Title: My Genie

Pairing: ZoLu

Rating: T+

Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Oooooooown!

Warnings: Implied sex, afterglow, profanities, shonen ai, yaoi, homosexual themes, slash, whatever you wanna call it…

Summary: AU Oneshot. "My wish is pretty simple. We're gonna stick together." ZoLu.

Word Count: 2'240 words

A/N: Gaaah, Siesta is suffering while I'm writing this, but I had to post this up because of the fact that I found this lodged in my Chemistry file after nearly burning my fingers off with hydrochloric acid (not the diluted kind, the hard core hurtful kind). It's AU, and I think this was inspired by a picture I found…I dunno, it reminds me of a picture I've seen.

Eh, whatever.

It's a product of complete and utter boredom when trapped in a room full of chemicals. So, yeah.

Anyway, I kinda like this universe, so you may see more drabbles focused around this AU every so often. Ideas are still welcomed!

Enjoy!

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"Oh, I love hugging! I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time!"

--- Drew Barrymore

(C'mon, doesn't this sound like something Luffy would say?)

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MY GENIE

Zoro had an eternal hatred of magic lamps.

Or, more specifically, magic lamps that held energetic genies who didn't understand the meaning of the word, 'Shut up'.

"-Or you could wish to be a pirate, like this one guy did aaaaaaaages ago! I liked it because I think pirates are cool though it was a shame what happened to his arm – and it totally wasn't my fault – but he gave me this hat after this last wish-" Here, the dark haired genie swept the battered straw hat from his head and dangled it before Zoro's nose. "Aaah…I miss him now…"

The swordsman released an annoyed growl at his drink, and the surrounding patrons at the dingy bar shot him suspicious looks, completely oblivious to the young genie draped across Zoro's shoulders, babbling excitedly into his ear.

"Mmmm, now that I think about it, Shanks was kinda mean to me sometimes. He called me Anchor, just because I can't swim! I'm a genie of course I can't swim! Aaa, just thinking about it makes me annoyed!" The genie pushed himself off the twitching swordsman's shoulders and bounded between two cloaked men, doing a strange dance of frustration with flailing limbs and angry huffs.

Zoro had to bite down on his tongue to stop any verbal commands towards the genie, knowing that he'd look like a lunatic if he started ranting at apparently thin air. "Luffy…" He growled under his breath, holding his drink to his lips. "Just calm down and shut the fuck up."

Luffy sighed and returned to his position draped over Zoro's shoulders, turning his head to whisper in his ear. "Have you decided on your wish yet?" His lithe fingers trailed down the swordsman's arm to play with the long desert cloak's sleeve, tracing the jagged black stripes on the white cloth.

"I don't want any." Zoro grumbled, too used to the genie's 'touchy-feelyness' to be uncomfortable at the close proximity. "I told you that a month ago and I still haven't gotten anything to wish about."

"What about being the greatest swordsman?" Luffy pointed out before cutting himself off with a laugh. "Ah, ah, ah, course not! Zoro wants to get it on his own, ne? Hmmmm…theeeeeen…" Zoro felt the genie grin against his cheek, the warm chapped lips of the apparition moving against the tanned skin. "How about I give you some directional skills? Zoro gets lost a lot."

Zoro's hand clenched around the drink. "I'm not lost."

"Ooooh…" Luffy said nothing more, remaining pressed intimately close to the swordsman and content with just staring at the other patrons in the bar. He had been trapped in his lamp for quite a few decades, and being alone for such a long time, well, it made Luffy want to stay close to anybody if possible. "Hmmm…those guys over there are giving you weird looks, Zoro."

Zoro subtly tensed, green eyes sliding to the side to glance at the genie's still grinning face. "Hm? Really? Where and how many?"

"…Three and just behind you…by the door." Luffy replied amiably before giving a low, pained whine. "Nnnn…can Zoro hurry up? I'm huuuungry…I want meeeeat!"

"Then magic up your damn meat, you annoying genie." Zoro snapped, turning his head away to casually glance over his shoulder. Sure enough, he spotted the three men by the door, and frowned briefly. He didn't recognise them, so they were either some guys hurting for a fight, or they were just fascinated with his hair.

The swordsman's face soured.

They better not be insulting it behind his back.

"I can't!" Luffy exclaimed. "Zoro said that he didn't want me doing magic in public!" The young genie sighed and leaned heavily against the taller man. "People would act weird if a piece of meat appeared out of nowhere and will probably try to take it away!"

