A/N:

Due to my idiocy, I somehow managed to accidentally delete this chapter as I was halfway through with it. I was so upset with myself that I did not even touch the flash drive I kept it on for weeks. Sorry for the delay.

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16. History

"I took precautions," I told her. "Hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human." I had to stifle a laugh at the memory.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica's mind…" I tried my best not to shudder at the thought. "Her mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating." My face was set in a frown as I realized irritating was an understatement.

"I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions … and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again…

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment — because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are." I hated the very memory — the very thought that I could have… "But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

It had been the first time I had showed my infatuation with her subconsciously. No matter how hard I had tried … it seemed that this electricity between us was destined to exist.
I closed my eyes, realizing it was the first time that my feelings for her had become so deeply etched into my being that I did not have to think about saving her life. It was instinct. Natural.

"In the hospital?"

My eyes opened quickly, staring into hers once more. "I was appalled." I said, remembering the day with shame from the way I had acted towards her. "I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power — you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you." I flinched at the word as she did the same, and it became difficult to maintain eye contact with her. "But it had the opposite effect. I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time … the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." I frowned slightly, remembering her vision from earlier. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay." My smile returned as I recalled that. Esme wanted me to be happy, even if it meant risking all of this … for a human girl.

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair … it hit me as hard as the very first day." I was able to look at her softly now that I had become so familiar with her scent in the past few hours. It was quite bearable for now.

"And for all that," I started again. "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here — with no witnesses and nothing to stop me — I were to hurt you."

It was nothing less than the truth, yet she still questioned it.

"Why?"

"Isabella," I drew out her name, tousling her hand with a grin.

She held strictly still as I touched her. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me. The thought of you, still, white cold…" I felt I was a horrible, wretched thing for even bringing the thought to her mind. "…To never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses … it would be unendurable." I looked straight into her focused face, trying to make sure she would understand this.

"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever," I corrected.

She looked down in a flash, a rosy color forming on her cheeks. I waited — I needed to know her side… her thoughts.

"You already know how I feel, of course," she said at length. Her answer frustrated me — I had my assumptions, but I needed to hear it. "I'm here … which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you." She sighed, grimacing. "I'm an idiot."

"You are an idiot." I smiled as I laughed at her statement, relieved to find she laughed along with me.

"And so…" I sighed almost sadly as I looked down at her. "The lion fell in love with the lamb…"

She blushed and looked away hurriedly, whispering, "What a stupid lamb."

"What a sick, masochistic lion." I retorted, my gaze wandering from her own. This was what I had decided. My obsession had turned into love — and that love would surely kill both of us over time. Still… was it worth it?

"Why…?" Her sweet voice trailed off, and I looked back at her.

"Yes?" I asked. Why was she so unsure of herself around me?

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

If my face had held the slightest hint of a smile before, it most assuredly disappeared in that moment. "You know why." It was the simplest of answers.

"No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do." I stifled a laugh. "This, for example…" Her fingers brushed the back of my hand, the warmth of her skin making me smile. "…seems to be all right."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella," I assured her. "It was my fault."

If only I had better control…

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

"Well…" I was completely sure that — no matter what she did — she would still be the greatest temptation my life had ever faced. "It was just how close you were," I tried to explain. "Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness … I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat…" I stopped talking abruptly as I realized what I had said.

"Okay, then," She said quickly, breaking the hardened silence that befell us. "No throat exposure." She tilted her head down, tucking her chin.

I chuckled. "No, really," I said once more, although I was amused by her enthusiasm to help… curb my hunger. "It was more the surprise than anything else."

She needed to understand that, despite the enticement she would always be, I had control over my actions. Of course, with a great deal of difficulty.

I lifted my hand to touch her neck, noticing the way she sat as still as she possibly could. Her heartbeat jumped, however it was not as dramatic as before. Perhaps she was growing more comfortable in my presence?

"You see… perfectly fine." I knew it to be the truth… yet she was so fragile, so easily broken. Even a small action like this put her life in more danger than was healthy.

I could feel her warm blood racing through her veins now, tormenting.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I muttered, my mind slipping from the present moment.

