Sometimes, having an almost perfect recall sucks. Ban Midou rarely forgets anything. Though he denies it, he remembers each of his mothers curses, he remembers every cutting word his grandmother uttered. Worst he remembers the time before, the time when he had a family, the lie he lived when he was very, very young.

One birthday from that time was all that Ban remembers, one birthday, he cursed it at times, maybe if he had not had that as a comparison, the rest would have been easier to handle. Maybe without any such memory the hope that it was a special day would have died a lot earlier.

He was two or three, and his parents were there- both of them. They had seemed to loved him, just the two of them had been his world. His mother and his father had seemed to love him, love each other. His father had played with him in the park, held his hand. His mother cuddled him, stroked his hair. There had been a present wrapped in blue wrapper with a yellow ribbon. It had been a toy car, and Ban had spent the whole day playing with it. Playing with his parents. He thought he was a good boy to have a good birthday.

But he was wrong, he must have been bad, because soon after that his father left him and his mother had changed. It had been his fault, all of it. His mother had told him so, he was not just bad, he was evil.

No body loved a devil. You needed to punish evil, destroy it.

His mother had taught him that. Ban never minded, not really, you see he loved his mother and at least when she was scolding him, hitting him, she knew he was alive. It was the other times that he hated, when she seemed to go away, stare at the wall and look right though him, as if he didn't exist. He hated those times. Then one day she had got real angry, because he had been a really bad boy playing too loudly, she had taken the toy car and thrown it at him. He had not moved as the toy had hit is head, bounced off and broke into hundreds of pieces on the floor. Blood trickling from the cut on his forehead, he stared at the broken toy and hoped his mother felt better.

Then he got the Jagan, and his grandmother had taken him away from his mother. He knew the only reason that she had taken him was because of he had the Jagan, she told him often enough, how useless he was. Still he had wanted his grandmother to acknowledge him, he really should not have bothered even asking. Usually he would not have, he made sure he did not need stuff like that from her – from anybody, he just needed his books. Though there had been nothing special made of the day since his father had gone, he had been only 6 years old and stupid- he had wanted a compliment from his grandmother, and for a damn idiotic reason he had figured it was a good day to ask, December 17, was a good day right?

He had learned differently of course, all he got were those bony fingers around his throat, choking him, and the crap she continuously spewed. Even as he fought it, he wondered if they would all feel better if she had just closed her fingers. What were her exact words, oh he remembered "You are basically worthless, but at fighting you are a genius?" (Tokyopop manga 10)

But being young equated to being stupid. And so he had forgotten that lesson. He and his grandmother had moved around, for more then a year and a bit. They had been wanderers, and dates meant nothing. Then they had stopped at a Witch owned town.

There he had made a friend. A real one. Natsuhiko Miruko and Eris. The grounds had been covered in flowers when they had met, and with the Miruko family around, there had been little fear of attack. So they had stayed in that quiet town for a while. It was wonderful, it was magic. Ban played amongst the flowers with Natsuhiko and Eris, fished in the river that crossed the town. Dived in, played catch and play fought all the time. Ban won the fights of course, but Natsuhiko won at other things. He had been much better at games then Ban, having had more experience. Football and tennis Natsuhiko had taught him both. Ban was really good at scrabbles, but Natsuhiko beat him ever time they played monopoly or poker, Ban just seemed to have no luck with play money.

And Eris, Eris had thought him to make a flower garland, she had thought him to romp in the fields, and to just enjoy. He got his appreciation for big breasts from her. And for Easter, a special holiday for witches, she had given him his first violin. He had taken to it like a duck takes to water. Somehow, he had needed no more then a few lessons, and he played with ease, like one who had been learning for years. Somehow with the violin he played the joy and laughter he felt, that he could not yet put into words.

They had celebrated Natsuhiko's birthday in summer on the 24th of June. There had been cake, drinks, cake, fruits, chocolate, cake, pasta and of course the dark forest cake. It was delicious, there had been a mountain of gifts, and ton of games, and lots of laughter. Ban had played the violin and they had danced. It was a great time. Natsuhiko had asked Ban when his birthday was, and with an embarrassing eagerness the boy had said December 17. Natusuhiko had smiled at him and said "Lets look forward to that, we'll make it memorable for you too, I promise."

