AN:

Finally, the chapter is out.

Chapter II – Out of the Shadows

"Interesting scarecrows," mused Zero.

What he called scarecrows, others would call murdered innocents impaled on stakes.

Zero's next mission saw him outside a enemy camp, located in the plains of a remote region of Konoha. It was still hidden hidden by the cover of the forest- and another forest, of "scarecrows" lay in front of it.

Mercenaries, bandits- it didn't matter what the enemy was. They weren't his target. They only needed to die if they raised blades against him.

His target was their leader. A man who won them over with charisma of terror. An immortal. A follower of Jashin.

He had encountered a follower before, back in his youth. They were terrors indeed- but this time, it'd be different.

He knew how they fought. He knew their strengths- and weaknesses. And this follower didn't have someone to reattach his body parts as they were cut off.

Zero remained in the shadows. The camp had been a former ninja outpost, so there was a small tower in its centre. There, undoubtedly, would be his target. The place itself was hardly far from Konoha, so he would be back by midday tomorrow.

The ANBU slipped into the camp. His feet made no sound on the ground, and the darkness of the night was enough to conceal him as he made his way to the tower, using the tents as cover.

The tower, despite only having two or three floors, had a large diameter.

'It would be an interesting battleground,' Zero thought briefly.

Only two guards stood outside the tower's entrance, both using rubble as seats, eating their rations.

"This food's crap," said one of them. "Can't we ask the boss to attack some places with better grub?"

"You gonna tell him that?" said the other.

"Nah. Well, maybe we'll get lucky next time."

Both men grumbled into their food, as a dark shadow flew overhead.

"What the hell was that?" said the first, looking up.

"I dunno, a bat or something. Pass me the booze."

Zero shook his head as he entered deeper into the tower, finding his way up the stone stairs. Surprisingly easy- but then again, these were just mere bandits. No real challenge here.

He arrived on the first floor. No guards were situated here- not that he wasn't complaining. The entire level was barren, containing only a few large rooms, and the staircase to the second floor.

But he could sense a human presence here. Cautiously approaching, his hands itched to draw a weapon and erase the person. The double-doors were barely ajar, and he gazed through the crack.

Just a sleeping girl.

He wondered who she was, but he dismissed the thought. She was not the target. And if that was the case, there was no reason for him to erase her.

Zero closed the doors, and resumed heading upstairs, where he pushed open a door to enter the highest floor.

The floor was dimly lit, and composed entirely of a large hall, filled with wide pillars. A path lay in the middle- leading to an elevated platform, on which a stone throne was placed.

A man was slumped in the throne, apparently asleep.

But the presence of the crimson triple-bladed scythe by his side and the amulet around his neck only confirmed his identity as Zero's target.

Zero drew his ninjato in his left hand, walking on the path. In moments, he was in front of the platform. And he sprang back through the air as the ground exploded.

"Impressive reflexes," said the man, his eyes still closed. "I am Kyousha. May Jashin-sama guide me- and let me have a good kill."

He lifted his scythe as he rose from the throne, finally opening his eyes.

Zero only drew his sword in his right hand- before disappearing.

Kyousha jumped forwards, knowing Zero would appear behind him. He swung the scythe behind him- and Zero parried it, swinging his sword under the lowest blade to hold the scythe.

The ninjato was thrust forwards, and Kyousha's blood was splattered across the stone.

"It will take more than a stab through my ribcage to kill me."

Zero scoffed. "I'm well acquainted with you freaks. Don't waste my time with your preaching and shit." He shoved Kyousha away, dragging out the ninjato from of the man's chest.

He twirled in it his hand, and sheathed it, raising his sword in two hands. And he flew through the air towards Kyousha, who had taken the time to back away.

'Fool!' thought Kyousha. 'From this speed- I can kill him!"

"For Jashin-sama!" He cried, swinging the scythe as Zero slashed with the sword.

The scythe pierced into Zero's sides. Kyousha laughed in triumph.

Then the scythe's blades shattered. The pole broke- and the sword tore through most of Kyousha's neck.

"Arg-aah!"

The only thing attaching Kyousha's head to his shoulders were the remnants of his neck and Kyousha's own hands.

One hand made his way into his robe, retrieving bandages. Frantically, he attempted to secure the bandage around his neck so his head would not fall.

"It's no use," said Zero. "All you have to do is take a few steps- and the rest of your throat will sever under the strain. You cannot get my blood. Your weapon has been destroyed. You have no way to reattach your head to your shoulders."

