Kakashi's Secret

I have a secret, yeah, I know all Shin obi have secrets, but mine is a little different.

You may have noticed my coloring and guessed I'm a partial Albino but what you can't see because I hide it really well is that I'm not a man or a woman. I'm what is commonly termed a 'hermaphrodite'.

That's not to say I don't have a gender role, as far as I'm concerned I'm a man. I have no mammary glands, an average, if skinny male build and an average sized penis. I just don't have a beard, chest hair or visible testicles.

If fact I have no scrotum at all, instead I have a vaginal opening behind my penis and my penis itself is apparently a very large clitoris if you want to be technical about it.

Personally, I would rather just forget about it and pretend that I was castrated when a child. Since it that sounds like a very personal injury no one who has seen me naked has asked about it. Shin obi are nothing, if not discreet about such things. If fact the only people who do know are my father, Sensei, the third, Tsunade and Asuma.

My father, well, he pretended he though I was a boy until the last, but I knew he didn't know what to think and just concentrated on making me strong so I could survive in spite of it.

Sensei didn't find out until I was injured down there and he could not find the source of the blood. Tsuade was still a healer in the village then and was able to access my sealed records and explain that the kick I had received had ruptured the wall of my uterus causing the bleeding.

Yeah, I used have a uterus; it was removed when I was 15 because of a tumor growing with in it. I'm still not sure if I'm happy or sad about that. In any case it was too small and deformed to have ever carried a child to term even if I was capable of producing viable eggs.

Surprisingly I do have viable sperm, barely. I have one shriveled up teste and one non-functioning ovary. I can get aroused and have an erection but my ejaculation is mostly fluid with no semen and what semen there is, well it's not going to make any babies any time soon.

Any way Sensei got a real surprise out of it. Not that he treated me any differently or anything but it did throw him and it took a couple of weeks for him to make the adjustment. The Third knew because he likes to keep an eye on all the orphans especially those with a traumatic past.

Asuma, well he spent a lot of time with me after Sensei died and we know more than a few secrets about each other. That time it started with a discussion about fathers, went on to masks and the fact that I wear mine because I such have a remarkable resemblance to mine.

Then I blurted out that I couldn't grow a beard or mustache because I didn't have enough testosterone and why. I think it was because all my grief had finally caught up with me and I was just plain lonely. Asuma was a little surprised by my confession and asked if I had anything else I wanted to get off my chest. Bang, I was off; my whole medical history came out. Asuma lost his cigarette at the beginning by the time I wound down he was sitting with a thoughtful expression on his face. First words out of his mouth "Well that explains your problem with Gai, your jealous of all that testosterone he oozes."

It was exactly the right thing to say I burst out laughing and a lot of things that were tight and closed within my soul loosened a little.

Other times, other things came out, like when Asuma first started to notice Kunari.

He started to get annoyed with everything she did because she wouldn't take any notice of him. In fact he was starting to get down right nasty before he realized that he angry because she didn't see him as anything other than just another boy in the background.

I could relate because of the way I felt about Obito. That's my biggest regret at being what I am. I couldn't tell Obito that I liked him.

A. Because of my obsession with rules,

And

B. How could I explain what I was to him without being called a freak or something?

Rin, I probably could have told, she was a lot kinder and as a medic would have understood the biology. But could have I told Obito? I'd like to think that maybe I could have explained without repercussions but Obito was so unpredictable that I really can't say.

I have had similar feelings for other people since then and acted on them.

But since the whole castrated thing made sure people didn't look too close and as long as I was 'top' they never found my vagina, so no questions asked.

Now, however I have got a new problem. Iruka sensei, he's the most sincere and desirable man I have ever met. I want to give him everything about me; I want to trust him with everything. The question is can I give him all my secrets; will he still see me for me, if I do?