And Ban had dared to hope.

Then in Autumn he was reminded that such things were not for him. He was evil, he killed his friends. Eris was dead, by his hand. Her blood was on his hands, why? Did it matter? For all the good reasons, they were like empty promises, it was Ban's fault. His alone, he would make no excuses, give no reasons. He had stood over her body, heard Natsuhiko's threats, her blood on his hands, and no tears had come- not one. The lesson his parents had taught him too deeply engraved in his heart, tears meant nothing, changed nothing, in the end there was no one who wanted to see Ban Midou's tears, wanted him, the Deamonspawn.

They had moved again

On December 17, Ban had been alone. For the first time since Eris death, he had picked up the violin. He stood deep in a nameless wood, no one searched for him, no one heard him. And for the first time he found that the violin could cry for him. If no body heard the music, is it real? If he was going to disappear one day, was he real?

The violin cried and no one heard.

He was only suited to fighting, to killing, they all said it – for other things he was a good for nothing.

The violin screamed, and no one came.

He was a demon, a killer, a monster.

The violin faded to silence and no one cared.

Natsuhiko had made another promise, a new one. And as a dry eyed 8 year old Ban Midou walked back to his grandmother's cold house, he dared to hope, that the next time, this promise would be kept. It was a much more fitting promise after all - then the last one.

Then he was being sent to Japan. His Grandmother had told him a lot, a lot of crap that is. Destiny, the word was meaningless to Ban, he would walk his own path. It had been raining, and the rain coursed down the small face as he was walked to the car waiting to take him away. Sure people wanted to kill him, but he understood, the bottom line was she did not want him around either. He wanted to hate them, but it was no use, he was at fault, not them. He was the demon child.

So Ban had left without protest. With a strange lady, with strange behavior. She kept trying to touch him, but it was too much, and he avoided her touch. Still she was nice. Maria was nice. He had fun with her, they went to the beach and she read to him at night. He liked that best - the reading time. Still she kept calling herself his mother, and Ban really had not liked that, but it had also been a little nice because she really cared. Japan was nice no one knew him, no one hunted him. Also Maria, she had a nice laugh, and nice big boobs.

Then one day, he woke with a strange anticipation. The day went like any other day, he read his books, studied, and practiced fighting. Maria danced around and made strange food. It was a normal day, nice even. Nothing happened, but the anticipation did not die. Finally he went to sleep and still nothing happened. His dreams as always were of blood, of curses and cries. He woke up and the anticipation, was gone, as if it had never been. He was puzzled. He went down for breakfast, Maria had gone shopping. He made some eggs and coffee for himself. He sat at the table and began eating. The 9 year old picked up the newspaper.

His heart froze a little more. December 18th. It had been another lie, the betrayal -for some reason that is what it felt like to the boy-, ran deep. Maria for all her smiles, was looking after him at grandmother's request. For some stupid 'destiny'. She was no mother of his, she did not even really know him. She had not known. December 17 had just been another day to her, his hand clenched tight, hard. It was just another day to everyone else in the whole world too, absolutely meaningless. He had to accept it, there was nothing special about December 17th no one celebrated it. There was really nothing to celebrate. (Not my child, he is a Demon, a monster!!)

Ban stood up, his coffee half drunk, the eggs forgotten. He walked very slowly at first, out the kitchen, out the open door. Then he walked faster and faster, he began to run, faster and faster, faster and faster. He did not know where his legs took him, but the 9 year old Ban did not look back.

Maria returned to an empty house. She was worried, concerned but she carried on with her life. His grandmother had instructed her not to search if he ran, and she was an obedient little witch.

Ban Midou did everything he needed to survive. The streets were not a place for a child alone. It was hard, it was tough, but he was Ban Midou, and he survived. He fought, he stole and he used the Jagan to let people think that they had used him. ** He was good for nothing, except fighting, and like a sword without a sheath he took on and beat all comers. He was cold he was hard, and he was alone. He was a ghost, people saw through him all the time, unless they wanted something from him. He was invisible unless they sought to hurt him. And Ban Midou would not lose in battle. He had no home, no family, he needed nothing, but he would NOT lose.