Two cerulean orbs glinted through the eye-holes in Zero's mask. "Your existence is being erased."

Kyousha shakily managed to fall onto his knees, still securing his neck with his hands- the bandages doing little.

He did not dare tilt his head forwards, but he released his hands from around his throat, pressing them together in prayer.

"Jashin-sama. Grant to me, your loyal servant, your aid. And I will sacrifice all my men- and that heathen in return. Please, Jashin-sama!"

Zero raised his head, perhaps in pity. But the cold laugh he emitted later denied that theory. "Where is your god now, Kyousha? You moron- you pray because you are in trouble? You are nothing! Nothing but a sacrifice to someone else!"

He stalked forwards, seizing Kyousha by his hair. "Do you feel the pain? As your head is torn from your shoulders?"

Kyousha cried out. "Ja-Jashin-sama! For your greatest of powers, I will serve you this heathen's soul!"

Zero looked down on the man, yanking his head back so he could look into his face. "No one will save you." With that, Zero tore the man's head off.

Kyousha screamed again, the head still in Zero's hand. "No one will save you. There is no man here who will be able to attach your head- and in any case, this will stop them."

The sword came down again, and split Kyousha's head in two. And then, to add insult to injury, Zero drop kicked the halves across the room.

He turned away, swinging his cloak over his shoulders. He wiped away his blood from the shards of the scythe's blood, and headed for the exit.

'Don't think we were too loud, I should still be able to sneak out without anyone- well, anyone alive- being the wiser.'

Zero had just made his way to the stairs when there was an explosion in the hall. He hurried back, his eyes widening behind his mask as he saw it, not noticing the doors close behind him.

A twelve-foot tall ogre-like being had appeared.

"What the-"

The ogre laughed. "So, heathen, it appears Jashin-sama did grant me his powers after all."

"That's not possible," Zero said, but his face hardened under his mask. It mattered little. Kyousha would still die.

He sprinted forwards, drawing his sword. He leapt into the air, intent on decapitating the monstrous head.

And a hammer-like fist shot up, landing into his stomach. Zero choked- and was thrown across the room, crashing into the wall, splattered across it like a squashed insect.

"You're not worthy of a ritual sacrifice, heathen!" Kyousha's voice rumbled out. "Your death will not be quick, and it shall not be painless."

The ogre charged Zero, ripping him from the wall, trapping him in a vice-grip. "But still, be proud you shall die at the hands of Jashin-sama's servant."

The ANBU exploded.

The ogre tottered back, stumbling on his legs, using a pillar to support himself as he turned to face Zero, who stood on the ground, his sword still held in his right hand.

"Cunning- but that will not save you from Jashin-sama's wrath!"

Kyousha pulled the pillar out of the ground, and hurtled it at Zero. Zero fell to the side to avoid it- only for Kyousha himself to run forwards and attack him.

The huge foot was swung at Zero- who swung his sword back. But the force of the kick sent him back again, nearly ripping his arm from its socket.

"You still don't let go of your sword?" Kyousha chuckled, his fat chin wobbling.

Zero raised his hand, his forefinger pointing towards Kyousha- and he disappeared- but Kyousha correctly guessed he had not left the room.

He was still here, hiding behind a pillar.

"Come out and face me, assassin!" Kyousha roared, as he stumbled through the room, searching for Zero. "Are you afraid? Afraid because you know you cannot win? Accept your death, fool!"

And then he saw it. A flicker in the corner of his eye- but it was enough. Kyousha smashed another pillar down.

He laughed, seeing the black cloak in the debris.

And then the assassin jumped into his sight- he realised he'd fallen for a decoy- and Zero's hand held a swirling ball of blue chakra.

"Rasengan!" Zero roared, as he slammed the attack into Kyousha's head.

He fell to the ground, backing away, stopping only to grab his cloak from the rubble.

Kyousha's face was horribly blended, chakra burns destroying even his left eye. "You- you'll pay, assassin!"

Zero gasped as he fell a blunt impact strike his front- and he hurtled through the air, spinning- and he crashed into a pillar. Blood dripped down from behind his mask, his injured body lying amidst the stone.

"You have met your limit heathen. Now- let me break your body."

Kyousha pulled out another pillar, lifting it up like a club. He raised it in both hands over his head, ready to swing it down onto Zero.

Zero gazed up at the pillar, almost unbelieving of what was happening.

