorry Ronnie." I opened my eyes to see a tear running down her cheek. I went to wipe it away but she stepped back.

"I'm not something to pity Jez! Yeah, I'm in love with a gay man! I'll shout it from the bloody rooftops if I have to, but even that's not going to make it feel any better. I deluded myself into believing that you must have had feelings for me too. I can see now I was wrong and I don't need the pity. Lauren was right, the plan hasn't really-"

"Hold on. What plan?" Her eyes went wide. She sighed.

"No point in hiding it." She took another breath and I gave her a nudge on the arm to make her hurry up. What was the plan? "Lola didn't suddenly have to dash of to the bathroom for no reason and this, this rehearsal she scheduled wasn't for "rehearsal" neither. I've been such a horrible friend Jez, only thinking about myself and what I needed and-"

"Your starting to talk like Lola." She blushed.

"I told Lauren a few days ago how I...felt about you. She came up with the idea to find some way for me to be alone with you, so I could see how you really felt about me and ta-da. Here we are."

"So Lola and Lauren used me?"

"Kind of. But it was really all me, it would never have happened if-"

"I don't understand! Why can't you understand I can't love you how you want me to Ronnie! Why did you need to do all this to prove it?" We were yelling now. This wasn't exactly how I'd pictured my afternoon.

"Oh I don't know! Maybe I'm flippin' bonkers! Maybe I need to go on some pills! This is just how we did it Jez, I'm sorry."

"So you all thought I was making my sexuality up? Just another lie right? Couldn't hack it, could they? Being friends with a poof like me!"

"That's not it and you know it! If you're smart enough to speak in iambic pentagons then-"

I couldn't help myself, could I? "Iambic pentameters."

"...Then you're smart enough to see that Lauren and Lola and everyone loves you just they way you are. I love you just the way you are, except maybe just a little too much. That's kind of why I had plan B."

She'd stumped him. "Plan B?"

"If this didn't work," She gestured her hand between us. "Then I was going to accept a job offer I got from The Sun. They need new photographers and it just so happens they asked me."

"But you've never-"

"No. I've not had much experience with a camera but Lola's friend Lizzy; that reporter from The Sun, set me up with the job."

"So you're leaving Britannia High."

"It looks that way."

"Because of me?"

"Not because of who you are, more because of who you 'like'. I can't be around here and watch you with other guys Jez. It was hard enough before, but now...I have to go."

"I thought you liked your job here?"

"I was never going to be a lunch lady forever. I will miss..." She looked tearier. "I will miss, everything."

"When do you leave?"

"I think part of me knew you weren't going to feel the same. I handed in my resignation this morning."

"I'm that predictable huh?" She shrugged and a small smile crept across her face.

"'Fraid so."

"I'm going to miss you." I walked up to her and pulled her into a bear hug. I wasn't even sure if it was such a good idea considering the way I'd reacted when she was so close to me last time but, I knew I'd regret it if I didn't.

"My mam always says to me; Ronnie, some things change and some things stay the same. Change is always a good thing except when you have to change the bedsheets."

"You're mother's barking mad, but cool." She backed away from my hug and starting walking towards the door.

"I know, but it makes sense. The thing that's changing is that I'll be leaving. The thing that's staying the same is that you'll still have all your great friends around you."

"It won't be the same without you. Sure you won't reconsider?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

I gave her a small smile. "So is this-"

She shook her head again and opened the door so she was standing in it's way. "Let's not call it goodbye. Let's call it: I'll come and see you when your name is in lights. How does that sound?"

"Just like show biz."

And then that was it. She turned around and walked straight past the door, leaving it to bang firmly against it's frame.

She was gone.