"…Fine." Zoro mumbled, not really looking forward to hearing his spiritual companion whinge about meat for the rest of the night. He could probably get some more grog later when the genie's inhuman hunger was satiated. "Let's go."

X.x.X

Zoro cautiously placed a hand over the gaping wound torn across his torso, breathing in deeply as the scarlet warmth leaked between his fingers and dripped on the dusty floor of one of the city's alleyway. He had been careless, and arrogant, allowing himself to be boxed in by a few hopeful wannabe bounty hunters, and now he was paying it in blood.

"That looks painful." Luffy's voice murmured somewhere behind him, and he felt hot – hot like the scorching desert sands – calloused hands slide round his waist to trace the length of his wound. Five months and the apparition still followed him around loyally, though he didn't pester Zoro about wishing for some directional skills anymore.

"It's just a scratch." Zoro mumbled, staring down at the lithe hands stained red. "Nothing to worry about, Luffy."

"M'not worried." Luffy denied, pulling back to walk around the swordsman. "Zoro's too cool to be beaten by a couple of losers." The genie laughed pleasantly, dark eyes alight with good humour.

"Damn straight." Zoro snerked, straightening up and ignoring the twinge of pain it brought. "I just need to nap…" The green haired swordsman blinked when the alleyway swirled suddenly, and he braced himself on the wall, shaking his head against the sudden dizziness. "Aaah, damn blood…not enough…"

Those hot hands grasped his cheeks, and dark eyes filled his vision. "Mm? You look pale, Zoro. You okay?"

Zoro knew he mumbled an answer of some sort, but the twilight of the alleyway darkened and swirled until he tumbled into cold unconsciousness – though that was banished when he hit a wall of hot desert sand.

X.x.X

"Spice." Luffy laughed happily, dancing on the wooden planks of the dingy with jerky movements and wild flailing limbs. "It smells like the spice on Shanks's ship!"

Zoro couldn't smell the spice. All he could smell was the spray of sea salt and the freshness of the breeze. He had been wandering Arabaster's sands for so long that he had almost forgotten how it felt to be on the sea. But, the experience was made better, somehow, by Luffy's exuberant presence rocking the small dingy they had 'borrowed'. "What spice?"

"Good spice." Luffy grinned, pausing his insane dance to throw himself onto Zoro's lap, an arm resting on a broad shoulder and a lithe hand pressed against the still bandaged chest. The wound that the swordsman had received a week ago was still healing, already scarring the tanned skin. "Like…hmmm…cinnamon!"

"Hn." Zoro looked up at the clear azure sky, trailing the path of a seagull with his eyes until it flew out of sight. "What do I smell like?"

"Hah?"

Zoro's green eyes locked onto the genie's with an intense focus, his calloused hand gripping the back of the apparition's neck and drawing him close enough so that they could feel each other's breaths, and Zoro was once again reminded of how this young looking boy embodied the desert, hot scorching air blowing over his lips. "If Shanks smells like cinnamon…what do I smell like?"

"Aaah…" Luffy grinned, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. "Hmmm…the sands gotten into it…" The genie began. "But…I can smell grass and forest and clean air…cool…" Luffy laughed, a clear ringing noise that lapped pleasantly over the noise of gentle waves pushing their stolen dingy forwards. "Shishishi! Zoro is cool!"

"…" Zoro huffed. "You smell like the desert." He mumbled.

Luffy just smiled that carefree grin of his. "I do."

X.x.X

"Zoro, Zoro! Order more meat off him!"

Zoro growled under his breath, eyeing the blond cook flirting with some red headed girl with distaste. He had no idea why, but upon entering the restaurant/ship Barbarite, Zoro had hated the blond, swirly eyebrowed, smoking cook with a burning passion rivalling the desert sun. It was either the eyebrow or the woman flirting – whatever it was, Zoro did not feel like talking to the man again just to feed his gluttonous, invisible companion.

"Magic up your own damn meat." He snarled, taking a large swig of his drink.

"But, but his meat…" The genie moaned, staring at the blond with near hero worship as his mouth watered. "His meat is awesome! Zoro! Order some! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!?"

Zoro's hatred for the blond cook increased to impossible levels.

X.x.X

"How'd you get that scar, anyway?"