A local school got the reputation, of being haunted. At times they seemed to hear the lonely strains of a violin fill the air from the seemingly empty music room. It was not a regular occurrence, was erratic, a couple of times every three months, except for one night of the year. For one night without fail, on the 17th of December, the violin was played. The music broke hearts of those who listened, tore at the sanity of those who saw the world as a safe place, and no matter how hard they looked, the violinist could not be found. The music always ahead or behind them. The ghost was never seen. Each year the music got harder, colder, sharper and emptier. The ghostly violinist seemed to be drowning in darkness, in loneliness and none could even see the ghost to lend a hand. None knew why the 17th of December was such a strange sad day.

It was a bright spring day in Shinjuku, the long, cold winter finally over. People wore more clothes in winter, more layers made it harder to pick pockets, spring was a lot easier. More rich idiots walked the streets of the city unaware. The boy saw a good mark, a tall man, his body slouched, walking in a relaxed manner through the city. He had an expensive watch, nice clothes, real clean and smooth. Even his lighter was expensive, Ban decided this man could afford to make him a little donation. The 13 year old was hungry, the winter had been a lean one, and he needed some good money, good food.

Ban Midou was an expert at pickpocketing, he could move with silence and stealth that was envied by others in the trade. He snuck up on the man, and slipped his fingers into the back pocket.

To his utter shock, the man's hand flashed out and caught his. Ban didn't hesitate, his foot lashed out tripping the surprised man, he twisted his hand free, and ran. He did not look back, he dodged though the stalls and the myriad of people, leapt up on the ledges and disappeared into the slums. He was panting by the time him he reached the abandoned building he slept in. But he was satisfied, in spite of the man's speed, Ban had his goal, the guys wallet was still in his hand. Damn only 600 yen, well it was better then nothing. There was a picture of the man and a small girl in the wallet, Ban tossed it to a corner, the wallet may be worth something the picture was not. Ban bought a little food from a shanty stall, and went to his 'room'. It was as dirty, broken and run down area in the abandoned building, a pile of tattered blankets in a corner was the only indication that a human being slept in that decrepit place.

Ban inhaled the rice balls and tepeyaki that he had bought, the remainder of the yen he stuffed in his shoes. On the streets Ban had learned that people could steal any luxury that he bought, food however he could eat fast, and once eaten none could take it from him. So food was a real luxury to spend his yen on. So engrossed he was in the food, that his first clue that he was not alone was a "flick" and the smell of cigarette smoke.

Ban's head lifted in shock, his body immediately battle ready. Such negligence on the streets usually brought death – or worse. The man was holding the photograph, he placed it in his pocket and smiled. Ban did not hesitate, he attacked. The fight was fast and furious. Ban was good, but he was still young. The man was much older and experienced, so the battle was almost evenly matched. Then the man took out a small tube and sniffed, and suddenly the odds shifted. The man was faster and better, Ban raised the stakes, both connected, both got bruised. Finally they both got pushed out the frame-less window, and landed on their feet, Ban on the small stairs and the man on the street. They stared at each other, each had taken the measure of the other during the fight.

The man suddenly smiled, wide and open, he stretched out an open hand "Hey kid, why don't you come with me? Trust me I have no intention of treating you badly". Yamato Kudo having fought him Ban trusted him. Then he had met the sister, Himiko. Yamato, Himiko and him had formed a trio of plunderers, and Ban had learned to laugh all over again. He had food, had a warm place to sleep, and had partners, that he valued more then anything that they plundered.

It was nearing Yamato's 28th birthday. To maybe outrun the curse, they had moved from Shinjuku to a mountain cabin, here it snowed. But curses like memories could not be out run. 6 months of having a family, and Ban Midou found himself walking out in the snow alone again. Again he had killed a friend, a beloved, again they had thanked him and again retribution had been promised by another beloved.

