Christmas

The twenty-third came and I did not go to Angela's party making my fib true, Charlie and I actually did go to Billy and Jacob's for dinner.

Surprisingly I found that I liked it in La Push, of course I liked it even more since there were no memories of Edward there. Only the memories of Jacob and that day at First Beach when he told me his 'scary stories' that actually turned out to be more true than just an old tribe legend. However, I had never told Jacob that.

Jacob had grown a full head taller since the last time that I'd seen him, although Jacob's growth spurts didn't seem like news to Charlie. He was around La Push often enough not to notice what was happened right in front of his eyes; Charlie was blissfully ignorant to the strange things that happened to go on in and around Forks.

Sitting down to dinner with Billy and Jake was comfortable, you didn't have to put on airs and for a while I actually found myself having a good time. Billy was a good man and looking into that wizened broad face of his, I couldn't help but trust him, but forgive him for trying to make me break up with my then vampire boyfriend. Billy had been trying to protect me from a pain that I didn't need, only the pain he had been thinking of was only minor to living without the most perfect creature I had ever laid eyes on. At dinner I got the strange notion that Billy and Jake hadn't cooked a table full just for us which at our house this would have been a whole weeks worth of groceries. It couldn't have been just for Charlie and I, not the way Jacob was putting it away. It was like there was a bottomless pit and Jake was it!

After dinner, Billy and Charlie retreated to the front room to watch the game. I'd long since stopped paying attention to what sport it was. With Charlie there was always 'some' game on. I guess old habits died hard. Charlie had spent too many years setting his daily routine just to stop it when I decided to come and live with him, although when given the news he'd seemed genuinely happy with the idea that I would be staying with him with any degree of permanence.

Since I was of no use in the living room I started helping Jacob with the table.

"You don't have to do that Bella, I've got it."

Taking up the plates and silverware I shrugged. "It's alright Jake, I want to help."

Jake's russet skin was only enhanced by the brightness of his gleaming teeth as he smiled and began to run dish water. I supposed no one in the state of Washington had ever heard of a dishwasher.

Being with Jake was easy, there was no need to fill the silence with artificial chit chat we just kind of understood one another.

"I'm glad you and Charlie decided to come tonight," and he had to ruin it.

"We were starting to worry about you, you know after Cullen left and all." You just had to keep to talking didn't you?

Drying the last dish I nodded a little bit pulling the damp dish rag up to my chest to ease the painful burning sensation.

Jake seemed to see where the conversation was leading him. The zombie state crept back. As much as I tried to hide the pain, Jake still noticed.

"You wanna go out to the garage and take a look at the rabbit?" Jake asked flashing his big puppy dog eyes.

I was relieved for the change of subject. "I'd love to." I put the dish rag down and grabbed my jacket off my chair following Jack into the living room.

"We're going out to the garage."

I found it sweet that Jacob still asked permission before doing something, it was what all good kids did and for some reason just because I was eighteen now it didn't mean I was an adult but then again how much trouble could an eighteen year old and a sixteen year old get into in La Push?

As Jacob and I walked out the door I could almost feel Charlie and Billy smile at each other and couldn't shake the feeling this as all a set up of some kind.

In the garage, if one could call it a garage, Jacob showed me his vintage volks wagon Rabbit. He explained that he had been working on it all summer long when he hit a road block with a certain elusive part that he just couldn't get his hands on.

"That master cylinder thingy?" I said actually remembering his mentioning it at First Beach.

"Yeah, that's the one."

Jacob seemed overly happy that I had remembered the part he was looking for and I almost could see the wheels inside his head turning. Uh oh, I was going to have to squash that look of hope really soon or else I would have another Mike Newton to deal with. But Jacob was so nice; I really didn't want to hurt his feelings. After the other day with Mike I didn't care if he never spoke to me again.

I sympathized as best as I could considering I really didn't know diddly squat about cars. But Jake made it easy to understand, he'd make a great mechanic someday, heck he'd make a great mechanic now if he wanted too, if Billy would let him. But I already know that Billy would really want Jacob to finish high school and make something of himself, strangely I found myself wanting that very same thing. I didn't think of Jacob as a kid that needed to be told what to do but as my friend who I would be genuinely concerned for should anything happen to him or if he decided to throw his whole life away.

Just as moments before I had been cautioning myself to take it easy with Jake and not give him any ideas, I found myself sitting in the rabbit with him drinking warm soda pops and talking to him about everything, about school, life, Edward. Even though Jake seemed to have a true dislike of Edward it didn't seem to be for any of the reasons that Billy did. Jake only disliked him for leaving me the empty shell that it always felt like I was. I was glad when the subject turned to Jacob and he was talking about his rabbit and what he would do when he finally got that master cylinder.

