Love Overdue: By Ten Years
A One Shot by Moonlight Diamond
If you never appear again,
What else will be valuable in my world?
Too bad there isn't enough time
For us to test the meaning of forever.
Thinking of you turns to reminiscing about you,
The beat of my heart turns to a shatter.
Yet I'm still concern about who you will belong to in the end…
...o...
...o...
...o...
Sakura Kinomoto sighs and look at the invitation in her hand. It isn't anything fancy and expensive, but it's still special.
Sakura K.
You are cordially invited to the high school reunion of Tomoeda Secondary, class of 1998.
Location: Plaza Ballroom
Time: 6PM, December 23, 2008.
We hope to see you there, and we hope you will have a wonderful time reuniting with all your fellow graduates.
Tomoeda Secondary Alumni Team
Yes, this little invitation has the pretty auburn haired woman in distress. Sakura isn't sure if she should go. At twenty seven years of age, she hasn't exactly been much of a success. She's currently working as an elementary school teacher at over at the next town because there are no positions open at Tomoeda Elementary. It's about a forty-five minutes ride car to the next town.
Plus, she's positive that all her ex-classmates are all happily in a steady relationship, or engaged, or even married! And her? She just broke up with her boyfriend of two years a week ago. So what exactly is she going to say when someone asks her where her boyfriend is at? Then she'll have to be force to say,
"Oh, I don't have a boyfriend."
How humiliating will THAT be?!
Sakura sighs and takes a sip from her lemon iced tea. And besides, she taps her chin thoughtfully, what about…Syaoran Li? Will he be there too?
Now you may wonder…who is this Syaoran Li person? And why is Sakura Kinomoto seem to be so shy about seeing him again?
He was the nicest guy who had ever lived, according to Sakura's opinion. He was the most likable guy, and every single clique back then wanted him to be in theirs. He was the dreamboat of all girls…
…that is, after he got hot after coming back from summer vacation at the start of tenth grade. Before they turned 15, Sakura remembers Syaoran Li to be a short young little boy with boyish features and chubby cheeks. He was a bit on the short side, being only 5"2 when they were both 13 years old. Although his personality remained the same, nobody took too much notice of him until he became a handsome young man at the age of 16: 5"10 with wide, broad shoulders, chestnut coloured hair, a set of dreamy hazel coloured eyes, and of course, his best feature: the sweetest smile always gracing his face. Sakura was the only exception: she had a crush on him back when they were 12.
It just goes to show how superficial high school was.
Or is, Sakura rolls her eyes, thinking about how superficial tonight's reunion will probably be. If there's any justice in life, all the snobby cheerleaders will be obese and bald.
But no. The real reason Sakura is so shy about seeing Syaoran Li again is because…
Flashback
A 17 years old Sakura puts down her pen and sits back in her chair to admire her letter. She can feel her heart pound excitedly with adrenaline when she thinks about what she's about to do.
Dear Syaoran-kun,
I know that this is really sudden, and all along I've just been a friend, a locker neighbour, and a classmate to you. But I really want you to know something. And that something is that I've been in love with you ever since we first met back when we were 12 years old in Mokenzie-sensei's Gym class. I never had the courage to say it to you, and even to this day, I still don't have the courage to say it to you face-to-face. It really broke my heart seeing you went from single to taken, then back to single, and then back to taken again all these years. I know I'm probably near the bottom of the list when it comes to girls you have feelings for, and I'm not blaming you for it or anything. I don't expect my feelings to be reciprocated, but I just want to let you know how I feel because this is probably the last time we'll ever see each other again.
I really hope we can still continue to be friends and that you don't ignore me via e-mail and phone calls once you're in Hong Kong starting a new chapter in your life. I wish you all the best and that someday, I hope that both of us will find that special someone.
Missing you always,
Sakura-chan
Sakura clutches the letter tightly in her hand as she stands in the airport with all her friends, who are all there to bid Syaoran goodbye as he is about to fly off to Hong Kong for University. He said he won't be back in Japan for the next five years for sure, and most likely won't be coming back at all if all is well over in his home country.