With as much strength as I could muster, I focused on her eyes. I pulled my other hand away from hers, reaching towards her face. If I'd had a heartbeat, I knew right then that it would be racing as fast as her own.

"Be very still," I warned softly, though I knew she was as motionless as she would ever be. I had to try… I had to be sure that…

Again, her scent sent my thoughts into pieces, and I struggled to pay attention.

As slowly as I could manage, I moved towards her and turned my head as I leaned against her. Though I could have heard her pulse well enough from sever meters away, I still let my hands fall to her shoulders as I sighed.

The beat was far from steady — racing, erratic, fitful… but alive.

She neither moved, nor spoke, but sat rigidly in my presence. I could imagine her face, pink with the intimacy of my action, but I did not allow myself to look up. Instead, I closed my eyes, memorizing the sound or her heartbeat.

Time fell away from us, though I would not have complained. A single moment with Bella, my Bella, was worth thousands with anyone else. She was my obsession, my addiction. From this moment on, I knew I could never turn back — not only from the thought of staying, but from my decision to keep her alive, no matter the cost to me or the temptation it would cause me to face.

Her pulse slowed after a while, much to my dismay. I found an odd, proud delight in her reaction to my touch and to my voice. It was amusing, to say the least.

Though I longed for her warmth, to stay this close to her for hours more, I forced myself to move away from her.

I was completely decided.

I would never turn back.

"It won't be so hard again," I said contentedly. After hearing that steady beat, I knew I would rather suffer any kind of torture imaginable than let it stop.

"Was that very hard for you?"

Of course, she was always curious.

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be." Yes, she was still alive. Things had gone very well indeed. "And you?"

"No, it wasn't bad … for me."

"You know what I mean," I said, grinning crookedly. "Here." I took her soft hand gently, holding it against my face.

"Do you feel how warm it is?" I smiled down at her as she blushed, her pulse jumping again.

"Don't move." She spoke quietly, but I obeyed.

It was easy for me to sit completely motionless, although I usually tried to fidget once in a while, to appear more human.

I made no attempts now.

I closed my eyes the moment her fingers touched my face. Immediately, a hunger built up inside of me, but I had no thoughts of her blood. The feeling confused me, although it made me struggle to hold still under her touch.

Her hand brushed the side of my face, trailing across my lips. I sighed as I felt the warmth, but she pulled away quickly.

My eyes flashed open quickly, but I did not find her frightened by the sudden movement.

She had stopped herself.

For me.

"I wish," I paused, "I wish you could feel the … complexity … the confusion … I feel. That you could understand." I lifted my hand slowly, touching her soft face as softly as I could.

"Tell me," she answered.

"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger — the thirst — that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you." Unfortunately for her well being, I thirsted for her in more ways than one. "And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though… as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely." I smiled almost sadly, brushing my fingers across her lips.

"But… There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand that better than you think."

I'd known as much, but I wondered if she felt that… for me, perhaps?

"I'm not used to feeling so human," I explained. "Is it always like this?"

"For me?" Her eyes were honest. "No, never. Never before this."

I took her hands in mine, desperately trying to figure things about.

"I don't know how to be close to you." My voice sounded strained, agonized. "I don't know if I can."

Slowly, deliberately, she leaned towards me, resting her head on my chest.

"This is enough," she breathed.

After a few seconds, I lifted my arms, holding her close, but not tightly. I could not help but feel a wave a sadness wash over me. We had been in the exact opposite position only minutes before, but she would surely hear no heartbeat as I had heard hers. I sighed as I closed my eyes and held her quietly.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," she said presently.

I grinned. "I have human instincts — they may be buried deep, but they're there."

We sat in silence until the shadows crept forth from the forest. The day was ending — a sad realization for both of us.

"You have to go."

Could she tell from my voice that it was the last thing I wanted?

"I thought you couldn't read my mind."

I stifled a chuckle. "It's getting clearer."

A sudden thought came to the surface of my mind, and I put my hands on her shoulders, holding her at a distance to see her face.

