Lying to yourself

By Riley S

"I love you!" the voice yells across the hall.

"Go to hell!" I fume.

Now I know what you're thinking. Why would I, Sakura Kinomoto, top of my class, head cheerleader, be yelling such horrible things to someone down the crowded hall? Well that is simple, because it's Syaoran Li. Yes, THAT Syaoran Li. The most loves, most popular, soccer captain, and straight A student. But he isn't as wonderful as you think, or everyone else seems to believe he is. No, not at all.

He is an arrogant, rude, condescending jerk. Ever since freshman year of high school, during orientation he has picked me as his target. He kept pulling on my hair during orientation until I turned around to hit him, then I got in trouble and got detention. And sophomore year when he was my lab partner and mixed up the chemicals so that my project blew up…and I got detention. And when I got out of detention, who do you think was waiting for me? You guessed it, but it wasn't to apologize, no. He asked me out. Can you believe that! After he sent me to detention, he decided that it would be a good idea to ask me out.

So what do you think I did? I shoved him into a locker and walked away.

"Syaoran again?" My best friend Tomoyo asked as I sat down next to her in the library. We both had a free period this period. I looked at her before nodding.

"The more you let him get to you. The more ammo you give him." She said before going back to her book.

"I know." I sighed. "It's just that….he is so, so frustrating! He thinks he is all that, with his shinny hair and cocky smile and…"

"That sexy look in his eye." I hear someone finish behind me. I turn around quickly, only to be faced with the amber eyed jerk. His hair was falling slightly in front of his eyes and he was bending over so his face was now right in front of mine. I could smell chocolate on his breath.

"Ew, get away." I say trying to shove him back, only to have him grab my wrists.

"Now why would I do that?" He says with that cocky smile playing on his lips.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" I say finally being able to get my hands free. He takes this opportunity to sit across from Tomoyo and me.

"Yeah, but I already read the chapter the teacher assigned so she gave me a free period." He said while glancing around the room, only to have his eyes come back and land right on me. I shiver for a moment, feeling as if he can see right threw me.

"Shouldn't you be practicing for your game or something?" I say trying to show him that I am annoyed with his presence.

"I should, but I knew you were in here, so I thought I would come and visit." He smiles again.

Ugh…

"Go away, I'm studying."

"Okay…but only because you asks so nicely Saks."

"Don't call me that." I grumble.

"I'll see you at the game." He winks at me, "you know I love how you look in your cheer outfit." He says before slipping out of the room.

I can actually feel my face turning red at this point. "Sakura…" Tomoyo says gently next to me.

"I know, I'm red." I say as I burry my face in my book.

"I don't know why you hate him so much." She says casually, as I turn to glare at her. "Just hear me out. So many girls would die to be you. He gives you extra attention, he is always looking at you with that lost puppy look when you aren't looking at him."

"It's a façade." I say trying to change the subject.

"I don't think it is. I think he means it. I think he really likes you, and I think the part that scares you the most, is that you might, just might like him back." She says.

"I do not." I say suddenly, as she looks at me, with that all knowing look. "I have to go." I say as I grab my bad and jet out of the room.

She is crazy, Tomoyo has officially lost it. I keep telling myself as I change into my uniform for the soccer game. I don't know why we need cheerleaders for Soccer, it's so stupid. Actually I do know why, because Syaoran told the principle and the coach that it would help them concentrate more. That lying sack of…. Well I'm sure you get the idea…

"Looking good Saks." I hear a voice call out to me as we get onto the field. I decide to ignore him and turn to my team.

"You guys ready?" I say with a smile.

"Um Sakura…" I hear one of the girls say to me, pointing over to something behind me.

"What-"

"Are you going to be the one getting thrown in the air tonight?" I hear a voice whisper into my left ear. I freeze for a moment before I realize who it is.

"Get lost Li." I say without turning around.

"Okay, but only because the game is starting." He says as he walks away, but not without giving me a little tap on my butt causing me to turn bright red again.

"That jerk!" I mumble under my breath.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Tanya, one of my cheerleaders, asks me as we go to sit on the sidelines.

"Why not?" I say whipping dirt off my skirt and trying to get my blush to calm down.

"Because he is perfect. And so obviously in love with you. You know he hasn't even gone out with a girl this year. Not once. Compared to that last three years, it's a big change. I heard him tell Eriol once it was because he wanted you." She says while watching the game start.

"He just says that, but he doesn't mean it." I say, "He only asks me out because he knows it annoys me."

"You really think that?" She says looking at me; I can hear the whistle starting the game.

"Positive." I say as I turn back to the game.

Syaoran is forward, along with his best friend Eriol. They work very well together, it probably helps that we have the number one team in the division this year. Everyone says its because Syaoran is captain. By half time we are up 2-1. I get the girls together and we do a small cheer for them while they get some water, and then the other team does their cheer. I can feel Syaorans' eyes on me the entire time.

