Experiments of a Brainiac

Experiment 002: Vital DNA
Danger Factor: 5/10 (for highly volatile Raphie's)
Results: Positive
Scientists Notes: Science has all the answers but some answers can be really, really, annoying! Especially when Mikey is the test subject…

"No! This is treachery, treachery I say! I'll have social services on you, no, the FBI, no wait, the MIB! Oh that would be so cool!" A dark green hand slapped over the incessantly babbling mouth. Raphael quickly received grateful looks from both Leo and Don.

Approaching his squirming younger brother, syringe in hand, Donatello repressed the urge to be unbearably cruel and pretend to be a mad scientist after Mikey's soul or some over fantastical tale Mikey could cook up. Instead his irksome older brother instincts kicked in and he found himself soothing the orange-masked turtle.

"Relax Mikey, it'll pinch for a second and that'll be all okay?" Not waiting for an answer Donatello knelt beside Raphael (who along with Leonardo was pinning the youngest of the clan to the floor) and keeping a firm grip on his little brothers elbow sunk the needle into Mikey's arm.

The dark crimson blood quickly filled the tube and he removed the needle, fleeing to his lab and leaving the not so pleasant aftermath to his older brothers.

Even with his headphones pumping Poison's Talk Dirty to Me into his ears, Mikey's angry yells and battle cries still invaded his sound waves.

Three days later Donatello hesitantly sat down at the breakfast table beside Michelangelo, whom he had quickly won over yesterday by presenting him with his fixed walkman and Playstation. In his three fingered hand he clutched a crumpled sheet of paper and over his bowl of Cheerio's he sent meaningful glances to Leonardo and Raphael.

Finally, when Michelangelo wandered off to play on his newly repaired (and obnoxiously loud) Playstation, The two oldest turtles scrambled over to hear the news.

"Well, what did you find out?"

"Is it good?"

"Is it gonna be okay?"

Donatello drew in a shuddering breath. Their hopeful faces broke his heart a little but he couldn't lie, deep down they had always known the truth.

"I'm sorry guys. Michelangelo… is definitely of blood relation to us."

Almost comically Leo and Raph's green faces paled and as one the three brothers turned to watch through the open doorway as Mikey danced over the couch in victory of his battle against the evil dragon overlord.

"God help us all."