I am so sorry, honestly. I wrote this so, so long ago and always thought 'okay I'm putting it up now' then reading through it and editing and changing things till I forgot to put it up, or the internet connection went weird again. I'm really sorry, but I really hope you still like to follow my story. I think this is a funny chapter, but explains a lot about Elizabeth too. On with the story

Will January 20 2008

"Come back William, you know you want to" said Jack lazily. I stared incredulously at the phone for a few seconds before putting it back to my ear.

"What the hell do you mean I want to? Are you insane? I'm living with two women in a million dollar apartment complete with sauna, facing Central Park. Oh and did I mention the elevator works as well?"

Jack just laughed. "I think you might be exaggeratin' a bit- you clearly can't handle living with two women William. Just- come back"

I laughed to myself. Jack, Jack bloody Sparrow begging me to "come back".

"What, so I can watch you and Lace suck face? I think I'll pass"

"Will, she's not here anymore" Jack said calmly.

"Anymore? Well of course- why would she still be there if you're done with h-"

"No, I told her to leave as soon as you left"

"Told who? Lacey? Or Em? Or was it Mel? Or maybe all of my girlfriends?… Oh yeh, that'd be right"

Jack sighed. "I'm sorry, I sincerely am sorry." Jack sounded like he was mourning someone's death. Not that he'd ever mourn anyone's death. But he changed his tone almost immediately. "And anyway, what do you mean all of your girls- I never even looked twice at whatshername redhead chick"

Goddamn I wish he were here, I would've punched him. "Am I supposed to feel lucky?"

"Now that's not what I meant"

"So?"

"So…you… can come back now. Please." Jack even sounded uncomfortable. If I wasn't so pissed off at him I'd be laughing my face off.

"No thanks" I said sourly.

"but I said I'm sorry!"

"But you're clearly not sorry" I pointed out.

"I'm lonely" Jack feigned sadness.

I had to laugh. "What the fuck Jack? You, of all people are not bloody lonely- in fact I bet there's some new chick next to you right now"

"That is absolutely not true"

"Jack, this is pointless. If you call me again I swear I'm coming over there to kill you-"

"you promise?"

"What???"

"Do you promise me that if I call again you'll come over here and kill me William" he repeated in monotone, as if talking to an imbecile. I just hung up the phone and sighed. Before I could even turn it off Jack called again. I let it ring and vibrate in my hand, humming along to the Mario theme that was my ringtone.

To my horror, Kaia appeared from behind and yanked it off me. She hit the little green button and held it to her ear. Shit.

"Hello?"

I got up and lunged at the phone, but she quickly darted away from me.

"So this is the notorious Jack Sparrow! how very unpleasant it is to meet you!"

Oh, god. And I couldn't even hear what Jack was saying.

"Aww poor you Jack, all lonely and by yourself, maybe if you hadn't had sex with your best mates' girlfriend you wouldn't be so lonely!"

There was a long pause while Jack tried to think of some witty comeback, no doubt.

"What?" she practically sang. In fact she sounded so much like Lacey, I was impressed. "Who say's Will's lonely? He's got me!"

I stared at her in disbelief, trying not to laugh. "What the- K you can't- he knows you're my cousin"

She didn't listen to me but instead giggled into the phone, obviously having the time of her life. "What do you mean incest?" she said, giving a ridiculous giggle. "I'm not his cousin, my name's Penny Rose! haven't you heard of me?"

I listened on, mortified. "Who the hell is Penny Rose, some famous prostitute?" I whisper-yelled at her. She laughed back silently, shrugging.

"Pity Jack, pity. Ooh! I gotta go, Will needs me. Bye bye Jaaaack!" she said in a sickly sweet tone. I nearly gagged. Kaia threw the phone on the couch and doubled over laughing. Pretty soon I was joining her.

"Penny Rose?" I wheezed.

She just laughed at me harder.

--

"That girl is evil, I'm telling you! and- I'm more than glad that you ditched her. And can I just say- I told you so" she said in a child's voice, wiggling her finger.