About half way through the last half we are tied 2-2. I was watching as Syaoran and a player from the other team fought over the ball, in one swift movement the ball is out from under both of their feet, and the other team has possession. I turn to tell the girls to get ready to do a cheer from the side lines, and the next thing I know I hear someone calling my name, and a soft hand on my face before I felt by body being lifted up, and then I completely blacked out.

About an hour later I wake up to white lights. I blink a couple times to try to adjust my vision. I'm in the nurses station at school, that much I am sure of. Tomoyo is sitting next to me.

"You're awake!" She sounds relieved.

"What happened?" I ask still groggy.

"Someone from the other team kicked the ball and it hit you in the head, it gave you a concussion."

"Oh.." I said trying to recall the events.

"Syaoran took you here. He called a time out. When the nurse wouldn't let him stay he went back to the game and almost killed the kid that kicked the ball. We won 5-2." She says.

"Syaoran…?" I say trying to understand all that she told me.

"He was really worried. He just left to go change, but said he would be back." She smiles at me.

Slowly I try to sit up, my head is still spinning. "Can I go home?" I say looking at Tomoyo.

"The nurse said you were fine. She just wants you to take it easy."

I look down and notice I am still in my cheer uniform. "I brought you your clothes." Tomoyo says pointing to my gym bag on the floor. "I wish I could stay and walk you home Sakura, but I have rehearsal for the concert next week. I should get going." She smiles warmly at me, before glancing at the door. I look over to see Syaoran leaning on the door frame. His hair is plastered to his face, and there is a little bit of mud on his cheeks. Tomoyo smiles at him before leaving, "Oh…Syaoran, would be please walk Sakura home? I want to make sure she makes it safely."

"I can do it myse-"

"Of course." He responds, without even looking at Tomoyo, he has his eyes trained on me, as she leaves the room.

"I can walk myself." I say as I move to stand up, perhaps a little to fast because I could see the ground coming up at me. I suddenly feel a strong arm wrap around me, and I can feel breath on my neck.

"Are you sure about that." I look over to see Syaorans' face just inches away from mine, and I can feel my face start to warm up. "Come on lets get you home." He says as he grabs my school bag, while still having his arm wrapped around my waist.

"You can let me go." I say as I start to get annoyed.

"I know." He says with a grin on his face.

After much struggle I finally manage to get his arm off of me about half way home. For some reason he walked to school today too, instead of taking one of his cars. As we approached my house, I noticed it had been quiet for the last ten minutes. Compared to the rest of the walk where he wouldn't stop trying to touch my skirt, or make some rude comment to me.

"Hey, Sakura?" I hear his voice behind me as I reach the gate. He sounds sad almost.

"Yeah." I say turning around.

"Why do you hate me?" He asks to my surprise. He looks lost as he looks down at me. He is still holding my bag because he didn't want me to strain myself.

I think for a moment, Why do I hate you….because I don't hate you. I hear the voice in my head tell me. I smile a little, but he doesn't notice because he is now looking down. Slowly I reach over to take my bag off of his shoulder. At this he looks up at me. "I don't hate you." I say as I put the bad on my shoulder and turn to walk up my porch.

"You don't?" He says surprised.

"No, why would you think that?"

"Because you always tell me you hate me." He says.

I laugh a little. "I don't hate you. You irritate me, and annoy me, and make me want to rip my hair out sometimes….but…"

"But…"

"But you have your nice moments sometime I guess. Thanks for walking me home…even though I could have done it myself." I smile.

"I don't get a good night kiss?" He asks. I can see that sparkle back in his eyes.

"Good night Syaoran." I say as I turn around to walk in my house. I can almost feel him still smiling.

I think he really likes you, and I think the part that scares you the most, is that you might, just might like him back.

Ugh…Shut up Tomoyo! Why did she have to say that to me…now she has me thinking about things I don't want to think about?

It had been stuck in my head all night, and I could barley sleep. As I woke up the next morning, late as usual, it was all I could think about. And I would have kept thinking about, except when I opened the door to leave for school who do you think was standing there waiting for me?

Syaoran.

"Can I help you?" I say as I try to shove past him.

"Its more like, can I help YOU." He smiles. "You're going to be late."

"So are you." I say as I make my way to the gate.

"No I have a car…I was going to give you a ride." At this I pause. He is being nice…this is unusual. I turn to look at him. "You have ten minutes to get to class; we both know you won't make it…hop in." He says as he makes his way to the drivers' side door of his BMW. I pause and look behind me, in the direction of the school, then at his smiling face in his car. I lower my head in defeat as I walk to the passenger side.

"See, I can be nice, ALL the time." He says with the twinkle still in his eyes.

As we made our way to school, five minutes later I could see all the people talking as I got out of his car. Everyone at school knows I am always late, and that I hate Syaoran, this would definitely cause some gossip.

"Come on Saks, would hate for you to be late." He says trying to grab my bag from me.

"I can carry my own stuff, thank you! And don't call me that!" I say as I storm past him into the main building.

