UPDATED: Feb. 10, 2009 -- I noticed a lot of grammar errors, and a little inconsistency. I mentioned before that "There are no mentions of Shinigami and related stuff, so this can be AU, but can be canon, too." but I realized that there is in fact one time that I mentioned something about hollows in this fic, so I decided to edit it. XD Other than that, it's still the same. I tried correcting the grammar and spelling errors, so forgive me for any other slip-ups.

I originally wanted to post this on Christmas Day, but since I'll be busy by then, I forced myself to finish this today.

Credits to Lio Mangubat of Candy Mag PH for his article that inspired this fic.

I have always wanted to write this, and now, I finally have.

This is dedicated to Lazy Mew, ChibiKitty14, Mianne Krielle, and Bunny Slippers (I hope this could compensate for my lack of update. If you would please leave an e-mail address so I could explain to you why I haven't updated Schemes yet, I would greatly appreciate it.)

There is extreme Out-Of-Characterness in this fic, since I wanted to portray Ichigo and Rukia as any other normal couple. It's just funny to put the two in situations that normally occur in normal couples' lives. I hope you find this amusing as much as I did in writing it. Enjoy!

Ask Me Not

wickedsistah1024's 4th IchiRuki oneshot

Summary: There are questions that Ichigo (and men in general) dreads Rukia (and women in general) asking him (them). This is something we could all relate to.

10. Is that really what you're wearing?

Always Heard: Right before a date

Tone Of Voice: Accusing

Five days. That was all the time Ichigo had before his and Rukia's first year anniversary. And he was still clueless as to how to please the raven-haired woman. He was so damn desperate that he would've accepted any kind of help right now.

"ICHIGOOOOOO!"

Okay, perhaps except from his perverted father.

"Ow!" Isshin's foot connected solidly to Ichigo's chest. "What's your problem, old man?!" He forcefully shoved his father against his bedroom wall. Isshin's face met it with a resounding BAM!, and he slowly slid to the floor before bouncing back to his feet as if nothing happened.

"Guess what, my boy!" The elder Kurosaki wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.

"What?" Ichigo gruffly asked back, clearly in no mood for his father's silly games.

"Aw. You're no fun, Ichigo." Isshin shook his head in mock disappointment. Suddenly, he was by his son's side, his arm around Ichigo's shoulders as he held his other hand in front of the orange-head's face. And that hand held a rectangular piece of card. "I got you a reservation to a first class restaurant, Ichigo. It's for your anniversary!" Isshin yelled, obviously proud of his accomplishment.

Okay, screw not getting dad's help. Fathers know best.

"Thanks, old man." Ichigo snatched the reservation ticket from his father's grip and placed it in the pocket of his jeans. "I gotta go tell Rukia."

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Rukia had been so excited ever since she learned that Ichigo was taking her to a classy restaurant for their anniversary.

On the night of the dinner, she made sure she would look fabulous so that Ichigo would be proud enough to show such a lovely girlfriend to the world. She spent three hours dressing and dolling up, until she was finally satisfied with the way she looked. It was 7 in the evening, and their dinner reservation was at 8. She took one last glance at her beautiful self in the mirror before exiting the room to find her date.

Unlike Rukia, Ichigo only needed half an hour to get ready. He donned his favorite get up and applied cologne before stepping out of his room, just in time to see Rukia leaving hers. Amber met amethyst; the former, with undisguised admiration and attraction, the latter, with uninhibited shock.

"What the hell, Ichigo?" Rukia blurted out.

Ichigo simply blinked at her, too preoccupied with checking her out to reply.

"Is that really what you're wearing?" The raven-haired woman incredulously asked.

That broke Ichigo out of his stupor, and he looked down at himself. What was wrong with him? He was wearing his favorite pair of jeans, his "Nice Vibe" shirt, and sneakers, complete with a wrist band to complete his look, while Rukia was…well, Rukia was wearing an elegant strapless black dress that hugged her curves and flowed freely from the hips to her knees, and matched it with black strapped high heels.

Ichigo heard Rukia groan in frustration while he was still in the middle of contemplation. He was aggressively dragged from his spot towards the twins' room.

Rukia shoved him and herself in front of the full length mirror. "So, what do you look like?" She asked, irritated. Her eyebrows started twitching as Ichigo remained silent, concentrating on his reflection on the mirror.

