A Freaking Mess

-A self reflection by Kurosaki Ichigo, for Kuchiki Rukia, the bitchy midget.

-Kuchiki Rukia adds that Ichigo, the strawberry, should go to hell and that the carrot head does not own her.

I'd always thought that if I'd ever fall in love, it would be with someone like my mother. Masaki Kurosaki. She was the most beautiful, kindest, and loving woman I have ever met before. My mother meant everything to me. Her voice was like velvet silk and she could always make me feel a wholesome happiness. My mother's hair was long, wavy, and gorgeously shiny. She was gentle, loving, caring, and selfless. Thus, when I was a lot more naïve, if the topic of love ever comes into the back of my head, the image would be that of my mother's.

Wrong. Totally, absurdly wrong. I fell for a woman who was 150 years old and six feet under.

Literally.

She doesn't even come up to my collarbone! She's not even human! And yet, I fell for her harder than any force of a punch Kenpachi could throw at me. I fell for her deeper than the deepest hole that Urahara can find.

Rukia Kuchiki was the most arrogant female I have ever met. She was the ice princess of soul society. Her brother could kill with a glare. The first time she met me, she bounded me with a freaky spell. The first time she met me; a monster came and attacked my family. She was my gateway to death.

Rukia Kuchiki was not gentle. She was not ladylike. She could punch me and kick me and scratch me like a pissed off cat. She did not say 'thank you' when I risked my life to save her. Caring? Che. If caring meant smacking me on the head with her glove to drag my soul out to do stuff I didn't even want to do, then yes, she is mightily caring.

Why the hell did I fall in love with her?

Falling in love with Rukia Kuchiki means that countless pink blades would be cutting my balls out before I can blink. Falling in love with Rukia Kuchiki means that I would die an early, uncomfortable death. It means that I would be looking at en eternity with Byakuya, getting kicked in the shins, and wanting to strangle myself.

She's not beautiful. Her hair is a messy tress when she wakes up. She's too short to be normal. She looks like a child. She's skinny like a stick. Her soul stealing eyes are fucking purple! Damn it!

I must be one hell of an unlucky guy and outta my mind.

When did I fall in love with the midget, anyways? Was it the time when she thrust that sword of hers into my gut? Was it during the time she stayed in my closet and I grew accustomed to her presence? Was it when she left, willing to give herself up just to let me live?

I gave it all up for her. My life. My soul. My whole being. I gave it up so I could go to society. I fought Byakuya so she could live.

The little ass midget didn't even come back with me after going through all that trouble of changing my life and finally stopping the rain that seemed to go on forever inside my soul.

Keh. I owe her nothing expect a string of profanities, maybe a glare or two for taking so long to come back and cheer me up again. And Rukia owes me a kiss. She promised so herself. 'Save the reunion for later'. Bitch. Telling to me to wait until I get haul my ass across the floor to her.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to figure this whole love shit thing out. But I do know that I want to punch a wall when she's not there. And I do understand that if she ever gets herself half killed again, I'll slam her on a wall and kiss the hell and the life out of her. And I do know that if anyone touches her except for me, they're dead before they can regret it. And if anyone looks at her the wrong way, I'll personally spoon their eyes out of their sockets and happily slaughter them.

This is the fact: She's mine. She's mine the day I laid eyes on her.

Rukia's mine.

AN:

Haha. It turns possessively murderous at the end. Wild turn, though. My first official fanfic in Bleach. Like it, love it, hate it? Let me know. It's not the longest or the most original, I bet, but I'm trying my best to portray Ichigo in his own point of view. It might suck, but bear with me and review, please?

-anaime7