AU: Bella is the vamp, Edward is the human. The other Cullens are vamps too; however, Bella doesn't know about them, or their lifestyle. It will be E/B eventually!!! Be patient, and endure some of the dark themes/forbidden relationships!

The Other Way Around

Ch.1

There was a time, centuries ago, when I knew what it was like to be in love. I can no longer taste the feeling; long ago I was lost to society and they faded all around me. I used to have a sister. I used to have a brother. I cannot describe, in words, my feelings for Zack. He was my brother. I knew that it was dark. I knew that it was wrong. But he claimed to love me so, and how could I object to the sweet innocence singing in his eyes? I remember warning him it wouldn't end well. Our parents would find out, or our sister, but the connection (or whatever it was) was too strong.

I try to tell myself that it wasn't my fault that he seduced me. That it wasn't my fault we spent hours in the forest, kissing with a passion none of you would even be able to comprehend. It felt so real, and it felt so beautiful. For the first time in my life, I was alive, and truly alive. We used protection, of course. I didn't get pregnant; I wasn't that stupid. We were careful. We had always had such a strong connection, that no one would ever think twice of us spending all of our time together.

I might have fallen in love with him; I might not have. It may have been just lust. No. Even now, I cannot delude myself into believing that. Did I tell you that we were twins? Zack was my second half. Maybe we misinterpreted our destiny, but then again, destiny…or fate…sure does have a way of deceiving its victims. I wasn't any different; after all, I was just human. At the time, I thought that was all there was. Human. I was wrong, so wrong.

I try to tell myself that it wasn't my fault that Daddy dearest caught us, and tried to murder me. Well, he tried to murder Zack, but silly me – I couldn't live without him – I stepped in front of Zack, protecting him with my life. I don't think "daddy" wanted to hurt me, but, nonetheless, I was, probably, fatally wounded. Probably ashamed, he left me lying there in the forest, forgetting all about the rage that drove him to slaughter his own children – his rebellious children, yes, but his own children nonetheless.

I didn't see what was coming next. There was so much blood, that's all I know. I must have been dreaming, because I saw this pale beautiful god walk towards me, bend down, and bite me. But the pain told me I wasn't dreaming. It burned. I was on fire; it felt exactly like the passion that existed between Zack and I when we were breaking God's laws. I thought that God was punishing me. That my father had killed me, and this was hell. I saw the pale figure run away.

The burning lasted forever, but when I awoke my senses were so much clearer. The leaves on the trees had never looked so beautiful. I looked at my hands. They were paper white. I took in my surroundings. I tried to remember what had happened. Jumping in front of a monster that tried to kill the love of my life. Images of the past: my parents fighting; brown cardboard boxes piled in a new garage; a backyard so tiny , a house picked out by my father for our family against my mother's will; a hotel; the multiple times my mother threatened to kill herself – and me, despite of it all, or, rather, in the middle of it all, immersed in my own dirty little clandestine relationship. Twincest, Zack and I had called it. And then, the past was shady. I could see it, but there was a slimy filter over it, blocking my senses from fully comprehending everything. And then, a scent that was so overpowering…so strong, so potent, and I knew, right then and there , that I had to have it. I didn't know what I was yet; I was a slave to my instincts. I found myself pouncing on something, something that felt weak in my strong arms, that was lying on the ground, unconscious. I found myself sinking my teeth into someone's flesh, draining him dry.

Had I just drank blood? What the hell happened to me? Trembling, I sank to the ground and stared at the person I had killed, and I saw the love of my life, Zack, dead. He would never wake up. I had killed him. I had finished daddy dearest's job; I had murdered my very own brother. All of my thoughts of our relationship faded, and I remembered in panic who Zack was to me before we started having sex; before we started wandering the forest together singing our painfully beautiful forbidden song. Images of Zack and I as toddlers, sitting at the off-white table coloring; images of Zack and I at the literary convention, discussing the stories we had written with peers that we would never really get to know. Images of Zack and I jogging together; images of Zack and I training together at the karate dojo. Images. So many images. For so many years, they haunted me. I am responsible for Zack's death. My own death, too, because, technically, I am dead.

I never found out what happened to my father; if he was ever caught for trying to kill me. Maybe they – my parents, my friends, the world, whoever - thought that Zack and I ran away together. If only fate could be so kind. But no, fate was cruel, and I was cruel to. I figured out what I was, and I tried to abstain from blood, believe me, I did. I went for months, starving and weak. Eventually I had to give in. I'm weak, I know that, and I'm sorry. I didn't have the will power to destroy myself. I thought I couldn't live without Zack, that he was my other half – my life force, but somehow, I went on. Somehow, I survived. I don't know how, but I got over Zack. Maybe it was because he was dead, and nobody else could have him. Or maybe it was just because I had to. Eternity, whether I wanted it or not, was mine.

