Got really bored and had major writer's block on Little Bundle of Joy, so I'm just writing this for fun.
Disclaimer: I don't own this. Obviously. And if you think I do, then you might have some personality issues. For heavens sake, I can't even draw a stick person.
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Everyone,
WHO TOOK THE LAST POPSICKLE?!?!
Grimmjow
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Grimmjow,
Obviously I knew you needed therapy, but I didn't think it was that much. You ate the last one yesterday, dumbass.
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
Someone's in a bad mood.
Szayel
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Szayel,
Anyone would be in a bad mood if they weren't getting any sex for three days straight!
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
Aww, is wittle Nnoitwa sad that Hawibel isn't giving him any?
Grimmjow
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Grimmjow,
Go fuck yourself.
Nnoitra
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Everyone,
Refrain from bad language here. Zommari is blanching every time he gets near the fridge these days.
Ulquiorra
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Ulquiorra,
Go fuck yourself.
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
Just because I don't have sex with you for three days doesn't mean you can take it out on the other Espada.
Halibel
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Halibel!
So does that mean you're not mad at me anymore?!
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
No.
Halibel
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Halibel,
Aww, now you've done it. Nnoitra's been sulking for the past few days. It's making the place so much gloomier.
Grimmjow
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Grimmjow,
It's not my fault.
Halibel
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Halibel,
Why are you so mad at him in the first place?
Szayel
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Everyone,
Please refrain from posting your notes on the fridge. I can hardly see the handle anymore.
Aizen
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(one week later)
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Everyone,
It's been a week, do you think we can post again?
Grimmjow
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Grimmjow,
I suppose so.
Ulquiorra
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Ulquiorra,
Have you seen Halibel and Nnoitra these days? They're not starting their shouting arguments across the breakfast table anymore.
Szayel
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Szayel,
They were making such a rukus Aizen-sama put them into privet rooms for the time being.
Ulquiorra
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Szayel and Ulquiorra,
JUST BECAUSE I'M IN PURGATORY DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!
Nnoitra
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Ulquiorra,
Do you suppose he uses his fraccion?
Szayel
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Szayel,
Obviously. No one else would listen to him.
Ulquiorra
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Mina-san,
What's this all about?
Orihime
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Orihime,
Hey. We're just discussing Halibel and Nnoitra.
Grimmjow
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Grimmjow-san,
Halibel-san and Nnoitra-san? What's wrong with them?
Orihime
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Hime,
Nnoitra's charged for sexually harassing Halibel. I don't think Halibel considered it rape, however...
Ulquiorra
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Ulquiorra,
Thank your for staying on my side. Heavy sarcasm implied.
Halibel
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Halibel,
...Your welcome.
Ulquiorra
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Halibel-san,
So have you and Nnoitra-san made up yet?
Orihime
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Halibel!
I still don't know why you're mad at me!
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
The next time you contact me on the fridge I'm going to ignore you.
Halibel
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Bel-Bel,
Come on, don't do this!
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
...
Halibel
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Bel-Bel,
I'm dragging you into the next closet I see you pass.
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
You will die.
Halibel
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Bel-Bel,
Don't tell me you didn't like that. After not having sex for over a week, you could not have not liked it.
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
Leave me alone.
Halibel
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Everyone,
Oh my god, I am getting a big headache. Can anyone get them to shut up?! I can't even eat dinner in peace!
Grimmjow
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Grimmjow,
Shut the hell up.
Nnoitra
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Nnoitra,
Take your lover's spat elsewhere. I want to puke everytime I see the fridge these days.
Gin
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Noi-bear,
If you don't leave me alone, I'm not giving you sex for a month.
Halibel
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Bel-Bel,
Don't do this. STOP GIVING ME THE SILENT TREATMENT!
Nnoitra
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Noi-bear,
You deserved it.
Halibel
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Bel-Bel,
Man, my bed is so empty when I'm alone at night. PLEASE. I'm BEGGING YOU. Can we just kiss and make up?
Nnoitra
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Noi-bear,
...Ugh. FINE.
Halibel
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(one week later)
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Noi-bear,
Why are you giving me the silent treatment now?! What did I do to you?!
Halibel
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Bel-Bel,
I'm just showing you what it feels like.
Nnoitra
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Everyone,
Hey, Bel-Bel and I are going to a vacation in the living world! Have fun in hell!
Nnoitra
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Hime,
...Are they finally gone?
Ulquiorra
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Qui-chan,
I think they are.
Orihime
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Ulquiorra and Orihime,
NO. Don't you two start using pet names on here. I will POISON ALL YOUR FOOD IF YOU START DOING WHAT HALIBEL AND NNOITRA DID.
Szayel
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Everyone,
At least things are calm now. No more lover spats over the table.
Stark
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Mina-san,
Did you guys hear about Gin and Matsumoto?
Orihime
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ORIHIME,
DON'T START THIS CYCLE AGAIN!!
Espada
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Heh. That was kind of fun to write. I think I'll make one in the Soul Society. It doesn't really matter. ^.^ Please review.