AN: The song in this chapter does not belong to me but to Staind.
Song: Outside
Band: Staind
CD:
Break the Cycle
(O)(o)(O)
And you, bring me
to my knees again
All the times that I could beg you please, in
vain
All the times that I've felt insecure for you
And I leave
my burdens at the door
I was sick of this, this watching as my fledgling simply threw aside the life that I had given her. Five years and this was the thanks I receive? An ungrateful fledgling. She did as I asked but never did she seem to want to deny what I wanted in order to gain what she wanted.
But I'm on the
outside and I'm looking in
I can see through you, see your true
colors
'Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me
I can see
through you, see to the real you
She refused to see that she was the same as I a monster that knew not but what was set in front of her. Her need to kill was as strong if not stronger than mine. One of these days I just know that she will snap and go on a killing rage killing everything in sight. This in turn would cause my master to have me destroy her.
All the times, that I
felt like this won't end
It's for you
And I taste what I could
never have
It was from you
All the times that I've cried
My
intentions were full of pride
But I waste more time than
anyone
But I'm on the outside and I'm looking in
I can see
through you, see your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly,
you're ugly like me
I can see through you, see to the real
you
She simply did not understand that in order for her to retain something of her former self as a human she needed to drink the blood otherwise my master would put her down did she not understand this? Did she not realize that in a way she was all that I had to hold onto for the rest of our time together? Sure I had the Hellsing Family but I would never truly be their equal she could though, with time, become mine. Yet all she did was refuse my hand that I held out to her to save her from herself.
All the times that I've
cried
All this wasted, it's all inside
And I feel all this
pain
I stuffed it down, it's back again
And I lie here in
bed
All alone, I can't mend
But I feel, tomorrow will be
okay
But I'm on the outside and I'm looking in
I can see
through you, see your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly,
you're ugly like me
I can see through you, see to the real you
I could do nothing as I watch my fledgling flee from me, from my harsh but true words. Her pain spilling from her like blood from an open wound. Did she not know that too heal you must accept your pain. This would only help her. Tomorrow I thought she would return and everything would finally start to get better I hoped.