Awww, last chapter. Sorry kids. Heehee.

Disclaimer; I do not own WWE. Neither do I own Oprah. He quotes were taken from random sites. All I did was comment on them.
Inspired by: Oprah, Shadie (Yes, that's a real person), world war 2 and eh... That's it I guess.

Please, after you're done reading this, go to my homepage and take the poll.
Your last chance to R&R! Pleeeeaaaaase...

December 31

09:09
Woke up to the sound of fireworks. Fireworks in the house.

09:13
Yes, I am right. There are fireworks in the house. Guess where I am.

09:17
No, not at Ken's. Tsk. How can you think such a thing...

09:23
I gotta call Ken. Heehee.

09:31
"Ken, guess what!"
"You eh... Oh heck, I don't know."
"Neither do I really... I just felt the need to call you." I said.
"Oh, okay. Bye Mark."
"Bye."

How pointles. Eh.

09:36
Hey, isn't it new years eve? Or something? Or well, it's still morning, but you get my point.

09:39
Yeah, it is. That explains the fireworks. Hmmm...
Well, at least the hole in the wall gone. I think Austin fixed it. I still wonder how.

10:00
Glen's ringing.
If you still don't know where I am, you're pretty damn dumb.

10:07
It's not like Kozlov would set off fireworks in his home... He says it reminds him of that war.

"What war?" I asked him.
"The one in Germany."
"Germany hasn't really gone to war since the second worldwar."
"I'm talking about the second worldwar."

I had no idea Kozlov was that old.

10:14
Fishsticks!

10:21
On MSN.

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Hell-o

Maff says:
Hello! Is it tr00?

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Is what true?

Maff says:
That you moved back in with Glen?

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Yah... Very tr00 indeed.

Maff says:
why?

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
I missed him.

Finlay has been added to the conversation

Finlay says:
is it true?

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Is what true?

Finlay says:
That Carlito escaped from his cell again?

Maff says:
Probably.

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
I hope they blow him up tonight.

Finlay says:
yeah me too, right. Who's the funky bunch?

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Bunchlax, Mr. Humphries, Thor and Glen... They're very... Funky

Finlay says:
So it's tr00?

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Yes

Finlay says:
Gotta tell the leprechaun.

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Bye

Maff says:
bye.

Finlay has left the conversation

Maff says:
I gotta go, aye? Jeff needs to be fed.

MarkyMark and the Funky Bunch says:
Heehee. Bye

Maff says:
Bye!

12:02
I'm bored. I might need to watch Oprah again. For some reason Kozlov came by. He might watch too.

12:09
Awww...

"Mark, it's quiet without you." Kozlov said.
"I'm right here."
"He means in his house." Glen added.
"Oh."
"I know what he means..." Glen continued. "I felt it too."
"Pffffff, I don't even say that much." I said.
"You should have a cat." Glen said. "You can have... eh..."

Kozlov tilted his head. I wonder why?

"I'll buy you a kitten." Glen finally said.
Kozlov smirked. "Can I move in with you guys?" He asked.
"Sure!" Glen cheered. Holy hell, he cheered.
"But where will he sleep?" I wondered.
"In your room." Glen said.
"What about me?"
"In the basement."

What a pain. Damnit.
Ahwell, I like the basement.

13:09
Kozlov is going to live with us. I kind of like it. Though he might need to get used to having 3 cats around. And 'Kane'. He may not like how
'Kane' rings in the morning, how he drills holes in the walls and how he dresses up as a gingerbreadman.
Then again, Glen may like it when Kozlov wears his radio again, when he plays checkers and when he talks about his life during 'war'.

13:13
I'm living with two retards. Someone help me please.

13:24
Watching Oprah with Glen and Kozlov. I hope they won't hurt eachother, because Kozlov loves Oprah, while Glen always nags when she's on tv.
They might both start a conversation with the tv.
Ugh, so much for peace and quiet.

13:32
I thought so...

Oprah: "Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together."
Kozlov: "I always thought it was 'duck' tape."
Glen: "Duck as in quack?"
Kozlov: "Yeah..."
Glen: "How dumb of you."
Kozlov: Glared at Glen.

Oprah: "I believe that one of life`s greatest risks is never daring to risk."
Kozlov: "Risk? As in that game? I prefer checkers!"
Glen: "Shut the hell up!"
Kozlov: "You shut up!"
Glen: Hit Kozlov with his baseballbat.

Oprah: "All my life I have always known I was born to greatness."
Kozlov: "Yeah, me too."
Me: "Give me a break..."

Oprah: "Some women have a weakness for shoes... I can go barefoot if necessary. I have a weakness for books."
Glen: "She is such a boring woman."
Kozlov: Hit Glen with Glen's own baseballbat.

