Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

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So there he was, looking at me.

"What an immersing book," said Zelda.

"Whatever. Dusklight isn't as good as T...3...n...d...V...B...."

"Barney," said Zelda, interrupting Peach's ditz session.

"Hmph." scoffed Peach. "It's not like I know how to read Russian."

"I dont know how to speak Russian," Zelda said, already really annoyed, "You were reading upside down."

"HAH!! And I'm Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"Well, technically you are. Who else could be king? Even if your title is Princess Peach, you are queen. They just fear you are too stupid to run the Kingdom." retorted Zelda.

"Will you please be quiet!" said Mrs. Pacman, the librarian.

Just then, a FALCOWN PAWWWWWNCH!! echoed through the hall. "Falcon is such a retard," said the bounty hunter, Samus Aran, as she plopped down beside Peach and Zelda.

"He punched Snake in the face when he asked me out." she said. "Oh, and I know why Mrs. PacBitch is so PMSy. Mr. PM is filing for divorce!" she whispered.

"Omygawd! Seriously?" both Zelda and Peach asked enthusiastically.

Samus knitted her eyebrows is confusion.

"Divorce or Snake?"

"Both. Do you even like Snake?"

"No," the suit-clad woman said. "I think that the guy who wears a weird paintball mask around sounds interesting," Samus said, shyly biting her bottom lip.

"You mean MASTER CHIEF?!?!" Zelda squeaked.

"Oooooo!" Peach squealed.

Zelda threw her hand up to silence Peach. "Wait. I thought he was with Cortana."

Samus frowned.

"I think The Chief thinks you're a dude," Zelda said, feeling sad for Samus.

"I AM NOT A GUY!!" Samus yelled. Poor girl. She is already so annoyed by how many people think that.

"SHHHHHHH!" said Mrs. PM.

"You're a girl?" asked Peach, entering ditz mode again. "I thought you were a homo."

"Did anyone ever tell you you're a bimbo?" Samus questioned Peach with a cocked eyebrow.

"Actually, Mario called me that the other day when he told me he slept with Rosalina. So what if he slept with her? Mario can be soooo weird sometimes," Peach said, waving her hand at the thought of them kissing.

Zelda let out the most unwomanly snort, and Samus coughed.

"Stupid."

"For your benefit Peach, I will take my suit off," Samus said, grinning at Peach's naivety.

A light enveloped Samus, making her suit disappear.

"There," she said, now dressed in a light blue jumpsuit.

"Niice," Link said, randomly walking past the girls, making a clicky noise with his tounge. Zelda glared.

"Kay..." Samus giggled. Zelda glared.

"0MFG R TH0S3 R33L!??!//!!11!" Peach screamed as she flew her brain back from outer space, pointing at Samus' chest.

"Girls, please." said Mrs. PM.

"......" Samus stood there, straight facing Peach. She obviously misunderstood Mrs. PM.

All of a sudden, she started to glow.

Not good, thought Zelda.
Intervention time!

"Hey. Samus. C'mon. We know they're real. Don't go Paula Abdul on Peach."

"YOU DO NOT COMMENT ON MY BOOBS, BITCHES!!!!!" Samus screeched, another light enveloping her, sucking Zelda, Peach and Mrs. PM in.

Once more, Samus was in her suit.

Peach, Zelda, and Mrs. PacMan were all on the floor, panting.

Mrs. PacMan's eyes were bulging out of her head, obviously seething and was about to tell Samus off before Zelda cut her off.

"Do you want laser in your face this time?" she whispered angrily.

"Ah. I feel much better now," Samus said as she walked out of the library.

The Princesses and the PacWoman just lay there, wondering what Samus would be up to next.

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Hope you liked it! :)