Title: Things I Learnt from Harry Potter

Author: dracowitch

Rating: K

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything to do with it – except copies of the books of course.

Please Note: The original creator of this idea is FantasticallySnarkastic – this is simply my take on it.

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Things I Learnt from the Philosophers' Stone:

1. Cats sitting on garden walls are really Professors at Hogwarts.

2. Hundreds of letters are good for only one thing: paper cuts.

3. If you know that the core in your wand matches that of a murderer who tried to kill you, just put the wand back, okay?

4. Attempting to turn a rat yellow, will only prove that you are as stupid as the inclination to do such a thing suggests you are.

5. You should not try to fight a troll if you do not have a wand to stick up its' nose.

6. You should always ask someone if they have Lord Voldemort sticking out the back of their head, BEFORE you get drunk and swap life stories.

7. 'Wingardium Leviosa' will not solve every problem you come across, unless you only ever fight trolls.

8. It's Snape's fault. Period.

9. If you are the hero of the story, you will never get into trouble, unless the punishment will conveniently help you in your quest to defeat Lord Voldemort.

10. Headmasters are allowed to eat your sweets without asking when they visit you in hospital.