'How can this be? I was defeated?' His gaze shifted from the pillar to Kyousha. 'Defeated by him?' A red tint came over his vision. 'I won't allow it! I will erase him!'

"Die!" screamed Kyousha, swinging the pillar down. It slammed into Zero, crushing him.

He stood back to admire his handiwork. "Having all your innards crushed like that- what a way to die."

And suddenly, the doors were thrown open, and the same girl Zero had seen earlier ran into the room.

"Father, I heard noises-" Her voice died as she saw the monstrous ogre.

"Rina!" Kyousha's voice cried out.

Rina screamed as Kyousha approached. In her fright, she ran deeper into the forest of pillars, despite that the exit to the room had been right behind her.

The ogre made to move after her- but the pillar it had just smashed Zero with was suddenly impaled through its back, piercing the beast's heart.

"I won't ever let myself be beaten by scum like you."

Zero stood on the end of the pillar, his arms crossed, his sword sheathed.

"You- this is your fault!" roared Kyousha, attempting to dislodge the pillar from his body.

Zero began forming seals- but slowly, knowing Kyousha wouldn't be able to remove the pillar without a lot more time.

"Ram. Horse. Snake. Dragon. Rat. Ox. Tiger! Fire Release: Fire Dragon Missile!" Zero took a great breath- and exhaled a torrent of flames.

The flamethrower in ninjutsu form engulfed the upper part of Kyousha's body. He howled- the flames were so intense they were turning white. Zero continued blasting flames, the torrent growing so large that the roof had caught alight.

Zero stopped, springing from the pillar to the ground, landing neatly. Kyousha stumbled wildly, his head now a complete mess, destroyed from the blending action of the Rasengan and the intense flames.

In the midst of the ruined folds of burnt skin, a single orb remained, indicating Kyousha still had the use of one eye.

The ogre roared. Kyousha now must have been going insane from the pain. But deep in the centre of that grotesque being, lay one desire. Hate.

All concentrated on that being known as Zero.

"I will not die, assassin!" Kyousha's voice was strained, his throat burned as well as his face. "This is a form that Jashin-sama's most loyal followers can achieve! No man can stand up to a god!"

"It seems like I've done quite well at that, Kyousha."

"You have your limit! You are a human! A weak, petty human!"

Kyousha fell onto four legs, his blackened mouth opening to reveal marred teeth. He bellowed his battle-cry and sprinted towards Zero.

Zero flung himself out of the way, twisting around in mid-air- only for Kyousha to spin as well, seizing him in his mouth.

And the ANBU screamed as he felt those teeth pierce deep into his side. Kyousha shook him in his mouth, before throwing him across the room.

Zero came to a stop at the base of a pillar, slumping against it. His sword had fallen away from the impact, just out of reach. His bones felt like they were breaking.

His head looked up at the oncoming beast. 'I should have a chance of surviving this, but I'll have to-' Zero stopped his thinking as he heard a sobbing behind him.

Kyousha came to a stop. "You- you bastard!"

Zero had stood up, but it was not that which had stopped Kyousha. It was that Zero had Rina in a hold, his right arm wrapped around her throat, her large eyes gazing fearfully at Kyousha.

"Checkmate," said Zero.

Kyousha inched forwards, nearing and nearing towards Zero, but he came to a halt when Zero merely tightened his grip around Rina's neck, making the girl cry out.

"You b-bastard! You heathen! Fight like a man!" cried Kyousha.

"Didn't you say you had the power of a god?" said Zero. "Heh, you've given up humanity- because you're weak. Why do you care about her?"

Kyousha trembled, but reluctantly bowed his head. "Please- please, spare my daughter. Leave her out of this! She has no part in any of this!"

"Neither had the innocents you've slaughtered."

"The idea that you came here as some vigilante is laughable! You were paid to do this! None of this matters to you!"

Zero looked down. When he finally spoke- "What have I become?" he asked himself. "I've lost my humanity- just like you."

He looked back up. "Fine. Take her. I'll fight you my way." He began moving forwards, dragging Rina.

Kyousha smiled in relief, leaning down to hug his daughter close, his mouth open to say a thanks to the heathen when-

Zero smashed a Rasengan into his mouth.

Kyousha veered away, screaming. Zero shoved Rina away, retrieving his sword. He jumped through the air- and decapitated Kyousha.