"Can I show you something?" Surely she could hear the excitement in my voice.

"Show me what?" I expected the nervousness in her voice, but not before she realized what it was.

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." The unease in her voice instantly showed on her face. "Don't worry, you'll be safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." I grinned.

"Will you turn into a bat?" She looked up at me jokingly, but without much energy.

I laughed much louder than I had intended. "Like I haven't heard that one before!" Actually, I hadn't. It wasn't as if many humans had asked. Or any at all.

"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time."

I should have known she would see through that response.

"Come on, little coward, climb on my back." I watched as she hesitated, probably wondering if I was joking.

As I stretched my arms toward her, her heartbeat spiked, though it only made me grin all the more. I lifted her without any effort, and she fretfully wrapped her arms around me with as much strength as she had.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack."

"Hah!" Again, I chuckled at the way she viewed me. She was lighter than air to me.

I touched her hand, pressing it to my face as I smiled. "Easier all the time," I murmured.

Then, though I probably should have given a warning, I began to run.

I heard her quick intake of breath, muffled by the sound of the wind passing by us. She did not tighten her grip any, but for the next thirty seconds or so, I did not hear her breathe. After only a few minutes, my eyes could see the light ahead of the path where we had left her truck.

I stopped quickly, the gravel underneath my feet scattering. "Exhilarating, isn't it?" My voice sounded more cheerful than usual.

She did not move at all, but I could hear the erratic beating of her heart that filled me with worry.

"Bella?" I breathed.

"I think I need to lie down," she said suddenly.

"Oh, sorry." I knew sorry did not even begin to cover it. I hadn't realized…

"…I think I need help."

I chuckled softly, though I was extremely troubled about her condition. I pulled her arms away from my neck, turning so I could hold her. It was clear that she was having trouble keeping her head lifted straight. After a moment, I set her down on the grassy ground.

"How do you feel?"

We should have just walked back.

"Dizzy, I think." She blinked a few times, taking deep breaths.

"Put your head between your knees."

She did as I said, and her breathing became even. Presently, I sat down beside her, watching her every move.

A few minutes passed before she was able to look up, but not yet open her eyes.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I admitted.

"No," she countered, ever positive. "It was very interesting." The lie was clear to see, since her face had turned a sickly pale color.

"Hah! You're as white as a ghost — no, you're as white as me!"

"I think I should have closed my eyes," she mused, regretfully.

"Remember that next time."

"Next time!" Her mood fell instantly. I laughed openly as she muttered, "Show off."

It was about at this time that my brightened mood somehow turned into… not arrogance, but something more along the lines of over-confidence.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I whispered.

And she did.

What she didn't expect to see was myself so close to her, without warning.

"I was thinking, while I was running…" I started.

Well, I had thought about this quite some time before that, but…

"About not hitting trees, I hope," she finished for me.

"Silly Bella," I grinned. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about."

"Show-off," she said with all seriousness.

"No…" I concentrated. "I was thinking there was something I wanted to try."

Her breath caught in her throat the instant I touched her warm face. I leaned towards her, but I stopped myself, hesitating.

The air was thick with her scent, though it wasn't as much of a distraction as it had been earlier. Still, I held her fragile face between my stone-cold hands, and she did not seem to mind. Would I be able to stop myself if… if it became too much? I needed to be sure.

Then, pushing all other thoughts aside, I pressed my lips against hers as softly as I could manage.

It was as if my entire body was filled with immeasurable warmth, wild and uncontrollable. I quickly found it became a struggle to hold her the way I did. She was so incredibly fragile, so breakable, but my mind wanted to forget it.

And then, she reacted.

But not in the way I had expected.

The moment I felt that hunger well up inside of me — the one I shouldn't have been feeling — I put my hands on her shoulders, pushing her back lightly, though her fingers were still twisted in my hair.

"Oops," she whispered, her eyes looking at me guiltily.

"That's an understatement," I said with what was left of my air. I refused to breathe, and I most certainly could not move.

I waited for the burning in my throat to subside. For my head to clear. For my mind to come back to what was right and moral.

