My Life as a Teenage Ninja

By The Mauve Lantern

Chapter 1: A Boy Named Sue

Once upon a time, there was a village hidden in a land of thick forests, where the people were prosperous and happy. Those that lived in this place came from all parts of life, and each of them were special and unique in their own way. And though they were a peaceful people, there were those that sought to overthrow the peace these people shared. These people were called "Akuma", and their leader was a ruthless man known only as Kensei.

Kensei was a man who grew bored with the peace and stability of the world around him, and he formed a group of like-minded individuals to start riots and instigate chaos in the village. Akuma was very powerful, and grew more and more powerful with every passing day. Only the leader of the village, the Hokage, could defeat them in combat. The Hokage, a man who believed that the death penalty would not be enough for Kensei and his ilk, convened with the leaders of other villages, and they came up with a solution: exile for the political prisoners. In that age, there was a land that was discovered to the north that was nameless and unchartered; it was the most perfect of places to let their prisoners, in effect, run free.

So, on the 15th day of the 11th month of the year 1899, Kensei and the leaders of Akuma were banished to the unknown land to the north, where they would be forced to live for the rest of their lives…

***

"Crap! I'm gonna be late!"

In bustling Central City, a one Sue Bindy is currently five minutes behind schedule, and will miss the morning bell again if the heavens have their way. But Sue is not going to be done in by something as insipid as the heavy morning traffic or the heavy smog. The boy pulls a skateboard from his bag and sets out along his patented shortcut, the wheels clicking each time they hit a crack in the sidewalk.

Yes, Sue Bindy is a boy, despite his more feminine name. He is young, barely fourteen years old, and has entered into his first year of high school. His typical outfit, which he is wearing today, is a blue hooded sweatshirt that has the sleeves ripped off at the shoulders, a black t-shirt underneath, and a pair of jeans that have holes in the knees, along with a dingy pair of sneakers. Sue's long, chocolate-brown hair is kept away from his face in a ponytail, which falls to his shoulders.

The boy pushes his skateboard along the road, avoiding pedestrians left and right, and is greeted by the usual morning chatter.

"Watch it, ya brat!"

"You almost spilled my latte, you jerk!"

"Maverick!"

"Hooligan!"

"Punk!"

Sue takes all these insults in stride and continues to push down the road until he spots an empty bench and a brick wall right next to it. "Perfect," he says with a grin as he pushes himself and his board into the air, landing first on the bench, and then on the top of the wall, where he slides along perfectly. He feels a surge of energy rushing through his body as he maintains perfect balance upon the wall, but it quickly vanishes when he sees the parked car in the road. "Oh, come ON!" he shouts as he tried to think of a way around it without getting nailed by traffic. Can he jump the pick-up truck?

"Only one way to find out!" The mischievous boy pushes with all his might, and then jumps, using every ounce of strength in his legs, into the air. For a brief moment, it looks as though he is going to make it…WHAM! Sue's jump falls short when he crashes right into the bed of the truck, his skateboard cracking underneath him.

He shouts, "Dammit!" but he knows that he is wasting precious time, so he climbs out as fast as he can and dodges around traffic, nearly being hit multiple times along the way. The loss of his skateboard saddens him, but it comes to no surprise to Sue; after all, this usually happens twice a week, if not more so. "Until Mayor Allen starts turning things around like he SAID he would," Sue thinks to himself, "these roads are gonna be complete shit until I move away!"

Sue finally gets to the other end of the sidewalk and finds that, despite his skateboard malfunction, he's still on-time for the city bus, which will take him to Central City High. He brushes a stray strand of hair from his face, and he looks at the cheap watch around his wrist. 7:19 AM. The watch shows this image in dull, red numbers that blink on and off repeatedly. "Can't believe the guy at the YMCA gave me such a cheap-ass watch," he broods as he readjusts his backpack again.