"Mmmph?" Luffy looked up from his plate of meat, cheeks bulging comically from the amount of food stuffed haphazardly in there. Swallowing the whole lot, an illogical happenstance that only a magical being like a genie could achieve without choking, the dark haired apparition tilted his head and raised slender fingers to the curving scar under his left eye. "This?"

"No," Zoro drawled sarcastically. "I meant your other one."

"…Huh?"

Seeing the genie's confused look, the swordsman shook his head. "Yeah. That one."

"Aaah…this one…" Luffy smiled and swiped up another piece of meat from the plate in his lap, looking out into the blue horizon of the calm sea. "Well…it was made by me as a promise." The genie stuffed the meat into his mouth. "Nyom!"

"…A promise." Zoro stared at the scar on his spiritual companion's cheek before shaking his head. "I thought genies didn't scar."

Luffy shrugged in response, too preoccupied with his precious plate of limitless meat. "Mmmph."

X.x.X

When looking back, Zoro would not be able to remember what events had transpired in which order to trigger this. He remembered that they had docked at some island, and after an hour or two wandering he had finally found a bar to lurk about in for a while. Luffy had been his usual self, whining about meat or bouncing around in excitement at the strange cultural things (the genie was fascinated with everything – apparently being trapped in a gold magical lamp for a few decades was utterly boring), pointing out a few things eagerly or asking questions.

And then…

Well, it would probably seem very strange if someone happened to walk down the hallway of the inn.

And when Luffy had moaned, in that husky voice right in his ear, Zoro decided that the hallway was too public and he paid for the damn room so he may as well use it.

X.x.X

"I'm hungry."

Zoro grumbled unintelligibly, kicking the tangled sheets from his ankles in a vain attempt to cool down. Luffy was like a living furnace, but he'll be damned before he'd tell the genie to move so he could cool down. He was used to the heat by now, and it was a nice feeling, that hot desert warmth curled against his side and hot desert breath puffing over the sweat slicked skin of his neck.

"You're always hungry." Zoro muttered after a pause, realising that the genie wanted an answer.

A lithe hand swatted his chest, and he felt Luffy's chapped lips tug into a pout against his neck. "Mean Zoro." Then the apparition slid his fingers along the length of the scar that carved unevenly down his chest. "…Do you think we'll leave marks like this on each other?"

The question confused Zoro a little, and the taller man turned his head to glance in confusion at the dishevelled mess of black hair using his shoulder as a pillow. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Aaah, nothing." Luffy sat up, stretching his arms high above him and releasing a loud, contented sigh. "Mmmm, time for meat!" He laughed, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, leaning down to snatch up the crumpled cloth of his denim shorts. Just because he was a genie didn't mean he had to dress like one!

Zoro frowned, raising a hand to rub his forehead with the heel of his palm. He wasn't good with this, and it was probably even more complicated with a genie who'd disappear once all three wishes were used up- mind you he hadn't even used one-

Zoro blinked.

Luffy hummed merrily as he pulled on his red vest, about to button it up when a calloused hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him back to lean against a firm chest. Confused, the genie tilted his head back to meet unreadable green eyes with a wide eyed stare. "Ah? Zoro?"

"I have a wish." Zoro murmured softly.

Luffy felt himself squirm, dark brown eyes locked in an intense staring match with the swordsman. "…wh-what is it?" He swallowed. Even though they weren't doing anything, the whole situation felt…felt just as intimate as the first time they fell into bed with each other.

"My wish is pretty simple." Zoro clenched his hand into a loose fist and gently ground his knuckles into the genie's scalp, causing the apparition to giggle and squirm at the sensation. "We're gonna stick together."

Luffy blinked. "That's it?"

Zoro scowled and grounded his knuckles in harder. "What do you mean, 'that's it'!?"

Luffy squealed and pushed the hand away, turning in the swordsman's grip to place his hands on broad shoulders and lean close. "You silly." He admonished. "I was going to stick by you anyway. Zoro's cool and fun and my best friend." His grin widened playfully. "My first mate!"

Zoro sighed, shaking his head. "Typical…" He blinked. "Eh? First mate? Since when were you captain!?"

"Shishishi! Since now! This just confirmed it!"

Yep. Zoro definitely hated magical lamps with sneaky genies in them.

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A/N: Huzzah. Finished editing!

So, for those confused, I think when I was writing this, I decided to make only the person who summoned Luffy out of his lamp thingy to be the only one to see him. I don't know why, but I probably had my reasons. (Shrugs and pokes forehead) Boredom does strange things to you, brain.

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed this…