The blood on his hand, Yamato's blood, froze in the cold air, and with it Ban's heart froze over. He would do it, protect Himiko, find a way to save her, keep his promise; he only hoped after it was over she would keep hers.

Ban kept to the shadows, Himiko was still a child and the trio had made some enemies. He kept his ears close to the ground. He heard that another plunderer was interested in Himiko, a very, very dangerous one. Ban confronted the man before he even got a chance to get close to Himiko. He never let on as to why he did it, but he found and fought the man. The man proved too skilled for him to actually kill, so Ban gave him a Jagan that locked his fanatical interest on Ban rather then Himiko and then to ensure that the blond nut-job focused on him, he'd ripped out the man's left arm. Earning himself a maniacal stalker.

Shortly after that, the Transporter Maguruma took Himiko under his wing, and Ban truly withdrew from her life. She was safer that way.

December 17 again, somehow he never seemed to just forget the date and let it slip by. He was 14 and he walked the streets of Shinjuku keeping to the shadows he was most comfortable in. He hardly spoke – to anyone there days. A scream, Ban's feet moved before he registered it, a woman was being attacked by a couple out punks. Not even worth breaking a sweat for. He gave them one warning to back away or die, they chose to die. In seconds the punks lay on the street their necks broken, Ban stepped over the bodies, not sparing them a thought.

Ban turned to the woman, she was young, older then him though and a hooker. She had been grateful, and he was alone. He allowed her to lead him to her room, and the touch of a human was soothing. No emotions, no messy entanglements, a pure business transaction. When they finished, without a word the boy got up, got dressed, and left. Their business was over. He went back to the school, but he wanted no audience, so he took the borrowed violin to the top of a tall abandoned building, and the music that not another soul heard filled the air.

Dying would have been easy, living with his choices that ate at his soul like acid, was the true measure of a man. He was like the notes of the violin that none heard, one day he would disappear, leaving not a trace behind, so it was alright that they hated him, despised him, rather then another, it was better for them that way.

It was a good way to spend a birthday, Ban Midou thought as the music faded. At least he got the touch of a human, without strings, or expectations or meaning. Paid for company was all a devil's child deserved, he had finally come to accept that. The game he used to play with listeners at the school no longer held any attraction, it was better if no one heard the music, sought to find it. Some things were after all, better off not found.

It was the end of spring and raining, the 16 year old Ban was hungry. He wandered in the rain hardly noticing it. He hardly noticed anything there days, other then challenges and threats. Only when he was fighting and killing did he feel alive. The wind blew, Ban noticed the cold. His footsteps were heavy, were of a man much older then 16 years, he was making his way to the market to find some food to steal, he went down an strange street, he had never been this way before. It didn't matter, he had no real place to go to anyway. He walked along, suddenly he stopped, his feet planted heavily. Something tugged at him. He could not place it, he back tracked and saw a little cafe, tucked in the corner. His feet moved him towards it. The Honky Tonk.

Ban walked in, out of the rain. It was small and a little run down, but it was warm. A red head spectacled man stood behind the counter. Ban was familiar with the dark underside of Shinjuku and he recognized the owner of the Cafe now. An information trader par-excellence. The red-head looked at him, and said very slowly. "What's your name kid?" Not since Yamato had someone asked him that question and he replied to show the cafe owner that he was not naive "I'm Ban Midou and you are Paul Wan aren't you." Ban's stood he knew his reputation, his fist clenched waiting for the yell, "Get out thieving punk" to fill the air. Instead the man put steeped the coffee and poured out two mugs.

'Here, Blue mountain coffee, drink it." Paul said pushing the mug to Ban, "Get out of the rain."

There was something about the man, this Paul Wan. His presence seemed comforting, familiar even, without a word Ban sat in the stool and drank. It was the best drink that had ever crossed his lips. No other words were exchanged. Ban finished his coffee and left. He hard a soft "Come back, Ban Midou anytime" as he walked out, and thought he pretended not to hear, Ban Midou remembered almost everything.

