She silently closed the door behind her, sneaking up behind the stitched up doctor as silently as she could, a grin creeping up on her face.

"Marie," he stated, not turning around. She sighed. Couldn't he have at least pretended to be surprised, for her sake?

"Hey," she replied as he swiveled around in his chair to face her. He wordlessly patted his lap, and she happily climbed into it, latching her arms around his neck.

The door suddenly flew open, causing Marie to jump and fall backwards in surprise. Stein swirled around in his chair.

"Yo, Steinburger!" Black Star yelled, waving his hand. "Have you seen Soul and Maka 'round here?"

Stein shook his head no, and the blue-haired assassin ran off, leaving the two staring at the door.

Marie blinked.

"Stein?"

"Yes?"

"…Did he just call you Steinburger…?"

"Yes."

"…Why?"

The doctor shrugged and turned towards her. "Where were we, again?"

She stood up and brushed herself off, then climbed back into his lap.

"Here, I think," she answered, pecking him swiftly on the cheek.

He stared at her. "You missed."

"Alright, let me try again," she said, leaning in… only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. She scrambled to get under the desk as Stein called out, "Come in."

Tsubaki tentatively stepped into the classroom, a polite smile on her face.

"Excuse me, Professor Stein, but have you seen Maka or Soul at all today?"

"No, I haven't. Black Star was in just a minute ago, to ask the same thing. Why are you looking for them?" he asked, cranking the bolt in his head a bit.

Tsubaki sighed, casting a glance to the floor. "Shinigami-sama sent for them, but no one has been able to find them. I was hoping maybe they'd be in here. If you'll excuse me," she said, and then turned to leave.

The door clicked close and Marie peeked out from under the desk.

"You can come out now," Stein told her.

She huffed and climbed back into his lap. "I love kids, but they can be bothersome sometimes…" she stated, then continued where they left off.

Half an hour later…

Both teachers had been effectively stripped down to just their underwear, their breath coming in sharp gasps and hands roaming, when they heard an unfamiliar third gasp. Both heads snapped up to be met by the sight of Death the Kid staring at them, his face snow white.

The awkward silence that followed seemed endless until he suddenly yelled, "Excuse me!" and quickly exited the room.

For the second time that day, they were left staring at the closed door.

"Well, that was a bit awkward," Stein stated before pulling her face to his.

The door opened- again- and Patty ran in laughing, not even giving the two a chance to break their kiss.

"Soul and Maka eloped!" she giggled, before running out again.

Marie's face drained of all color before she screamed, "WHAT?" and gathered up her clothes, hastily changing back into them.

"Marie, just let them do as they please, it's their choice," Stein advised her.

"No, I have to report this to Shinigami-sama!" she exclaimed, running her fingers through her hair once and then striding towards the door.

He stood up. "Marie, wait—," the door slammed, cutting off his sentence. He sunk back into his chair, sighing.

He grabbed his grade book and jotted down a note next to the names Soul Eater Evans and Maka Albarn – "Remember to give Fs on grade reports for disorderly conduct." No one interrupted his makeout sessions and got away with it.

The next day…

"Maka, Soul!" Black Star called to his friends, who were just entering class. "Congratulations on getting hitched!"

Both turned tomato red and asked what in the hell he was talking about.

Black Star blinked. "So you guys didn't actually run off to Vegas to get married?"

Maka whipped a book out from her backpack and drove it down on his head, effectively creating a clean slice down the middle.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. We're out sick with the flu and you assume we got married?"

Tsubaki intervened. "You might want to explain that to Marie-sensei… she's under the impression you two ran off and got married, as is the whole school."

"Oh, no," Maka slapped her forehead. "How mad is she?"

Her question was answered when Marie herself entered the room, exclaiming, "Soul Eater Evans and Maka Albarn, you are SUSPENDED!"

She sighed. This would be one hell of a day.

-x-x-x-

A/N: To tell the truth, I only wrote this fic so I could have Black Star call Stein 'Steinburger'...