A/N: So OMG it's Christmas Eve! Well, here anyway. I don't know, maybe it's already christmas in America? Anyway, mileymadness and ZuZuLG both seemed to like the idea of a little X-mas one-shot, so I hope you guys read this and enjoy. Also, this is dedicated to VanessaBabyS because you've been reading and reviewing 'Just Friends' since Chapter one, even though you'd never seen Camp Rock. I really appreciate all your reviews.
I actually started writing another story but when I came back to it I decided I didn't really like it and I had this idea, so I decided to go with this instead. I hope you like it! I think I do... :) I kept listening to 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' by Mariah Carey while I was writing it. That and 'Wonderful Christmas Time' by Demi Lovato. Also a little bit of 'Last Christmas' by Ashley Tisdale and 'Christmas Is All Around Us' from Love Actually lol Funny movie...
Anyway, I think I've rambled on enough now, so I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and may you get everything you wished for! (everyone, ha, I make it seem like so many people must be reading this... lol) Have a great holiday and a happy new year.
xoxoxo
Demi sighed as she sat down and pulled out a small sheet of paper. She leaned over the worn wooden desk and took the pen lying on the other side, pulling off it's lid and poising it over the paper. She'd done this every year since she was only seven years old and every year she'd wanted the same thing but never gotten it. She was sixteen now and she knew it was pointless, she wasn't sure why she was there, about to write another letter. She didn't even believe in Santa Claus any more.
Another sigh escaped her mouth as she put the pen back down and stood up, walking over to the other side of the room. Getting down on her hands and knees on the soft cream carpet she reached underneath her bed and pulled out an old cardboard box. It was her memory box, dorky she knew, but she loved it all the same. An old smell like musty books wafted out as she opened it's lid and looked in on all the wonders that she kept locked inside.
There was an old audition tape, her first song book, pictures of her and Selena and her family back home in Texas, a copy of her album, the congratulations card her little sister had made her when she got her big brake getting the lead in Camp Rock, the card Benny Hall had made her for Valentines day in year four and the teddy bear given to her by her grandmother who'd passed away when she was eight. All these things that brought back so many wonderful memories. Buried deep down at the bottom where a stack of letters, eight of them in total, one from each year since 1999. She'd never trusted her parents to deliver the precious letters to Santa, she would have been mortified if they'd ever read them.
Carefully she lifted the pile of letters from the box and slid of the rubber band that held them together, opening up the envelopes and pulling out the sheets of paper. Her handwriting had slowly gotten neater over the years, and she'd gone from writing in coloured pencil to lead pencil to coloured pen and then finally plain black. They all asked Santa for the same thing, begged and hoped and wished. The one thing she'd always wanted and never gotten. She remembered wishing on every shooting star, every wishbone, every eye lash, every time she blew out the candles on her birthday cake. It never worked.
Sniffing back a tear she shoved them all back in the box and pushed it back under her bed, though it didn't make it all the way back under and sat sticking half out in the open. She didn't want to cry, not now, not on Christmas eve. She paused, focusing on her breathing to take her mind of everything else. In and out. In and out. In and… It caught as it came back out, her whole body shaking, her chest aching. Pulling herself together she sat back down in the chair at her desk, picking the pen up again and staring at the blank paper. It desperately needed to be filled.
Letting out one last heavy breath she put her pen to the crisp paper and began to write.
Dear Santa,
I've been good this year, really good, as I have been every year.
I only want one thing from you, and I bet you already know. Do I even have to write it? It's them same every single year.
I don't care about the presents, I don't need some fancy gift, something expensive that I'll like for a couple of months and then probably never touch again. I don't want a pony, or a CD player, or a cute new dress. I don't want a DVD, or a laptop, or a phone line in my room. I don't want a bike, or a car, or a puppy.
I don't even want to be famous! You can take that all away if you'll just give me this one thing.
