A/N: Oh my! You guys just won't believe this, but it was so funny when I was told. Apparently, my cousin and his mother had a little adventure in the kitchen a while back. I couldn't stop laughing when Auntie told me about it. She's a wonderful aunt, but a little messy sometimes. And things like this happens when she is extra careless.

Simply; Mikoto is starring my Aunt. Itachi is starring my cousin that was there with her. Sasuke is starring my cousin that was not there with her. Fugaku is not in the fic, but he is still starring my uncle. And Naruto and Sakura is just there because I wanted them to.

Now, please keep in mind that I have changed the conversation (probably) since I didn't know what my aunt and cousin where talking about when it happened, but the rest of it is exactly as I was told.

Warnings: OOC-ness, some cursing.

Pairings: None, but earlier sasusaku is mentioned, just for the sake of conversation.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Uchiha-family, and I do not exactly own my aunt and cousin either… but they're still mine, somehow. o.O XD

Dedicated to: Auntie and my dear cousin. Not that they'll ever read this, but still.

Itachi silently watched his mother trip into the kitchen, poke about in the cupboards and finally grab a chocolate bar. He decided that he had been unnoticed long enough, and cleared his throat loudly.

Mikoto gave an undignified, choked squeak and swirled around to stare at her son with wide eyes, a distinct look of guilt written all over her face.

"Oh. Itachi. Are you in here?" She gave a nervous laugh. "I didn't see you."

He didn't answer, but instead kept his gaze glued to the chocolate bar in her hand.

"I was just… just going to make dinner, honey", Mikoto continued, making quick waving motions with her free hand as she – as fast as possible – propped the rest of the candy in her mouth and chewed furiously, as if getting rid of the evidence also would erase her son's memory of this horrible act.

"Ah", Itachi acknowledged. "And eating sweets before dinner is naturally alright as soon as you're eighteen, isn't that right?"

The black-haired woman looked even more guilty now. She had always made sure that her children never had been allowed any sweets before dinner. Not that Sasuke was a big problem – that boy wasn't overly fond of any kind of candy – but Itachi…

She quickly found her composure again.

"No, honey, only hard-working mothers are allowed sweets before dinner." She walked up to him, kissed his forehead and gently tried to usher him out of the kitchen. "Why don't you go spend some time with your brother before dinner's ready? It will take a while."

Itachi, annoyed at being treated like a nuisance, refused to move from his spot.

"Nah, he's just upstairs playing X-box anyway. I'm not feeling up to that."

Mikoto gave him a hard stare.

"Well, then it's your job as the big brother to get him out. It's not healthy to sit in front of a computer as much as he does."

"TV, mom", Itachi tiredly corrected her. "He's sitting in front of the TV."

She scowled, obviously not listening, as her hand moved almost automatically to chop the carrots into equally small pieces.

"Teenagers these days", she said, more to herself than to her son. "I read an article just a few days ago. It said that the average teenager watch TV four hours a day, and sit in front of those computers even more! I don't get how they have time for it…"

Itachi rolled his eyes, grabbed an apple and jumped up on the kitchen worktop, childishly kicking his legs back and forth while listening to his mother's ranting.

"Children need to spend more time outside", she now said, "doing sports and hang out with their friends… meeting new people their own age! It's supposed to be the best years of one's life, and here my youngest son is just wasting those years in front of a computer playing games."

"TV", Itachi tonelessly corrected her – again, "he's sitting in front of the TV."

Mikoto still didn't hear him. Now she furiously peeled potatoes.

"No wonder he's so pale, even during summer! He's never outside anymore… It's such a shame. And he who is so popular. He has so many friends. That Uzumaki boy… What's his name again?... "

"Naruto", Itachi helpfully provided.

"Oh! Yes! I remember now. Naruto, right?" She still wasn't listening. "Sasuke and he are such good friends. He should spend more time with him. They could go clubbing together. Or maybe you young people don't do that these days?"

"That depends on. Sasuke sure as hell doesn't."

"Don't curse, honey."

Well, at least it got her attention.

She swiftly put meat and vegetables in a big frying pan, before she continued her rambling.

"He needs a girlfriend, don't you think?"

Itachi deemed it not being worth to answer. She wouldn't hear him anyways, unless he cursed, and then she'd just tell him off for it.

"That Haruno girl he dated a while back, what happened with her? Did they break up?"

"Yes mother. They agreed that they were more comfortable as friends."

Not listening. Not listening.

"Sasuke never tells me what's going on any longer. When he was little he'd always come running and telling me of his day. Now I have to pry everything out of him. I don't understand it…"

She turned to look at her eldest son.

"Itachi, honey, do you know what happened with Haruno-san?"

He groaned loadly.

"Yes mother. They agreed that they were better off as friends."

Mikoto scowled.