The last time I'll ever see him…
"Remember, don't open your presents until I get on the plane," Syaoran said, giving goodbye gifts to everyone who came to greet him farewell. This is one of his special qualities: he's the one who should be receiving farewell presents; yet, he's also the one who's handing them out. "I don't want any of you to come attacking me if you all hate it."
Syaoran closes his bag when he reaches Sakura. He scratches his head shyly. "Um…I'm really sorry, Sakura. I didn't expect so many people to come…I…um…didn't bring enough presents. I really hope you don't—"
"It's okay, Syaoran-kun." Sakura interrupts, although she can hear the distinct sound of her heart shattering in her own ears. "I have something for you though." And shyly she gives him her letter.
"What is it?" he asks curiously, taking the envelop from her hands.
"Oooooh, a love letter!" one of their classmates hollers in laughter, making both Sakura and Syaoran flush ten shades of red.
"N-n-no!" Sakura lies. "It's a good luck…bookmark…charm…"
Oh great, that was the worst lie of the century, Sakura thinks humiliatingly to herself, not able to look Syaoran in the eye.
"Thanks, Sakura." Syaoran grins, flashing her his sweet, warm smile for the last time.
End of flashback
And I never heard from him again, Sakura sighs, reminiscing. She knew that he avoided her on purpose – he was probably too fluster and confused and didn't know what was the best way to reject her romantic feelings for him.
She's flips open her old high school yearbook and flips to the L section for Li. Ah, there he is. His smiling face forever recorded in that precious picture. Just as exactly how she remembers him by, with that trademark smile.
Well, I guess I better go to that reunion. Besides, I'm really curious about how everyone turned out after all these years.
And a part of her wants to see Syaoran again too. Just to catch up about how life has change for both of them in the last ten long years.
I'll just not bring up the topic of that stupid letter.
Who are these people?!
Sakura walks into the lobby of the Plaza Ballroom, looking as confuse as ever. Oh, she's in the right place alright. There's a big banner hanging elegantly across the walls, saying Grad of 1998 Reunion. But…who ARE these people? She can't remember any of them. None of them look the same anymore! Vaguely, she wonders if anyone recognizes her.
Thank goodness for stick-on nametags, Sakura thinks and absentmindedly pats her own nametag to make sure it's still in place.
Shizuka Motomiya. Sakura reads the name tag of a woman with her hair screw up into a tight bun, leaving no bangs to hang. She's in a serious smart suit and is drinking a champagne. Sakura remembers a Shizuka Motomiya from high school. She dated Syaoran at one point, and was the prettiest girl in their year, known for her youthful enthusiasm and laughter. Yet the woman in front of her now looks like she hasn't laugh in years.
Akira Nobanichi. Ah, Sakura also remembers this one! Akira was a timid little fellow back in high school and was always picked on by the much stronger students. And now look at him! Fill with such enthusiasm and life! And if she's not mistaken, Sakura's pretty sure that his entire outfit costs more than her annual salary.
Li Meiling. Hey, who's THAT? There was no Li Meiling from her high school graduating class that she can remember. And her last name is Li too…hmm…
Then Sakura froze. Li…can she be…Syaoran's wife?!
Well, it's won't be surprising, Sakura thinks, can't help but stare at this Li Meiling person. She has pretty shoulder length ebony hair and twinkling dark maroon eyes. She's wearing a simple, yet elegant ruby red dress, which compliments her fair complexion nicely.
Sakura can't help but feel a little envious of the woman. Despite that her little crush-love on Syaoran Li was ten years ago, a little side of her hoped to see him again and…well…to flirt a little. And now there's no hope of that at all because Sakura's not one to flirt with a married man.
Suddenly, Li Meiling catches Sakura's stare, making her instantly turn her head away in embarrassment. I can't believe she caught me looking at her enviously! And oh no…IS SHE COMING OVER?!
And indeed she is. "Hi, I noticed your nametag. Sakura Kinomoto?"
Sakura has no choice but to finally look at the woman face to face. "Um, yes, that's me."
Oh my God, what if Syaoran told her about my love letter to him ten years ago and now she's going to scream at me to stay away from her husband?!
