written by Neko-B
[email protected]
When I was about ten or eleven, I don't remember which, a new kid came to our school. He had black hair and equally dark eyes that were always wide open. His name? Zim. Strange name for a 7th grader, right? But that's not the part that caught my eye.
He looked like nobody else I had ever seen. His skin was a light shade of green, and he didn't have any ears. Birth defect, maybe. He wore the same red shirt everyday, and the same black shoes. Of course, being the dork that my brother, Dib, is, he immediately began accusing Zim of being an alien from outer space. He's really into things like that, the abnormal and other whatnot.
Maybe it's just because my brother hated him, maybe it was just because he was just as lonely as I was, but...
I loved him. I can't begin to tell you why I loved him. There was something attractive about him, and it made me want to just grab him and plant kisses all over him. But, being only eleven and as stubborn as I was, I refused to let anybody know. I didn't talk about him or oogle over him like any other normal girl would have. But I'm not normal, keep that in mind. He knew who I was, we talked in the hallways every once in awhile. Every time I saw him, my heart would just melt. He was one of the only friends I had, and I loved him for it. But I was in love with him at the same time. But, realizing we could never have a relationship, I acted somewhat arrogant towards him. That's how I hide my feelings, I suppose.
I moved on with my life. I dated other guys. But Zim still stuck out in my mind like a sore thumb. He had grown up along with me, being eighteen when I was sixteen. As we grew older, he and I became closer. He confided in me a little more. And I did the same. But at the same time, I remained cold and distant. I was just so afrad that I'd lose him that I was afraid of beginning anything to being with. So I hid my true feelings for years.
But one day, he came to my door. It was a Thursday night, cold and rainy outside. I remember because I was drawing a picture of the landscape from the other side of my window. There was a sharp, distinct knock at the door, so I groaned and got up to answer it.
When I opened the door, Zim stood on my porch, cold and wet and shivering. "Gaz?" he said.
"What do you want?" I snapped.
"Mind if I come in? It's cold, and I don't want to go home just yet."
"Fine, if you must." I showed him inside and made myself comfortable on the couch again. He sat at the opposite end, just staring at me.
"What, do I have something stuck on my face?" I asked him, drawing my knees closer to my chest. "Why do you keep staring at me?"
"I've... never seen a girl this close before," he replied. He scooted a little closer to me. I could feel the blood rushing to my face, and I tried to hide it with my notebook. "Are you okay? You're turning red." He tilted his head as he spoke.
"Fine, just dandy," I replied through clenched teeth. *Don't break now, Gaz,* I told myself silently. *You've been able to hide your affection all this time, you can keep it up!*
"Gaz, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Why are you so... I don't know how to word this nicely... why are you so stand-offish towards others?"
I looked up at him as I replied. "Because nobody understands me. They don't know what's going on through my head. They try to help me, but all they do is laugh at me behind their backs. So I don't let anybody know the real me anymore." I looked down at my notebook and began scribbling away again.
"Who is the real you?" Zim asked me. "I'd... like to know."
I felt my face soften as I spoke. "I'm just an average, misunderstood girl, who dreams of something more."
Zim grinned. He stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Do you think I could get to know the real you, someday?"
I had to look away. His eyes were burning holes into me. "All right," I replied. "I'd like that." I felt my face twitch, and a very small smile formed on my lips. I looked up at him as I did so.
Zim grinned. "You have a very nice smile, y'know that?"
"...no, I didn't."
"Well, you do now." In a very swift moment, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against mine. I kissed him in return, feeling a hot feverish feeling rush to my face. His lips were small, practically non-existent, but they were twice as soft.
When he pulled away, he looked just as nervous as I felt. "I'd better be going." He showed himself the door and slammed it shut behind him.
I shrugged, and began doodling in my notebook again. But as I did so, my lips formed into another smile.
The first genuine smile I'd smiled in my entire life.
(owari)