"There's no reason to take that tone towards me, young mister. Both you and Sasuke have grown so rude lately." Her face turned worried. "There's nothing wrong, is there, honey? You know you can tell me and father if anything bothers you."

He tried hard not to roll his eyes.

"Yes mother, I know that. And maybe I wouldn't take that tone if you'd just listen to begin with."

The scowl was back full force.

"I am listening! I always listen. Don't try to blame your bad behavior on others, Itachi, that just makes things worse."

He felt like snapping back at her, for accusing him of lying of all things, but he knew she was stressed. She worked full time, took care of a household, raised two teenagers and had a husband that never was fully satisfied. She was only human, and Itachi knew that he wouldn't be able to walk a mile in her shoes.

"Hn."

Mikoto continued to glare for a second, but then a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"You are so much like your father, did you know?" She gave a dreamy sigh. "He was just like you when we were young."

Itachi's dark eyes narrowed.

"Mother", he said, warningly.

Who the hell wants to hear that they're similar to their parent?

"Yes, tall and mysterious… but deep inside as soft as a puppy-dog." She giggled.

Itachi squirmed, now uncomfortable. Too much information! It was getting embarrassing,

"Mother, please", he mumbled. "Save that for when I'm not around."

She blinked and looked at him, confused at first, but soon her eyes began to twinkle with mirth.

Itachi sniffed the air.

"Mom?"

She blinked again, and this time the confusion didn't disappear.

Itachi's eyes drifted to the stove behind her. His eyes widened.

"Mom. The fan is on fire."

And it was true. The kitchen fan above the stove was on fire.

Mikoto swirled around (for the second time that day) and stared, shocked, and the burning fan.

"B-but", she stuttered.

Just then the fire alarm went off.

The fire wasn't big, hadn't spread much, but it still was unnerving to see the fan above the stove with their (forgotten) food on fire.

"Mom", Itachi spoke up, feeling oddly excited at the workaday-action, "Mom, should I call the fire department?"

Waking up from her shock, Mikoto sent Itachi an annoyed glance over her shoulder.

"No", she proclaimed brusquely, and then she walked out of the room.

Itachi looked after her, surprised, still seated on top of the counter, kicking with his legs like a child. Soon the alarm went quiet again. He momentarily let his eyes drift back to the kitchen fan again, just to see if it miraculously had stopped burning, which it hadn't, but once he heard footsteps approaching, his dark eyes once again focused on the door-opening, waiting with curiosity for what his mother would do.

Mikoto marched into the room with the fire extinguisher in a secure grip.

"What happened to the alarm?" he asked, wonder in his eyes. Had it stopped working or something?

"I took out the battery", his mother answered coolly. "It would be annoying to listening to it while I try to fix this."

Took out the battery? Well, he couldn't deny that all of the Uchiha-family had a streak of pyromania, but wasn't that going a bit far since, obviously, their kitchen fan was on fire?

Itachi quickly shrugged it off, before he realized the next safety-step they were supposed to take.

"Well, mom", he said. "You do know that when you are in a house on fire, you should crawl out on your hands and knees, right?"

His mother pushed her long hair behind her ears and started to read the instructions on the large, red extinguisher, not bothering to answer her son.

"And you should be as low as possible, since smoke rises, and it's poisonous to breath in too much smoke", he continued. "Sasuke is upstairs. You think he'll die?"

Mikoto snorted, as she tried to figure out how the hell this extinguisher-thingy worked.

"No, honey, he won't die just yet. Don't worry."

He was silent a moment while he watched his mother point the extinguisher at the fan, and then pull something silvery off it.

And suddenly lots of white foam flew from the tube onto the fan and the stove and the food and the wall.

The fire was nowhere to be seen.

Mikoto nodded happily to herself, put away the extinguisher and turned to Itachi with a smile.

"Why don't you order some pizza, honey?"

He nodded mutely, eyes wide, staring in awe at the mess his mother's usually spotless kitchen had been turned into.

Her smile turned wider, sweeter.

"And remember to ask Sasuke which pizza he would like before you order for him, ne? I hate it when he spends all dinner complaining about getting the wrong one."

"Are we having pizza for dinner?"

Both Itachi and Mikoto immediately looked to the door, where no other that Sasuke himself stood.

"Was that the fire alarm that went off earlier?"

Neither his brother nor his mother answered. Sasuke's dark eyes travelled to the frothy stove and ruined food, taking in the picture.

"What the hell happened here?"

Itachi cleared his throat, finally coming to his senses and deciding that maybe his little brother deserved an explanation after all.

"Workaday-action."

The look Sasuke gave him clearly proved that he didn't get it, but at least he didn't ask again.

A/N: LOL! It's all true! At least from when Itachi noticed the fire and onwards. My aunt has gotten herself a new kitchen fan now. ^^ No one got hurt. All is well. Otherwise I wouldn't laugh at it.