He walked out and looked up. He saw Mugenjou, the infinity fortress, and suddenly he had a destination. He had heard of the Thunder Emperor, the Tyrant Lord of Chaos of the Limitless Fortress. He was so empty, so tired, with luck he would meet his match in the fortress. He was drowning in so much blood that doubted he could save anyone. The Lighting Lord was probably a much better savior then him.

Two weeks later with the dawn of summer, Ban Midou made his way to the Limitless Fortress, looking for death...., instead he found laughter and light. Ginji Amano, dragged him from the shadows without trying, and somehow they became the GetBackers.

But Ban trusts slowly and he keeps his secrets especially in those first months.

They walked into the Honky Tonk early one morning in high spirits. They had just completed a recovery mission the day before and were waiting for a nice paycheck from Hevn. Paul was alone at the counter, Ginji bounded off to the Gents. Paul walked up to Ban's table, and placed a small brown paper wrapped box in front of the young man. "Happy Belated, didn't see you yesterday, soo.." Paul said with a smile.

Ban froze, the Jagan user would have been less surprised if someone had shot him in the back. There was a blank look in deep blue eyes, uncomprehending.. "What.. How?" Ban made no move to touch the small packet. He was tense.

Paul's smile faded. "I would have said Ginji told me, but my guess is that you didn't tell him." The sadness in Paul's eyes were hidden by his glasses. "I deal in information remember." Paul said vaguely.

"Its not a big deal, I don't celebrate it, so you can take it back." Ban said his voice stiff, hands clenched to stop any movement.

"I got it on sale, no return policy. Open it already." Paul's voice deliberately matched the flatness in Ban's. He pretended not to notice the slight trembling in Ban's fingers as he opened the small plain packet. A mobile phone tumbled out. "If you are ever going to pay your tab you need it. So its an investment on my part."

Ban's eyes were still dazed as he looked at Paul, the hand that could crush steel with easy caressed the little phone, cradled it gently.

"Ban-chan what have you got there." Ginji said bounding out of the back area.

With a speaking glance to Paul, Ban said, "I asked Paul to get me this, he gets it cheaper then I do. Look there's Hevn. Let's go out and meet her." Ban said skillfully avoiding the topic.

Softly so that his partner of a few months who was finishing off the coffee didn't hear him Ban said to Paul "I.. Paul.. I.. thank you." Without looking at Paul Ban quickly walked out of the Honky Tonk.

"Ginji" Paul said as he was about to follow Ban out. "What did you do yesterday?"

'Huh? We went on a mission Paul-san, got back some stolen jewelry, it was easy. We were done by the evening." Ginji said with a smile.

"And in the evening what did you do?" Paul asked, casually making the coffee.

"Eh! If was great, Ban-chan got me a ticket to watch a Disney cartoon all-night marathon at the discount theater. It was fun, but I didn't really like watching it alone though, Ban-chan said there were only enough money for one ticket, and I won the coin toss. I usually lose that – I was beginning to think Ban-chan was cheating – but I won this time so he wasn't, cheating that is. Anyway Ban-chan said he was going for a drive and I got to watch Snow White, Peter Pan and Sleeping Beauty. I think I fell asleep while watching the one about the half fish girl, when I woke up Ban-chan was there though. He said he snuck in when the ticket man fell asleep after 3am or something." Ginji said with a chuckle. "Why? Paul-san?"

"Huh! Just asking – shouldn't you catch up with Ban?"

"Oh.. bye." The ex-leader of the VOLTS ran off. With a cheery wave.

"You IDIOT. WHY didn't you tell Ginji?" Paul whispered softly his eyes haunted as he stared at Ban's back. A half hour later a customer found Paul, head bowed staring unseeing at the floor, his knuckles white from the pressure of his clenched fists. He snapped out of that when the customer inquired after his health, and began brewing s fresh pot of coffee.

The next year had been a busy one. At first it had just been the two of them and Paul, then Natsumi began working at the Honky Tonk. The biggest case that year had been when they had gone up against the transporters. Ban had seen her again Himiko Kudo, and he had ended up with more words to add to the bank of stuff that he pretended to forget. The bond between the GetBackers had grown, strengthened they were real partners now, best friends even. Ban learned to trust and Ban allowed his magic to open up a little, so that when ever his partner called he would hear, to matter what separated then Ban would hear Ginji, and save him no matter what. Ginji's birthday had been celebrated in style at the funfair, Hevn, Natsumi and Paul joining them. He kept Ginji so bust that the dreaded question never came.