"But the bus is here, so who gives a crap?" Sue waits as the silver bus pulls up to his stop, and he lets the other people get out before he climbs on. The fluorescent lights in the bus shine dimly, and the driver is a bit of a prude, but the boy has grown to liking the bus system of Central City. Everything is familiar about it: the bus will always be on time, the old lady with the grocery bag will always nod her head and say "Hello", and there will always be an empty seat next to Iain McDonald, the number one douche-bag in the freshman class.

Iain McDonald looks up from his iPod and glares at Sue. "And here I was thinking that I wouldn't have to look at your f-ugly face this morning; how silly of me," the pale-skinned boy groans as he puts his headphones on.

"And a "Good morning!" to you too, asshole."

Sue sits next to the boy, and looks him over. Today, Iain is wearing a pair of black jeans that appear to be very small, a baggy, black shirt that features three red, diagonal slashes and the name "Switchblade" at the top, and a pair of black and white-checkered sneakers that have low tops. His hair is black and shaggy, and it spills onto his face, almost covering his eyes. A spiky bracelet adorns both his wrists, and there is black nail polish on both his hands.

"Whatever, freak. Just try not to bother me, got it?"

"Yes sir, your emo-ness!"

"Drop dead."

"After you, Dracula…"

Yes, everything is running right on schedule. "And now," Sue says in his head, "Iain will turn on that damn scream-o music." The sounds of a thumping bass and savage shouting burst from the spot next to him, which prompted Sue to put on his blue toque and try to drown out the awful music with his own, alternative selection.

While Sue is bouncing his head to the beat of the music, Iain pulls a cigarette from his jeans and lights it up. Sue notices this but says nothing; the same cannot be said for the bus driver. "Hey!" he shouts, "Put that thing out, kid! You know the rules!" Iain did not put out the cigarette, but he shook some ash from the end and then got out of his seat.

"'Scuse me, Bindy, I'll be right back," the boy says as he puts on a pair of fingerless gloves that have a flaming skull on the front.

"Try not to make us crash, okay?"

"I can't promise that."

Sue puts one hand on his head and mumbles, "God dammit, every single morning…"

Iain makes his way to the front of the bus, where the bus driver is, although the older man is much more nervous than before. At last, the pale-skinned boy reaches the front and grabs the collar of the driver and hisses into his face, "Tell me to stop smoking one more time."

The driver stammers, "I-i-i-i-i-it's ok-k-k-k-kay, sir…y-y-y-y-y-y-you c-c-c-c-can keep smoking if you l-l-like…" and he is released by Iain, who throws him back into his seat.

"I'm holding you to that, jerk." He calmly makes his way back to his seat, which is now occupied by Sue's book-bag and skateboard. Iain growls and grabs Sue by the collar and hurls him onto the seat across the aisle, along with his stuff.

The boy scrapes himself off the wall and rubs his sore head. "You sinister motherfucker!" he shouts as he sits down in his new spot, "Could you be a little gentler next time?!"

"Next time, I'll be throwing you out the damn window. You do NOT take my spot."

"Geez, you two are like an old married couple!"

Iain and Sue look up at the newest arrival on the bus: Cassie O'Peia, the resident know-it-all of the freshman class, as well as the treasurer for the student council. She is short in comparison to Sue and Iain, but she seems to be even taller because she carries an air of confidence about her at all times. Today, Cassie is wearing her favorite, canary-yellow sweatshirt, along with a jean skirt and a pair of black tights underneath. Her blindly white sneakers tap against the metal floor of the bus as she walks down the aisle until she comes to a stop between her two friends. The brown satchel that she is carrying weighs her down slightly, so she takes it off and tosses it at Iain. "What the hell?!" Iain shouts as it lands on his knees, "This thing weighs a ton!"

Cassie readjusts her glasses and says, "If you ever bothered to bring your books home, you'd be used to that weight by now."

"Learning is for the birds, Cassie!" Sue leans back in his chair and begins examining his broken skateboard. "I mean, I are already intelligent enough!"

"Of course, Sue, of course…"

"Well, aren't we clever today? Are you gonna sit down or what?"

"Thanks, Iain, but I'm standing up today."

"Why's that?"

