So I have rewritten and reposted Deidara's Mission Akatsuki Hometime as simply Akatsuki Hometime. It needed to be brought into a more mature setting with more mature writing (at least I like to think so) – as I first wrote this when I was fourteen. I still hope you come to enjoy it – and let me know what you think!

~chika~chika~chika~

The shrill voice of one particular Akatsuki member resonated throughout the base as the Leader toothily smiled down at the voices owner. A fuming Deidara stood before Nagato's desk having first laughed at the prospect of such humility being forced on him – but as it sunk in that Leader-sama wasn't joking around, his anger grew.

"That's your solo mission, don't question me." The artist stomped his foot and curled his hands into fists. He stared back at Nagato, wishing he could punch those gleaming teeth out of his freaky pierced face. Deidara quickly lost his imposing stare when Zetsu rounded the corner into the office, stopping next to the Leader. Sucking air through his teeth, the bomber quietly spoke through harshly clenched teeth.

"You really want me to do everyone un?"

"I've already given you the details on this mission. You must meet all of my requirements, or you become plant food." Deidara shivered; the fear of being eaten competed easily with the fear of being turned into a wooden puppet by Sasori. Striking a slightly menacing glance at Zetsu, the blonde spun on one foot and sulked to the doorway.

"This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with the dango would it un?" His hand on the wall as he turned to glare once more at the Leader

"How absurd – it has nothing to do with delicious pastries, or the fact that you ate ALL OF THEM even though they were specifically labelled as mine. This has more to do with your lack of active cooperation with Sasori on recent missions. Not to mention you have… specific qualifications for this task."

"So it's mostly about the dango un." Nagato's hand twitched violently as he thought about throwing the chair at Deidara to get him out of his office. Konan watched her lover from the other room with a delicate hand resting on the stone wall. She would intervene if he reacted rashly.

Deidara allowed himself a small smile when he saw the Leader's displeasure. Leaving the office he ran his nails down the porous rockwork – thinking of ways he could bribe Zetsu not to kill him. There was no way in hell he was degrading himself to sleeping with the entire Akatsuki because 'Leader said so'.

~chika~chika~chika~

"Did you really have to choose this way to get your revenge?" Nagato all but threw himself into his chair, attempting to soften his look as Konan stepped out of the darkness; Zetsu faced Leader silently and said nothing.

"Not only has he disrespected me, there's no punishment I've been able to hand out that he hasn't fucked up. When he's not performing properly, confining him to the base doesn't work – he just blows shit up. Setting him up with other partners hasn't worked – no one can stand his attitude. This is the last straw." Paper light footsteps made their way over to the now occupied leather chair. An ivory hand waved and suggested Zetsu's leave could be taken. As the giant plant man lumbered out of the doorway, Konan slid her arms around Nagato's broad shoulders and kissed his cheek lovingly.

"You don't even know if every other man in this place will accept this Nagato, I doubt you would sleep with him."

"My china doll have you met our other members? When Kisame's drunk he'll fuck absolutely anything, including the couch. I'd bet every ounce of life in my body that Hidan and Kakuzu are fucking. Just mentioning those three, Deidara won't have the energy to be mouthy or probably to continue his mission after them." Konan blew soft strands of hair out of her eyes and released him, knowing she wouldn't be able to repeal Deidara's punishment. The kid was strong, he'd figure out a way to get through this. She turned from the doorway to their bedroom and beckoned him with one painted finger, returning a grin to Nagato's face as he rose and followed her.

~chika~chika~chika~

As the door clicked back into place and Deidara realized Hiruko wasn't in its usual spot - he immediately tore off his cloak and half-heartedly threw it in the middle of the floor, uncaring of the fight it would likely cause with Sasori later. Shirtless and angered by the so called 'mission' Leader has entrusted him with, Deidara frantically tried to figure a way out of it. He didn't honestly believe that Zetsu would take the time out of his day to eat him, not when the plant man knew he was just as likely to eat pounds of explosive clay in the process.

'What kind of sick person do you need to be to make someone do this un…' The bomber thought as he sat down at the small desk to begin looking at his new designs for stealth bombs. Spiders were becoming boring – he needed something new. 'I wouldn't even know where to begin with this mission' Deidara opened and closed his hands, trying to manage two thought processes at the same time. 'Who thinks up those kinds of ideas un…' The blonde leaned back and stared at the bleak gray ceiling, pondering his very limited options.

"Could be fun… but could be dangerous un."

~chika~chika~chika~

Itachi glanced carefully around every corner with his Sharingan activated. Upon entering the base, he had been warned by a very angry looking puppet master that Tobi, of all people, had been especially irritating today, something to avoid at almost any cost. Sometimes the great Uchiha Itachi would rather give up his sight than be in the presence of Madara, or his other personality Tobi. It was far too completely ridiculous.

"ITAACHI-SAAAAN!" The Uchiha tensed and continued facing away from his uncle otherwise known as the masked idiot.

"Ohayo gozai masu, Tobi-kun." All hope of retreat was gone, Itachi drowned in his fate.

"Ne, Itaaaachiiii, can Tobi ask a question?" Crimson eyes whirled as Itachi fought to keep from incinerating the oversized kid, something that would likely irritate the other side of him.

"Tch."

"Okaaaaai. Why do you have a pretty picture of Deidara-sempai in your room?" Itachi turned slowly with a clenched jaw and wide red eyes.

"Seventy two hours of torture Madara, or you give back the picture and forget you ever saw it." The orange mask tilted to the left and released an odd giggle.

"What`s wrong Itachi? Worried that Deidara-senpai will find out how badly you waaaaant him?" The shrill voice deepened as he spoke. 'Tobi' reached for his mask, and with his anger still burning, Itachi watched with disinterest as he looked at the mature face that so easily mirrored his own.

"I won`t tell blondie if you do one thing for me." Madaara stared intently at the younger Uchiha, who slowly released the Sharingan – letting the red bleed from his dark hazel eyes.

"I would talk to Leader before you try anything with the blonde; something tells me you could have anything you want from him, even if he doesn't." Madaara replaced the mask over his face.

"Just give me the picture back, I don't know or care about what you're playing at." Madara held up the picture of Deidara, it was the only one Itachi had been able to get without the bomber knowing. Itachi took the picture carefully and sneered at his uncle before carrying on to his own room.

~chika~chika~chika~