DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Outsiders; it belongs to the wonderful S.E. Hinton.

A/N: Update is coming very, very soon. Please review? It would make me very, very happy.

I was in love with Dallas Winston.

If someone looked at me, they wouldn't guess. I mean, for one thing, we were both guys, and I wasn't… well, I didn't act… gay. And Dally was dangerous. I was as jumpy as a Mexican bean. Nobody would expect someone as nervous as me to fall for someone like him. Plus, he seemed so much older than me. In reality, there was only a year's difference- he was sixteen and I was fifteen- but my innocence was a sharp contrast to his vast knowledge of all things adult and forbidden.

Even physically, we were different. He was tall and broad-shouldered, and I was still short and narrow; my body hadn't turned to that of a man yet. My brown skin and black hair looked even darker next to his light features. And confidence was the biggest difference. When Dallas walked, he strutted, hands in pockets and, often as not, cigarette in his mouth. I kept my head down and tried not to be noticed.

Still, love and reason didn't keep company- didn't Shakespeare say that? And I guess that's sort of why I fell head over heels for him.

I understood why I liked him- he was wild and unpredictable and passionate. I was timid and jumpy and unsure of myself. What I couldn't see was what he saw in me.

The first time I ever knew he returned my feelings was a September night, before I ever got beat up and the whole murder thing ever happened. I had stayed out in the lot as usual, 'cause my parents were fighting and I didn't wanna have to deal with that. One minute I was curled up on the ground sleeping and the next a big foot was nudging me in the stomach.

"Hey, kid," Dally said, grinning. For a second I was confused- what time was it; why was Dally there; why was he waking me up? Then I smiled back up at him and sat up. "Hey."

He sat down next to me and took a drag on what was left of his cigarette. I asked what time it was and he said it was around two. "Well, why the hell'd ya wake me up then?"

Suddenly Dally was serious. "I gotta talk to you," he said, voice husky from years of smoking. I knew mine was headed the same direction if I didn't cut back.

I paused, but he didn't go on. "So talk," I told him.

"Look, Johnny," he stopped again and took a deep breath. "This is gonna sound crazy, but please, just hear me out."

"Okay."

"Seriously, like, absolutely nuts."

I glared at him. "Enough with the suspense." I wasn't quite so shy back then, and I knew that I could get away with saying stuff to Dally that most people would get beat up for.

"Okay, look, Johnnycake, I, uh… well, see"-

"Spit it out, Dally!" I almost yelled, and then ducked in case he decided to hit me. He didn't.

"I'm trying," he sighed. "What it is, is- well, you know we all love you. The whole gang." I nodded. "I love you… more. In a different sort of way. Like… well, yeah. I love you." He seemed confused, like he didn't really know if the words coming out of his mouth made sense.

"No joke?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Sorry, man. I mean, I know it's weird and all, but…"

"I don't think it's weird." I can imagine how I must have looked- eyes wide, face utterly innocent. Dally looked like he thought I was a liar. "No, really. I think it's… well, I think it's great."

"Great?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, great," I said. "'Cause if you love me then it means I can do this." And then I kissed him.

For a second he didn't do anything, but then his arms went around me and held me close and he started kissing me back. We kissed until I pulled back involuntarily, gasping- damn body needed to breathe- and he yanked me back for more as soon as I'd gotten a few lungfuls of air.

Still kissing me, Dally pulled off his jean jacket and started unbuttoning mine. I wasn't sure what he planned on doing out there in public at two in the morning with no bed or anything, but I sure wasn't arguing. My body was taking charge instead of my mind, and I found myself climbing into Dally's lap, one leg on each side of him.

He groaned. "Oh God, Johnny," he muttered into my lips before undoing the last button and sliding my jacket off my shoulders. Goosebumps rose on my skin and I wasn't entirely sure if they were from the chilly air or Dally's lips now pressing against my throat. It was my turn to moan as he sucked and bit just roughly enough to leave a slight mark. My hands slid down the side of his body to his hips, sliding fingers into belt loops and drawing closer until my chest was pressed flush to his and I could feel his heart drumming. Slowly I began to grind my hips and he gasped. It gave me a strange sense of pride to know that I was the cause of that gasp.

Suddenly I felt pain in my neck when Dally bit harder than before. Somehow it felt really, really good. I let out a little whimper and he pulled back. He was grinning and there was laughter in his eyes.

"What?" I panted. "What's so funny?"

Dallas shook his head. "You." One of his fingers rubbed my cheek, his thumb brushed against my now-swollen lips. "You're so cute," he laughed softly. This was a side of Dally that I had never seen before, and I didn't just mean the making-out-with-a-guy side. I meant the sweetness and the feeling that he cared for something.

"Thanks," I replied, rolling my eyes. Then, feeling mischievous, I shifted my hips ever so slightly on top of his. I felt his pants grow a little tighter and heard the moan that he failed to stifle. Didn't sound like he thought I was just 'cute'…

"Johnny Cade," he warned, shaking his head and shoving my off of him. I landed on my side on the dead grass, laughing as my breathing finally slowed. Dally tossed me my jean jacket and as I slid it on, suddenly I was afraid. Was he really mad at me? Had I ruined any chance? But no, he smiled and pulled me close, leaning back until we were lying on the ground.

Dallas Winston was holding my in his arms and his breathing was growing even, and I was in heaven. As I drifted off, I thought I felt his teeth playfully bite my ear. I know he laughed and gave me a squeeze. Then I fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, the sun was up and Dally was gone.