"Should I…?" She tried to move away, kind, thoughtful person that she always was.

I did not allow her to move, however.

"No, it's tolerable." I looked down at her. "Wait for a moment, please."

She watched me anxiously.

Suddenly, a grin broke out over my face as I finally realized it.

I was strong enough to resist her… to save her life… to keep her here with me.

With a deep breath, I was able to finally have peace.

"There," I said with a smile.

"Tolerable?"

"I'm stronger than I thought," I said with a chuckle. "It's nice to know."

"I wish I would say the same. I'm sorry," she apologized, softly.

"You are only human, after all." I grinned.

"Thanks so much," she said sarcastically.

I regrettably decided it was time to leave, and I stood, holding out my hand to her. She took it, but her legs seemed to refuse to hold her own weight.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I smiled, feeling lighter by the second with each minute spent around her.

"I can't be sure," she said presently. "I'm still woozy. I think it's some of both, though."

"Maybe you should let me drive." In her dizzy state, it seemed only proper to offer.

"Are you insane?"

She didn't think the same as me.

"I can drive better than you on your best day," I pointed out. "You have much slower reflexes."

"I'm sure that's true," she admitted. "But I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella."

She stared at me for a moment before shaking her head.

"Nope. Not a chance."

I looked at her in shock, incredulous, and put my arm around her waist as she walked by, stumbling.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive." I probably should have exaggerated that a bit more. "I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk." I laughed at the saying, or at least the context of which I used it in.

"Drunk?"

"You're intoxicated by my very presence," I kidded.

"I can't argue with that," she replied, her voice serious but light.

My eyes caught the flash of light that glinted off the key as she dropped it. I caught it easily, and she blinked, missing the action almost completely. "Take it easy — my truck is a senior citizen."

"Very sensible."

"And are you not affected at all?" She said with a bit of frustration in her voice. "By my presence?"

I wanted to laugh at the notion. How could she possibly not see how she affected me? Was it not plain as day?

With the smallest of smiles, I leaned towards her, taking in her scent cautiously. She shivered as I her cheeks, her chin, delighting in the warm touch of her skin.

Of course I would always be affected by her presence. There would never be a moment when I was not.

"Regardless," I said presently as I listened to her breathing start again. "I have better reflexes."

She managed to nod, and, by some miracle, get into her truck without tripping. I followed, but slightly disappointed, though I did not show it.

I did not wish to return to a place where I had to keep up the façade. Things were so much easier here… there were no lies to hold up, no stories to keep.

I sighed, but turned the key in the ignition anyway.

With decades of practice, I kept the truck perfectly on the road at a reasonable speed even without much attention. I took her hand in mine, wishing we could return to the meadow. And we could — soon, with the way things were going.

She barely moved at my touch, but after a few moments she grew comfortable, smiling as she tried to keep her gaze focused on the passing scenery and not my face. The breeze played with her hair, blowing her scent across my face.

I barely noticed it, really.

I grinned at my composed control — this was something I had dreamed of, hoped for. I could finally relax in her presence, perhaps not completely, but it was certainly a noticeable difference.

A familiar song began to play on the radio as we pulled onto the highway.

This song had been of my favorites back in that decade, and I chuckled, low enough that she could not hear. It was probably written long before even her father had been born, I realized as I did the math.

Normally, this though would have set my smile into a scowl, what with the differences in my true age to her own. Yet… I felt so sure that not a thing could ruin my mood today, I sang along quietly with every word.

"You like fifties music?" she asked presently.

I nodded with a grin. "Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!" I recalled the noise that passed for music in that time. "The eighties were bearable," I admitted.

"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" Her voice was soft — it seemed she did not want me to become upset.

I knew she would wonder eventually, and that sooner or later she would need to know the truth.

"Does it matter much?" I dodged the question, flashing a smile.

"No, but I still wonder… There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

"I wonder if it will upset you," I said quietly.

Surely, if she had any sense left in her, she would not like my answer. However, she had been so accepting of everything else — so polite. Perhaps…

And yet, what if she did become upset? What if, despite my outward appearance, it was just too… odd. Too awkward.