"Because sitting next to you would make her want to kill herself!"

"That's not the reason, Sue. I just feel like standing up for today, that's all."

The rest of the trip to school goes like this, the banter flying between the kids bothering the other riders on the bus, though none of them have the courage to go back and tell them to shut up. The mere presence of Iain McDonald is enough to keep them planted in their seats. Occasionally, other students would come on board the bus, but they would avoid the three in the back of the bus, for fear of being broken in half by either Sue or Iain. They had all learned their lesson about insulting Sue Bindy after the boy thoroughly trashed a senior from their school, who had pretended to hit on Sue, and proposition him for sex. Word on the street was that he would finally be on crutches in a week or two.

Finally, at 7:38, the bus stops in front of Central City High and opens its doors for the departing students, with Sue and Iain threatening the driver and Cassie apologizing for their rudeness. "You know," she says as she reprimands the boys, "nothing good is gonna come from all your bullying, Iain."

Iain merely tosses away his cigarette and proceeds to light another one. "Hey, he doesn't want me to smoke, and you two both know what I get like if I can't smoke; it would have been a bloodbath in there."

"The guy makes a good case, Cass." Sue runs ahead of his friends as they reach the front doors of their school, his skateboard crammed into his backpack. Hopefully, he'll be able to fix it in Woodshop 101…

"Whatever, Sue. Hey, you guys heard that we're getting some new students today?"

"New students?"

Cass nods her head. "Yeah, they're, like, transfer students from another state."

"New students, huh? I doubt we're gonna see 'em much."

"Actually, Iain, one of them has already been put in the student council as a class representative!"

"Already?" Iain lets out a slow, sarcastic whistle. "Well, I'll be! These guys must be wonder-kids to do that!"

"Knock it off." Cassie hits him in the ribs with her elbow, but he avoids the blow at the last second. "You'll be nice to these kids, right?"

Iain puts his gloves away. "I won't kick their asses, if that's what you're implying."

"THAT'S your idea of being nice?"

"How long have you known me, woman?"

Sue sighs and says, "Ten years, give or take. And I've hated every moment."

"The feeling's mutual."

Cass smacks both of them on the head and shouts, "Move it, or you guys are gonna be late for home room!" The three friends run through the doors of Central City High School, now eagerly awaiting the arrival of the new students.

***

"All I'm saying is that they better have some good ramen here!"

"Shut up, Naruto! Lady Hokage even told us that the only ramen here was instant ramen!"

A pale, dark-haired boy groans as he attempts to block out the arguing between his teammates, though it is futile. "Will the two of you shut up?" he barks as he pulls out a book and begins to read.

"Hey!" The blonde boy sitting behind him shouts, "You can't tell me what to do anymore, Sasuke! I'm just as tall as you, and I'm taller than Sakura too!"

"Like hell you're taller than me!" A milky-white hand smacks the blonde boy in the face, and the owner leaves an imprint of her hand on the side of his face. "And don't get cocky over something like height! I'm still better at you in raw strength!"

A meek, violet-haired girl gets out of her seat to help the blonde boy, who is in quite a bit of pain now. "N-N-Naruto!" she says, barely above a whisper, "Are you okay?"

"Hmm? Ah, Hinata, it's you!"

"Huh?"

"I just couldn't recognize you without your white eyes! The contacts look great though!"

She blushes. "Th-th-th-thank you, N-N-N-N-N-Naruto…"

An older lady with short, brown hair is driving the bus full of twelve rambunctious teenagers grows frustrated with their incessant chatter and foolish actions. Finally, she can take it no longer, so she turns around and screams, "If you all don't shut up now, I'm going to crash this bus into the next building I see!" This was enough to at least get everyone back to their seats, except for one blonde boy, who is fishing around in his orange sweatshirt.

"Naruto," the pink-haired girl in front of him asks quietly, "What are you doing?"

"Shhhh! I'm gonna go stick this 'Kick me' sign to Shizune; that'll teach her for yelling at me!"

"She yelled because you deserve it, moron…"

"Shut up, Sasuke!"