I groaned. "I get it now, K"

"She is like, Satan's best friend you know, how the hell and why did you fall for her?" She sighed, shaking her head at me. I only felt more pathetic with all her exaggerated actions and facial expressions.

"I said I get it Kaia. Thanks. Sorry for not listening to your advice. So can we please finish dissecting my relationship with that crazy bitch now?" I took a sip of the hundred dollar wine Kaia had bought us to celebrate the end of my so called relationship.

Kaia went on as if not even hearing me. "You know…. in the last term of junior year she snuck weed into Elizabeth's locker, and Liz got nearly got expelled for possession of illicit drugs" she said, in such a light tone I was confused.

"You cannot be serious" I said slowly.

She scoffed. "Do I look serious?"

I looked at her. "No. You have chocolate on your nose" I said pointedly. She narrowed her eyes at me. I gulped. "just kidding, you look fantastic"

She sighed loudly and then licked the chocolate off her nose. Honestly Kaia can do the weirdest things. "Will shut up okay, I'm serious" she said, albeit rolling her eyes. "Anyway, look what happened the last time you didn't believe me- Lacey got naked with Jack" she pointed out like a smartass.

"But why would she do that??" I murmmured.

"Um, duh. Haven't we discussed that already?" she said, staring at me with a disbelieving look.

I sighed. "God K, you know what I mean. Why would she put weed in Elizabeth's locker?" I said, frustrated.

Kaia sighed again. "Well she just didn't like the fact that her boyfriend had a stupid crush on Liz. Liz didn't even know or care though, she wasn't into guys or parties" she shrugged. "Anyway, Lacey decided to get rid of Liz because she thought she was a, quote, 'upcoming threat to the hierarchy' "

I was honestly speechless. Hierarchy?

"Well they found out it was Lacey right?" I demanded.

"Yeh, but Elizabeth's dad pulled her out of school anyway. After everything happened, her dad decided that school was a too much of a dangerous place to be and told her to homeschool til' senior"

"Wow" I remarked. I'd never known anyone who was home-schooled.

"Liz didn't mind, I don't think. Not after a while at least. I think she really liked being at home and not having to worry about everything associated with upper-east side high school" Kaia confessed. "I'm not sure though, I was a really lousy friend to her." she mumbled.

I raised an eyebrow.

Kaia just looked at me uncomfortably. "Please don't ask"

I shrugged. Kaia hesitated briefly before continuing slowly.

"Besides, she'd flip with she found out I told you all this…so…-"

"I know nothing" I assured her. "What about Lace, she would've got chucked out of school right?"

Kaia laughed loudly. "No way. Her parents like, own the thing. And several other skyscrapers." she stared humorously at me. "I thought you would know??"

I scowled. Come to think of it, Lacey and I've never actually had a proper conversation without us either getting into some argument or ending up naked. Some relationship.

"anyway, the whole time I didn't even know- she just told me she was moving school. I just believed her and never called for two years" she muttered, almost inaudible.

"And you wonder why she doesn't exchange conversation with you?"

"I know, I was a pathetic friend if I ever was one, but that's not the whole reason we don't talk" she said miserably.

"There's more?" I questioned.

Kaia sighed heavily. "She'll honestly kill me if she finds out I t-"

"I promise I wont say a word" I cut in.

"Okay. Well she had this boyfriend you see…'cause her dad let her go back to school for senior year for exams and stuff. Anyway, his name was Edward and he was new to the school the year before… and they were so, so so close. In fact she stopped hanging out with us in favor the Cullens table… which is understandable since I wasn't a very good friend but anyway…he was so weird. And so unbelievably gorgeous. Like, some sort of god in human form! A-"

Kaia stopped, probably seeing my facial expression. "What?!" she exclaimed indignantly. "It's true!!"