But Ban still kept his secrets.

Winter came, and Ban's discomfort grew. He told no one of course, but Paul knew – somehow he had known. And Ban did not like that. He would avoid the Honky Tonk on specific days. He was secretly delighted when Hevn had walked in on the 14th of December with a complicated mission that required them to go to the mountains for a few days. To retrieve a laptop that had been lost in an avalanche. The Van the laptop had been in had fallen into a ravine and the area was dangerous. They would be staying in a cabin for the 4 days they expected the mission to take. It had been all Ban could do not to agree too fast, he had a legitimate reason to avoid Paul. He was a little sorry (actually a lot) that he would not be able to play the violin and less sorry about missing a little sex, but he was philosophical about it. December 17th worked best when it was treated like an ordinary day.

They spent 2 miserable nights in the ravine. But Ban felt justified, ignoring it had worked best. On the noon of the 17th they found the blasted laptop, that had fallen about half a kilometer from the Van, further down the ravine. They made their way back to the quiet cabin, reaching it at around 4 in the evening. The days had shortened and it was already getting dark. Ginji had a hot shower while Ban set up the fire place, a task he did not trust Ginji with. Ginji made the shower quick, leaving a lot of hot water for his partner. Ban smiled, Ginji was considerate that way, he went for a extra long hot shower. The snake in him truly luxuriating in it.

Ban fastened the belt of his winter bathrobe around his slim waist. He would have to make some instant noodles and tinned salmon for dinner, another task he would not trust Ginji with, Ban thought with a smile. He walked out of the shower drying his hair with a hand towel. The hand towel fell unnoticed on the floor. The room was pleasantly dim, lit by the light from the fireplace and from the 18 candles burning cheerfully on a cake held by Natsumi. Paul, Hevn and Ginji stood smiling at him. Ban glared accusingly at Paul. Paul shrugged shaking his head with a faint smile. Ginji smiled and leaped at his partner.

"Happy Birthday Ban-chan. Happy Birthday. I saw your driving license even before my birthday so I knew when your birthday was. Happy Birthday, when I told Hevn, she made sure Paul-san and Natsumi could come so we can celebrate Ban-chan's Birthday." Chibi-Ginji's death grip on Ban's neck was unbreakable. Natsumi started singing Happy Birthday, Hevn joining in. And Paul gave him a smug look daring Ban to protest. With Natsumi on one side and Ginji on the other Ban conceded defeat, less then gracefully.

WHAM!! "So who told you to climb on people on their birthdays." The Chibi hit, the floor but immediately bounced back. They ate cake, joked and talked. It was a small get together. Natsumi gave Ban a long woolly black scarf that she had knitted herself, Hevn gave him a set of Joke fake boobs to help hit stop being a pervert, and immediately got hers squeezed. Birthday or not, Ban ended up with an elbow to his head. Paul gave Ban a set of 12 purple sunglasses. And Ginji gave Ban a framed picture of the five if them posing on and around Ban's Beetle. Ban Midou did not cry, but his throat was tight in a good way.

At 9pm, Paul bundled the girls in his car and they made their way to Shinjuku. Ban sat on the porch, the duvet on the chair proving an adequate barrier to the cold. He stared at nothing in particular.

"Ban-chan I am sorry I missed your Birthday last year." Ginji said he sat loose limbed sideways next to his partner, he leaned his back on Ban's right arm, dropping his head on his partners shoulder.

"Get off Gin." Ban said, Ginji didn't move and Ban did nothing to push him off. They sat in companionable silence.

Ban sighed from deep in his chest, pushing his glasses further up his nose he spoke softly, "Its okay Ginji, I don't celebrate it. I totally forget most on the time." Ban took a deep breathe of the cigarette he blew it out in a tired breath. "Don't make a fuss Gin, okay, this was more then enough."

