Authors Note: My first Bleach fan fiction. Tell me how it goes. Leave a review and I might write more. If anyone guesses who "Door ear steamy" is, I'll write them a special story. Ha-ha.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters.

x.x.x

Everything that could have possibly gone wrong.

Didn't.

It was an ironically perfect first date.

It was disgustingly fairy-tale like; we held hands; the food was served on time; the meal was perfect; I paid like the perfect gentlemen would; I took him out for ice-cream; we talked about everything and nothing; we laughed, and we shared precious moments; and in the end of the night, we shared a painstakingly beautiful kiss.

And I hated every moment of it.

x.x.x

From the moment I laid eyes on him I knew we would eventually fall in love. How could I not fall in love with him?

As annoying and arrogant as he was, he had a certain captivating quality.

It wasn't some cheesy romantic bullshit either. Contrary to popular belief, we didn't fall in love the way people typically did. There was no exchanging of romantic words, I didn't buy him some cheesy red roses, and I especially didn't gaze longingly into his eyes.

I told him I wanted to fuck him.

x.x.x

His legs were spread like a common whore as I shoved my fingers deeper and deeper inside of him. Stretching him. Preparing him for my cock. His moans and grunts only acting as encouragement.

If you think about it, it really was his fault.

He shouldn't have accepted.

I didn't prepare him as long as I should have. So, when I drove myself deep inside of him I really wasn't surprised to hear the scream that emitted from his throat.

God what a scream.

I loved it.

I fucked him long and hard. I called him dirty names, and he screamed out mine.

Over and over again.

I spanked him while slamming into him.

I remember ever detail vividly.

I jack off to it sometimes.

x.x.x

Our first date followed.

Then our second date.

Third.

Fourth.

One year anniversary.

Two year.

All the while I had absolutely no idea why I was still with him. If I hated him as much as I had convinced myself that I had, why did I still put up with him? It wasn't as though I couldn't get anyone better. Psht.

Have you seen me?

Fucking Grimmjaw Jaggerjack.

All the while I had also convinced myself that I was in love with him.

I had always known I was a little fucked up, but this was ridiculous. I hated him. I loved him. I loved fucking him. I hated being with him. I hated fucking him. I loved being with him.

I don't really get it either.

x.x.x

We were sitting on my couch.

My arm rested around his shoulders, as we watched a movie. Some romantic bullshit. His orange-headed whore (sounds like 'door ear steamy') had brought it over as an anniversary gift (which I still don't understand. If we don't get each other anything, why did she need to get us things?).

He was really getting into it.

It was something about soul mates and how they found each other regardless of the odds. Fighting against fate. Brought together by destiny.

Some bullshit.

He cuddled closer, and I sighed.

"Do you believe in that stuff, Grimmjaw?"

He murmured, wrapping his arm around my waist. "What stuff? Like, soul mates?" I asked. He couldn't be serious, could he? "Well. Yeah. Soul mates. Do you believe in it?"

"No."

"Oh."

"You?"

"N-No."

"Fag."

"Fuck you."

I smirked.

I tied him up that night.

Fucked him harder than I ever did.

x.x.x

I wasn't really surprised when I had walked in on him and that red-head-tattoo-freak making out. They were both drunk out of their brains.

Their were empty beer cans all over the floor, and they fucking smelled like shit.

They weren't wearing any shirts, and they both had pitched tents in their pants.

Renji was on top (seems like Ichigo was destined to be the catcher). I watched, somewhat amused and somewhat something else. My heart was racing, and I made my way further into the room.

"Grimmjaw!" Ichigo slurred. "I missed you" he dragged out.

Three years.

Renji laughed, as he began kissing and sucking down my boyfriends' neck.

My legs moved themselves towards the bed. I pushed the larger one off.

"Don't fucking touch. You're only allowed to watch."

He growled at me.

I wanted to punch his face in.