Ichigo stared at the two of them on the mirror, standing side by side. He wasn't really sure of what to say, or what his petite girlfriend wanted to hear. "Uh…stupid?"

Unfortunately, that response earned him a violent kick in the shin.

"That's given, baka! You look like my freakin' bodyguard, Ichigo!" Rukia snapped.

"WHAT?!" Ichigo yelled, now annoyed. "What do you—"

"Look, Ichigo. I tried so hard to dress up for this occasion…to dress up for you. It's because this occasion is special to me, and I want you to be able to hold your head high while I walk beside you."

Ichigo's eyes softened as he stared at Rukia whose head now hung low. He took her chin with his hand so that their eyes would meet. "Rukia, you should know that whatever you look like, I'd still be proud of walking next to you."

Rukia suppressed the smile that pulled on her lips and instead pouted childishly. "Well I'm not, and it's bad enough that you have orange hair. You'll even attract more attention looking like that while I stand next to you. Come on, it's still early, let's go buy you a suit."

The night ended up with a very satisfied Rukia, and a mourning Ichigo who now held his empty wallet. Apparently, his little girlfriend had been reading too much fashion magazines and decided to take him to an expensive store to buy a suit. And that reservation from his dad was just that—a reservation. The food and other expenses were shouldered by the poor orange-haired man…alone.

9. Angelina or Jennifer?

Always Heard: At Philosophical Moments

Tone Of Voice: Scholarly

Yuzu and Karin were watching the television after dinner when Rukia decied to join them. They were watching the entertainment news on a foreign channel which featured Angelina Jolie being pregnant again. Moments later, Jennifer Aniston was shown, happy at her current state with rumored boyfriend John Meyer.

When the show ended, the girls couldn't find anything else interesting enough to watch, so they agreed to retire to their rooms. Rukia, however, thought that it was still too early, and decided to go bug Ichigo (who shooed her away earlier to avoid distraction from his studying for a major test). She entered his room unceremoniously and asked, "Angelina or Jennifer?"

Ichigo, who was hunched on his desk reading intently, lifted his head slightly to look at her. "Huh?"

"Angelina or Jennifer?" Rukia repeated her question as she strolled towards his bed and plopped down.

Ichigo's eyebrows shot up in confusion. "What?"

Rukia sighed in exasperation, probably annoyed at Ichigo's stupidity. "Who do you think deserves Brad Pitt better? Angelina or Jennifer?"

Oh, hell no. Ichigo mentally groaned in frustration. Heck, that issue was way too old for discussion. He wouldn't kill his brain cells trying to come up with some logical explanation as to why one girl was better than the other knowing full well that it wouldn't sit well with an insatiable Rukia.

Unless she was asking about who was hotter—which he damn well knew who to answer—then he'll just keep his mouth shut.

So, thinking himself a genius for thinking of an effective plan, he went back to the book he was reading and acted as if he heard nothing.

Rukia repeated the question a few more times, but Ichigo droned her out.

Ah, he should have known that he couldn't get away with such an act.

Rukia didn't speak to him for two weeks after that.

8. Why do you spend so much money on (insert name of weird guy hobby such as toys, comics, or soccer jerseys)?

Always Heard: When She Sees His Room

Tone Of Voice: Weirded out

Ichigo looked at his now tidy room. He had just finished cleaning his bedroom, and now was taking the trash out. He returned to his room and found that he had successfully organized his things: the books, the clothes, other school stuff…and he stared, deep in thought, at his collection of Shakespeare's works and Al Pacino movies—that he used to keep under his bed—which now sat on his desk.

"Now where do I put these?" His eyes lazily scanned the room and found no corner available for it. He sighed and continued searching when his eyes fell on his closet.

"Ah!"

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..

Ichigo's alarm clock rang loudly that morning, and he was jerked awake instantly as it started. He pressed the snooze button to silence his clock, just as he heard a thumping noise—something that suspiciously sounded like pounding on wood—right inside his closet.

He immediately stood up and walked towards it.

"Ichigo!"

He heard someone—and he had a very good idea of who it was—call him from the inside. He frantically slid open the door and found his girlfriend lying on the futon inside the closet, nursing her offended forehead.

"Rukia? What are you doing there?"

She scowled at him as she slowly slid out of the closet. "I missed my closet, okay? I decided to sleep here last night."