All I want is Selena. Selena Gomez. That beautiful, amazing, funny girl who's my best friend. I want her to be more than just my best friend. I want her to love me like I love her.
I could understand if you weren't sure the first year, maybe even the second or the third. But I've loved her un-waveringly for nine years now, and I'll keep loving her for the rest of my life. And all I want this Christmas is for her to love me back.
It's torture every time we're together, when she holds my hand and kisses my cheek and whispers 'I love you… you're my best friend' in my ear. I want to cut the last four words out. And it's even worse when we're apart, because I can't live with out her. It hurts to breathe when she's not by my side. When she smiles it's the sweetest thing, and when that smile's directed at me I feel like the luckiest person alive. When I have to go away I watch wizards of Waverly place episodes over and over, but only the parts she's in, and I listen to her songs on repeat.
Please Santa, I'm begging you, this year bring me what I really want for Christmas. All I want for Christmas is her.
Yours sincerely,
Demi Lovato
By the time she finished there where tears streaming down her face and dripping onto the paper, blurring her name slightly as the warm salt water made the ink run. With a wrenching sob she stood up and walked into the bathroom, pulling a piece of toilet paper from the roll and dabbing instead of rubbing as the tears just kept coming. What was she doing? People where coming over in five minutes and Selena was one of those people. She didn't want her fiend to see her like that. She'd ask what was wrong and Demi wouldn't know what to say. As she sat down on the cold porcelain white toilet seat she heard knocking at her bed room door. Hoping that if she didn't reply they'd just go away, Demi stayed silent. For a while there was dead silence and then…
"Demi, it's me, Selena" a pause "I know your in their, your mum told me". Her voice sounded so sweet and sincere. Demi sighed, biting her lip nervously before she rose to her feet and headed over to the sink, leaning over it and taking in a long, shaky breath to try and calm herself.
"Come in, I'm just in the bathroom. I'll be out in a sec" she called back, keeping her voice as steady as possible. There was the low creak of her bed room door opening before she filled the small bathroom with the sound of rushing water. The water was ice cold as she splashed in onto her face, washing away the last remnants of tear stains and mascara streaks down her cheeks. Blindly she felt across the bench till she found the soft wash cloth and brought it up to her face, wiping away the droplets of icy water balancing on her eyes lashes.
She took her time, trying to pro-long it for as long as possible, but she had to face Selena sooner or later. Pushing open the door she left the stunningly white walls of her bathroom for her dimly lit bed room. Sweeping a hand back through her hair tiredly she looked around, spotting her friend standing by her desk.
"Hey" she tried to sound cheery as she walked over. Selena was dressed in tight blue jeans and a green T-shirt with a cute, Christmassy slogan across the chest. This years knitted Christmas sweater was hung over the back of Demi's chair now she was in the warmth of the house, brighter than last years (a vibrant red decorated in white snowflakes) and slightly better made (no odd holes or backwards seams).
Selena finally looked up, dark hair pushed back behind the red and green striped head band she wore every year. Demi expected to see a bright smile lighting up her face as it usually did on Christmas eve but she looked somewhere between thoughtful and confused, her brow wrinkled in the most adorable way. That's when Demi noticed Selena's hand was on the edge of the letter still lying out on her desk where she'd left it. A horribly sick feeling arose in her stomach like when she had too much pudding and lemonade at Christmas lunch. Her mouth was so dry it was hard to speak but she eventually managed to choke out the words hoarsely.
"Sel…" it was more a breath than a properly formed word "did you read it?" she croaked nervously, her voice cracking as she tried to get the words out. Her friend glanced back down at the letter guiltily, biting down on her already poppy red lips anxiously. Demi frowned, taking a step back. She could already feel the salty, hot tears forming again. There was a reason she'd never told her best friend, she knew she couldn't bare it if she were to loose her.