Oprah: "Every time you state what you want or believe, you`re the first to hear it. It`s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don`t put a ceiling on yourself."
Me: "No need for ceilings, babybrother of destruction will break them down anyway."
Glen: "... Screw you."
Kozlov: "Mahaha... Ahahaha."

Oprah: "Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn't changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I'm just wearing better shoes."
Kozlov: "I thought she preferred books?"
Glen: "That woman is one big contradiction."
Kozlov and Glen: Looking content

Kozlov has moved in with us, and now I'm starting to see what that will lead to... Even more chaos and destruction.
Why does it always have to be me?

14:09
I'm tired, and it's not even night yet. I wonder what will happen tonight anyway, will there be people here?
Will there be fireworks?
Will there be... Carlito?

14:15
Hmmm Glen took off to go who-knows-where. I hope he doesn't get lost again. I should give him one of those things they have in cars, those things that say 'Turn right after the next trafficlight.'
A TomTom or something? Or in this case a GlenGlen.
No wait, I invented it, a MarkyMarky.

14:18
Some kid just set off fireworks in the neighbourhood. Kozlov was under the table quicker than a person can say 'table'. I really don't get that guy sometimes.

"Mark, the Germans!" He yelled.
"Where?"
"In Germany!"

Eh, what?

15:27
Got a phonecall.

"Hell-o."
"Hello, this is the police department, your bald friend is lost once again."
"Put him in jail."

I hung up.

15:32
"Who was that?" Kozlov asked.
"The Germans."

Kozlov is under the table again.

15:43
Mr. Humphries, Thor and Bunchlax are keeping Kozlov company. Kozlov doesn't like them much, he says they're furry creatures from outer space.

"But where'd they put their spaceship?" I asked.
"What do you think a litterbox really is?!"

16:09
Glen's home. He doesn't look very angry even though I wanted him in jail.

16:17
I'm so tired, I'm going to take a nap so I'm fresh tonight. I need to stay up to say Happy New Year to everyone.
Such a pain, really...

23:01
I'm up and running! Yes, running. Someone set off fireworks near me, and I do not wish to be blown up. Not today. That has happened plenty of times already.

23:05
It's Ken! Ken's here! And he took the Hardys! And Bubba!
Uhw, Bubba's here. Oh joy.

23:09
"Bubba brought big bang." Bubba said.
"Oh really..."

Do I look like I care?

23:15
Making plans for setting Bubba on fire. Bubba goes bang himself.

23:23
Bubba won't catch fire. He's just there, and he's like... Non-flamable. How odd.

23:28
"Bubba, why won't you catch fire?"
"Because nobody is throwing me any."

That is lame. So lame.

"No, seriously."
"I'm made of water."

I think he might be serious.

23:33
I think Ken made a bomb. A real one. I wonder why? Bubba brought a big bang already... Damnit, they might scare Kozlov.

23:35
It's Paul. Paul's here... Why is everyone coming here? Can't they go to Cena?

23:43
Kozlov came out of the house, wearing a helmet. He looks very eccentric, I like it.
Jeff found Glen's baseballbat, and tried it on Kozlov's helmet. Kozlov is still standing up, therefore the helmet has been approved.

23:49
We're nearing the end... What will be in store for me next year? I don't even want to know yet.

23:55
Pretty fireworks!

23:57
Oh look, it's Santino... Accompanied by Beth and Melina. And Dave! It's Dave!

23:58
Hugged Dave. Dave did a Batista Bomb on me. He's very hostile.

23:59
Counting down... Have noticed Matt can't count very well. But who cares... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ...

0:00
HAPPY NEW YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0:12
Bubba brought big bang...

I should've paid more attention to Bubba. Should've been nice to him... I should have played the b-game more often...
But I didn't, and now... Now Bubba made the big bang go off...

In my house!

0:16
I'm homeless now. As are Mr. Humphries, Thor, Bunchlax, Glen and Kozlov. Glad to know Bubba made sure the cats were outside when he blew up the place.

0:19
Turned to Kozlov, who's looking very scared and confused.

"Kozlov man, it'll be okay." I said.
"The Germans are here!" He yelled.
"Kozlov, it's okay..."
"They're here, we're all going down!"
"Kozlov, we can live with Paul and Shawn, I already asked Paul... It'll be fine."
Kozlov sighed. "We're all going down, Marky..." He said with a serious face. "But at least I've got a helmet."

The end of Diary of a Deadman. Thanks for the many, many reviews, adding it to your favorites list, and having fun reading it.

Last A/N: I have NOTHING against Germans. I'm fluent in German, my favorite band is Rammstein and I love the movie Das Boot. Don't be offended please!

There might be a sequel someday. Just not yet....
Thanks, and please, check the poll!