"What happened to your forehead?" He asked, knowing the answer himself. He took her hand off her now reddish skin and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

"I woke up when your alarm clock rang, and I immediately sat up. I didn't know I had grown tall and that I could reach the closet roof."

Ichigo laughed as he wrapped his arms around the still petite woman. "Baka, I placed a shelf on top of yours."

Rukia pushed him away. "What?" She turned around, and true enough, there was another shelf on the closet. "What the hell for?"

"Well, I couldn't find a place to put my other things, " he said as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head.

Rukia reached out—on her tiptoes—for the top shelf and grabbed the first object she could lay her hand on. She stare at the book—Hamlet—and looked at Ichigo with disbelief. She ran to his bed to get the proper elevation, and from there, she had a clear view of what else was on the shelf.—Shakespeare and Al Pacino.

Ichigo stood beside the bed, taking hold of Rukia's waist. He smiled, thinking of how he only reached her chest when she stood on top of his bed, before he was hit on the head violently—by Hamlet, no less!

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" He asked, rubbing the back of his orange head.

"Why do you spend so much money on this junk, Ichigo? You're just wasting cash." She scolded.

"I am not!" Ichigo answered back hotly, angry now. "Shakespeare and Al Pacino are good investments!"

"Investment? The investment you should be focusing on is with the bank! For the future of our children!"

Ichigo blushed madly at that, all traces of anger gone. They weren't married yet. Heck, they weren't even sharing a room! And now she was talking of children?

He sighed in a resigned fashion at his irate girlfriend but couldn't help the smile that graced his face.

He would have to start that investment soon.

7. What looks better on me, this or this?

Always Heard: While Shopping

Tone Of Voice: Panicked

It was a bright, sunny morning, and everything seemed pretty normal in the Kurosaki household. Until…

"ICHIGO!" Rukia screamed hysterically from the front door.

Ichigo, who had just finished taking a bath and was still naked, hastily put on the first pair of boxers he was able to reach and rushed without hesitation to where the woman was.

"What? What is it?" He asked as he reached her side.

Rukia turned around to gaze at him with a wide smile. She waved an envelope in front of him and giggled. "Look."

Ichigo scowled at the annoying piece of scented paper. "You called for me just because you received a piece of paper?"

"Baka!" She aimed a punch to his chin, but it came out half-heartedly, as she was still giddy and excited. "This is from Inoue and Ishida. We're invited to their engagement party!"

"Inoue and Ishida? What an odd couple." Ichigo mumbled, apparently not getting what the woman was getting at.

Rukia scoffed. "No one else could be odder than us, Ichigo."

The orange-haired man grinned mischievously and wrapped his arms around Rukia. "We're not odd. We're…a perfect fit."

Rukia pulled away and rolled her eyes. "You're out of topic, Ichigo."

Ichigo raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Inoue and Ishida are getting engaged, what else is there?"

"It's a formal party, Ichigo. I need to buy clothes!" Rukia finally pointed out.

"Why can't you just use your old ones?" Ichigo grumbled.

"Baka! Ishida and Inoue get engaged only once! We should at least look good for the occasion!"

"Fine, fine. Go get dressed." Ichigo muttered in defeat.

"Speak for yourself, Ichigo." Rukia ran upstairs, leaving Ichigo staring down at his half-naked self. Karina and Yuzu soon reached the front door, curious about all the screaming, but stopped dead in their tracks upon seeing their older brother in nothing but boxers.

Karin cracked up and held her stomach with her arms to control her laughing, while Yuzu blushed as she stifled a giggle.

Apparently, the boxers on top of the pile—the first he was able to take hold of and was now wearing—was Rukia's gift to him, one that was printed with her favorite character of all time: Chappy.

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The orange-haired man successfully managed to convince his girlfriend that buying a dress at the mall was the same as buying one in a boutique.

His only mistake was that he didn't take into consideration the fact that the mall had more options than a boutique, and so he spent four hours of wandering, since his little girlfriend couldn't find dresses of her size in the women's section, yet she adamantly refused to look at the children's wear department.

He finally got tired of trailing after her and sat down on one of the couches placed in the middle of the store for tired shoppers.

"Just come find me when you've finally chosen a dress." He had told her earlier. That was about...an hour ago. Ichigo finally got fed up of waiting and stood up to search for the raven-haired woman, wondering idly if she finally went to the kids' apparel section. He found her running towards the fitting room carrying a pink dress that he knew, even from quite a distance, would look absolutely wonderful on her.

