Well, this is just a quick fic I made in honor of Hitsugaya's birthday! I tried to keep everyone in character the best I could.

He wasn't often caught off guard, being a captain and all, but he honestly wasn't expecting to be mauled by his lieutenant, especially this early in the morning. Right about now Rangiku was usually holed up in her room nursing herself through a hangover, but not today, Hitsugaya soon discovered, as his face was pressed, once again, into Rangiku's rather generous bosom.

"Guess who?" she sang as he attempted to free himself to no avail.

"Rangiku," came his rather muffled reply, "how many times-"

But he was interrupted before he could scold her yet again.

"Guess what day it is today?" she bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet making it even more awkward for the flustered captain.

His eyes widened, no, it was impossible, how could she have found out? With a loud sigh, he finally managed to escape his lieutenant who was grinning at him.

"Happy birthday Captain!"

He internally winced, the last thing he wanted at the moment was to celebrate his birthday. All he wanted was a little piece and quiet, which usually didn't happen until Rangiku was either gone or unconscious. He focused back onto Rangiku when he heard a rustling noise and saw that she seemed to be loosening her top. His eyebrows shot upward as he quickly turned his head away, praying she wasn't about to do what he thought she was.

"Aha! Found it!" she triumphantly pulled a small, white box from the inside of her uniform. It had a gaudy blue bow stuck to the top of it and she gave it a gentle pat as she turned back to her captain.

"Captain...are you alright? Your face is all red," she cocked her head to the side as he slowly resumed facing her.

"I'm fine," he stated bluntly, hoping it would be over soon. With a smile Rangiku grabbed his arm and jerked it upwards to force the box into his hand.

He stared at it for a moment as though it might attack him, hey, knowing Rangiku, it was a possibility.

"Well Captain, aren't you going to open it?" she looked at him with brilliant expectancy, waiting for his reaction to her gift.

With a sigh he carefully pulled off the lid and looked inside the box. Inside, nestled amidst plain tissue paper, was a black card. His brows knit together as he puzzled over what it was exactly. It wasn't what he'd been expecting after all. He'd expected Rangiku to give him something embarrassing and perverted....from her this card looked strangely innocent.

"Do you know what it is Captain?"

Taking his silence as a no, Rangiku smiled her sweetest smile. "I though you should loosen up a little so I got you a membership card to a strip club. Now you can get in free!" She clapped her hands together delightedly as Hitsugaya processed this new information. As he'd said before, it wasn't what he'd been expecting...it was much worse. His eyebrow twitched as Rangiku rambled on about the benefits of strip clubs and how the bars always seemed to be good, and how she'd made some great friends there, though she couldn't remember their names because she was far too drunk by that time.

Suddenly realizing his lack of reaction, Rangiku stopped her droning to stare at her captain.

"Captain?"

He exhaled heavily through his nostrils, feeling the oncoming headache in full.

"What's wrong Captain....did you already have a membership somewhere else?" she asked innocently.

He took in a deep breath that was meant to be calming, but instead he ended up using it to fuel the loud yell that soon followed.

"MATSUMOTO!"