The great body collapsed- and to make sure there would be no more tricks, Zero took care to incinerate the flesh completely, ignoring the babbling head and the crying girl lying only feet away from him.

"You, you lying heathen- argh!" Kyousha's head cried as Zero impaled it with his sword, raising him into the air.

"So, is this the limit of a human?" asked Zero, ignoring the blood that dripped from the head, falling onto himself.

He swung the sword down, slamming the head into the stone, leaving an even greater bloody mess.

"I'm going to enjoy this," Zero hissed, replacing his sword with his ninjato. He cut from Kyousha's eye to his mouth, slowly dragging the blade through the burnt flesh.

Kyousha kept screaming.

"So you do have the power of a god!" cried Zero, impaling Kyousha through the forehead. "You just don't know how to fucking die, do you!?"

He repeatedly impaled the head, each stab heralding a louder shriek from Kyousha. Eventually, he stopped, raising himself to full height.

Kyousha's head trembled with what little movement it could do.

Zero's darkened silhouette seemed to grow, the room growing darker, the man only illuminated by his white mask. His cloak seemed to come to life, twisting in a wind that was not there.

"Fire is quite something, isn't it?" said Zero. "Provides warmth, light, danger. Let's play a game. Why do followers of Jashin fear fire?"

Kyousha didn't answer. His mouth opened, but only gurgles and screams came out.

"I'll tell you. Because- once the body is burned away- they can't live on. So, you'll die a slow death in the blazes of an inferno."

Kyousha finally managed words as Zero exhaled flames over his head. "No, no- no please! Wait, pl-please! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die! Rina, help me! Help me-"

The last of his cries, were lost to the flames.

Target Kyousha- erased.

He had to get out of here now. The building had started burning from all those fire techniques he had been using, and the rest of the bandits would be here any second.

A torrent of bandits thundered into the hall.

"What happened?!"

"Where's the boss!?"

All they saw was the boss' daughter, crying as she lay on the floor, ashes surrounding her.

"Girl!" shouted a tall, heavily scarred man. "Where's your father!?"

She looked up, her face smudged with tears. "He turned into a monster- and that man killed him! The man in the black cloak!"

"Where is he?" asked the scarred man.

"He vanished."

Of course, Zero hadn't vanished. He was just behind a pillar. The walls were too solid to break down without someone noticing.

"Well, I was the boss' right hand!" shouted the scarred man. "I'm in charge now!"

"Fuck off!" yelled another man- but he was instantly cut down by the scarred man.

"Anyone else gotta problem with meh?" snarled the scarred man. His eyes travelled from man to man, each quailing under his gaze. He turned- and his eyes fell on Rina.

"Heh." He leered, his tongue running over yellowed teeth. "Well, at least the boss left us something behind. Probably just a bony brat, but I have a feeling she's worth something!"

He seized Rina by her arm, dragging her after him. "Come on lads! It'll soon be dawn! Let's get a move on! Maybe this brat'll be helping us with the stress of the job, eh?!"

Throughout that entire exchange, Zero had remained behind the pillar. Not once did the thought appear in his mind that he could save the girl. Rather, he thought of how perfectly things had gone.

They thought he had left already- they would not be on the look out for someone trying to escape now.

He'd used the time to bandage up his wounds. He'd have to also clean every trace of his blood from the hall- he could leave nothing behind.

Zero had left the camp in less than ten minutes, back in the forest of "scarecrows." He leant against one of the stakes, breathing in and out.

Keep breathing. Heart keep beating. And he'd live on.

He suddenly lowered his hood, and took off the mask. And he collapsed to his knees.

"Fuck, what was up with that guy's teeth, poisoned or something?" he muttered to himself, checking his hastily bandaged wounds. No sign of infection, or poison.

"Guess it's just all down to being tired," he decided.

Naruto thought back over his battle- and this time felt a twinge of regret about condemning the girl to a hell. No, not a twinge. Bile was rising up his throat, his heart and stomach ached and twisted, sickened by his actions.

This wasn't the first time he'd done something like that. Sickeningly, a part of him felt that it had gotten a bit easier.

For a few moments, he was tempted to charge back in there, slaughtering all the bandits that he could.

But he couldn't. His orders had been to assassinate Kyousha- then head back to Konoha immediately. By standing here thinking about all of it, he was disobeying orders.

He snapped the mask back on- and suddenly, a thought danced into his head about how he could still help the girl and obey orders.