He slowly made his way towards the fitting area, giving Rukia enough time to try the dress on. After a few moments, he knocked on the closed door of the cubicle where he saw her enter. "Rukia, you done in there?"

"Wait, I'm trying another dress on." There were a few shuffling of clothes heard behind the door, and soon, the rectangular piece of wood opened, revealing Rukia in the sexy pink dress. Its top was corset-like, and it was strapless. The skirt was cut asymmetrically, the longer side ending just below her knee, leaving the other side to reveal a little skin on her thigh. She looked amazing to Ichigo. "Well?" She asked.

As he had predicted earlier, she looked wonderful. "You look...fantastic." Ichigo managed to say through his gaping.

"Really? Wait, let me put on the other one I got." She closed the door again, pleased with her boyfriend's reaction.

Minutes later, it reopened, revealing Rukia in a sexy blue number.

She was breath-taking to Ichigo.

"So, Ichigo, what looks better on me: this," she showed the pink dress she tried on earlier, "or this?" she pointed to the dress she now wore.

"You look...what the hell, Rukia?! That's the same dress! Only of a different color!"

WHACK!

"This is serious, Ichigo! You're not helping!" She hissed, apparently panicked and confused as to which choice to make.

"BUT—"

WHACK!

"I'll ask you again, Ichigo. What looks better on me?"

Needless to say, Ichigo ended up buying both...

...and since Rukia couldn't decide which to wear on the night of the engagement party, she decided to just use one of her old dresses.

6. Is it okay if you pick me up at 5 am tomorrow?

Always Heard: The Night Before

Tone Of Voice: Concerned

"You sure you're gonna be fine?" Ichigo asked, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

They were in the train station. Rukia had been invited by Tatsuki and the girls to join them on a "girls only" weekend, which in some way was Orihime's bridal shower, to be held at Tatsuki's aunt's house. It was the first time that Rukia would leave Karakura-cho without Ichigo since they got together, and the orange-haired man was extremely worried.

Rukia rolled her eyes at his anxious expression. "I'll be fine, Ichigo. You worry too much."

Ichigo frowned. "What's wrong with being worried about you?"

Rukia just sighed. She actually found his being a worrywart a little sweet. "I'll call you when I get there, and when I'll be back, okay?"

"You sure you don't want me to come with you? I'm sure Tatsuki wouldn't mind." He tried to argue again.

"Pssh. She wouldn't, but it would be too awkward to have a bridal shower with you around. And I'll be gone for two nights and one day only."

Ichigo groaned, finally accepting defeat. "Fine. Call me, okay?" He took her cheeks in his hands and gave her a sweet kiss. "You take care."

"Yeah, you, too." She boarded the train and waved goodbye at him.

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It was Friday afternoon when the raven-haired woman left for her trip. Saturday was soon coming to a close. To Ichigo's relief, Rukia was due to return the next day. If truth be told, Ichigo missed her. A lot. And it had only been a little over 24 hours since they parted.

He sat by his desk, expecting a call from her first thing in the morning tomorrow, telling him that she'll be home soon. He grinned as he thought of surprising her at the train station tomorrow. Strong woman or not, Ichigo didn't like the idea of letting his still-a-little-too-clueless girlfriend wander alone.

With that in mind, he finally closed his eyes to get some nap. He had, after all, some pending work to finish for med school tonight. A little nap won't hurt.

And just as sleep was about to consume him, his phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered groggily.

"Uhm...Ichigo?" It was his Rukia. Oh how he missed that voice. He instantly sat up and replied, rather enthusiastically, "Hey!"

"Uhh...you said I should call you when I'm about to come home, right?" She sounded shy.

"Yeah, what time will you be arriving?" He inquired excitedly, giving him away.

"Why? Will you be picking me up?" She guessed.

Ichigo couldn't help but grin. He couldn't lie to Rukia, so there goes his surprise out the window. "Yes, of course."

"Then...will you pick me up at 5 am tomorrow?"

Ichigo's grin dropped immediately. He looked at his alarm clock. 10:55. Damn. "5 am? Why that early?" Ichigo had this suspicious feeling that it was exactly the reason she called him. The 'I should call you when I'm about to come home' was just a pretense.

There was a pause. And all Ichigo heard from the other line was an "Oh."