"I.. I'm sorry" Selena muttered before turning and quickly exiting the room. The Christmas lights outside her window kept blinking, red, green and white, lighting up her face with each different colour as a tear slipped down her cheek and hit the floor beneath her feet. She picked up the sweater still hung over the back of her chair and held it up, inhaling. It smelt like Selena, sweet and familiar and with a vague hint of chocolate crackles. After a moment she put it back and walked out her bedroom door and down the hall as slowly as possible. On Christmas eve they always drove around the city looking at everyone's Christmas lights. The Robinsons and the Mc Cains across town always had a competition to see who had the biggest and best Christmas decorations.
When Demi entered the living room there was no-one there. Everyone else was standing around outside, admiring the lights of the people across the road. They had the nativity scene on their front lawn and a Santa Claus that talked when it sensed movement near it. She didn't want to go out, she didn't want to face Selena, so she wandered into the kitchen for a snack. She remembered there was half a jar of pickles still in the fridge and pickles where her comfort food.
The kitchen was dark, the sun already set and none of the lights turned on, and as she entered she found Selena frozen in the fridge light with the jar of pickles in hand. Demi stopped, almost laughing at the sight but too upset to. Selena swallowed, an awkward silence falling between them as they stood watching each other. It lasted forever and was only broken when Demi's mother walked in through the front door, letting a cold breeze rush in and sweep over them both.
"We're about to leave, are you two ready?" she asked, smiling at the two of them as though everything was perfectly fine. Demi forced a smile back, nodding slowly, but Selena shivered and shook her head, glancing back towards the stairs leading up to the bedrooms.
"Umm… I just need to grab my sweater" she mumbled, putting the jar back in the fridge and closing the door before quickly hurrying back up the stairs towards Demi's room. Demi's mother smiled and headed back out to wait in the car leaving Demi alone in the dark kitchen. When Selena came back down she found her friend waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her, face half shrouded in shadow and wearing a look as thought she where deep in thought.
"I think.. maybe we should talk" she whispered as the other girl stopped on the last step, standing in front of her and wringing the sweater in her hands nervously "I never meant for you to read that. I never meant for you to know…". Selena stayed silent, letting Demi's statement hang in the air, making them both feel only more awkward. After a moment she finally spoke.
"Mistletoe". Demi frowned, not understanding. Mistletoe? What did that have to do with anything? After a moment she looked up, noticing the small sprig hung above them and blushed a deep red like hot coals. They both went silent again, eyes falling to the floor and glancing at the ceiling, anywhere but each other. Demi sighed, staring at her feet as she wiggled her toes boredly in her old sneakers.
"I umm.. I think your supposed to kiss me" Selena whispered, shuffling forward a little so the front of her feet hung over the edge of the carpeted stair. Demi looked up quickly, searching for her friends eyes in the dim lighting. Selena looked back at her softly, mouth curved in neither smile nor a frown, but looking slightly nervous and unsure. Demi swallowed, opening her mouth and then closing it again, not knowing how to react.
"Or, I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to…" the other girl muttered shyly, quickly looking down at her converse and admiring the penned graffiti on the side where Demi had written D.L + S.G 4 ever in a heart last fall. She was caught by surprise when she felt another pair of lips pressed against hers, a hot tingling sensation running through her entire body. The Christmas lights outside kept blinking, high lighting the two in flashes of red, green and white light as they stood kissing, hands intertwined beneath the mistletoe.
"Oh believe me I want to" Demi breathed as she pulled away, stilling keeping their faces close. Selena smiled sweetly, giving the other girl another chaste kiss and sighing as though a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
"I'm sorry about how I reacted before, but I do love you too" she replied, that familiar Christmas grin finally gracing her lips "come on, we better go before your mother gets mad!" she laughed, jumping down off the last step and heading towards the front door, leading Demi by the hand. As they passed the Santa Claus Demi suddenly stopped, letting go of Selena's hands to wrap her arms around him in a tight hug.
"Thank you Santa" she whispered in his ear, smiling brighter than all the Christmas lights around them "it's just what I wanted!".