Monday

Lily found Barney slumped face down across the bar at McLaren's one rainy Monday night, just after midnight. She'd only come downstairs in the hope of beating her increasingly rampant insomnia brought on by the stress of their imminent move to the Dowistrepla. She figured that a nightcap (or two) might possibly help her sleep and it was either that or listen to Marshall snoring for another two hours.

As she came through the door, Carl signalled to her, gesturing across this throat as he said, "I've cut him off. He's had enough."

Lily frowned, concerned, and shook Barney's shoulder. He spluttered awake and batted her hand away. "Hwahhht?" He said, one eye seemingly glued shut. He didn't seemed to notice that one of his sleeves was soaked in spilled beer.

"Jesus, Barney! What happened to you?" Lily said, with a half smile of someone who doesn't know if it's appropriate to make fun of their friend's misfortune in case something really serious has happened.

He rubbed his eyes and tried to front it out. "Nothing! Why? What's up with you?"

"Oh please!" She stopped him, ready to give him a punch if needed. "As if that hard-man act was ever going to work on me?" And he did look awful. His eyes were really red and puffy. "Barney Stinson, have you been crying?"

She felt like a bully as she said it because his expression kind-of folded and he slumped down in his seat, not meeting her eye.

"No…" He said, lip curled.

"Barney, seriously! What's up?"

He let out a huge sigh, followed by a hiccup. Still not looking at her, he mumbled, "I told her. Robin. I told her."

Lily shook her head. "I'm sorry, what?"

Barney frowned and looked up, his eyes glazed, reflecting the bar-lights. "We got a little drunk. It was… a bad day… And I told her. I told Robin I love her."

Lily let out a half-squeal of delight. "No! You didn't. What did she… say…" Her voice trailed off as she realised that, from the state of him, it couldn't have been anything good.

"She laughed." He said, still staring into the distance. "At first."

Lily grimaced. When in kindergarten, she'd always tell her kids to try and find the bright side of any bad news. "Well…" She said. "It must have been shock. I mean, did you prepare her for it? Or just leap right in?"

He didn't answer. Maudlin, taciturn Barney was really someone she had no idea how to deal with.

"Okay, so after the… laughter… what did Robin say then?"

"She said… some things." He said vaguely. "She called me some names. Then she said she'd never speak to me again because I'm such a dick for ruining our friendship." Barney's voice never lost its robotic tone; he didn't even seem to see her. But Lily could see the tears filling his eyes.

"Oh sweetie," She said, her heart going out to him. "She didn't mean it. I'll talk to her."

He seemed to come back to himself, focussing on Lily for a moment. "Yeah, she meant it. And she's right. It was a stupid thing to do. I should never have told her."

"No!" Lily said. "No, baby!" She put her arms around him and he leaned into her embrace, trembling like a child. "Oh Barney, I'm so sorry!" She said, kissing the top of his head.
"Lily…" He mumbled, his breath hitching. "I've screwed everything up. Why would she ever want me?"

She pulled away slightly, cupping his face with her hands and forcing him to look at her. "Barney, stop it. You're adorable! And handsome… and generous… and kind… and charming… and…" She kissed him on the cheek. It was supposed to be an innocent kiss, a comforting kiss, like a sister might give to her brother to cheer him up. But he turned his head and his lips met hers and they were surprisingly warm and insistent and before she knew it she had her tongue down this throat and his hands were running up and down her back and if she hadn't needed to come up for air it might have gone on for much, much longer…

Barney jerked away from her as if stung. He ran the back of his hand across his mouth, his expression one of complete horror and revulsion.

"Oh- g- g-" He stuttered, stumbling off the bar stool and almost falling in his effort to get away from her.

Lily stood there, still tasting him, her lips pulsing, not able to process quite what had just happened.

"Oh god I'm sorry… Sorry…" Barney seemed all elbows and knees as he careened across the bar, bumping into tables and chairs as he made for the door. "Sorry!" He called out one last time before diving through the door.

Lily sat down heavily on the stool, her fingers still touching her lips. Finally she looked over her shoulder at Carl, who winked at her, and the full realisation of what she'd done hit her.

"Oh crap," She said.

There was no way she'd get to sleep now.