However, even as she is panicking over this, she know that the chances of such a thing occurring is very, very slim. But then…why else will this Meiling person target her out of all the people here?!
"Do you remember a boy in your graduating class name Syaoran? Syaoran Li?" Meiling asks politely with a smile.
Okay, that confirms it. He must have told her for sure. Maybe if I play it cool I can assure her I'm already engaged—oh wait, I don't have a ring.
"Um, yes, I do," Sakura answers honestly. How can she forget him? "Why? Is he um…able to make it to the reunion tonight?"
Meiling smiles sadly. "You can say that. I'm here in his place. I know Syaoran really wants to be here tonight."
So he sent his wife to come in his place?!?!
"I'm his cousin," Meiling laugh.
Oh. Oh!
Realization dawns on Sakura and her green eyes widen in surprise. "Oh!"
Meiling laughs again. "Yeah. Anyways, there's a few things Syaoran wants to give you. Can you come with me over to a table so I can give them to you in his place?"
Sakura's eyes widen. He remembers me?! And he has stuff to GIVE me?! Oh my GOD, what can it be?!
Sakura follows Meiling over to a table and the two women sit down. For the first time since meeting her, Sakura notices that Meiling is carrying a tin box. It's old and tattered and there are little dents here and there.
"What's that?" Sakura asks curiously, looking at the box.
"The things Syaoran wanted to give you are in here," Meiling opens up the box gently with a pop. "I apologize, but these things are…well, they're ten years late. Here's the first one."
She hands Sakura the first item, which is a paper heart made with red origami paper. Sakura takes the origami tenderly into her slender fingers and gazes at it. It's fold to perfection, with sharp corners and no wrinkles at all even after all those years.
A…heart? He wanted to give me a heart ten years ago? Does that mean…
She can't finish her train of thoughts because she is afraid of whatever she thinks next will lead her to wishful thinking. And she has done more than her fair share of that, especially where Syaoran is concern.
"But…why?" Sakura asks Meiling softly.
"Remember the day he left for Hong Kong?"
Sakura nods. How can she forget? It was the last time she ever saw him.
"Well, he told me that he plans to give everyone who comes to bid him farewell goodbye presents. And…that paper heart is the present he wanted to give you."
"B-b-but he never gave me anything. I remember that day. He…he said he ran out of gifts." Sakura mutter softly, turning the origami over in the palm of her hand, looking at it admiringly.
"That's because he changed his mind last minute. The silly boy, he was in love with you Kinomoto-san. He wanted to give you this origami heart, which was a representation of his heart. He wanted to let you know that…that you have his heart." Meiling said softly, blinking back her tears.
Sakura listens in awe and silence. He…he…he loved her? Did…did he really?
But before she has a chance to reconfirm this shocking revelation with her companion, Meiling produces a second item from the tin box. A button. Just a small round button.
Sakura peers at it and sticks out her hand, and Meiling gently places the button in her palm. Sakura frowns. There's something about this button that is strikingly familiar. Yet…she can't remember where she saw—
She gasps as her high school memories come crashing down on her like a bolt of lightning. Their old high school uniform! It's a button from the uniform! No wonder it looks so familiar!
"From your gasp, I'll take it that you remember where that button came from," Meiling smiles knowingly. Sakura nods. Of course.
Wait a minute! Sakura's eyes widen.
"Is this—"
"Yes, it is." Meiling confirms, knowing Sakura is about to ask. "Syaroan's second button from his uniform. He always wanted to give that to you too."
His…second button…I always wondered who he gave it to. And…it turned out that he kept it all along because he wanted to…give it to…me…
Sakura can feel tears brimming her eyes, but she blinks them back.
"If he loved me so much, why did he never e-mail or call me when he was in Hong Kong? I mean, I—" she pauses, blushing at the recollection of her love letter, "—I gave him a…letter. Telling him that I love him. Right before he got on the plane."
"He read your letter," Meiling assures her. "He was really happy for months. He wanted to tell you in person that he reciprocates your feelings…he thinks it's more special that way. So he never called you or e-mailed you because he can't continue to treat you as a friend through e-mails and phone calls. Trust me, he was on his way back to Japan, and to you."