Before Naruto can even get off the floor, a needle goes flying through the piece of paper he has pulled from his coat, and it goes flying into the floor mere inches from Naruto's crotch.

"I said sit down, Naruto," Shizune says as she turns around. "Don't make me have to knock you out again!"

He sighs, "Yes ma'am," and sits sullenly next to Hinata, who looks back down at her hands for the rest of the trip.

"Che, can you believe this trip, Shino?" asks a boy in a large sweatshirt to a boy who sits in solitude at the end of the bus. "A free trip to another part of the world, with plenty of food and shelter! How'd we luck out on this?!"

"We were selected because we apparently blend into the culture well."

A boy with a gelled-up ponytail groans to himself. "Why do I get the feeling that this is gonna be a really troublesome mission?"

"'Cause everyone and their mother is coming?"

"I suppose you're right, Chouji…"

After a few more minutes of chatter, Shizune pulls the bus into a gas station and stops the bus. "Okay, break time! Now, before you guys go anywhere, I'd like you to go over your new identities for the trip." Her request was met with much groaning. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Let's just do it one more time before we reach the destination. Naruto, let's start with you."

"Gotcha! Okay, my name's…"

***

"…Nate Ulrich! Nice to meetcha!"

Sue looks over the new kid that has introduced himself to the class. This kid says that he is fourteen, going on fifteen in October, and that he enjoys playing soccer and swimming. He is fairly tall, maybe taller than Sue is, and he has tan skin, yellow hair, and three marks on each cheek that resemble whiskers. What Sue notices first about the boy is his hooded, zip-up sweatshirt: it is very…orange. Sure, there are two black spots on the shoulders and the sides, but it is predominantly orange. Underneath the hoodie is a black t-shirt with an orange swirl design on the front, and he wears black jeans and black sneakers, but Sue's eyes are fixated on the orange.

"Who in their right mind would wear such a god-awful jacket?" he asks in his mind. "He's smiling a lot…maybe he's retarded. At least the other one is cute."

The other student, Hannah Holder, is a diminutive girl who stands at least a head or two shorter than Nate, and has black hair, though in the light from the window, it appears violet in hue. Her hair falls to her shoulders, and seems to frame her face, which is pale and soft. She has pale, green eyes that remind Sue of the grass that grows around the picnic areas at the YMCA. Hannah is wearing a beige sweatshirt that covers her arms and torso completely, a pair of navy-colored pants that run to her mid-shin and white running shoes.

"I'm, uh, I'm Hannah Holder. U-um, my birthday is December…27th, and I'll b-be 15 years old."

"Tell us what you do as a hobby, Hannah," the teacher, Mr. Finn, says as he sits on his desk.

"O-oh…well, I guess…I like to cook, and, uh, swim, I suppose…"

From his seat, Sue can be seen shaking his head. "All right, she's cute as hell, but MAN, she can't communicate at all!"

Mr. Finn claps his hands and the students follow suit. "Thank you, Nate and Hannah." The crazy-haired professor smiles as he gestures out to the five rows of desks. "Now, let's see if we can't find you some seats…ah! Hannah, you'll sit next to Daphne over there," he points over to a girl who shares a similar hairstyle to Hannah, "And as for you, Nate…"

"Please don't let him sit next to me!" Sue begs in his head. "For the love of God, Buddha, and the Jewish God, don't let that vomit inducing freak next to me!"

"There's an empty seat next to Mr. Bindy; why don't you sit there?"

Sue cries in his head, "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" but he still puts on a fake smile. Nate walks over to the desk and puts his book-bag down on the ground next to the desk. He plops down in the seat and smiles at Sue, making the hat-wearing boy want to projectile vomit all over the classroom.

"'Sup, man? I'm Nate!" he exclaims as he reaches a hand out to shake.

"Yeah, I heard you," Sue replies as he shakes the other boy's hand. "I heard you when you told the rest of the class."

"Heh, yeah, sorry, I kind of state the obvious some times." Nate rubs his neck and smiles apologetically. "Force of habit."

