Author's Note and Disclaimer: This is my first attempt at writing some sort of all human Twilight story, so please let me know what you think of this and if I should keep going.
And obviously, I don't own Twilight... just the idea for this story. If I owned Twilight, there'd be a new book every year... with lots of sparkly Edward in it...
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"Watching movies by myself on a Friday evening does not make me a social reject," I reasoned to myself as I made my way across my tiny apartment to the couch while balancing a bag of Tostitos, a jar of nacho cheese sauce and a bottle of Dr. Pepper in my arms. Plopping down, I unloaded my treasures and turned on the television to the TV Guide Channel. I scanned the screen while popping open the bag of chips and then flipped to Lifetime. Time for the movie of the week. I stretched my legs out and opened the jar of cheese sauce. Right on cue, the phone rang as I dipped my first chip.
"Hello?" I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand, my eyes never straying from the television. I was in luck, it was a "country girl goes to the big city" story. I loved those. It made my mind race to the first time I had set foot in Seattle eight years ago.
"Bella?" The voice could barely be heard over the loud background noises.
"Alice? Where are you?" I muted my TV and licked some cheese from my fingers.
"The question is where are you? It's Friday night, where the hell are you?" Alice screamed into the phone. Leave it to my ever bouncy best friend to interrupt my quiet Friday night ritual. "Hello?"
"Yeah, I'm here. I'm home." I shrugged unapologetically. From the familiar sounds of glasses clinking and Irish jigs playing on a jukebox, I started picking up that my friend was at the tavern we had frequented during our days as college coeds downtown. I dipped another chip.
"I know that! Miss Cleo could've told me that! What I want to know is why aren't you here with – HEY BUDDY, THAT'S MINE!" she screeched, her normal chiming voice reaching octaves normally reserved for dogs. I heard rustling and shouting and then a slightly panting Alice came back to the phone. "Hey, sorry about that. Can you believe the nerve of these guys? I got up for a second to go near the door so I could hear you and some frat boy took my seat and was about to drink my beer!" Alice scoffed angrily. I stifled a laugh at the image of tiny Alice scaring away a large frat guy. "Freeloader!" she screamed in the direction of said guy.
"What a bastard," I muttered and rolled my eyes. "Maybe you should think about finding a new bar."
"Are you kidding me? Finnegan's is our place! To hell with all these little college kids," Alice ranted. "Besides, it makes me feel young to keep coming back to a place from our youth. Here's to the days before medical school and MBAs!" I heard Alice take a big swig from what I could only assume to be her usual drink of choice, a margarita with a sugar rim.
"Amen to that, sister," I said, taking a swill of my Dr. Pepper. "But, hey, I would've thought that hanging around all the younguns would make you feel old, granny. Isn't it almost past your bed time already?" I grinned. I knew she was feeling anxious about recently turning the big two-six because, as she reasoned, it was more than halfway to thirty, and clearly thirty was the beginning of collecting social security. I heard a gasp from the other end of the phone line and then the little pixie began shouting once more, though considerably less angrily than earlier.
"WHAT? Bitch! Why don't you come down here and say that to my face, Bella?" I laughed, as I could clearly tell she was hoping to provoke me into making an appearance.
"Look, I just don't feel like going out tonight. It's not a big deal." I shook my head and waved the remote control for emphasis.
"What do you mean it's not a big deal? You're always working, you never have a night off! When's the last time you came out with us, huh? Bella, I haven't seen you in forever! I've started to forget what you even look like!" Alice's voice reached a fever pitch, and I pulled the phone slightly away from my ears. After a few seconds, her voice quieted down. "Seriously, though, you haven't been out in ages," she hesitated slightly, her steam dying off from her earlier rant. "Not since Jacob broke up with you."
"Hey, that was a mutual thing! He did not break up with me. He just…initiated it, is all." I said, cringing at the mention of my ex's name.
"Alright, that's fine, but you can't stay home and mope! I bet anything that Jake's not moping around. I'm such he's moved on by now!" Alice continued, effortlessly switching tactics.
"I'm not moping! There is no moping going on here!" I angrily dipped another chip, which broke in the jar. I stared at the drowning chip pathetically.
"No moping you say? I bet you're sitting on your couch in pajamas watching some Lifetime movie of the week. It's probably some tearjerker about a lost puppy or something equally pathetic, and you're probably guzzling soda and popping M&M's," Alice rattled off matter-of-factly. I let out a low growl. Damn that girl knows me well. "What'd you say?"
"I said it's about a girl from South Dakota who moves to New York City to become a ballerina," I said stiffly.
"I knew it!" she said triumphantly. "Bella, you are entirely too predictable sometimes." Alice laughed and took another loud slurp from her drink.
"Well it's not my fault that you're part psychic." I grumbled. I heard more tinkling laugher. "And for your information, I'm perfectly happy sitting here by myself," I lied, wiggling my fingers in the jar of cheese sauce to get the chip out. I slid it up the side and it was almost to safety when it broke off once more, leaving only a small bite sized piece in my fingers. "And it's Tostitos and cheese sauce, not M&M's." I added lamely.
"Sweetie, Tostitos and cheese are the official food of the female moper. Now get your ass down here before I go over and drag you." Alice said firmly and hung up for emphasis.
Sighing in defeat, I stared at the television as the country girl got off the bus and stared in awe at her surroundings. Shutting the TV off, my gaze wandered to a framed photo that was sitting on top of the TV. It was of me and Jake. It was taken about ten months ago, during the weekend we went skiing at Mission Ridge. I hadn't wanted to go, as I hated anything that would require any amount of athletic ability and/or grace, but I had done it for him. That sort of seemed to be a pattern in our relationship, I thought wryly. I would always be the one to bend over backwards to please him. It never really did seem to come back my way, though.
In the photo, we were both wearing red ski parkas which contrasted vividly with the snow as we wrestled on the ground. He was rubbing snow into my head, my brown hair splayed across the white ground, and I was trying to sneak some snow into his collar. We were both laughing, looking so happy to be together and enjoying life. It was before his firm reassigned him to another continent, before the broken promises, before the shouting on static-y international phone lines and before the realization that we were doomed. Sadly, I thought of our last conversation about three months ago. It had never occurred to me that a two year relationship would end over the internet, and yet that is exactly what happened. I had brought up the issue of our lack of conversation and involvement in each other's lives, thinking that perhaps we would be able to repair it. Instead, Jake had jumped at that chance to unload his feelings and had revealed that he no longer felt it would be able to work between us. He though that we were "literally and figuratively continents apart" due to our three month separation. Angrily, I stuffed the cheese soaked chip in my mouth, remembering the cold and distanced way in which he had expressed himself. As much as I wanted to believe it had been a mutual agreement, I realized it had been completely his doing. He was the one who gave up on me, on us and our future. I had put up a fight, but in the end I realized it was futile and that I couldn't hold on to something – someone – who didn't want me. And so here I was, three months later, sitting at home in my pajamas and watching yet another sob story on TV while drowning my sorrows in junk food. How…sad.
How pathetic.
In that moment, something clicked in my mind and I realized I had to change. I couldn't just stay the same as always, pretending I was okay and living life as an empty vessel. I was twenty five years old, dammit, and I was going to enjoy my life even if it would take some not-so-gentle nudging from my best friend.
"Enough," I muttered, crumpling up the bag of chips. Standing up, I picked up my phone and dialed before I lost my nerve. "Hey. I'll be there in twenty minutes. No need to drag me anywhere." I hung up before Alice's shrieks of joy could pierce my ears, and blew a slow breath out.
Time to live again.
What a daunting idea...