"The entire tower's burning!" yelled the scarred man, marching through the camp. "Fuck it guys, we're moving out! Pack all the stuff you can carry! And don't let the horses bolt off!"

In one hand, he still carried his sword, the other holding Rina's arm.

The bandits made to follow his orders- only for the first row of them to collapse to the ground, their necks cut by some invisible blade.

"The hell?"

A black cloaked man appeared in the flames, a large sword in his hand.

He was the most dangerous black op in the world, against fifty bandits. They didn't last five minutes.

Zero led a horse over to Rina, placing the girl on it. She looked back at him- and seldom had he seen such a vengeful face with hate directed to him.

'Must've got it from her father's side,' he couldn't help but think.

"All this," said Rina, her voice quivering with anguish and anger. "This all happened because you came here. I swear, if I ever see you again-"

"With that anger, at least my conscious will rest easy knowing you won't kill yourself," replied Zero.

"One day- I'll kill you, you evil man! I'll kill you!"

Zero tugged back his hood slightly, letting her see the blank mask in its entirety. "You can come at me any time."

He struck the horse, and it reared up- Rina clinging on- before galloping out of the burning camp.

And Zero burst into smoke, heralding the dispelling of a Shadow Clone.

The village had changed in one way over the past week. Kakashi had gone to a village leaders meeting, and the replacement was-

"Yosh! Greetings, youthful shinobi!"

Maito Gai.

So, for the past week, Naruto had been collecting his missions from the ANBU commander.

The ANBU headquarters were carefully disguised so no one could find them- disguised as both a lawyer's office and an estate agent, so people never went near the building. And in all the rooms- one was the office of the most high ranked ANBU, a man who answered to no one save the Hokage himself.

The commander.

His office had a strange resemblance to the the Hokage's office, the main difference being the man who sat behind the desk.

The commander himself was a peculiar man, but then again, most ANBU weren't exactly sane either.

He actually held a record for longest term in ANBU, and longest term as commander. He'd been in ANBU before the Yondaime came to power- got the promotion to commander some time during the Yondaime's short term as Hokage.

The man didn't wear a mask, simply his hooded white cloak that masked most his face, but it showed he had slightly pale skin and dark hair.

"You've been here quite a few times over the past few days, Zero," greeted the commander. "More often than usual, of course. Are you trying to avoid the acting-Hokage?" He said, his face clearly in a grin.

"Shut up," said Naruto dryly. "Mission-"

"Complete, yeah, you wouldn't have come back here without it completed. So, how have you been recently?"

"Terrible. All the other ANBU have started calling me by name or making even more Zero puns."

"What, zero puns? Isn't that good?"

"Shut up."

"You still seem depressed. Heh, were you looking for the job of acting Hokage?" asked the commander, the grin still present.

"Well, I did ask."

"Really? How did that go like?"

"Why not me?" asked Naruto. "I'm a jack of all trades, I'm good with people- I could do quite well."

Kakashi blinked. "No, you're good with killing people, there's quite a difference.

"Heh, probably because you let Kakashi handle that mini-Tsunade on his own."

"Oh yeah, I figured he was angry about that, the day after it he greeted me with a "Good morning, asshole"," said Naruto.

"Apparently, she tossed his liquor out of the window, she tore up all the volumes of Icha Icha he stored in the office, and punched him through a wall."

"Oh. Well, that explains that."

"Still a couple of days left till Hokage-sama returns," said the commander idly. "You've seen it, haven't you?"

"Seen what?" Naruto asked.

"Hokage-sama's left arm. He is still injured from his fight with that bloodline brat."

"Is it serious?"

"Who knows?" The commander shrugged. "He didn't finish his treatment before he was called for the meeting."

"Are you worried someone will attack him?"

"Whether someone will attack him- probably. Whether they'll succeed in killing him- hah. They haven't got a chance. They'd need another man with the powers of a Kage, and even then, Kakashi's got the bodyguard composed from ten of our finest ANBU. So, have a little faith in him, Zero. His strength grew considerably over the past five years- as did yours."

Naruto shrugged. "Well, you did point out he was injured from Sasuke's fight."

"True, but that kid didn't go unscathed either," said the commander. "He was nearly completely out of chakra, and was suffering some major injuries. Kakashi held his own well without the Sharingan- and when he did unveil it, he was more or less dominating the fight. That brat's Amaterasu and Kirin both failed to kill him- I doubt some random assassin will do what they failed to."

"Any lone ops sent as bodyguards?"

