A/N: This story is totally pointless and verging on stupid. But I liked writing it! Please enjoy!! Mentions Kaku x Lucci.

Disclaimer: One Piece and all its characters belong to the wonderful Eiichiro Oda.

Rating: T

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A Normal Day in Enies Lobby

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What I had witnessed in the kitchen, well … it was just too delicious to keep a secret! I knew I had to tell someone, and, with that someone in mind, I rushed from the table and flew into the hallway.

Almost crashing into Kumadori who was entering the kitchen, I rushed an apology in his general direction. However, I could hear him call after me, "Where are you going in such a haste, Fukurou?" And I stopped; I figured I could give him a hint.

Whispering in his ear what I had seen, he gave me a perplexed look. "Oh? Is that all?"

"But this is big, chapapa!" I exclaimed excitedly, bouncing up and down in anticipation. Who knows when this event would end?

Kumadori, who still didn't seem interested, turned into the kitchen and out of my view. Well, that was no problem for me. I still had to find him before it was too late!

Continuing through the large building that was Enies Lobby, I really wished I could find Blueno. He would be able to get me to my location fast! But he wasn't here, and I was going to have to do this on my own. Unfortunately, the next person I ran into was Kalifa, also heading toward the kitchen.

What luck for her!

"Kalifa!" I exclaimed, torn between telling her what was happening and getting to my destination, "Guess what I saw in the kitchen!"

"What, Fukurou?" She didn't seem nearly excited as I knew she should be; so, inching close, I whispered what I had seen to her as well.

"So?"

Her response was just as lackluster as Kumadori's had been.

Throwing a large scoff in her general direction, I turned from her and continued on my way. There couldn't possibly be much time left!

As I continued through the building, I was beginning to seriously wish that Kaku's room was closer to kitchen so I could've told him sooner. He was going to love what I had to tell him!

And when I was just about there, I ran into Jyabura. Well, I figured I could tell him too.

"Jyabura, Jyabura!" I exploded happily, noticing that I was blocking his way, but not caring. He tried, in vain, to shove past me and finally, when he got angry enough, stopped trying to fight against it and demanded, "What, Fukurou?!"

"Guess what I saw in the kitchen, chapapa!!"

Jyabura's face went a slight pale. "What?" I could hear the nervousness in his voice, and my smile only widened. This was the greatest event in a long while!

When I whispered it to him, he found it extremely more interesting than everyone else had. "Not again!" He screamed, darting quickly to the kitchen. I just laughed. It was futile to think that he was going to make it in time to stop the inevitable.

Finally Kaku's room was in sight! Crashing into the chief, who spilled his hot coffee all over himself, I apologized half-heartedly and wrenched the doors open.

Kaku was currently cleaning off his swords. No doubt wanting to see some action, but trying to be calm about it. However, when I came crashing into the room, his head lifted immediately. "What is it, Fukurou? What's wrong?"

He sounded genuinely concerned, but not for long. Once I told him the news, he would perk up instantly. Catching my breath, I held a firm hand out, silencing any further questions he might've had.

"Rob Lucci," I began, lifting my eyes to meet his seriously, "Is eating a banana." I finished with a very well placed wink. And Kaku immediately caught my drift.

He stood suddenly, knocking his chair over and leaving his swords, unfinished in their cleaning, on the floor. "A banana you say?"

"Indeed. And he's eating it," I continued, slowly my words into a quiet whisper, "Slowly. Chapapa."

A small trickle of blood ran from Kaku's nose. But that was really the last I saw of him before he practically vanished into the kitchen. The indication I had that he got there was the sudden scraping of feet, scratching of chairs along the floor, the sudden moans of Lucci, the immediate screams of the other, and Jyabura's voice floating unmelodiously to my ears: "I tried to warn you guys! The kitchen is not a place for their goddamn sex!!"

And as the commotion continued, feet hurrying desperately up the stairs, moans and screams flooding from the kitchen, I knew it was finished. This was a normal day for the residents of Enies Lobby. However, I always liked to be the one to incite the madness.

"Good job, Fukurou ol' boy," I said, giving myself a pat on the back and waddling from the room.

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The End

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A/N: Shortest story ever! Wheeee! Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed it!