"When you get it, you can come down to Forks and we can hang out." And I wasn't just telling tales either. It would have been nice to have Jacob around to talk to.

Once again there was that look of hope in his eyes, I ignored it.

"Have you checked the junk yards?" I asked looking for a loop hole that would somehow take his mind off of a whirlwind romance with yours truly.

"Not really, if I did I wouldn't have any way to get to one." Jake said lamely looking over the steering wheel.

And that's when it hit me like a tone of bricks or like a living marble statue of what I could do. I had money saved up, it was supposed to go into a college found but with the way my grades had been the past few months I doubted that I had any luck of getting into any college. I needed a project to take my mind off of everything including Edward and all of the Cullen's, but I didn't just miss Edward I missed all of them. Even Jasper as hard as it was to believe.

"Well I have my truckā€¦" I trailed off looking down into my lap for a second. "We could call around and see if any junk yards have one and if not we could go to an auto parts store in Seattle or another town in between." I could actually feel myself getting excited about this. I'd be out of Forks all the places that reminded me of Edward and I would be with a friend I could really talk to. Someone who understood me, and as weird as it sounded I understood Jacob too.

"Really?! You'd want to do that?" Jacob had a question in his eyes that was completely different from the one he'd asked. I would need to issue a certain degree of diplomacy in this.

"Sure? I mean we could hang out while you're fixing up the rabbit and ya know it would give us something to do on the weekends and after school." I said. "Friends can do that can't they?" I added at the end trying to as tactfully as I could let Jake now that I was only interested in being his friend without somehow hurting his feelings.

"Yeah." Jake said smiling his brilliant smile. "They can."

It almost hurt looking at him. He was so sweet and here I was just using him even though I really did want him as my friend. He was hoping for something that would never happen between us. But maybe hanging out together would clear those hopes away. Sticking my hand out, it was lame I know but I smiled.

"Shake on it?"


Christmas came and went that week filled with a few phone calls from Jake and trying to reestablish myself in the human race. I called Angela Christmas Eve morning to wish her a Merry Christmas and apologize for not being able to make it too her party. Ange didn't seem to mind at all she'd known I had other plans and she didn't make a big deal about it. She wished me and Charlie a Merry Christmas as well before we both said our good-byes and got off the phone.

Rene called twice Christmas day while I was cooking and nearly burnt the sweet potato casserole but it was okay. It was good to hear her voice. She sounded happy but a little sad that I wasn't with her and Paul. Paul called out his Christmas wishes over the phone just as I burned my thumb getting steaming mashed sweet potatoes out of the oven. Christmas with Charlie was different from when I was a kid but it was still nice. He was off work the whole day and miraculously there were no phone calls for Chief Swan that day either. Charlie watched the game occasionally that day while trying to help me in the kitchen. I could already feel a tradition in the making as he showed me how grandma Swan used to make her stuffing for the bird and we both got messy dressing the poor turkey.

At six o'clock we both sat down to Christmas dinner together for the first time in I can't remember in how many years. Charlie complimented my cooking, he always seemed grateful that I hadn't taken up my moms style of cooking and we both pigged out before stumbling into the living room looking like two stuffed birds ourselves to watch A Christmas Story that had been running back to back on TNT and TBS since the night before.

Sitting in front of the TV together I looked over at the sparkling Christmas tree smiling slightly. I still hurt for Edward and I knew that I would for a very long time, but for the first time in months I felt a shred of hope that maybe there was a little light at the end of one long dark lonely Charlie still had no idea what to get a teenage girl for Christmas he'd gotten me a small golden compact with two mirrors inside, it was beautiful with a mother of pearl butterfly on the front of the case. It was tucked in my jeans pocket. I knew I would probably never use it but still Charlie had given it too me, something from his heart. Something he said would remind me how beautiful I was inside and out for always even though the words Charlie used didn't exactly come out that way. Charlie would never be good with words just like I would never be good at any kind of sport, or keeping my balance for that fact.

My search for the perfect present for Charlie hadn't gone very well so I ended up getting him the things I new he needed like new jeans and more flannel shirts. I felt kind of less than when it came time for Charlie to open his presents but his eyes were bright none the less. Next year I would start my search early for something that had Charlie written all over it.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A/N: the third chapter has finally been installed. I feel like it's a little lacking but I hope that you all enjoy it all the same. You all probably gave up on me by now but you'll learn that I write kind of sporadically. You never know when you might get an update on a story. But here it is, leave me reviews please and tell me what you think. Otherwise I wont know what to do with it next. Hopefully the plot will thicken soon.