The commander shook his head. "The other leaders requested we didn't send lone black operatives- but that's probably because of the revealing of you as our top lone op."

"Not just top lone op, top ANBU, I should think."

"Sorry, but top ANBU is yours truly."

"Only for so much longer," replied Naruto.

The commander laughed, before resuming the conversation. "I actually didn't intend to have you sent. I was going to send our second and third best lone ops. You need to stay in the village, we can't risk not having you and Kakashi out of here."

Naruto tilted his head in thought. "The third best is that guy with all the ninja wire, right?"

"The tools specialist, Razor. Knows a ridiculous number of ways to kill someone with ninja wire. Yep- and the second best is the man in the black mask. Kuroi."

"Never worked with him."

"Well, there's never been a reason to use my first and second best black ops together when they're more than good enough to handle most missions solo. You guys are supposed to be lone operatives, after all."

The door burst open, revealing a man with a mask of a praying mantis. Shino.

"Commander." Shino greeted as he knelt. "Urgent news."

"Speak, Mantis."

"Our spies have reported there is to be an assassination attempt on Hokage-sama."

"See, told you, Zero." The commander yawned. "It means nothing. They don't stand a chance-"

"They've killed six of his bodyguard. No witnesses. They merely showed up dead."

The commander jumped out of his chair. "The fuck?! What have the other leaders been doing?"

"They've been investigating this, but to no avail."

The commander looked like he wanted to smash something, but instead began pacing around the room. "What the fuck are they playing there?" he growled in anger. "Six of my finest ANBU shown up murdered?! Those fucking bastards, do they think I'll let that slide?!"

He looked at both Naruto and Shino, the fires of hell blazing in his eyes, his hands curled into fists. "They want to play rough, do they? Zero- you'll be heading ANBU while I'm gone. I'm going there myself."

"Sir, with due respect, that's a stupid idea," said Naruto. "Send me instead."

"No, a stupid idea would be both of us. But even that has its merits. Let's see, sending the ANBU Commander of Konohagakure, the man whose orders and work over the past twenty years that have resulted in hundreds of deaths- or sending an ANBU who's been carrying out some of those orders and directly has been killing people."

The commander's eyes glinted. "Go, Zero. Take Razor with you. Mantis, bring me Kuroi, I'll need him on standby for the village."

Naruto- no, Zero smiled. "Of course, sir."

AN:

The title referenced how Zero and Razor are leaving Konoha, essentially going out into the battlefield. I think the word metaphorical fits in somewhere.

If you've read a certain other fic of mine, you'll recognise Kuroi- and the commander. You don't have to search out those two, I just thought it'd be a bit of fun to reference them then make up some more OCs.

OMAKE: Naruto loves his ninjatos.

"Come on, help me out here!" Kakashi yelled.

Once again, it looked like Sakura was going to throw him through a wall again. Ah, they grow up so fast.

"Why should I?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi opened a drawer, from which he took a ninjato, throwing it to Naruto. "Early birthday present!"

Naruto removed the mask so he could examine the ninjato more intently.

"Extraordinary, look at the durability on this- it's been sharpened to a point where you can slash at your enemy- or thrust into them with great force."

"What?" said Sakura, sure she had misheard that bit.

"It's got a ring pommel, designed so the user can hold it on a finger. It's been widened enough so it isn't so tight and you easily slip in a finger."

Kakashi bit the inside of his mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Why, you'd almost think they'd lubricated it. Every last inch has been carefully crafted and customised- and there's a delicate citrus flavour to it. The backside itself is perfect and can be handled there if wanted."

From how Naruto was "caressing" the ninjato, it even looked like he was groping it.

"You see, Sakura, Kakashi, you have to think of your blade as an living, breathing extension of yourself. You keep it concealed, and when you need it- you whip it out in a quick movement so the target never saw it coming, and then you ram it into your enemy. You also have to hold it in a firm grip, and it's very important that you don't shake. Keep it steady, nope, none of that shaking or throbbing. It's also important that you properly clean it, you don't want any infections from those who have been stabbed by it."

Sakura blinked- and then a second time. "Naruto- are you licking it?"

"Maybe," said Naruto, as he started cradling the ninjato against his head, before looking back at it. "Hello my dear, I notice that there are two bulges on your hilt. But in a very pleasing way, of course."

Sakura face-palmed.

"I once knew someone else with two noticeable bulges. I shall call you Tsunade."