I can see Tomoyo smiling that secret smile of hers once I arrive to class. "Don't…" I say.

Her smile grows wider. "Your on time." I can tell she is dying inside to say something.

"Tomoyo…"

"That was very sweet of him…driving you and all." She says still smiling.

"Tomoyo" I warm again as the teacher walks in the class room.

At lunch Tomoyo and I were sitting at our usual table, I was looking over some notes for my science class I had after lunch. Unfortunately Syaoran was in my class, luckily he was not my partner.

"Bad news Saks." I hear a deep voice say in front of me, as Syaoran sits down.

"You're still alive?" I grumble as I try to burry myself in my notes.

"My lab partner is out for the day, so I talked to the teach, and he said I could be with you!" I look up suddenly, he is smiling that cocky smile as always.

"That is bad news. What about Anna, you know MY lab partner?" I say wondering how he had pulled this off.

"Oh don't worry; I talked to her its fine." He says still smiling. At this I glared at him before picking up my notes and storming out of the cafeteria, not before hearing him lean over to tell Tomoyo "I'm wearing her down."

Ugh dreaded science. This use to be one of my favorite classes…not so much anymore. "Don't look so sad. At least now you will get an A" Syaoran smiles at me as he copies down the notes from the board for our assignment.

"I ALWAYS get an A." I remind him. He just chuckles a little before pulling his goggles over his eyes.

We did get an A.

I didn't see Syaoran for the next two classes, I thought I was free until I was putting my books back in my locker.

"I heard they are making you take the day off from cheer." I hear his smug voice behind me as I shut my locker door.

"Don't you have practice?" I grumble.

"No, since we won coach gave us a free day."

"Lucky you" I say as I try to shove past him, only to have him move forward so my back is pinned against the lockers.

"Lucky you, I get to drive you home." He is smiling, and I can smell his cologne on him still. I can feel my face start to turn a shade of red. Slowly he moves his head lower so he is now mere centimeters from my face. "Mmm…you smell like strawberries." He says, before smiling and moving a couple inches back.

By now I'm almost positive my face is bright red.

You hate him Saks…

Why?

Because it's easier to admit that….

As we get to my house, we both notice all the lights are off. And it looks like it might start to rain fairly soon.

"No one home?" Syaoran asks, as if reading my thoughts.

"Looks like it." I say as I get out of his car, to my surprise so does he. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"Can I use your restroom?" He asks with a smile.

"No, go home and use yours."

"Sakura…"

"Fine," I say as I turn around and head into the house. Once inside I point to the closest bathroom for him to use. It isn't long before I start to hear rain pounding outside. I shiver a little as I look out the window.

"Its really coming down hu?" He asks once he has returned.

"Yeah it looks like it." I say as I turn to walk past him. Not before he grabs my wrist and looks at me seriously.

"Go out with me." Its more of a statement than a question.

"No."

"Why not?" He asks, still holding my wrist. "You know you like me." He is smiling that cocky smile again.

"Go get one of your other girls to go out with you. Please you have a new girlfriend every other week." I say as I manage to pull my arm free.

"Not this year."

"Wow a record hu?" I say, I can feel my anger start to boil.

"It bothers you doesn't it? That I go out with others girls." He says as if he has suddenly realized something.

"You try to tell me you love me, and I'm special, yet your always going out with some new girl. How special does that make me?" I say suddenly realizing why I always got mad when he was with a new girl. Suddenly I realize why for the last year I felt hot, and annoyed inside when I would see his arms around another girl…see him kissing others girls.

"I'm human Sakura, I have NEEDS. But I have NEVER lied to you. Everything I have ever told you is the truth." He says his voice is rising in anger as well. "But I mean it really bothers you, you don't want to think about me kissing, or touching others girls do you. It makes you jealous." He is stepping closer to me.

"I hate you. You know nothing about me." I find myself yelling.

"Admit it."

"Get out Syaoran." I say pointing to the door, but he only moves forward.

"Admit it!" He finally yells.

"Fine! Are you happy, I'm freakin jealous!" I yell again.

"Extactic" I hear him say before his lips capture mine in a hot kiss. I feel his arms encircle my waist, as my arms slide around his neck and into his hair. Without thinking I am kissing him back. It was hot and cold, every emotion possible was running threw my veins as he moved his lips against mine. Slowly he pulls away until his nose is touching mine. I finally open my eyes to see his deep amber ones looking into me. "Was that so hard?" He smiles.

"I hate you." I say as he laughs.

"No you don't."

The ending felt a bit rushed, but I got a little lost and forgot where I was going with it :D

I have another one shot I'm working on, and the next chapter to Be My Eyes, as well. I will get them up to you when I get my computer back (the hard drive had a stroke, and my AC cable a heart attack so I had to replace things) and can get to working on where I left off.

I hope you all enjoyed the story, please review!!

Riley S

"Sakura and Syaoran are just two star cross lovers who's lives are intertwined by the Clow cards, to become the greatest romance of all time…"