He sighed in defeat. No matter what her tone of voice was, he knew better. It wasn't a request—it was a military order pretending to be one.

5. Did you notice something different about me today?
Always Heard: After A "Makeover"
Tone Of Voice: Leading

Ichigo sleepily made his way to the train station early that morning. He hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, what with all the work for med school that he finished after his girlfriend's call. He finished a few minutes before he had to prepare to pick her up, and realized it would be futile to try to get some shut-eye, so he didn't bother.

He stood in the midst of a sea of strangers, searching for his petite girlfriend.

His amber eyes soon locked with her familiar amethyst orbs, and she beamed as she made her way to him. Ichigo couldn't help but smile back, albeit sleepily, at the sight of her as he met her halfway. He took her into his arms and gave her a welcome back kiss. When he pulled away, he took her things—she was carrying another bag other than the one she originally carried when she left, possibly filled with random things from the place she came from—and held one of her hands in his.

But before he could take more than two steps, she stopped him.

Ichigo looked back at her in confusion, but she only ran her hand through her hair. He tried walking again, but his hand was tugged back as Rukia stubbornly stayed rooted on her spot.

"What?" Ichigo demanded.

Rukia sighed in exasperation. "Did you notice something different about me today?"

Ichigo knew he was in hot water with this one. He yawned, scratched his head, pretended trying to fully wake himself, hummed, and continued to apply many other delaying tactics while covertly checking his girlfriend out from head to toe.

However, his sleep-deprived mind hindered him from seeing just what it was that was different with her, so he inconspicuously crossed his fingers behind him and said the safest lie he could think of.

"Oh, did you get a new haircut?"

He, of course, was wrong, and ended up with a slap mark on his face courtesy of Rukia's newly manicured hand.

4. Don't you think (name of supposedly handsome guy) is cute?
Always Heard: After Seeing A Supposedly Handsome Guy
Tone Of Voice: Dreamy

Ichigo and Rukia were both watching the television after dinner. And that damned entertainment news show was on again.

Ichigo's hand was itching real badly to take the cursed remote control and change the channel, when he suddenly remembered that nothing good was on. It was either that, or get stuck in the colorful world of that fluffy white abomination called Chappy, and he would much rather commit suicide than watch that damned rabbit show.

As he stared at the TV screen, he silently prayed to all the gods that neither Angelina nor Jennifer would be shown the entire night.

It was during the end of the show that Ichigo let himself heave a sigh of relief that his prayers seemed to be answered. However, he missed one more wish.

The final story for the night featured Brad Pitt.

"Aww." Rukia said as he groaned. "Don't you think Brad Pitt is cute? I wouldn't blame Angelina or Jennifer for falling for him." Rukia stared dreamily at the man on the television, while Ichigo only scowled deeper beside her. He thought he was saved from having to comment anything, but the raven-haired woman just had to suddenly turn to face him, looking expectantly for a response.

Ichigo kept his lips sealed. The last time he did this, he really had a hard time apologizing to Rukia (she didn't speak to him for two weeks), and he promised to never ignore her again. But heck, what was he supposed to say this time? 'Yeah, I agree'? Watching Chappy would have been less degrading!

To every single one of the male species, the most handsome and "cutest", no matter how childish it seemed, is himself. And having your own girlfriend ogle at another man in front of your very own eyes was a huge blow to the pride.

"Hey, Ichigo." Rukia suddenly said, breaking his thoughts. She held his face in her hands and smiled. He almost returned the gesture, when she spoke again. "Would you stop scowling for a second? Let's see if we can get you to look like Brad Pitt even just a little."

Ichigo's scowl deepened even more.

3. Who's that girl?

Always Heard: Whenever He Meets Or Interacts With Another Female

Tone Of Voice: Simmering With Rage

It was Friday afternoon, and Ichigo was so looking forward to a weekend away from med school after the hectic week he just went through.

True, it was his passion, but still, sometimes, it was good to take a break from it and relax once in a while.

He smiled excitedly as he made his way out of the campus, waving at friends he met along the way.

"You look like you're in a hurry, huh?" A voice from behind him said.

Ichigo quickly turned around to come face to face with his lab partner in one of his major subjects, Sunako. He chuckled as he nodded in affirmation.

"Yeah."

"Can't wait to see your cute girlfriend, I suppose." Sunako teased as she fell in step beside the orange-haired man.