Sue nods and actually smiles a little for real. "Wow," he thinks to himself, "this guy might not be so bad after all."

"So, what's your name?"

"Me? It's…uh, it's Sue."

"Sue?"

"Yeah. So go ahead, make fun of it. I know it's just waiting to get out."

"Heh, sorry, I'm not about to make fun of someone because of their name."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. See, I'm more," he began to chuckle, "into mocking physical appearances."

Sue couldn't believe this kid that was sitting next to him. This kid seemed a lot like him in a few ways. Maybe this year wasn't going to drive him insane after all…and then he notices that Nate is texting someone over his cellphone, which was also orange.

"Who ya texting, man?" he whispers to Nate.

"Friend of mine who's going to this school." Sue looked over at the screen, curious to find out who it was, and saw that he was texting Hannah. The message read, "Man, its prtty cool here, rite? Hows ur target?"

"Target?" Sue looked away from the cellphone and began to scribble in his notebook, as though he was taking notes in class. "What could he mean by 'target'? Does he mean Daphne?" He took a look over at the girl who was sitting next to Hannah.

Daphne Millbrook was just your average high school, more or less: she had short, blonde hair that was cut in a boy style; she wore a red jacket, a brown t-shirt, and red track pants, along with red track shoes; she ran on the school track team. There was nothing particularly different about her, save for the fact that she had eyes of different colors. One was blue, and the other was green; other than that, she was just your average freshman, with nothing exactly unique about her.

"Are they gonna do something to her? Are they gonna do something to ME?! What if the other transfer students are here for other targets?!? Maybe we're all the targets of an alien invasion!!!" All these thoughts ran through Sue's head as he furiously scribbled in his notebook. He was so caught up in his conspiracy theories that he did not notice when Nate tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, dude, you got--"

"LEAVE MY BRAIN ALONE!"

Sue attracts the attention of the entire class with his outcry, and he now stands on top of his chair, pointing an accusing finger at Nate, who has toppled out of his chair at the outcry. Everyone is staring at the two, save for Daphne and Hannah, who have rushed out of their seats.

"Sue!" Daphne shouts, a frustrated look on her face, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"He's gonna kill me, Daphne!" Sue points at Hannah. "And she's gonna kill you! All the transfer students are going to kill the students here!"

The blonde girl sighs and smacks her forehead with her hand. "Dear God, you've finally lost it."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?!"

"You've always been paranoid about the most ridiculous stuff, and you make mountains out of molehills! Now you're trying to tell me that the transfer students are going to kill us?! If anything, YOU'RE more likely to snap then they are!"

Sue, with time, arrives at the conclusion that he's just being crazy again, so he steps down from his chair and makes his way to the door. "You don't need to tell me, Mr. Finn! I'm heading to Belk's office right now!" The boy storms out the door and slams it hard, making a loud clap.

Daphne and Hannah walk over to Nate. "Need a hand?" Daphne asks as she puts her hand out.

"You're not gonna flip out, are you?" Nate took the hand offered to him. "Last time I did that, this guy went insane."

"Don't worry about Sue, Nate; he's always been like that. Wonder what was getting into him this time though…"

"A-a-a-are you okay, Nate?" Hannah asks as she puts a hand on his arm.

"I'm fine, thanks, Hannah." Nate then turns to Mr. Finn and asks, "Hey Frizz, I'm using the bathroom, okay?"

"It's FINN, and you can't go jus--" It's too late, for Nate has already gone out the door.

***

Sue sauntered down the hallway without any intention of visiting Mr. Belk, the Dean of Students. "Like hell I'm visiting that Nazi," he grumbles as he makes a beeline for the vending machines in the cafeteria. "Maybe I'm just being crazy about this whole thing. It could have been a game, for all I know! That settles it!" He grabs a drink from the machine and pops it open. "I've gotta apologize to the new kid and get him to explain the message in the process!"

While he drinks his soda, Sue is unaware of a figure that is approaching behind him, a large, gleaming knife held in its hand…