Summary: Post RENT. Collins is still broken up after Angel's death and wants to preserve their time together as much as possible, so he decides to go with the only idea that ever stuck with him, going to Santa Fe.

Disclaimer: All hail the late Jonathan Larson, he owns it all.

Santa Fe Dreams

Chapter one

I'm leaving

"What?!"

"I told you I'm leaving; I'm going to start my restaurant," Collins repeated

"But I already told you that it's boring in Santa Fe," Roger debated

"No, you were bored because you had writer's block and couldn't see inspiration 'till it bit you in the ass."

"Do you want this group to fall apart again?" Roger asked

"Who says we're going to fall apart? Everything seems together to me-- you've still got Mimi; Maureen and Joanne haven't had a fight since before Christmas; Mark's still single, but successfully sold his movie to three TV stations, none of them Buzzline; and what have I got? A stolen leather coat bought for fifteen dollars from a homeless woman and a set of drum sticks, that's what I've got."

"So you're going to Santa Fe because you think you'll find Angel reincarnated?" asked Roger

"I'm going because I want to, and it's the only idea that's stuck with me through this whole fucking thing!" Collins snapped. "Look man, I don't want to leave on bad terms, but I am going. Nothing's going to change that." Collins said,his voice a little bit calmer.

"Do whatever you want. But good terms I can't promise."

Collins sighed. This was not how he wanted to leave, but he wasn't going to back down either so he just nodded, picked up his bag, and walked out the door. It was time for the harder goodbye.

Awkward silences were never fun and they always last longer than they should, but the longest on in history was the one following Collins' knock on Mimi's door. When the silence was broken by the loud squeak of the door opening Collins almost turned tail and ran. "What is it?" Mimi asked

"Um, I have to say something, and you won't like it."

"What?" Mimi asked suspiciously.

"I'm leaving."

"That's great!" She exclaimed

"What?"

"It'll be good for you to get out the loft."

"Mimi, you don't get it. I'm leaving, as in I'm going to Santa Fe," Collins said

"What? You're not serious."

"Yes I am."

"How could you do this to me?" Mimi asked, hurt.

"To you?"

"Yes to me. You are only connection to Angel I have left."

"So if I leave then what?"

"Then Angel's really dead."

"I know, and that's why I stayed for as long as I did, I was afraid that if I left New York I would be leaving Angel. But I stuck with this idea of go to Santa Fe through all of this. I figure that if I go to Santa Fe it will be like bringing her back, at least a little bit. Did that make any sense?" Collins asked

"It did. It doesn't change anything though. If you go she might be more alive to you, but since I didn't share this Santa Fe idea with the two of you, then I will still lose the only connection I have left to my best friend." Mimi said sadly.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, and I think I'll be OK."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I won't be happy, but I'll be OK."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, and good luck, you're gonna need it."