"Kind of." Ichigo had gotten quite close to this lab partner of his, sometime even sharing a few stories here and there about him and Rukia (Especially during those time he comes to class in a foul mood. Sunako would always try to cheer him up and ask what the problem is). "I don't get to spend time with her anymore because of school, so I look forward to every chance I get."

She nodded in understanding. "Well, I hope all goes well. Good luck!" Ichigo smiled and waved at her as she walked on a different path, probably to meet up with her boyfriend. He continued trudging towards the campus gates, and just as he reached it, he abruptly stopped walking.

Why, you ask?

Simply because he could feel the aura radiating from a certain raven-haired woman who happened to be standing right outside the gate, heavy with murderous intent. He gulped as he realized it was directed at him.

Apparently, his girlfriend got tired of waiting for him back home (they had their own now—and it was a gift from Isshin!) and decided to surprise him.

"Who's that girl?"

It was a fairly innocent question, really. Except that Rukia had "the look"—complete with the crossing of arms, pursing of lips, and the suspicious narrowing of the eyes.

It wasn't the first time it happened, yet Ichigo never learned his lesson. For some reason, he always ends up saying the wrong thing. "Oh, she's just a friend."

Apparently, that answer never satisfies Rukia. "That was what you always told your friends about me back in high school!"

Uh-Oh.

2. Do you think I'm fat?

Always Heard: Every…Single…Darn…Day

Tone Of Voice: Depressed

After breakfast, Rukia almost always makes a sudden disappearance. This has piqued Ichigo's curiosity, and he had seen her a lot of times locking herself up in the bathroom.

Once again, after today's breakfast, she gave him a swift kiss on the cheek, perhaps an indication that she won't be there to see him leave for school, and ran upstairs. He now knew what was waiting for him once he followed, and yet, every single day, he still trailed after her.

He opened the door to their bathroom and saw Rukia in front of the full length mirror, turning left and right, holding her waist, then her hips, and then her face. When she spotted Ichigo entering, she asked, "Do you think I'm fat? I'm afraid the lack of hollow activity in the area has deprived me of my much-needed exercise." She sounded upset and hopeless, and Ichigo didn't have the heart to ignore her. She always asks him this, yet to date, he still didn't know the right answer.

He gave Rukia a once-over, and thought about how absolutely sexy she was to him. "No," he absentmindedly answered. Again.

Rukia stared at him even more hopelessly, if that was possible. Again.

"So you think I'm still as thin as a stick?"

"What? No!"

"So I'm fat?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean…" Ichigo pulled at his hair in frustration.

Ah, this is a question every man will be faced with at least once in their lives. Philosophers may debate about this for centuries to come, but this is quite possibly the only question in the world with no right answer. Whatever comes out of a guy's mouth only makes a girl feel worse.

..

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..

..

It was Karin and Yuzu's birthday, and Ichigo and Rukia were invited over to the Kurosaki home. The raven-haired woman seemed all too eager to celebrate with them, still fascinated by this kind of festivities.

Rukia particularly liked the chocolate cake-eating part best, and she ended up gobbling almost half of it by herself. Ichigo gave her his own share, contented with just staring at his adorable girlfriend. He laughed when she choked on a particularly large helping of the cake. He made the biggest mistake when he teased her about it.

"Don't eat too much, you'll get too fat."

Rukia stiffened in an instant, and then that all-too-familiar hopeless look graced her features.

"Do you think I'm fat?"

Here we go again.

1. Can we talk?
Always Heard: Before The End Of The World

Tone Of Voice: Quiet

Ichigo heaved a heavy sigh. They just had another argument that morning. For the past few days, their simple bickering always ended up in full-blown fights. Rukia had been extremely livid and irritated, and Ichigo was wondering just what the hell was wrong with her. It had been one of the downsides in having a place of their own—no one to play mediator in their fights.

He left early that morning to go to school after another screaming match. He didn't even bother trying to solve their problem before leaving. His patience had been stretched far too thin, and he needed some time to cool off.

He couldn't concentrate on his classes, though. All day, he could only think of the good memories he and Rukia shared with each other, and those were enough for him to put on a smile on his face despite the morning spat. Rukia was too precious to him, and he couldn't let these quarrels break them apart. He would apologize to her when he comes home.

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..