I gazed out of the window at the concrete flying beneath the truck, grimacing.

Maybe I was too old for her.

"Try me," she said after a long while.

I sighed, realizing I would never win this. I looked over to her, watching her eyes. They were so honest — so sincere.

I sighed once more.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I stopped for a moment, searching her eyes quickly only to find her completely calm. "Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918. I was seventeen, and dying of the Spanish influenza."

She gasped, and though it was a small, insignificant sound, I caught her gaze once more.

"I don't remember it well," I explained. "It was a very long time ago, and human memories fade."

And indeed they had.

I had few memories of anything in my past life, honestly. There were no memories of when I had first become sick, or even what it was like once I had. No memories of family, friends — if I'd even had any.

I had only vague recollections of small things… the crystal green of my mother's eyes, but not her face… the way the winter snow would blanket the city, yet not even the look of my own home.

I sighed at the sudden sadness that washed over me, only to feel the breeze hit my face, and with it a strong, familiar scent.

I was still in Bella's truck, speeding — only slightly — down the highway.

"I do remember how it felt," I continued. "…when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone." I suppressed another sigh. "That was why he chose me. In al the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he… save you?"

Of course, she would always ask the difficult questions to answer.

"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us." My statement did not begin to cover it. He was, perhaps, the most compassionate person I had ever met, let alone the most humane vampire. "…I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history."

She looked at me with a curious expression, and I knew I had better keep speaking before she realized I had not exactly answered her original question.

"For me, it was merely very, very painful."

She kept her mouth shut at that. It was perhaps from my expression, or the way I fell silent so quickly, that she knew not to ask a thing more concerning it.

"He acted from loneliness," I explained. "That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after."

I swallowed, searching my mind for a way to put this in a way that… would not seem to harsh.

"She fell from a cliff." I settled for a lie. "They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

Her face held a thoughtful look for a moment.

"So you have to be dying, then, to become…"

I could tell she was unable to say the word as I shook my head.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." And it was true. Carlisle held a respect for life that should have died when his heart did. "It is easier he says, though, if the blood is weak."

I looked forward, watching the road instead of keeping her gaze.

"And Emmett and Rosalie?"

Ever full of questions, I could tell she was looking over at me.

"Carlisle brought Rosalie to our family next," I paused slightly, wondering if I should continue. "I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping she would be what Esme was to him — he was careful with his thoughts around me." I had to roll my eyes at that. Nothing stayed hidden for long around me.

"But she was never more than a sister," I clarified. "It was only two years later that she found Emmett. She was hunting — we were in Appalachia at the time — and found a bear about to finish him off. She carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid she wouldn't be able to do it herself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for her." I watched her eyes, hoping I would not find any guilt.

After all, she couldn't help but be the greatest temptation that entered my life.

I lifted my hand, her fingers still intertwined with my own, and brushed her cheek.

"But she made it," she finished for me, blushing and looking away.

"Yes," I said, my gaze returning to the road. "She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they're been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." I chuckled as I realized something. "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years, again."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures," I explained, knowing it was probably the reason for the deep connection they shared. "They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another … family, a very different kind of family."

Of course, that did not cover even half of it.

"He became depressed, and he wandered on his own." Again, I respectively stretched the story in a lighter direction. "Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" She said, her interest growing. "But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true," I admitted. I felt a rush of… happiness with each thing I told her. It was good to finally tell someone all of these secrets we had tried so hard to hide. "She knows other things. She sees things — things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

I glanced at her for less than a second, my thoughts pulling me towards Alice's vision. Things weren't set in stone. That much I had already learned.

"What kinds of things does she see?" Bella asked.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us." I found myself smiling at the very memory. "She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example, when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of … your kind?"

Again, I caught her inability to say the word.

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people," I glanced at her with a grin before continuing, "can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live … differently tend to band together."

She shifted in her seat, tearing her gaze from the window.

"And the others?"

"Nomads for the most part," I said as we turned onto her street, though she did not notice. "We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

As I parked in front of the house, I stifled a laugh, the answer being so completely obvious.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon? Do think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents?" I turned slightly to look at her. "There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day." It definitely made us feel more human, if that was even possible.