Ginji dropped his head to his chest and looked sideways at his parter. He watched his partner for a few moments through the corner of his eyes. Ban was staring into space, his left hand held the cigarette, loosely over his bent left knee, his right leg was stretched out and his right arm slightly behind balancing him and giving Ginji a place to lean on. Moon light played over Ban's fair features, Ginji's throat tightened, his fist clenched, then he smiled slightly and unclenched his fist.

He felt it, the strange hollowness surrounding the Jagan user, it was not self pity, not remorse, it was a weight an almost unbearable weight that was strangely hollow. Ban, his Ban-chan needed time to heal, Ban would tell him when the time was right. What ever it was Ginji trusted Ban, to make things work out in the end.

"Ummmm" Ginji said making no promises, he leaned his shoulder against Ban's shoulder, and the best friends sat, doing nothing - but somehow strengthening their bond.

They had retrieved the Stradivarius, and things moved at amazing speed. They had recovered the IL, Ban (sort of) made up with Himiko, he had met Natsuhiko (sort of), they had rescued the Madoka and freed the Kiriudo and so much more. The GetBackers were a solid team of two, but somehow they were now surrounded by other partners, people who supported them, friends.

It was that day again and Ban had ditched them. Ginji was his best friend, but seriously he was loud. Ban felt the need to be alone for a while, he was happy, almost too happy, he needed to remember. He was pretty sure that when he got back to the Honky Tonk, Hevn, Paul, Natsumi and possibly Rena would be waiting for him, with cake. For a little while he needed to revisit an old habit, he had a maximum of two hours to himself.

Ban was 19 today, he took a deep drag of the cigarette as he looked at the city from the roof of a tall deserted building. Not enough money for sex tonight, damn Ginji for accidentally shorting out the 360, still the violin he 'borrowed' held loosely in his hand made up for a lot. He took another slow drag, letting the smoke sooth him. "Yamato", damn, Ban was 19 today, Himiko would be 17 in a few months, and things would come to ahead. He may not have the 'sight' but Ban knew had known when Yamato had first talked about Himiko's Birthday, that it was important, that date. He would save her, save Himiko no matter what. Ban's eyed the highest floor of the Infinity Fortress. He knew he was destined to fight Ginji, the Lightning Emperor, the Raitei to the death. He knew that that battle was coming and it may have something to do with Hiniko's birthday.

Ban would never, could never kill Ginji, but if he allowed Ginji to kill him, Ginji would be destroyed, his grandmother had talked a lot of crap. Going on and on about there being only two choices. But even then standing in the cold, rain running down his face, Ban had know there was a third option, that his Grandmother would never even consider. His third choice.

Ban dropped the butt and raised the violin, music filled the empty air. He began by playing the 'piece' he played in public in celebration, then he continued seamlessly to his nameless originals. Music that did not exist, because none heard it, none remembered it, it only lived in Ban and when it passed none would even know that once such a heart breaking piece ever even existed. Ban lost himself in his music, pouring the unnamed emotions in his soul into the song.

A lone figure silently walked up the stairs of the decrepit building. Music floated to his ears. It was a happy tune, with a sense of belonging in it, it was the song Ban had played with Madoka. As the figure ascended the stairs, he paused a frown on crossed his face, the music changed – he had never heard this music before, it was sadder, colder lonelier. A sense of waiting was evident in the music, of testing. Then the music became hollow, empty and lost.

Ginji went up the stairs as quiet as he could, but moved faster and faster, as the music kept getting emptier, sadder, lonelier. He reached the top and stopped. Ban stood framed by the moon and the stars. Ban never cried, his Chibi cried crocodile tears over money, but Ban never shed a tear. He never complained, never backed down and never asked anything for himself from anyone even Ginji. For the first time Ginji 'saw' Ban's tears, not running down his face, but in the music that seemed to wrap around his partner, in layers of loss, sadness and emptiness. For all that the song was beautiful, Ginji's eyes filled with tears, as he heard the underlying strength and determination of his partner, to face it all, to fight it all and to win.