Ichigo excitedly made his way to the door, smiling at the prospect of him and Rukia being on good terms again after his planned apology. He didn't care who was wrong and who was right, just that he had to make up with her.

He opened the door: the house was shrouded in darkness, rendering his sight useless. His hearbeat sped slightly; usually, by this time, Rukia was at the kitchen, cooking their dinner (no matter how angry she was, she couldn't stand the thought of starving him when he was too tired from school). He walked further in, fear slowly gripping his heart. Only two possibilities materialized in his brain.

One, something happened. Two, she left him.

He couldn't decide which would hurt more; his mind refused to function…to weigh his options.

"Ichigo." Her voice, strangely quiet and barely above a whisper, stopped him dead in his tracks.

Relief flowed throughout his body for a moment, glad to know that the first possibility was now void. His fear came back immediately after he processed her tone. Possibility two was still that…a possibility. He turned his head to the living room where he heard her voice, and slowly walked towards her, stumbling in the darkness. He felt her warmth sitting on the couch, so he sat beside her. He was worried and concerned, but nevertheless still prepared to deliver his apology speech that he composed earlier.

"Can we talk?"

He froze. Nothing turned his knees to jelly quite like those three small words. He knew what would happen next—he saw it one too many times in movies, read it in books: long serious talks, nasty arguments, finger pointing, the threat of break-ups, actual break-ups and general unpleasantness along those lines. His heartbeat sped up even more as he frantically scanned his thoughts of ways on how to stop this. He couldn't lose her. He just couldn't.

"Rukia," he blurted out. "I'm sorry for all the stupid things I have done. I know I'm such a moron at times, and it has been hard for you to put up with me. But Rukia, I love you. With all of my heart. Heck, with all of my soul! I'll stop pestering you. I won't talk to nay other girls again—not even to my lab partner! I' never tease you about being fat. I'll buy you every dress you want in every color you want…I'll stop collecting Shakespeare and Al Pacino…Just…just please, give me a chance to make things right, Rukia. I…I need you." He took her into his arms and held her tightly.

Rukia was shell-shocked, unable to speak a single coherent word throughout his entire tirade. And now, she was openly gaping at him in disbelief. "Ichi—"

"Please, Rukia!" He pleaded, his voice breaking and his arms tightening around her.

"I…You promise?" She asked.

"Yes!" He answered without a moment's hesitation.

"Well…I need to tell you something first." She gently took his face in her hands and stared at his teary and pleading amber eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but Rukia silenced him with a finger to his lips. "I'm sorry for snapping at you all the time, Ichigo. This week had been really hard for me, and my mood swings were kicking in whenever you're around. I didn't mean to yell at you and curse you and fight with you. It's just that…a woman can't control her emotions when she's…pregnant."

Ichigo's jaw dropped as he stared atRukia in wide-eyed wonder. Suddenly, all the lights in the house went on and several party poppers popped. A very familiar—and irritating—voice yelled, "Congratulations, my boy! You knocked her up pretty good! Oh, Masaki! We're having a grandchild soon!", followed by a few "Congratulations!".

Ichigo whipped his head and gazed incredulously at his family, Chad, Ishida, Inoue, Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro, Urahara, Yoruichi, Tessai, Jinta, Ururu…and even Renji and Byakuya looking at him with murderous intent. Next to them was a very large banner posted on the wall saying, "Congratulations, future daddy!"

Ichigo just wanted to faint. And so, he did.

..

..

..

..

The both lay in bed that night after successfully kicking everyone out (and convincing Byakuya that he could and WOULD take care of his little sister). Rukia was still smiling as he contemplated about what happened earlier.

He was going to be a father. And damn it all, he was excited about it.

"So…Ichigo…are you excited?" Rukia asked.

"Very," he answered as he played with her raven locks.

"What do you think the gender of the baby will be?"

Oh no, not the questions again.

"Would you like a boy better? Or a girl?"

"Would the baby have your eyes or mine? How about the hair?"

"What would we name our baby?"

Ichigo groaned at all the questions she threw at him. He stared at her moonlit face as she continued to prattle, when he finally found a very effective escape.

And so, he claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.

—THE END—

So was the ending corny or what? I hope you enjoyed that somehow.

Sorry for all the errors, I did this in a rush.

Please let me know what you thought of it, I'd really like to hear from you.

Thanks for reading! Enjoy the holidays!

Joyeux Noël!