I don't own Batman, would you be getting this free if I did?

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Joker is laughing -- Okay, maybe that's not so unusual. He isn't just laughing though, he's roaring with laughter. He's slapping his knee and throwing his head so far back that you can see right past his sharp, jagged teeth, and down into his red, psychopathic throat. He's laughing like the loon he is, and "Batsy, you aren't serious," he yells, "you have to be joking" -- then he starts laughing over again as he adds "Jokes for the Joker, Batstuff, that's rich!"

He drops down onto one knee -- Behind him, Punch and Judy start to chuckle like the good little hench-clowns that they are -- "Bat-booby," their boss says, "tell me you'll be mine and I will die happy" -- He hasn't stopped laughing, he's just started talking, but little snorts and giggles keep popping out. -- "Give me your hand," he says, "I have to do the honorable thing" -- This part sends Punch and Judy into guffaws -- "I have to make an honest woman of you Batcakes." And then he and the rest of them -- Well, basically all the guys in clown-gear in here, are off laughing crazily again.

Batman isn't laughing. He hasn't even cracked a smile. Imagine granite, sitting on a sofa in the middle of an old abandoned funhouse, and that's the Batman. Except that he's wearing a bat-hood and cowl. He just sits there looking at the Joker, and his face is totally expressionless -- Maybe his lips turn down a little more, but that's it, and he says, "I'm telling the truth."

Joker, still busy laughing, hardly looks up. "You're what?" he says.

Firmer, grittier, "I'm telling the truth."

"No way."

"Believe it, Joker." Now the Batman hands over a little plastic tube.

The Clown Prince takes it. He turns it over in his hand, finds where it says Pregnancy Test, and then finds the little pink plus-sign on the screen. Then his mouth drops open.

"These things don't lie," the Batman says.

"No... fucking... way..." Nerveless, the Joker -- Can we call him Daddy? -- stands there. He looks from the test to the Batman and back again, and "no fucking way," he says again, and then, "I am so fucked." And that's when Harley hits him.