If Ichigo hadn't been touching himself beneath me, and moaning my name out I would have.

x.x.x

Five years.

Still confused.

Last night he had told me he loved me.

Last night we had sex.

Just like every night or at least most nights.

There was something different about this time.

I didn't say it back.

x.x.x

I had met someone new at work.

He was gorgeous. Fucking sexy.

He had short black hair, and dead green eyes. He was quiet, but he acted superior to everyone else. When he spoke, oh God how he spoke. He was nothing like Ichigo.

He was nothing like Ichigo.

I kissed him.

I fucked him.

He didn't scream.

And I didn't hate him.

He was nothing like Ichigo

x.x.x

When Ichigo found out.

Well.

I don't know.

I had never seen him so angry before.

I had never seen him so livid before.

I hadn't seen him cry before.

I hated him for being so weak.

I hated myself for doing it to him.

x.x.x

He wouldn't touch me for weeks.

Months.

It was ten months before we kissed again.

It was ten months and eleven days before he let me hold him again.

It was eleven months before we fucked again.

It was a year before I went back to Ulquiorra.

x.x.x

I had taken him out on a date to his favourite restaurant.

We held hands, we had dinner, we kissed, and we laughed.

Everything was perfect.

I missed Ulquiorra.

x.x.x

"Grimmjaw?" He asked shyly. He hadn't really been himself lately.

"Yeah, what?"

He winced.

"Do you love me?"

He asked.

I didn't answer.

He got up and left to our room.

x.x.x

I remember the day I had asked him to move in with me.

We had just finished sharing an ice-cream, and we were headed off to my house. We were passing through a park. Right at the center, surrounded by giant trees, was a fountain.

A wishing fountain.

I stopped him while we were in front of it.

I remember his curious glance.

"What is it?" He asked.

"It's a wishing well, Ichi." I said with a smirk. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a penny.

Not just any penny.

A lucky penny.

"Make a wish" I said, the smirk never leaving my face.

He stared at me awkwardly before taking the penny, and throwing it in.

"Will you move in with me?"

I asked him.

He looked at me, and his eyes widened. His jaw fell.

"Sure"

He whispered in response.

It was an interesting moment (to say the least) to be thinking about, as I waited for Ulquiorra to finish from his shower so we could have sex.

x.x.x

Ichigo and I were walking to our favourite ice-cream store.

We were crossing the street.

I really didn't see the car speeding towards us.

Ichigo did.

Six years.

x.x.x

I was waiting in the hospital beside his bed.

Things weren't looking good.

Ichigo was going to die.

Because he saved my life.

x.x.x

His breathing was getting weaker.

The doctor said he only had a few days left.

His eyes were open.

The doctor said he was awake, but he couldn't fully understand what was going on around him.

The doctor said I should talk to him.

The doctor the doctor the doctor the doctor.

I fucking hate the doctor.

The doctor said Ichigo had a few days to live.

"I hate you, Ichigo."

x.x.x

"Ichigo. You can't hear me. You're practically dead. You've been practically dead for a week now. I hate you. Do you know that? I've been cheating on you too. With the same guy I was cheating on you with before. Ulquiorra. He's nothing like you. I think he's better. It's a good thing you're dying.

"I've always hated you. I hate everything about you. It's a good thing you're dying. Now I can be with Ulquiorra. I don't know why I wasted so much time with you."

The doctor said that those weren't tears. The nerves that forced him to blink just weren't working. His eyes were glued open, and the exposed air was causing the tears to form.

The doctor said he wasn't crying.

x.x.x

He lived for another two days before dying.

My Ichigo.

x.x.x

Ulquiorra and I went to the funeral together.

We had sex the same night.

x.x.x

When he left the next morning, it was the first time I had cried in six years.

x.x.x

Ulquiorra broke up with me the next day.

x.x.x

It was four months until I finally visited Ichigo's grave.

Four months until I finally told him I loved him.

x.x.x