"You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime in eighty-odd years," I teased.

"So that's where the legends come from?"

Ah, yes. The clichéd vampires that burn in the sun. It certainly seemed plausible.

"Probably."

"And Alice came from another family, like Jasper?"

"No, and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her," I watched Bella's face with a bit of humor, the way she hung on every word. "She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage."

I did not enjoy the thought — despite any anger I held towards her because of her vision, I could not imagine a life without Alice.

I grinned when Bella's stomach growled, interrupting the silence.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, but not very guilty for snatching her away for the day. "I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really," she replied, ever so polite.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget," I admitted.

"I want to stay with you," she said suddenly, and I could see her cheeks flush in the darkness.

"Can't I come in?"

"Would you like to?" She seemed surprised by my request.

"Yes, if it's all right." Just as I finished the sentence, I was at her door, opening it soundlessly.

She was shocked to see me move so quickly, but she smiled regardless.

"Very human," she said.

"It's definitely resurfacing."

I would have to listen for Charlie's thoughts more carefully. I wasn't sure how he would react to finding me in his home just yet.

We walked together to the door, and I politely opened it for her using the spare key I had seen her use many a night ago. She did not see my hand replace it as she stepped through the doorway.

I was about to follow when she paused, turning to me with a puzzled look.

"The door was unlocked?"

I did not give her credit — she noticed more than I had thought.

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

I wouldn't have been able to lie to her, anyhow.

She looked at me with a curious expression before I broke the silence.

"I was curious about you," I admitted.

"You spied on me?" I could tell she was trying to sound angry, but her voice just could not manage it.

"What else is there to do at night?" I teased her.

She dropped it with a huff and headed toward the kitchen. Her eyes did not catch me pass her, but she did stop for a moment in the kitchen doorway when she saw me sitting at the table.

Shaking her head, she took a container filled with some nameless food out from the refrigerator and prepared her dinner with little concentration. I watched her diligently, waiting for her to become irritated with me. Normally, a person would have been enraged at the thought of someone watching them.

I was still waiting for her reaction.

"How often?"

"Hmmm?" I blinked, trying to focus my mind.

"How often did you come here?" She was avoiding my gaze by busying herself with watching her food spin in the microwave.

"I come here almost every night."

She turned suddenly, her face filled with confusion. "Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep." I said truthfully. "You talk?"

"No!" She exclaimed, her face becoming a deep red as she leaned against the counter.

"Are you very angry with me?" I had never meant to upset her…

"That depends!" She breathed.

She looked at me, waiting for an answer.

"On?"

"What you heard!"

Immediately, I stood beside her, holding her fragile hands in my own.

"Don't be upset!" I begged, looking in her brown eyes earnestly. Meanwhile, she just looked more troubled by the minute.

"You miss your mother. You worry about her," I began. "And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.'" I chuckled at the memory.

"Anything else?"

I did not let my expression fall, but I had been hoping she would have accepted the first answers.

"You did say my name," I said presently.

"A lot?" She sighed.

I dodged the question with another. "How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh no!" She moaned, looking away.

I put my arms around her, pulling her closer as softly as possible.

"Don't be self-conscious," I murmured with a smile, hearing Charlie's thoughts turning onto the street.

"If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it," I finished, looking over at the windows as lights flashed across them from the cruiser.

"Should your father know I'm here?" I asked, though I knew the answer.

"I'm not sure…" Her sentence trailed as she thought.

"Another time then…" I said, determined.

I would be back, and hopefully to meet her father as well — sooner or later.

I escaped into the hallway quickly, my movements undetectable by her eyes.

"Edward!" I heard her whisper loudly, and I chuckled as I entered her room, sitting on the edge of her bed. My eyes trailed over her furniture, her books and clothes scattered across them and the floor.

Truly, I should have left. It was not… proper for me to behave this way, to be here. And yet — I reasoned with myself — if I left her, I would no longer be desensitized to her scent.

And that, I thought with a grin, would only put her life in danger.

And we couldn't have that, could we?