I chuckled. "yeah okay, go on"

"Anyway," she eyed me evilly. " he sort of changed her…like…they were completely obsessed with each other, you could tell…and the Cullen's were really strange, they all looked like Gucci models and like, they never seemed to eat anything at lunch, but for some reason they still looked a lot healthier than Liz who'd lost a bunch of weight and she like… became attached to him. It was really weird. Lacey was furious of course, since Edward never dated anyone and he was Liz's first ever boyfriend, maybe that's why-"

"first?" I cut in. "I don't believe that."

"Oh no, you caught me lying! I guess I'll just shutup now" she sneered at me sarcastically.

"No no! I'm sorry! I just thought that's weird…I-"

She sighed loudly. "She was home-schooled for the majority of high school remember? And why do you care?" she narrowed her eyes at me.

I just shrugged, afraid of saying the wrong thing in which case Kaia would probably stop telling me everything about Elizabeth.

"well anyway she'd gotten more and more distant and weird and I was kind of worried! so…I told her dad" she whispered. "and then her dad flew back a week later -from work in London or something- straight away and went completely crazy at the sight of her 'cause she'd changed so much and all…and then her dad told, well yelled at Edward to leave "or else" And then when he found out Edward still hadn't left the next day he told her if she agreed to go to some psychiatrist to make her eat right again he would let Edward stay, so she went. But then after that Edward ditched her anyway and left New York and hasn't come back since."

I stared at her, bewildered. I didn't move my mouth until everything made sense. But it didn't. I mean, what a wanker. Jack could be my best mate compared to this Edward 'god-like' dude.

"After all that he ditched her? And he hasn't even tried to contact her?" I said, loathing his guts already.

"That's the thing, he has." Kaia looked uncomfortable. "He used to write letters but…I kept them from Liz, and eventually she found out. And now she hates me"

I stared at her in disbelief. "I wonder why" I remarked.

"Will I had no choice, if she read them she'd try to find a way to get to him and the whole point was for her to think he didn't want her anymore- Her dad and Edward even told me that he wasn't good for her and that him leaving was the best way. But I couldn't let her see the letters 'cause she'd get even more depressed and try to find him. And then after a while he stopped writing because she never replied. And then when she found out what I did she wrote this twenty page letter to him and then he never wrote back" Kaia looked near tears.

"Please don't hate me" she added, sounding desperate.

I swallowed uncomfortably, taking it all in. "Why didn't he just call?"

"Elizabeth's dad confiscated her phone and when she'd gotten a new one she'd forgotten his number and he obviously didn't know hers anymore."

"But then how does he know where you live?" I pushed.

"I told him…by mistake. He still had my number and he rang me to ask if she was doing alright and where was she living, and I told him she was living with me, so he automatically knew where because he's been here before with when I had a party for my 18th.And I asked him not to call, and so he didn't. I never thought he'd start writing to her or anything, I meant not call as in not contact! And anyway, who writes letters?"

She took a deep breath.

"So Elizabeth has every reason ro hate me" she concluded.

I just nodded, then poured another glass of wine for us both. I handed Kaia one and she took a big slurp then grabbed me violently. Deep red wine spilled all over my shirt. I groaned.

"Shit! Sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"Suddenly feel the urge to injure me? Doesn't matter weakling you didn't even come close." I growled, grabbing a bunch of tissues and attempting to dry my shirt.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "No, spill wine on you" she said sarcastically. "I was just going to tell you NOT to tell Elizabeth anything I said to you."

"Why would I do that? Remind her of everything she already knows?" I asked.

"Will, you jerk! You know what I mean. If you tell her what I told you…she'll murder me. But not before I kill you first." she warned.

"I'm not an idiot okay, obviously I won't say a word." I put an arm around her neck to attempt to look comforting, but she yanked it away and then screamed.

"Will! What the hell! You spilt wine all over me! Ughhh my hair!!"

I laughed at her, hair all wet and dripping. "No you did, when you rejected my brotherly comforting arm"

Kaia scowled at me with disgust. "Ew, you're not my brother, idiot"

I laughed again. "You're right, Penny Rose""

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