The music tore at Ginji's big heart, Ban was beautiful, part of the night, but the music was getting almost unbearable. Ban seemed to come to the end of his piece, the was slowly fading vanishing into the night. And Ginji's instincts screamed, he could not let the music fade to nothing. He had to stop Ban from finishing the music, he did not know why but it was imperative Ginji stop his partner.

Ban lost in the music was aware of nothing else. He had journeyed from the present to his past and his music was a tribute to the blood on his hands. To Yamato, to Eris and to all the people he had killed in his childhood, in his life. The music spoke of the things he had done that stripped him of everything -of pride, of self – of everything in order to just survive. The music was his determination to live, head held high in spite of everything, of everyone and definitely in spite of the so-called destiny that seemed to seek to grind his soul and heart to pieces. Ban played for the future that was weighting on the GetBackers, but Ban would defy destiny, the fading music reflected the line Ban would cross to save Himiko, save Ginji.

The final strains of Ban's heart music was sent out to the empty sky, the music none heard, would now fade to.... The music stopped abruptly, Ban's eyes snapping out of the self imposed trance. Arms closed around Ban's chest, a face buried in Ban's neck and hair, a warm body pressed close to Ban's back. "Ban-chan, Ban-chan, Ban-chan." Ginji repeated this over and over, he said nothing else. Holding Ban tight it was enough. They were the GetBackers and neither would ever be alone. It was not just enough as Ginji held his best friend tight, it was everything.

They stood together for a while, Ginji sighed in his heart. This was not the right time either. "Ban-Chan, come everyone's waiting." He said instead, and firmly led his partner off the lonely roof and into the warmth of the Honky Tonk, that had all the great scents of home. Ban his ritual interrupted felt a little cast adrift and allowed Ginji to drag him along. Ginji had heard Ban's private music, and Ban truly did not know how to react. Ginji was not saying anything, this made it easier – somehow.

He walked into the Honky Tonk, and Ban's jaw dropped.

"Its about time you got here." Paul said the warmth in his voice more telling then his words. The Honky Tonk was a riot of color and decorations. A huge yellow banner with the words "Happy Birthday Ban" in blue took up a whole wall. Balloons, ribbons, and paper animal decorations filled every corner of the small cafe. It would have taken hours to prepare. A table was laden with all sorts of goodies, drinks, treats, homemade rice balls, sushi, shashimi and a large chocolate cream cheese cake. It would have cost a lot, in time and money to prepare.

More than that, the cafe was full, full of people. Paul, Natsumi and Rena stood before him of course, but the rest it was overwhelming. Madoka, Shido, Emishi, Sakura and Mozart were seated in one of the booths. On their table was a lap top, with MakubeX and Ren being connected though live feed to the room. Clayman, Himiko, Maguruma and Maria sat in the middle booth. The arch-angles of the divine design, the teenagers Ten-yen kun, weird glasses, hat boy and the brat Sariel were crowding into the third booth with Kazuki, Juubei and Toshiki. The meter-maid who always gave the GetBackers tickets sat at the counter beside Hevn, Hera and the wheelchair bound Kait sat next to them. At the windowsill Kuroudo Akabane lounged, eyeing the duo speculatively, a mysteriously satisfied smile crossing his lips as he saw the Jagan users reaction.

There were presents of all shapes and sizes around the room. The air was festive, fun and joyful, because it was his birthday? Chibi Ginji jumped on Ban's head drooping him. Ban stared at the yellow and blue sign, remembering that one birthday so long ago. Like then for the first time in a long time, Ban was with his family, so many people who went out of their way to actually celebrate December 17th his Birthday. They all believed it was a special day too.

Ban Midou never cried, but at really, really rare times, Ban found he could be so happy that his eyes burned and his throat clenched, the feeling overflowed and Ban laughed. He joined in the celebration of his birth, it had been a long road, there was more to come but for now Ban Midou was finally home.

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Thanks for reading - PLEASE REVIEW. PLEASE!!!

** The Manga (Local language) 29 has some hints of Ban's runaway period. VERY DISTURBING and quite frankly I cant stomach writing child abuse of this level. The authors were mean to Ban-chan.. waaaahhhhh!!!