This is probably the final chapter, although I might post one last chapter. Enjoy. And Merry Christmas. Belated.

Chapter 4: What Fathers Say and Remember

"You look beautiful."

She smiles at me nervously as her hands fidget and as she stares, tapping her feet. She's so nervous she can hardly control herself. We are sitting outside the Church, sitting on the steps. She asked to go outside for awhile --- she needed a breath of air. I went with her --- just because.

"Lily," I say softly.

She turns to look at me.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes." No doubts.

"He loves you."

"Yes."

"Then you have nothing to worry about." I smile at her half-heartedly. She doesn't look any less nervous and I know what I have to say. I've had this speech prepped up since forever. I think all fathers do.

"He's The One, Lily. He is. James loves you and you love him. You both want it and I've never seen you so happy." I stop, thinking of the right words. "You're his, you know, the same way he's yours." I turn to grin at her, but it doesn't reach my eyes. "This isn't a mistake, this is love and it's just right to be nervous, although I'm warning you, I'm going to cry." I don' feel happy. I should feel happy, but I just feel a sense of remarkable loss.

"Dad," she whispered, reaching to hug me, her eyes brimming with tears. I hug her as if I'll never let her go. She is my little girl again, just for one moment, and I remember.

She grew up in a little house in the suburbs, she played with her older sister, she blew bubbles as a child, and she used to hate her red hair. She cried once when her doll broke, she went to a school for witches and wizards, she had three best friends, she had boyfriends, she was Head Girl and she graduated. She loves chocolate chip cookies, she hates oatmeal, she sometimes runs around fields for no reason and she adores sunflowers.

She hated a boy named Potter --- and she fell in love with a man named James.

She laughs, she loves and --- she lives.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Love you right back, dad," she whispered back.

Then the wedding march starts and someone opens the door for us, telling us to hurry inside. I love her, she loves me, she's in love --- it's enough. Not enough to comfort me fully, because I know I am losing her, but I can only accompany her on this journey, watch her from the sidelines. I can only let her go. I reared her, you know, I raised her. She'll be okay.

Fathers will understand, fathers will give away, fathers will know, fathers will cry, fathers will remember, fathers will understand.

It's a father thing, after all.

Butterfly Kisses

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.

But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember ---
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses…

I tried my best, although as I am not a father, I don't know if I captured it right. But I tried. Tell me how I did, would you?