"Where is he?" Sakura demands, adrenaline rushing through her veins. "Where is he now?" She has to find him. She just has to! Even if they missed out on ten years of time…even if he might be in another relationship now…even if he's no longer as handsome as he used to be…she just has to—
"I'm sorry, Kinomoto-san. But I'm afraid…" Meiling sniffs and chokes on her own tears, "…I'm afraid you won't be able to see Syaoran again in…in…in this…life time. He…he passed away in a car accident four months after he returned to Hong Kong. He was on his way to the airport to catch his flight back to Japan and...he..."
Sakura can feel the world around her spinning. She can hear the background music playing in the background. She can hear people around her laughing and dancing and eating. But her entire being feels numb.
Syaoran's…dead? No. No. No, he can't die! He just can't! He had always been so full of life and passion! And he had such a big heart and compassionate personality. How can someone like that just…
It's not fair. It's not fair at all how someone as gentle and kind as Syaoran Li should pass away at such a young age.
All these years I've wondered how he is doing…and all along he's already gone. Four months after he returned to Hong Kong…four months…
"Syaoran didn't want to return to Hong Kong," Meiling continues. "He kept on telling me how he'll miss you a lot and how he doesn't want to be away from you. Syaoran's mother asked him if he wanted to go back…but he was so sure that you weren't interested in him…so he agreed to go despite how heartbroken it must have been for him."
It's my fault…
"No, it's not! Kinomoto-san, don't blame yourself!" Meiling scolds gently when Sakura accidentally said the last thought out loud.
"Y-y-yes it is!" Sakura sobs, unable to control the tears flowing down her cheeks. "If only I had told him how much I love him in person before he left! If only I had more courage! Then he wouldn't have went back and then he wouldn't have—have—" Sakura cries, unable to finish her sentence.
"Please, Kinomoto-san, don't blame yourself! This is the last thing Syaoran wants to see." Meiling said, although she's crying herself. "I almost forgot about Syaoran's love for you until I receive this class reunion letter in the mail. I know that I just have to come here and let you know that all along, you were the only girl in Syaoran's heart. It…It was something he always wanted you to know. And now you do."
Sakura sinks back into her chair, not caring how red and puffy her eyes are becoming due to her tears. Syaoran Li…the first person she had loved is gone from her life. Forever. There is now nothing she can do, for no matter how hard she wish she can turn back time to ten years ago, she can't. She'll never be able to go back and tell him that he meant more to her than anything else in the world.
She can only try to live her life to the fullest and treasure his love for her always, for it is what Syaoran would have wanted.
Sakura prays that they will have the chance to meet again in the next life time…and for her to have the courage to tell him that she loves him.
...o...
...o...
...o...
If you never existed at all,
Would I have been happier?
Shame that the cruelty of time will have to take promises,
And erases them bit by bit.
Thinking of you turns to reminiscing about you,
The beat of my heart turns to a shatter.
Yet I'm still concern about who you will belong to in the end…
Moonlight Diamond: Aww...at first when I was writing this story, I had no idea how to end it. But then...the idea just came to me as I was writing it.
I think it tugged a few of my heartstrings even as I was writing it lol lol
The italics part at the beginning and end are English translation from a Mandarin song I was listening to while I was writing this. It's one of my favourite songs, and I think it suits the story quite nicely. My Mandarin is pretty...er...bad, so please don't hate me if the English translations aren't accurate enough! I'm pretty sure it's about 98 percent accurate though...
Oh, and in case you guys are confused...there's a tradition in Japan that at graduation, boys give the second button on their uniform to the girls they love because apparently, it is the button closest to the heart and it's meant as a way of confession. At least, according to Wikipedia hahaha.
I hope you guys all enjoyed it!! Please remember to leave a review! It'll be MUCH appreciated!!
Also, for a little self promoting hehehe, check out my other story [not a one shot, but a chaptered one] call Can You Love Me, Syaoran Li? Trust me, that one is MUCH more humourous and happier.
R&R!!