I still needed blood, though. I was a horrible monster. My senses were my cage, most of the time. I wasn't wild, though. I didn't deserve that. I always went long periods where I starved myself, denying my own nature. After my starvation, I was so weak, and I needed blood. I couldn't help it; I became a monster.

My name is Bella, by the way. Nobody calls me that, though, because nobody is close enough to me. I am a loner, a nomad. I live off the blood of serial killers and mass-rapists. But it would be deluding myself to think I was doing the world a favor. Saving innocent girls, playing the hero. I was no hero. Sure, I stopped murderers, but then again, I murdered too, so what was the point? Sometimes, the blood was too much, and I ended up draining their prey, too. It didn't happen all of the times, but it happened enough times to haunt me.

My rage was a pretty good mask. I hid from my darkest, most sinister thoughts. I hid from my solitude and my desperation. I hid from my flaws. I hid from myself, and, slowly, I lost myself. There were times I forgot my name, but it always came back to me. Bella. Bella. Bella. I tasted the sound of the person I used to be on my tongue. It was bittersweet, like I almost wanted to take her back – remember her dreams, her aspirations, her family. As if I could.

Centuries flew by me. I felt the need for civilization. I needed to work, and I needed to write. I remember that when I was human I had loved to write, and now my senses were so much stronger. So I wrote. Slowly, I tamed myself. I still lived off humans; at the time, I didn't know there was any other way. But I learned to control myself, and to feed only when necessary, and far away from home. Yes, I made a home for myself. I had to, or else I would lose the sanity I already lost. If that even makes any sense, but it was the only thing I could hold onto: that I had already lost my sanity, so I couldn't lose it again. I got a job at a local newspaper (wearing brown contact lenses, of course), and made money. Years later, I moved out of town, buying myself a small apartment in a small town in Washington.

Since I was forever eighteen, I registered for high school. I found myself to be a junior at Forks High school. If only I knew…If only I had known that fate had plans for me here, I never would have come. When I entered the door to that fated school building, my senses told me three things for certain: one, there were other vampires here – a lot of them; two, there was something different about them; and…as for the third thing, well, I found that one out later.

Should I leave? This was already their territory, I knew that. No, I had a right to be here. I walked into the front office and introduced myself to the office lady. "Hello, my name is Isabella Swan"

"Yes, yes, you must be the new student," she said. 'She looks just like the Cullens!' she thought. Oh, did I forget to tell you? Once I started associating with humans, I realized that I could read minds. I can also move objects with my mind. I'm a freak even when it comes to freaks – a telekinetic telepath. Big whoop; I for one, did not care. It just gave me another reason to hate myself.

So the Cullens are the other vampires, then? If I looked "just like them", then they must be. Sighing, I walked to my first class, English Literature. 'This should be easy,' I thought. 'Just hold your breath.'

"Hi, I'm Mike, you're the new girl, want me to show you around?" a silly human boy asked me in the hall on the way to my class.

"Shut up," I scowled, walking past him without even looking at him. He was nothing to me. Later that day, several other boys tried to talk sweet to them. I didn't listen; I didn't let my protective wall to crumble around me, because it wasn't there to protect me – it was there to protect them.

At lunch I met the Cullens. "I know what you are," I whispered. "Don't worry, though. I am too."

I figured, just be straight forward. Solve any problems before they arise. I didn't know that they were expecting me, though.

"Hi Bella, I'm Alice!" a hyper, dark haired pixie squealed. "I saw you coming! This is great! We so need to go shopping!!!"

"What?" Bella asked confused.

"She's psychic," the boy clinging to her, who I later found out was Jasper, explained. "She had a vision that you would come."

"Oh," Bella said. "Well, that explains why you guys expected me. But it doesn't explain why shopping, of all things, is the first thing she'd think of."

"Shopping is the only thing she thinks of," Emmet teased Alice, laughing.

Maybe, just maybe, I thought, I could get along with this…coven...no, coven wasn't the right word. The Cullens were a family, I could already tell. Three hundred years was a long enough time to mourn for your own family, I reasoned with myself. It was time to let bygones be bygones. I smiled.

"So, do you have a coven?" Alice asked.

"No, I'm a nomad,"I said.

"Stay with us then! Stay with us!" Alice said, excited.

"Um, okay then," I said.

"Wait!" Rosalie said, at a decibel level that only vampires could hear. "What's your diet?"

Again, at a decibel level that only vampires could here, I said, "Um…blood?" I wondered why they had asked such a silly question.

"No, I mean, what kind? Do you drink from animals?" Rosalie asked.

"Animals?" I asked, a little bit shocked. "That's even possible?"

To Be Continued…a